A Kiss of a Different Color

by Bettye Griffin

  “I didn’t want to believe it. But Jon has always been square with me. He doesn’t believe in long-term relationships. Even though he did say he wanted to continue seeing me past the winter, I also know he’s a big believer in Fate. He probably just sees this as his cue to let things end between us.” Miranda choked back a sob. “I allowed myself to think, to really believe, that he would be willing to fight for us. Now I know it was all in my head, probably because that’s what I hoped would happen. He certainly never said anything to make me think anything has changed. And at the first sign of trouble he’s ready to discard me like a box of…stale saltines.” She turned earnest eyes onto her friend. “That’s why I’m just not ready to see him yet. I have to accept what’s happened. If I don’t, I’ll fall to pieces when we do meet in person. I might have lost face, Jae, but I at least want to hold on to my dignity.”

  Jon smiled. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Mormor.”

  “Don’t you worry. Your old Mormor isn’t going anywhere yet. Now, Nina told me all about your problem with Miranda. I want to know what happened. Have you two kissed and made up?”

  He picked up on the anxiousness in her voice and knew that his mother had shared more than just the details of Miranda’s not speaking to him. Funny how his mother, grandmother, and likely his sister all knew he was in love with Miranda, but Miranda didn’t.

  “No, Mormor,” he replied. “At least not yet. She’s not ready to talk to me yet.”

  “I don’t like the sound of that, Jon. The sooner you two sit down and talk, the sooner you can get this resolved. The longer it stretches out…” Birgitta left the thought unsaid.

  “It’ll be okay, Mormor. I promise. I don’t want you to think about anything except getting well.”

  “If she’s the first one you really care about, don’t let her slip away on account of something stupid,” she warned.

  “I won’t. Mormor, everything will be fine with Miranda and me. Why don’t you see if Sara needs any help with her love life?”

  “Don’t think I don’t plan to. She just told your mother that she’s been seeing someone new. I know your sister well enough to know that if she’s just telling us about him, she’s been dating him for a while now. But I intend to find out what the deal is.”

  Jon chuckled. “Okay, Mormor. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

  “You can count on it.” Birgitta hung up the phone. “Nina!” she called.

  Her daughter appeared in the doorway, her slim figure clad in jeans and a v-necked blouse, her hair pulled back into a pony tail stemming from the nape of her neck. “Did Jon hang up?”

  “Yes. Nina, I want to go to Bismarck.”

  “Of course. As soon as your doctor says you can travel.”

  “No. I want to go now. Tomorrow. Sara can run the studio while you’re gone.”

  Nina’s mouth dropped open. “Mor! Be sensible. You’re seventy-six years old and just out of the hospital. You haven’t even seen your doctor yet.”

  “I’ll call him and tell him I need to move my appointment up to tomorrow, so he can clear me. I want to be in Bismarck on Tuesday, Nina. I mean it. Ask Cliff if he’ll come with us and help you drive.”

  “Mor, please,” Nina begged. “This is insane.”

  “I’m not going to die on you in the middle of nowhere in the North Dakota prairie, if that’s what you’re afraid of. My grandson needs my help, since he doesn’t seem to know how to handle this.” Birgitta met her daughter’s eyes. “I’ll never forget being a little girl and watching the light go out of my mother’s eyes when it ended between her and the love of her life.”

  Nina sighed. “That was different, Mor. The only similarity with Jon and Miranda is—”

  “Yes, it was different for my mother. There was no way they could have been happy together, and she knew it. But she didn’t love him any less. She was still a young woman, not even thirty, and she’d had her heart broken twice, first by a husband, then by a lover. And nearly thirty more years of unhappy relationships with men awaited her.” A shadow crossed Birgitta’s face. “She was well into her fifties when she finally met Knut and got some joy out of life, got to feel appreciated as a woman. I’ve always been grateful that she had those years with him, but it was much too short. She died at just sixty-seven, after spending so much of her adult life feeling unhappy and unfulfilled.” Birgitta sighed. “My life didn’t work out so hot in that department, either. And now I have precious few joys left. I can’t smoke anymore. I have to watch what I eat…” She straightened her shoulders. “But this isn’t about me, it’s about Jon. I won’t let the same thing happen to him…so start packing.”

  Chapter 29

  The first thing Miranda looked at when closing the front door behind Jae were the two envelopes that she’d put on an end table in Chelsea’s living room. She walked to the table and picked them up. She was in no rush to open the one from the league. Jae had already told her how much money she’d gotten, and the same amount would be paid to everyone on their team. Maybe she’d treat herself to a day at the spa, with a manicure, pedicure, facial, and massage.

  She stared at Jon’s envelope, then explored it with her fingers. It didn’t feel like any more than one page.

  This is ridiculous, she thought. She finally tore it open, unfolded the unlined page, and began to read:

  Dear Miranda, I understand your being upset with me, but I think your avoiding me has gone on long enough. I want you to give me the opportunity to explain why I said what I did.

  Let me hear from you soon. If you don’t call me, I’ll be in touch with you by the middle of the week.

  Jon

  She breathed in deeply. Short and to the point, just like him. But how could he possibly justify telling Jeff to keep him on and to let her go?

  She decided she should talk to someone, a person other than Jae or Chelsea, both of whom she suspected felt sorry for her. Miranda considered calling Aislinn, but then decided to contact the person whose advice she would treasure the most.

  “Hi, Mom!”

  “Miranda! What a surprise, to hear from you so early. Usually you don’t call until you’ve gotten back from Jon’s.”

  Miranda pressed her lips together nervously. “Uh, Mom…I didn’t see Jon this weekend.”

  “You didn’t? Is something wrong?”

  “Everything,” she admitted, sniffling.

  “Oh, baby! Tell me what happened.”

  Pausing to dab at her eyes and nose with a tissue, Miranda told her mother everything, from the corporate policy that forbid her and Jon from dating, to their efforts to keep a low profile, and how they’d been reported after taking vacation together.

  Geraldine was silent for a few moments before speaking. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were putting your job at risk by seeing Jon?”

  “Because I didn’t want you to worry. The only reason you knew about Jon in the first place was because the only way I was getting home for Christmas was if he came along. I didn’t know how you’d feel about my dating someone who wasn’t black. I’ve never done it before. And let’s face it,” Miranda pointed out, “you and Pop are already worried about the remote possibility of Jon and I getting married and having children who will grow up, marry white, have children who will also marry white until there’s no traces of black left. If you had to reach that far to find something to worry about, I knew you couldn’t handle something real.”

  “All right, you may have a point. We made too much of it. But Miranda, at least listen to what he has to say.”

  “What could he possibly say to make this right, Mom? He was looking out for himself and left me out in the cold!”

  “That’s possible, but you’ll never know his side for sure unless you talk to him about it, will you? Miranda, listen to me. I’m your mother. I can tell you care about Jon very much. I’d go so far as to say you’re in love with him. Remember what I told you about your daddy, about how hurt I still am that he seemed more worried ab
out his car than he was about me after I had that accident? Well, this might be the situation where Jon put his foot in it. All men are thoughtless sometimes. But surely Jon means enough to you where you’ll want to hear him out, and then decide what you want to do. Besides,” she added, “it may turn out that there might not be a reason for your feelings to be hurt after all.”

  “I don’t believe that for a minute,” she said. “He’s already lost one job when it was discovered the woman he was having an affair with was his boss’s estranged wife.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes, Mom. She concealed her identity from him. Still, he obviously couldn’t stay at that job under those circumstances. They allowed him to resign. That’s when he took the job in Bismarck. He ended up getting a better position than the one he had before, so he landed on his feet. But I’m sure he doesn’t want to go through that again, and I think that’s why he offered me up like a sacrificial lamb.”

  “You should still hear him out, Miranda,” Geraldine said, although with less confidence than she had shown just minutes earlier.

  “All right, I will. But I think he should be the one to come to me. His note says he’ll call me Wednesday if he doesn’t hear from me by then. I’ll wait for him to contact me, but I promise you I’ll listen to what he has to say.”

  Miranda answered the phone and stated her name, as she usually did when she was at work.

  “Hello, Miranda? This is Birgitta Lund, Jon’s grandmother.”

  She struggled to find her voice to greet the last person she expected to hear on her office phone. “Mrs. Lund? What a surprise! How are you feeling?”

  “Much better. Miranda, I’m here in Bismarck, with Nina and her boyfriend.”

  “But you’re only a few days out of the hospital!”

  “I know, but my doctor said it was all right. They stopped the car every couple of hours and walked me like I’m a cocker spaniel.” Birgitta laughed. “I insisted on coming because I wanted to see Jon’s house before I die. Not that I’m planning on going anywhere,” she hastily added. “It’s just that a heart attack makes you more aware of your own mortality. I was hoping you’d be able to visit me here this evening.”

  “Mrs. Lund, I don’t know,” she said, hoping to dissuade the elderly woman. Miranda was fond of Birgitta, but she didn’t think this was a good idea.

  “I know that you and Jon are having an issue right now, but he’s going to work out at the gym, so he won’t be here. Nina and I will expect you at seven-thirty tonight.”

  Miranda felt trapped. She wanted to decline, but didn’t want to upset a woman who’d just suffered a heart attack. She didn’t want the responsibility of Birgitta clutching her chest and collapsing because she refused to come.

  “Seven-thirty it is,” she said.

  “Hello, Mrs. Lindbergh,” Miranda said when Nina answered the door. She had to speak loudly to be heard over Stormy’s barking. “It’s nice to see you again.”

  “Hello, Miranda.” Nina briefly embraced her. “It’s good to see you, too. Thanks so much for coming.”

  Miranda laughed as an enthusiastic Stormy jumped on her, nearly knocking her down. “Hiya girl,” she said, laughing. “It looks like you missed me. I missed you, too.” To Nina she said, “I tried to say no, but your mother wouldn’t hear of it.” She entered the house. It seemed strange to set foot back here, where she’d once felt so at home…

  “She can be very persuasive. Between you and me, I think she’s taking full advantage of her hospitalization to bully us into giving her what she wants.”

  Miranda nodded, her eyes darting about.

  “Jon isn’t here,” Nina said gently. “He went to the gym, just like Mor said. He brought my boyfriend with him, and he’ll be asking plenty of questions to keep them there a little longer.”

  “Is that Miranda?” The voice from the loft sounded slightly weak.

  “I’ll send her right up, Mor,” Nina called. “Go on up,” she said to Miranda. “I’ll bring you some fresh-squeezed lemonade in a minute.”

  “Thanks. I do feel a little thirsty.” Nerves.

  Miranda’s heart warmed at the sight of the gray-haired Birgitta sitting in the oversized brown leather chair in the loft, her feet resting on the matching ottoman. “Well, hello there! Am I glad to see you looking so well!” She bent to hug Birgitta and felt the older woman’s palm patting her back.

  “I’m so glad I could talk you into coming.”

  “You drive a hard bargain, Mrs. Lund,” Miranda replied with a laugh as she sat in a zebra print armless chair. She’d been with Jon when he spotted it on clearance at T.J. Maxx.

  Not wanting to linger on thoughts of happy times with him, she glanced at the television. Apparently Birgitta had been watching a movie about a disaster on a ship. Although it was in color, Miranda could tell from the slightly faded tint that it was not a recent release.

  “Are you enjoying Jon’s little log cabin?” she asked chattily.

  “Oh, it’s lovely. He’d shown us pictures of it, but they didn’t do it justice. This is my room.” Birgitta made a sweeping gesture of the loft.

  “Oh? I’m surprised Jon didn’t give you his bedroom.”

  “He wanted to, but I suggested that my daughter and her boyfriend sleep in there. This is just as comfortable, it’s just not private.” She laughed. “At my age, privacy in my bedroom is the last thing I need.”

  Nina appeared with two glasses garnished with sliced lemon and strawberry.

  There seemed to be something different about Nina, Miranda thought, although she couldn’t put her finger on it. “You really are looking well these days, Mrs. Lindbergh,” Miranda said.

  “Thank you, Miranda.”

  “She’s in loooove,” Birgitta teased.

  “Oh, Mor, stop.” With that, Nina returned downstairs.

  “She’s embarrassed,” Birgitta said.

  “There’s no reason for her to be.” Miranda was glad someone’s love life was going well.

  “It’s funny. Nina will be fifty-six soon. She’s about the same age my mother was when she finally met someone who made her happy.”

  “Oh. Did she remarry?”

  Birgitta shook her head. “No, she never did. But she and her gentleman friend kept company until she passed. Mor had the dance studio, he had his own holdings, and I think marriage would have just complicated things and worried their respective families about what they would inherit. So they were content with their relationship the way it was. They were together for the last ten or so years of her life. So she did get to have a happily-ever-after love story, just late in her life. When she was dying she used to say he was the only man who hadn’t left her.”

  “I’m glad she had someone special,” Miranda said quietly.

  “The women in my family have traditionally been unlucky in love.”

  Miranda didn’t know how to respond to that, so she focused on the action unfolding in the movie Birgitta had on. Apparently, a woman had been pinned under heavy equipment in an on-board explosion. A sexy, shirtless black sailor was helping the woman’s husband get her out in a race against rapidly rising water as the ship slipped underwater.

  “Hey, I remember that guy,” Miranda said. “Wasn’t he in Spartacus, with Kirk Douglas? I remember being a kid and seeing the Romans hang his body upside down after he lost to Kirk in the arena. I cried at the sight, and my mother assured me that his character was already dead and didn’t feel anything.”

  “Woody Strode wasn’t a big star, but he was an important figure in mainstream cinema,” Birgitta replied.

  “I think he played the cowboy who narrated that Mario Van Peebles Western, Posse,” Miranda mused. “They didn’t show him until the end. I think he was the older version of Mario’s character. He was pretty old then, though.” She giggled. “If I’d been young at the same time as him I probably would’ve been all over him like a cheap suit. He was very handsome.”

  “Yes, he was,” Birgitta agreed. “Very
tall, easily the same height as Jon. And so dignified. Nothing stereotypical about any of his performances, although I must admit just about every role he played involved taking off his shirt.” She laughed. “I guess Hollywood knew the women in the audience secretly lusted after him. But I remember him as being just plain nice.”

  Miranda’s eyebrows shot up. “You knew him?”

  “Yes. When I was a little girl and lived in Southern California. He was a football hero at UCLA who later integrated the NFL. Eventually he got into the movies.” Birgitta paused. “He and my mother had a relationship.”