Finding Master Right

by Sparrow Beckett

  The stop-and-go traffic through town gave her time to assess the day.

  The man could eat! Which made her not as shy about trying some of everything too. He seemed to like that her appetite could almost keep up with his. He’d named her his Foodie Friend, and they had plans for Vietnamese food the next weekend. At his place.

  What if he wanted to play right away? Was she ready for that? She thought about playing with Ambrose, but Banner kept replacing him in her thoughts.

  It was Banner she wanted, but he was determined to get rid of her. The rejection still stung, even if the reasons made sense. Feelings often weren’t very sensible.

  She pushed the thoughts away and pretended Banner had never happened. Making believe she’d met Ambrose by chance at the market, she thought about their upcoming date.

  She wondered what kinds of things he was into. Banner had told her their kinks mostly lined up, but he’d also mentioned Ambrose wasn’t as strict and had a weakness for brats.

  Was she a brat?

  A shiver shot down her spine as she daydreamed about what they might do in the privacy of his house.

  In her head, they were in Banner’s dungeon. She’d never been in other dungeons so most of her fantasies happened there.

  If he was into the same things as Banner, would he tie her up? Use her mouth? Whisper nasty threats in her ear?

  She shuddered.

  A picture formed in her mind. She was on Banner’s bed on all fours while someone shuffled behind her. Whimpering, she wondered if he was getting lube.

  Would Ambrose insist on taking her ass as Banner had wanted to? A man came up behind her, stroked down her back, making her arch like a cat and purr.

  “There’s my kitty,” he said, voice rough and seductive.

  But it was Banner’s voice.

  Fuck.

  She gave her head a shake and placed Ambrose there instead. Her clit tingled, and she wished she had access to her vibrator. In five minutes she’d be home and could take care of things. She squirmed in her seat. No harm in fantasizing to get ready though.

  Ambrose walked around her needy body then put a finger under her chin to force her to look at him. Only Banner’s face was there when she tilted her head up.

  Ugh!

  “Get out of my head!”

  She forced Ambrose back into the picture.

  “Are you a good kitty or a bad kitty?” he whispered.

  “Um.”

  He moved his hand to her hair and yanked it.

  In real life, a rush of heat flooded her pussy. Her underwear was probably soaked. Oh, she was a bad kitty, alright.

  A car honked and she looked up, realizing she’d been sitting at a green light. Mortified, she cleared her head and focused on driving the rest of the way home. Her clit still ached when she made it into her condo parking lot. Vibrator was a must. But first, she wanted to text Banner. Maybe some resolution would get him out of her fantasies.

  She pulled out her phone and wrote, Ambrose is great. Thanks for the hook-up!

  She waited a moment to see if there’d be a response. When none came, she sighed and walked to the door. Pixie would need to go out, so her vibrator plans would have to be put on hold. Actually, by the time she got settled back at home, the mood would be over. She hated when that happened.

  Her text alert beeped right as she went through the door. It was Banner.

  I’m glad you hit it off. He’s a good guy. You can trust him.

  But maybe I don’t want a good guy, she almost wrote. Maybe I want you.

  Whoa. Where had that come from?

  Feeling confused and still a little horny, she set her purse on the counter. It probably wasn’t wise to text him back right now. Not with her feelings all out of whack. Maybe sub drop was still affecting her.

  She looked at Pixie, and Pixie looked back at her.

  “What’s wrong with me, Pixie?”

  She snorted.

  “You’re so full of wisdom, you know that?”

  Maybe she should stop talking to dogs and talk to Janine instead. But what could she say?

  I can’t stop fantasizing about a guy, but I’m dating his best friend?

  Classy.

  Maybe getting somewhere with Ambrose would clear Banner from her mind and replace him in her fantasies. Yeah. That sounded good.

  She took out her phone and texted Ambrose this time. Can’t wait for next weekend. What should I wear?

  That should start the ball rolling.

  Chapter 14

  “You look like shit.” From his perch at the breakfast bar, Rook watched Banner breaking eggs into the frying pan. The kid didn’t look much better, with his hair tousled and unkempt and dark circles under his eyes. Should he start turning off the internet after midnight so that he would sleep more?

  “Watch your language.” Banner frowned at the eggs as though they’d personally offended him.

  “You’re the one who taught me how to cuss.”

  “Point taken.”

  He was glad to have his brother as a distraction for the weekend, even if he was too perceptive. He tried not to look at the breakfast bar, but it was hard to avoid with the kid sitting there.

  Banner had been avoiding that part of the kitchen because it made him think of Kate. It reminded him of dragging her out from under the counter and defiling her on the kitchen floor. The way she’d looked at him, the softness of her skin, her scent, the tickle of her hair on his face when she was near. The Kate in his mind kissed him, and he could almost hear the crumpling of his pathetic heart.

  For weeks he’d been trying to tell himself that it was for the best. That she deserved to have her own desires satisfied instead of being forced to submit to his, that he didn’t want her anyway—even that the despondency he felt would make him a better artist. It was all fucking bullshit. He wanted her back. He wanted to be selfish and drive over to Ambrose’s house and drag her out of there. To remind her who owned her.

  But he didn’t.

  Instead, he suffered through calls and visits from both Ambrose and Kate, singing each other’s praises and thanking him for introducing them. They were perfect for each other. Kate was the best submissive Ambrose had ever trained. Ambrose was exactly the kind of Dom that she’d been looking for. He was smart and funny and charming, and if she gave the asshole one more compliment Banner was going to have to hate him out of principle. That would be terribly inconvenient seeing as how he’d promised himself the Kate thing wouldn’t affect their friendship.

  A man shouldn’t dread hearing from his best friend, but every time his phone rang lately, it got Banner’s hackles up.

  They were probably fucking like bunnies, and if Ambrose had figured out how to tap into her submissive streak, they had to be deliriously happy.

  “Are the eggs supposed to be smoking like that?”

  “Fuck.” Banner slid the ruined food into the compost bin and started over.

  Rook came around the counter and took the spatula from his hand.

  “Here, let me.”

  Silently, Banner handed the task over and sat on the counter.

  “You need to talk to someone. I know you don’t want to tell me what’s going on, but you’re a mess. She was hot and awesome and you hooked her up with Ambrose. Dumb move, but whatever, it’s your choice.” Rook flipped the eggs, then put bread in the toaster. “What you’ve done here is end things with a girl you’re crazy about and make it so that you can’t cry on your best friend’s shoulder.”

  “What do you suggest I do, then, Dr. Clarke?” Maybe the kid had been spending too much time with his therapist.

  “Seriously? You’re asking a fourteen-year-old gay kid for his opinion on your hetero, twenty-something love life. That’s pretty sad. I’m in love with a guy. I’m probably not your best bet for advice.”

  When the toast popped, Banner buttered it, and Rook slid the eggs onto the plates. They were a well-oiled machine.

  “I can tell you’re not sleepi
ng.” Rook shrugged and handed Banner a fork. “I think you need counseling.”

  “To forget a girl? This happens to people all the time. I just need to get over it.” He salted his eggs under Rook’s watchful eye. Too much salt would get him a lecture.

  “Not to get over her. To figure out why you think you’re not good enough for her.”

  Banner’s mouth hung open, waiting for the next bite of egg, which had stalled partway to his mouth.

  He thought back through his time with Kate. He’d sabotaged things on purpose, for her, but was there something to what Rook was saying? Sure, his father had been all business, and his mother rejected him, but he was okay with that, right? He was a successful businessman with loyal friends and an awesome brother. People liked him.

  So why was it he was still single?

  He had sexual needs that were intense and specific, but other people managed to find partners whose kinks matched well enough. He’d thought that he was at peace with himself and his proclivities, but maybe there was some shame there, underneath it all. A hard core of doubt that made him wonder if he should subject anyone to having to deal with his demands and perversions long term.

  Maybe there was something seriously wrong with him.

  Banner shook his head and kept eating. No sense in psychoanalyzing yourself while your eggs got cold.

  He looked up at Rook, who was watching him with a worried frown.

  “I’m okay. Quit looking at me like that.” He finished the last of his toast and took Rook’s empty plate to the sink. “Now, go shower and put on something nice. You’re my date for the art gallery this afternoon.”

  Rook got to his feet and laughed sarcastically. “Sure. Go hard with the distractions, Banner. You can try to hide all you want. I still see you.”

  ***

  A thump on his desk alerted Banner to the fact that someone had come in, unnoticed. When he looked up, Belle was standing there, and a steaming disposable coffee cup was sitting squarely in the middle of his workspace.

  “What?”

  “Hot chocolate. You will drink this now. Later I will bring you lunch.” She stood with her hands on her hips, her brow creased. Why was everyone looking at him like that lately?

  “You don’t need to babysit me. I’m a grown-assed man,” he grumbled.

  “You’re a grown-assed man with a broken heart. You’re lucky I didn’t bring you a tub of Häagen-Dazs.” She tapped her foot.

  “How is that lucky?” He smiled, and she smiled back, but the concern didn’t leave her expression.

  “When things ended between Gavin and me, you babysat me for months. Do you remember that?”

  He didn’t realize it had made an impression on her then, because she’d been such a mess. Gavin had been borderline abusive, so Banner was just glad she’d gotten through it okay. Luckily, things between Belle and Shannon were much happier and more loving. Belle deserved to be with someone who appreciated her.

  She came around the desk and hugged him. He sighed and let her. How did she always know what he needed? Guilt over the fact that she’d been carrying him at work for almost a month tried to crowd in, but hopefully the raise he’d given her let her know how much he appreciated it.

  From the doorway, Tanja cleared her throat. “Ambrose is here, Sir. He’s wondering if you’re in a meeting.”

  Tanja was covering for him, too, the longer she worked there. She’d lied to Ambrose for him about meetings a few times. Not something he was proud of, but self-preservation had kicked in. Ambrose talked so incessantly about Kate that it was obvious he was in love. It made Banner want to throw things at his head.

  He glanced at Belle, who let him go and grimaced. She knew something was up with Ambrose, but she didn’t need the gory details.

  “Tell him to come in, please, Tanja.”

  The girl nodded and headed back to the reception area. He braced himself for the Kate Fanclub meeting. Belle headed for the door, muttering something about cookie-dough Häagen-Dazs.

  Ambrose strode into the room grinning like an idiot and sprawled onto the chair across from Banner.

  “Where’ve you been hiding, dumbass? I’ve been texting you all morning.”

  “Meetings,” Banner grunted. “Don’t you ever work?”

  “I’ve temporarily handed most of my work over to Augustine. He needs to know how to run the company too.” Ambrose’s brother, only two years younger, was like a classier, more reserved version of Ambrose. He was more suited to being the financial manager, but Ambrose was determined to give the kid as much responsibility as he could handle.

  “What, in case you sprain your dick and can’t go in to work?” Way to fish for information you don’t want to hear, idiot.

  “Mmmm. It could happen, eventually.”

  “Not yet?” Fuck. It was like poking at a sore tooth. It hurt like hell, but he couldn’t help himself.

  “Actually, that’s what I came to talk to you about.”

  Of course. Damn.

  Ambrose got up and closed the door, then reclaimed his chair. Great. This visit just kept getting better.

  “I know it’s only been about a month, and Kate’s training has been going really well, but I think it’s stalled.” He scratched at his head. “She’s a dream sub, really. She does anything I ask her to without complaining. Sure, she brats sometimes, but you know I like that.”

  Visions of Kate giving Ambrose a blow job in the parking lot of the farmer’s market sprung to mind. He knew the two of them had a standing date to go there every weekend, not to mention the fact that they’d gone to almost every classy restaurant in town together.

  He should have taken her out on a date or something himself, when he’d had a chance. It was too late for that now. Hopefully, Ambrose was more of a gentleman with her than he’d been.

  Did he hold doors for her? Did he bring her flowers? Or did he finger fuck her while the waiters weren’t paying attention?

  “Are you okay?”

  “I think I’m catching a cold or something.” Maybe that explanation would cover the jealous heat he could feel creeping up his neck.

  “That sucks.” Ambrose grimaced. “So, she kneels like a pro, knows the positions I want her to know, walks at my elbow, makes good eye contact, pays attention to my cues.”

  Fuck, what was Ambrose doing with her? She wanted to be a submissive, not a slave.

  “I can imagine some of that went over like a lead balloon.” Banner tried not to look annoyed, but he really should have been paying closer attention to the girl’s needs. “Submissive, not slave. That’s why I gave her to you, remember?”

  “Yeah, that’s mostly stuff she learned from you, though, dickhead. I’m not usually that thorough with protocol.”

  She was still doing the things he’d taught her?

  “I saved you some work. What’s the issue?”

  Ambrose sucked at his even white teeth and leaned forward in his chair. “She’s not . . . fully submitting to me. You know what I mean? I can feel her holding back.”

  Traitorous hope welled in his chest. Maybe she didn’t like Ambrose as much as she had been saying.

  “She was doing that with me too. Maybe you’re not the right guy for her either.” They stared at each other in silence until it became uncomfortable.

  “So now you want me to give her to Konstantin to see if they hit it off?” Ambrose’s expression went bland. With him that meant angry.

  His guts twisted. Envy was making him say stupid things. “Well, no. I . . .”

  “Just because you’re lazy and self-centered, doesn’t mean I’ll give up on her too.” Ambrose said quietly. Fighting words. “Kicking a new sub aside because she doesn’t learn fast enough is cruel. Not the behavior I expected from you, of all people.”

  “It wasn’t like that!” Was that what Ambrose had been thinking? “I told you, she needs someone who isn’t as extreme. The idea of being a slave horrifies her. Would you force a girl you were in love with to try your
kinks if she wasn’t into it? Kate deserves more consideration than that.” He hated the way his voice had wobbled when he’d said her name, but maybe Ambrose wouldn’t notice.

  “She’s a grown woman. Why wouldn’t you let her decide for herself?” Ambrose grew quiet again, studying him. “You know what? I really like Kate. I enjoy domming her.”

  It knocked the wind out of Banner’s lungs. “I can’t listen to details. Please.” He held up his hands, and Ambrose glared at him.

  “It’s still early in my relationship with her. I’m not in love with her. Yet. And I doubt she’s in love with me.” Ambrose sighed and shook his head. “Why don’t you just talk to her and try to work this out? You’re being an idiot. What happened to your interpersonal skills?”

  “I’m not good enough for her,” Banner blurted.

  Ambrose’s brows shot up. “Whoa. Fuck. Where the hell is that coming from?”

  “Rook.”

  Several emotions registered on Ambrose’s face in succession. Mostly confusion and disbelief. “Your baby brother, the kid who idolizes you, said that you weren’t good enough for Kate?”

  “No. He said he thinks that was why I gave her to you. That I think I don’t deserve her. Maybe he’s right.” Banner wrapped his hands around the cup of hot chocolate and realized that his hands had gone cold.

  “See? Now that’s love talking. It’s a crazy, creepy love. But it’s love. You can work on your shit. She’s a patient girl.”

  Banner considered that, but the truth was his crap shouldn’t be her problem. She was a counselor, but it wasn’t fair to expect her to be his counselor.

  He struggled for words, but he drew a blank. “If you love something, set it free.”

  Ambrose growled in exasperation. He crumpled a piece of paper and threw it at Banner’s face. It bounced off and landed in his lap.

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake. You’re right. You are an idiot. You don’t deserve her.”

  Banner brought his hand up to his chest, feeling as though he’d been stabbed.

  Ambrose pushed his chair back, rose, and walked out.