Like Mind

by James T Wood

  “Handy,” I muttered to myself.

  While I waited for Anka and Grosskopf to join me I shed the HazMat suit. It had helped me in a desperate time, but I wasn’t very grateful in the way I tore it off. I sincerely hoped to never have to use one again. It might protect from external toxic chemicals, but the internal smell of sweat, body odor and farts made anthrax seem appealing.

  Anka stepped through the door a few moments later. She looked at the agent on the ground and then up at me to see my bleeding nose.

  “Did you have another seizure?”

  I stared at her for a moment, “No! I did not have another seizure. I had to fight that giant man over there and he punched me in the face.”

  “Okay, I was just checking.”

  I couldn’t stop muttering under my breath as Grosskopf joined us in the stairwell, something about how Anka didn’t think I could fight and she wanted to put diapers on me like a little baby so she could feed me a bottle at nap time. Or something like that. I’m pretty sure Anka didn’t hear most of it, which is a good thing.

  She led us down the stairs toward the lab level. I hadn’t seen it on my way up from the main level where the secret entrance led me. We descended under Gas Works Park in the eerie red light of the emergency system and to the sound of the wailing klaxon. I felt a little like Captain Picard and I’d just called a red alert. Engage.

  When we got to the bottom of the stairs, Anka pushed open the door. We started to go through when I paused.

  “Don’t we need to prop this open?”

  “Oh yeah,” Anka laughed at herself in embarrassment.

  “Here,” I took off my shoe and wedged it into the doorway.

  “Thanks. That would have been bad. We would have been trapped down here.” She laughed again.

  “No worries. I’m happy to help.”

  I followed them with my one-shoe, one-sock strut. They found the neuroscience lab and walked in. I paused for a moment to reflect on how we’d just infiltrated a top-secret facility with my super powers. Maybe they’d make a comic book out of me.

  I was startled when Anka shook me. I had no idea how long I’d been standing there, but she looked worried.

  “You coming?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I’m coming.”

  We went into the lab together.

  Treatment

  It was odd seeing Grosskopf in his element again. Even though it had only been a few days since I last glimpsed him in a lab toying with the brains of innocents, his mouth-breathing manatee face appeared almost wise in the confines of a laboratory. All of the cowering, questioning and nearly dying from gunshot wounds didn’t really help him to project a powerful presence. I’d nearly forgotten that we actually needed him for this mission. He’d sort of faded into a tag-along puppy dog in my mind. Now my life depended on his ability.

  That sucked.

  Just inside the door of the lab I stopped again. The huge fMRI machine dominated the center of the lab. It stood there behind, what I’m guessing, was leaded glass. The cost of having a shielded fMRI machine behind a wall of glass was a bit staggering to me, but I guess it shouldn’t surprise me since I was in an under-ground super-secret spy base with henchmen and secret entrances. You couldn’t make up this kind of stuff.

  Along the walls not filled with a giant magnetron were rows and rows of computers with monitors and gizmos attached to them. Remember, I build computers for a living. I know what most pieces of technology are. This room had stuff I’ve never seen or even heard of. Sure, I was able to identify the centrifuges and I’m pretty sure I pegged the autoclave, but after that it was all buttons and blinky-lights.

  “We need to get you into a gown,” Anka took my hand and gently led me to a door next to the fMRI machine.

  “Uh…” was about all I could manage to say.

  Anka looked worried. She took my arm and glanced over her shoulder at the doctor. I shuffled along beside her happily. Once we got into the anteroom, Anka pointed me toward some flimsy gowns.

  “You need to take off your clothes and put on a gown. There’s no metal allowed in the fMRI.”

  I just stared at her lips moving. I heard the words, but they didn’t really register until I repeated what she said, verbatim, in her voice. It was tough for me to fight through the fog in my mind. I realized that something was wrong, but I didn’t have the mental powers to figure out what it was.

  “Doctor!” Anka called out.

  I repeated her cry for help.

  “What?” came from the other room, “I’m busy.”

  Somehow I even managed to replicate the far-off sound of Grosskopf’s voice as I mimicked his words.

  “Something’s wrong. You need to get in here.” Anka’s voice cracked as she said the last part. Mine did too.

  In a moment Grosskopf was in the room with us.

  “Why isn’t he changed yet? We don’t have much time.”

  I understood what he was saying when I finished the words. For some reason I wasn’t moving, but I couldn’t figure out why.

  “He’s just repeating everything I say.” Anka held my hand to her chest.

  I did what she said.

  “Damn. We’re almost too late.”

  What? Too late for what? My brain struggled to process the words once I’d said them. They wouldn’t stay. They just kept flittering away as soon as my lips were done moving.

  “Too late for what?” Anka read my mind.

  “He’s degenerating. He’s losing the power to do anything on his own. If I don’t get started soon he won’t even be able to breathe on his own. He’ll have to watch someone else do it.”

  I repeated back the whole explanation. For an agonizing moment it was clear to me, then the fog crept in again.

  “Get him changed and into the machine. I need to get the injection ready so his neurotransmitters get back to proper levels.”

  I willed my limbs to move as soon as I understood what I needed to do. I strained mentally to lift a house, but my body remained slack. I was probably only still standing because Anka and Grosskopf were. The doctor hurried out of the room and I moved to follow him. Anka pulled on my captive hand, but I kept walking as long as I saw Grosskopf. When the door fell shut, I stopped moving. I wanted to move my head to look at her, I wanted to speak comfort to her, but I only stood there.

  Anka came around and stood in front of me. Her tears became mine. But I saw light and purpose behind her fear. Deliberately she reached down and took off one of her shoes. I exactly mirrored her and removed mine. She took of the other shoe. I made the same motion, but had no second shoe to remove. A part of my brain saw where this was going and wanted it to be in a different context altogether. It’s a real turn off when you’re a mindless puppet about to die.

  She undid her skirt and let it fall to the floor. I mimicked her and my pants stayed firmly in place. The difference between female and male clothing nearly thwarted her plan. I saw her frustration, but then she reached down and grabbed the bottom of her sweater. I gripped my shirt and we both lifted. I guess she took hers off. I just lifted mine up until it covered my face and then I stopped.

  I felt her hands tugging and lifting my shirt from my face. I wanted to help. I tried to help. No memory of how to take off a shirt remained in my mind. I was frozen. Until the moment she pulled the shirt from my arms and, stretching on her tiptoes, off of me. Again, I wished that her nearly naked body pressed against mine could have been in any other context except for this one.

  She bent down to work on my pants and I bent down too, nearly knocking her over. I could tell she was getting frustrated, but she kept going. She put one hand over her eyes and the world went away when I mirrored. I felt the pulling and tugging at my waist like it was happening to a stranger. I was wrapped in a cocoon and protected.

  Anka pulled my hand away and I found her facing me with a gown held in one of her hands. She’d placed a gown in my hand without me knowing. I matched her, move for move, as she slid her arms through
the sleeves of the gown. She turned sideways, so did I, and I could see her hands working the tie at the back of the gown. Just before it closed I saw that she was wearing thong underwear. A slight tingle down south was the only hint that my body could do anything independently. I tied my gown and then matched her pace as we walked back out into the fMRI room. She walked us until we were both standing next to the bed that fed into the gun barrel of the machine.

  Again she covered her eyes and took my sight. I felt myself move and change orientation. Time was nothing to me when my sight was gone. I was in a world of fog and fading memories. The part of my brain still able to form coherent thought faded further and further. I feared what would happen when it disappeared completely, but then I stopped caring. A faint burning sensation started in the middle of my chest. Something seemed slightly wrong about it, but I didn’t have the will to do anything about it.

  Anka pulled away my hand and I saw her breathing deeply. My lungs filled with air. I saw her breathe and did the same. If she stepped away I stopped breathing.

  “Doc! He’s not breathing on his own anymore.”

  I called out an echo of her words.

  “I’m almost ready, just keep him going.”

  The sense of dread in Anka’s voice felt far different from the clinical detachment I felt when repeating Grosskopf’s words.

  She looked at me and breathed. I stayed with her, breath for breath, until the whirring of the fMRI machine signified a change. The doctor came out, and told Anka to block my view. I reiterated the instruction. She looked around for a moment, I tried to look too, but the table restricted my movements. She covered her eyes and then I felt a pressure on my waist. When my hand was pulled back, Anka was sitting astride me with her hands next to my face. She looked and me and breathed. I followed.

  I felt the doctor messing with my arm, but Anka was my world. That fading mote of consciousness liked it, told me that this was a good, good thing. I think my lips twitched in an attempt to smile.

  “Ok, I’ve done it. Move off of him now so I can start the machine and adjust the feedback loop.”

  I told her too.

  She leaned down to kiss me and turned her head to the left. I mirrored her. She turned, instinctively, to the right. I followed. Finally she just looked at me, took a deep breath and closed her eyes. I breathed deeply and the world went away, but I felt something warm and soft on my face. Then there was nothing. The sound of the fMRI machine dominated the world, became my world. Darkness and whirring noise. Nothing else.

  Stephenson Strikes Back

  I gradually became aware of the world around me. First was the feeling of cold metal under my body, then the sound of motors working and the odd, lurching feeling of the table moving underneath me. I tried to open my eyes, but I didn’t have the will. My body still would not accede to my commands.

  I heard her worried voice, muted by the sounds of the medical machinery.

  “Is he going to be okay?”

  “I really don’t know, I’ve never had a subject degenerate so far. But, I’ve also never had a subject survive so long.”

  I lay there thinking about those words. I might be okay and I might not. I took a deep breath to try and clear my mind. My lungs filled with air, but then my throat revolted. I coughed, a sputter at first and then convulsively. My throat and mouth were parched. It felt like I’d kept them open for days in the desert.

  As I recovered from my apoplectic coughing, Anka was at my side. I felt her warmth and heard her voice.

  “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

  I fought the urge to repeat her question and slowly formed words of my own.

  “Water.” Okay, just one word.

  “Get him some water,” Anka commanded Grosskopf.

  In a few moments they were holding me up and putting water to my lips. I still couldn’t force my eyes to open. Anka noticed the same thing.

  “Why won’t he look at us? What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know for sure, but it could be a defensive response. His brain was nearly overwhelmed by the mirror neurons’ input. Visual input is the most rich and powerful, so his brain might be shielding him until he recovers.”

  I tried again to open my eyes. I was barely able to get a crack of light to show through. It stabbed my head with pain. I must’ve gasped because Anka was right there cradling my head and brushing my temple with her hand. Why did the best moments with her also have to be the worst?

  “Do you hear that?” Grosskopf asked.

  “No, what?”

  “I’m not sure. Hold on.”

  I heard him walk out. Anka never stopped stroking my hair. I felt her lips on my forehead and then something wet dripped on my face.

  “The alarm is off. They must’ve discovered the drones and fixed it. We don’t have much time to get out of here.”

  “How can we? We can’t leave him here?”

  “If we don’t move, we’re trapped and we’ll probably be killed. Well, you two will be killed. I’ll be imprisoned and forced to work for them. People will just think I’m dead.”

  I swallowed hard and forced my eyes open just a crack. It was agony but I gritted my teeth and kept my eyes open. Words felt foreign on my tongue, but I forced them out.

  “I can make it. Help me up.”

  I saw Anka turn to me with a wide smile, but when she saw my face something made the smile fade. She warred with herself for a moment before helping me up to a sitting position. Dizziness threatened to overwhelm me for a moment, but the world slowly stopped spinning. I put one foot on the ground and then the other and pushed off of the table. Anka was next to me and helping me the whole way. I loved her attention and hated that she had to see this weakness.

  We walked over to the anteroom where our clothes were piled on the ground. Anka helped me out of my gown and handed me my shirt to put on. I slowly maneuvered the task that I’d been able to do for decades. We both decided that I’d need a chair to help me with my pants. I sat while Anka lined up my pants and then helped me stand to pull them up. I sat down while she put my socks on me. With a glance we decided that no shoes was better than one shoe and tossed the lone Chuck Taylor aside. I looked over to see Grosskopf in the doorway watching the procedure.

  “He’s going to get us both caught.”

  “Probably.”

  Anka turned to pick up her skirt and sweater and looked pointedly at the doctor. He didn’t understand her meaning for a moment so she just closed the door in his face before dropping her gown and putting her clothes back on. It encouraged me to feel my body’s response to her gorgeous form. Things were, slowly, getting back to normal. I just hoped that it would go fast enough for us to get away.

  “Do you think we can make it out the service entrance?” I asked Anka.

  “Maybe, but that’s all the way at the top of the facility. We’d have to make it through a lot of people to get out undetected.”

  “You think everyone is back in already?”

  “I don’t know,” she pulled on one boot, “But the more of the facility we go through, the greater our risk.” She pulled on the other and got up. “You ready?”

  Shakily I got to my feet and took a couple of slow steps toward her. She reached out to help me but I waved her off.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  “I hardly think that’s the case, but it’ll have to do for now.”

  We stepped out into the lab to see Grosskopf and Stephenson shaking hands. The ambulatory manatee looked back over his shoulder with an oh-shit expression and quickly ducked behind the director. He chuckled with the amusement of a parent for a child scared by a living scarecrow in a corn maze.

  “They were bound to find out eventually, Doctor.” Stephenson’s voice grated with smoke, liquor and age. His tall frame showed the signs of past strength faded to mere fitness. His face, however, was that type of anti-Dorian-Gray where every year added brought distinguished grace and handsome attractiveness. His well-tailor
ed suit added to the look of confident virility while the salt and pepper hair at his temples communicated sage experience.

  “How long?” Anka asked simply. My brain was still catching up with the turn of events.

  “Oh, I don’t know,” Stephenson smiled with his lips, but not his eyes, “Since the beginning? Maybe a bit before. Come now, Agent Fedora, you’ve learned much in your first assignment. Certainly you’re able to put together all the pieces by now.”

  “I think I am, Director.”

  “Good, I’d hate to have to take the time to explain it all to you like some sort of Bond-villain wasting time until the hero can enact a plan to escape.”

  “That would be so terrible for you.”

  I really wanted to scream out: I need you to explain it to me! But it didn’t seem like the most prudent move at the time. I looked around to see if we had any options. Grosskopf cowered behind Stephenson, looking at us over the taller man’s shoulder. Anka stood two steps in front of me and Stephenson blocked the door from the lab to the hallway. I stood just inside the doorway to the fMRI machine. There was no way out that didn’t go through Stephenson.

  One thing stood out to me though. The director was here alone. He’d sent men after us in the past, but now he was by himself apprehending us.

  “I guess you’ll have to take us into custody,” I said taking a few steps forward to stand next to Anka. “It’s been a merry chase, but you’ve beaten us. Let’s get this over with.” I put my hands out in front of me, ready for cuffing.

  It started slowly, the laugh of a man truly amused and deeply frightening, then it built until Stephenson was full-on, head-back, belly laughing. That’s what I thought.

  “Oh, you’re too funny. Custody. That’s a good one. No, there’s no custody for you. Sorry about that. We need the doctor, but you don’t really help us.”

  “How could I not help you? I’m proof of the work. Won’t Congress want to see evidence of your success?”

  “Pshh! Congress? What makes you think I’m working for Congress? No, this is far more profitable than anything Congress could offer me.”