Shake (The Club Girl Diaries Book 8)

by Addison Jane

Ham was a no-show.

  And it hurt.

  But I tried to remind myself I was with friends, and I had people who cared about me. Tonight, they would be the ones who had my back when I needed them, and I would forget about him. Forget about how he brushed me off. Forget about how he made a promise and didn’t follow through.

  Callie puffed hard, fanning herself before pointing at one of the tables that lined the room. “You girls want to get a drink and sit and chat for a bit?” she yelled over the booming music and grinding bodies.

  I looked at Emma who nodded brightly and eagerly agreed, the heat in the room was rising with all the moving bodies, and the pain of wearing heels was excruciatingly real.

  “I’ll be glad when I’m out of this place and can start somewhere new,” Callie commented as she sipped at her lemonade. “U of A, here we come!”

  My ears perked up, and I sat a little straighter. “You guys are going to the University of Arizona?”

  Asha and Callie both nodded excitedly. “Yeah, the boys, too,” Asha confirmed. “We’re gonna drive to Vegas one weekend a month. It’s going to be awesome!”

  A strike of jealousy swirled in my stomach.

  The University of Arizona was my dream college. It was important to me, more than just a place to study. It was where my grandparents had attended, where they had immersed themselves in college culture and been proud as hell about being a Wildcat. I still had some of their old gear. It was faded and worn, but it was all I had of them. Ever since I was old enough to know what college was, I’d sworn I was going to go there, and I was going to make them proud. I’d even applied and was accepted.

  “What college are you going to, Meyah?” Callie asked curiously.

  I cleared my throat, not wanting to answer. “Just Alabama State,” I answered shyly. It was still a good college. It had the classes I needed and the college lifestyle every new college student was excited to experience. And it was only a couple of hours from home—within my safety net.

  “Are you not excited about going?” Asha enquired with a frown.

  I smiled and shook my head. “Just hearing you talk about U of A makes me a little jealous. I really wanted to go there, and I got accepted, but it’s just… a little far, I guess.”

  “Something keeping you here?”

  My stomach twisted at the question. Was there something keeping me here? I was suddenly having this moment of independence where I wanted to be seen as an adult. Where I wanted to be able to make my own choices and be my own person, but I was too scared to go to a college—not just a college, but the college I’ve dreamed of for years—just because I might get a little homesick?

  Was it that? Or was it the thought of leaving a certain biker that I’d been obsessed with for over a year now.

  I was still angry. Still annoyed at Ham.

  But the idea of walking away and not having him around me most days for the next three years almost sounded like a prison sentence. It wasn’t just because we’d suddenly built this relationship—if you could even call it that—or because of how I’d let him in, let him touch me, let him inside me, it was more than just what things had developed into. It was about where they started.

  “I think it’s more like someone is keeping her here,” Emma commented, looking pointedly at me.

  I glared back at her. “It’s not just someone,” I argued, but even as the words left my mouth, I knew they sounded pathetic, even if they were truer than anything. Yes, I had these stupid teenage fantasies about Ham and me being together, but it was never just about me wanting him. It was more about just not wanting to be far from him. He made me feel different. Safe. Then there was my mom who wanted me to be closer and being the compliant and obedient child I was, I’d agreed. The only reason I’d even filled out the application for U of A was because Hadley had encouraged me to make sure I had options just in case some fell through.

  Because of my grades, I’d even been offered a place in a summer school program. One that wasn’t a compulsory paper for the degree I was going to study in psychology and counseling, but which could benefit my job prospects dramatically at the end of my degree.

  When I’d got the acceptance letter, I’d almost cried. Firstly, because I’d been accepted to the one place I’d dreamed of for years, and secondly because I knew I was never going to say yes.

  “Hey, you girls want to head out to the party soon?” Cab asked as he and Trent stumbled over to our table, the both of them grinning like Cheshire cats. They’d been coming and going as they liked, keeping their girlfriends happy, but no doubt wanting to have some time with their friends from the football team.

  Frowning, I pulled my phone from my bag and looked at the time. “It’s only 10:30 p.m.” Everyone was still dancing and having fun. It didn’t look like anyone was leaving anytime soon, and the prom was meant to go until 1:00 a.m.

  Callie’s eyes brightened, and a sly grin grew on her blush colored lips. “They’re announcing Prom King and Queen at 11:00 p.m. And I have it on good authority that we can all guess pretty damn easily who’s going to win despite having his asshole beaten by a girl.”

  They all looked at me, and I groaned. “Are you serious? He’s still going to win?”

  Cab nodded, his face also twisted in disdain. “Nick holds power because he can buy his popularity, and unfortunately, the majority of our student body fall into that ‘extremely fucking shallow’ category.”

  I’d believe it, and I knew that was why no one was ever on my side because it was never just Nick they were standing up to, it was all the people he could control. There was no way in hell I wanted to stick around and watch him have a crown placed on his bloated head and watch him wander around like he was fucking untouchable.

  “A party you say?”

  For a summer night, the air was strangely cold but still.

  Emma decided to stay for a little longer and catch up with a few friends before Eagle came to get her at midnight. The couple of hours we’d spent chatting with the girls had been fun, and both Callie and Asha had fallen in love with Emma’s sweet nature and never once joked or picked on the way she sometimes struggled to read people’s emotional cues and jokes.

  Us three girls cuddled closer helping to keep warm as well as keep our balance as we navigated the stairs, while Trent decided to take a chance on the banister, sliding half way before falling into the hedge on the other side. I couldn’t stop smiling, my cheeks were actually beginning to hurt.

  “How far away is the party?” I asked curiously, wondering if I should text Uncle Leo and let him know where I was going.

  “It’s at my place. It’s just a few blocks away,” Cab replied as he pulled Trent from the bushes. “My parents know I’m having some people over, so they’ll be there but scarce.”

  “I’m driving,” Trent mumbled, holding up his keys.

  My stomach instantly twisted, and I knew I needed to speak up, but I was struggling to find the right words.

  “Like fuck, you’re driving anywhere.”

  Both of the girls screamed grabbing my arms tighter while the boys twisted and turned, trying to figure out where the deep, ominous voice had come from. Suddenly, I seemed a lot more sober than a few moments ago.

  The large parking lot had cars scattered throughout and a few lights brightening the area, but the darkness around the building was pitch black, and there were plenty of little places for someone to hide. They might as well have been standing under a spotlight, though, because I knew exactly who was out there.

  “Nice of you to finally show up,” I sneered, my eyes searching the shadows, expecting to maybe to see the glare from the lights around us reflect off his leathers. “You’re a little fucking late.”

  It was his eyes I saw first, the sharp blue cutting through the darkness, the concrete scratching underneath his shoes. When the light hit him, I froze, not expecting to see the rough and ready tattooed bad boy I’d grown to love dressed in black slacks with complimenting shiny shoes I knew
he would have hated. His pressed white button-up shirt was unbuttoned at the top and tugged out of the side of his pants, the crimson tie hung loosely from his neck and even in this light, I could tell was a perfect match for the corset I had on. His sleeves were rolled up, and his arms folded across his chest, the take ‘no shit’ posture reinforcing the harsh and direct order he’d thrown out of the darkness.

  “Uhh… friend of yours, Meyah?” Cab asked, looking back at me nervously.

  I couldn’t blame him, Ham was intimidating as hell and not just because he talked a big game. No, he would back his shit up if he needed to, and I was finding it extremely hard at that moment to stay angry at him. Because all I wanted to do was run to him and feel those muscular, tattooed arms wrapped around me, his fingers in my hair, and his hand on my ass as he kissed the damn hell out of me.

  He watched me, his face a mask waiting for my answer, daring me to sass him by telling them I had no idea who the hell he was.

  The thought crossed my mind.

  “Yeah, my date.” I clenched my teeth.

  Asha and Callie held me a little tighter supporting me as my body shook, a mixture of the cold air and the anger building inside me.

  “You don’t want to know what will happen if you get in that car,” Ham announced finally, looking over at the boys. “I’ve been watching you two sneak out the back every half hour with your friends to drink your vodka and that nasty ass bottle of cheap rum.”

  I cringed. I knew the boys had had a couple of drinks. I could tell from the way they had slowly become a little looser over the night, but I hadn’t realized they’d drunk that much.

  Cab held up his hands seeming to be the soberest of the two. “We didn’t mean no harm, my house is just a couple of blocks away.”

  “Then fucking walk,” Ham growled, taking a few more steps forward.

  “We will,” Callie agreed, turning and mouthing the word ‘sorry’ before letting me go and rushing over to her boyfriend. “You’re a fucking idiot, Trent. I told you to wait until we got to Cab’s place to start drinking,” she scolded as she helped Cab pull him to his feet.

  It seemed almost like in the last five minutes since we decided to leave, he’d suddenly gone from slightly tipsy and happy to almost comatose.

  “Do you still want to come, Meyah?” Asha asked cautiously while holding me close to her.

  I couldn’t drag my eyes away from him. I was angry. Furious that not only had he stood me up, but now he was going to stand here and go all fucking alpha male on me in front of these people who had been my friends and helped make my night when he’d failed to do so.

  Ham’s eyes burned holes through me. They were threatening but not scary like he was a predator hoping I would run, so he could hunt me down and punish me. I refused to back down, not for one second allowing him to think he could hurt me like he had tonight, and then come in here and force his way back in.

  “I’m taking her home.”

  My eyes were burning, and I was fighting hard to keep the tears contained but also not willing to throw down in front of my friends, friends who I’d like to keep if possible without the biker I’m in love with scaring them away. I just needed to keep my composure for a little longer.

  Asha leaned in closely squeezing my hand in hers and lowering her voice. “I can see why you’d want to stick around and not move away,” she whispered playfully. “That boy is everything sexy and sinful, and he’s looking at you like there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make you his.” Her soft laughter warmed me a little and made me think that just maybe this night wasn’t a complete and utter failure. We walked to the bottom of the stairs helping each other balance precariously until we reached the bottom, and Cab held out his hand for her.

  Callie ditched Trent for a moment giving me a tight hug before tucking herself back under his arm. “We’ll see you at school on Monday?”

  I smiled and nodded. They all said goodbye, and I watched as they passed by Trent’s car and wandered out onto the street before disappearing around the corner. As soon as they were gone, I turned and walked in the opposite direction that would lead me through the school grounds heading in the general direction of home.

  “Meyah!” Ham called as I stomped down the pathway between the gym and the school office block tripping on my six-inch heels and almost face planting onto the concrete path. I caught myself, grabbing my sheer lace dress in my fists and hiking it higher so it wouldn’t hinder my large, angry strides. “Meyah, get back here!”

  The sharp order had my spine steeling, my body freezing on the spot. It was pitch black. There were no lights within the school grounds, but that just made the view of the street even more spectacular. It was lined with cars, loud thumping music, and the laughter of three hundred teenagers filled the streets of our small town as we celebrated our senior prom. Our big send off. Our ‘this is it’ moment.

  A couple of weeks left at school and then after this summer, we’d start dispersing across the country, attending colleges, relying on scholarships to pay for our dorms, and living on ramen and anything else we could microwave. For most of us, it was a rite of passage, one that a lot of teens before us had taken on their journey toward adulthood. One that I was looking forward to, more right in this moment than it had been just a few hours ago.

  Leaving Athens was a decision which had haunted me for the past year. I’d spent months fighting with myself about where I should go to college, driving myself crazy with pro and con lists. The college of my dreams was in Arizona, a six-hour flight away from home, from my mom, the club, and from him. Those were the cons. They made me sad, and scared. They made me reconsider whether I was ready for that.

  The pros though?

  I would be a six-hour flight away from home.

  From my controlling and overbearing mother.

  From the club and the danger that seemed to follow them.

  And from him—the boy standing so close at my back right now, so close I could feel his hot, angry breath on the nape of my neck.

  He was pissed, I could tell from the feeling of his energy which surrounded me. And you know what? I just couldn’t find it in me to fucking care right now.

  I spun around dropping my dress, so it swished around my feet and met Ham eye to eye. Well, almost, given that over the past year or so he’d grown to over six-foot, and was no longer the boy I remembered. “What are you even doing here? What do you want?” I snapped, narrowing my eyes and trying to swallow back enough emotion to hold off the tears. I was sick of crying in front of him and sulking and telling him all these problems like I was some little girl. I wanted to be stronger.

  “I want you to stop stomping away from me like a damn spoiled brat, and fucking listen to me,” he growled, reaching out and grabbing my wrist tightly.

  “Don’t talk to me like that,” I ground out through clenched teeth. “Don’t speak down to me like I’m a child.” I tried to pull my hand from his grasp, but all he did was come closer with every tug. I soon found myself backed against a wall, tucked into the shadows of an entranceway which would usually lead to the corridors of the science department, but the doors were locked tight.

  He took my hands and pinned them above my head dipping his mouth, so it brushed against my ear. “Then maybe you should stop acting like one.”

  There were voices, laughter, students with the same idea as we’d had—leave early, go and party somewhere else, where there weren’t teachers and rules.

  I struggled against Ham as they seemed to come closer, deep voices, and the light chatter of girls mixed with the clip of their heels against the road that was no more than twenty feet from where we were standing, but we were shrouded in darkness. I doubted they could see us as they passed by, but with the way my heart was thundering, I swore they’d be able to hear it drumming against my chest.

  His lips found my neck, and I gasped. The group of people stopped and looked over at us. I wanted to run, my cheeks burning, knowing if they came any closer we’
d be caught out, dreading the rumors which would spread through the school within hours.

  Ham, though, kept his body pressed against mine, not allowing any movement or escape, his mouth slowly tormenting me as his lips danced over my thrumming pulse. He had me pinned, and with the anger rushing through my veins at that moment instead of me wanting to push him off and clock him in the nose, I was getting hot, my body betraying my mind.

  The teens soon brushed off what they had heard and continued down the road to the parking lot on the other side of the school. With the immediate danger subsiding, my self-preservation kicked it.

  “Are you done?” I hissed, wiggling my hips.

  “Not even fucking close,” he retorted darkly in my ear. My body shuddered in response. “You almost got in a car with a drunk driver, Meyah.”

  “I wasn’t—”

  He let go of one of my wrists slamming his palm against the brick wall behind me, causing me to stand a little taller. “Don’t fucking bullshit me,” he warned, the tone of his voice one that screamed at me not to argue. “If I hadn’t been there, you possibly could have gotten in that car and then who fucking knows what could have happened.”

  I finally tugged my other hand from his grasp and shoved hard against his chest with enough anger to force him to take a step back. “But you weren’t there. You fucking disappeared. No word. No nothing for days.” I couldn’t stop the tears now. But they weren’t woe-is-me tears, they were fuck you tears. “Maybe the last couple of weeks didn’t mean shit to you, but they meant something to me. You mean something to me. So how dare you think you can just up and leave, and then appear out of nowhere and expect me to respect and listen to what you have to say. Respect goes both ways, Hamlet.”

  I refused to let another person hold me down or treat me like I wasn’t worthy of having an opinion or a choice. He was meant to be different, he was meant to hear me, to push me to be who I wanted to be. He was meant to have my back.

  I didn’t even have time to brace myself before he came at me, his hands going straight to my ass and lifting me off the ground before forcing my back against the wall with a thud. My arms hooked around his neck, and my legs tightly gripped his waist, not exactly happy about the idea of landing on the hard, concrete ground. I should have been scared, the darkness in his eyes telling me maybe I’d pushed him too far. And when he spoke, I suddenly knew why.