Alaska (Sawyer's Ferry Book 1)

by Cate Ashwood

  I couldn’t wait to get back and forget this whole trip had ever happened. Well, most of the trip.

  I was in serious need of a pick-me-up. I picked up my phone and texted Frankie.

  Do you think my king-size bed will fit in your room?

  A moment later my phone rang.

  “You’re not bringing any of your shit into my cousin’s house.”

  “Afraid it won’t coordinate with that unicorn head you hung on your wall?” The pink head had been mounted prominently in the center of his living room wall like a hunter would display a deer, just with a lot more glitter. I knew he’d moved out of his place, but that thing was his most prized possession. No way it wasn’t in his room at Gia’s.

  “Don’t insult Priscilla. I don’t come to your house and trash-talk your shitty décor.”

  “Because my décor is tasteful.”

  Frankie scoffed and I could see him, hand against his chest, his face the very picture of shock. “How dare you. If my style is so tacky, maybe you’d be more comfortable finding someone else to stay with.”

  “Aw, come on. You know I love you.”

  “I’d know it a lot better if you took me out dancing at Heaven.”

  “Probably not in the budget anymore after this, unfortunately.”

  “Aww, babe. Sorry your life is taking such a mortifyingly horrific nosedive.”

  I laughed. “You sure know how to cheer a guy up, huh?”

  “You’ll be all right,” Frankie assured him. “Your dad is an ass, and it’ll be good for you to get out from under his umbrella of dickishness anyway.”

  “You’re not wrong, but it woulda been nice to get outta that umbrella with my trust fund intact.”

  “Yeah, you are a helluva lot less attractive now that you’re poor.”

  “Fuck you, Frankie.”

  I could hear him laughing, and I knew he had his head thrown back. No one thought Frankie was more hilarious than Frankie did.

  “I gotta run. Your dad is on a rampage today.”

  “Does he know I’m coming home?”

  “Nope. Thought I’d leave the honor of informing him to you.”

  “Gee, thanks a million.”

  “I do what I can. Talk to you later, sugarplum.”

  I hung up the phone and tossed it down next to me. I was trying to look at the bright side of this. I was young. Ish. I had most of my career left ahead of me. This was only a setback—albeit a major one—though it was better it had happened now and not years down the road. Forging a new path was going to be a challenge, but it was one I could certainly handle.

  That was something I’d need to deal with soon, but for now, for the next few hours anyway, I could try to put it out of my mind and get some rest.

  Just as I was contemplating how much I regretted this hotel wasn’t sketchy enough to have a bed with “magic fingers,” my phone rang again.

  “Just can’t get enough of me, huh? When are you just going to admit you’re crazy obsessed in love with me and get it outta the way?”

  “I got bad news and I got worse news,” Frankie said, the humor almost missing entirely from his voice.

  “Shit. Who died?”

  “Your will to live after I tell you that your flight tomorrow was canceled.”

  “What? Why?”

  “The blizzard. It hit Ketchikan worse than you. Just got the alert now.”

  “You can’t be serious. Alaska isn’t prepared for heavy snowfall?”

  “It’s not the snow, it’s the wind. No flights in or out,” Frankie said.

  “So that’s the bad news… what’s the worse news?” Dread knotted itself in my chest.

  “You’re stuck there for three more days.”

  Shit. I’d only been here three days. I didn’t know if I was going to survive another three.

  “What the hell am I going to do for three more fucking days in this place?”

  “I dunno. Go out? Meet people? Socialize and eat your way through the menu of whatever shitty bar they have in that place?”

  “You want me to leave this room? I don’t think so. I’ll freeze to death in seconds. It’ll be like that scene from The Day After Tomorrow where that guy freezes to death in seconds.”

  “I think you’re being a tad dramatic.”

  “This coming from the guy who threw his cat a quinceañera.”

  “She turned fifteen. How else are you supposed to celebrate a milestone like that?”

  “You’re the least Mexican guy I know,” I pointed out.

  “I’m not sure what you’re implying.”

  I shook my head. “Never mind.”

  “Go outside and walk around. It’ll do you some good not to be trapped in that hotel room for the next seventy-two hours.”

  “I can walk, but there will be no eating. Broke, remember? And oh, God, how am I gonna pay for this shitty hotel room?” The tension knotted tighter. “What are the chances Philip’s gonna let me off the hook for the last hundred grand of my debt repayment?”

  “About zero. But that’s not your problem right now. All you need to worry about is not freezing to death in the next three days, and in the meantime, check your account. I looked over your original contract and you’re entitled to a severance. I had HR put it through. The hotel is already paid up. You should be good for a little while.”

  I exhaled, suddenly feeling a huge wave of relief. “You’re an angel.”

  “Don’t I know it?”

  I hung up once again and walked over to peer out the small window. It was white. Just white. Everything was completely covered, and it was still snowing. Ugh. No, thank you.

  I closed the curtains and flopped back on the bed, turning on the TV and settling in to watch the marathon of Hitchcock movies playing on TCM. Hopefully the Chinese food place the guy had mentioned when I’d checked in delivered, or I was going to be raiding the vending machine for my dinner. Something told me the last time that thing had been stocked was sometime around 1982.

  Didn’t matter. I wasn’t fucking leaving this hotel until I had to.

  I needed to get the fuck out of this hotel.

  I’d been there, locked in a room smaller than my walk-in closet at home, for twenty-four hours. It was like the confined area made time bend, turning a day into a goddamn decade. I’d played so much Swapperoo that my thumbs had cramped, and as devastatingly handsome as Cary Grant was, he could only hold my interest for so long.

  So even if it meant my obituary would include the phrase “he just wanted a burger but froze to death in seconds like that guy from that Jake Gyllenhaal movie,” I stepped into my boots, pulled my hat down over my ears, pulled my coat tight around me, and headed outside.

  The snow was piled up high enough in some areas that I’d literally be balls-deep, so I stuck to the places that had already been hit by the snow plow, which left me with limited options… not that there had been all that many options to begin with.

  I waddled across the street and onto the sidewalk on the opposite side, careful not to fall on my ass on the ice. None of the shops and businesses looked interesting enough to venture into until I happened across a diner two blocks over. It was opposite Whisky J’s, tucked in between a hardware store and an accounting office.

  With plain brick, a wide window, and a blue awning mostly covered in snow, the Starlight Diner was nothing special from the outside, but I hadn’t eaten since the breakfast I’d made for Gage the morning before. I would have killed to get at a burger, so I pulled the door open and stepped inside.

  It was mostly empty, save for a few occupied tables. The walls were one giant mural; an enormous sun with food floating through space, stars and planets, and a couple of astronauts completed the look. It was bright and bold and honestly a little overwhelming after the bleakness of eternal white outside, but it also felt warm and welcoming, so I walked in and grabbed a booth at the side.

  It didn’t take long before the waiter came by, offering up two specials I couldn’t decide b
etween. In the end, I settled on the blue-cheese bacon burger and coffee. Lots of coffee.

  After one cup I already felt better. Staying holed up in a hotel room, cut off from the rest of humanity, wasn’t normal. Being out in the world with people was so much better, even if I’d had to brave the elements to get there.

  I sat back in the booth and glanced around, trying not to look like a total weirdo as I people watched. Most of the patrons were boring, and hardly anyone was speaking loudly enough to eavesdrop on, but there was a girl in the booth behind me and as I peered over the back of the seat, I could see her notebooks spread out across the table.

  “What are you working on?”

  “Studying for an exam,” she said, her bright eyes meeting mine. I could feel the stress coming off her.

  “Biology?”

  She nodded. “AP. It’s brutally hard.”

  I’d been there. I remembered with sweaty-palmed clarity how I’d felt before every single exam I’d taken at Hillcroft. “You want some help?”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “Anyone want anything else?” I’d already called in the order to Rosemary, but she was usually pretty good about add-ons. No one piped up, so I zipped my jacket and headed to my truck.

  My stomach was protesting that it’d been too long since I’d last eaten. I was scattered and off-kilter; the things I normally did without thinking felt like chores. I’d forgotten to grab my bagel on the way out the door, and by the time I slogged through the ice and snow to get to work, there was no time to find something before the first patient. It left me feeling cranky and out of whack, and missing breakfast definitely hadn’t helped matters.

  A busy morning in the ER meant this was the first time I’d taken a break all day, and I was desperately hoping a bowl of chili and jalapeno cornbread would unfog my brain and improve my mood.

  I pulled open the glass door and stepped inside to the smells of deep-fried potato and melted cheese. Rosemary nodded in my direction. “Be right there, hon. Your order just came up.”

  “Take your time.” As I spoke, someone turned and look at me, his eyes widening in surprise when he registered who I was.

  I knew how he felt.

  “What are you still doing here?” I asked, walking over to Holden’s table. “Weren’t you supposed to be on a plane outta here this morning?”

  My brain was racing ahead of me, wondering why he’d stayed. I’d come up with a thousand possibilities by the time he answered.

  “Stranded. The airport in Ketchikan’s grounded all flights, and I’m stuck here for another two days.”

  “Oh.” That hadn’t been one of the possibilities I’d come up with.

  I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I had wanted him gone, but the night he’d spent at my place had haunted me since the minute I’d dropped him off. I kept looping the sounds of him moaning over and over in my head. Even now, thoughts of how he’d looked, spread out and naked beneath me, were invading my head and I could feel the all-too-familiar rush of blood to my groin.

  Fuck. I would not get hard in Rosemary’s diner.

  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  Holden shrugged. “What can you do? It’s not like my return to New York was going to be celebrated with open arms. I was bored last night, but now I’ve found something to keep me occupied until I have to go.”

  Immediately, images of him with another guy flashed in front of me, and I couldn’t help the flood of jealousy that charged through me.

  “Caitlyn needed help studying for her exams. Seems I actually remember most of the shit I learned in bio, even though it was a hundred years ago.”

  It was only then I noticed the girl sitting with him. She looked familiar. I was sure I’d seen her around the hospital a few times.

  “Hi, Dr. Emerson.”

  “You two know each other?” Holden asked.

  Caitlyn smiled. “Just in passing. I volunteered at SFRH last summer. Thought it would look good on my college applications.”

  “Ah, yes. It’s nice to see you again.”

  “You too,” she said.

  “Caitlyn is going to be a surgeon,” Holden said with enough pride that if I hadn’t known better, I would have thought she was his daughter.

  “Is that right?” Normally, hearing someone wanted to pursue medicine would make me nostalgic of the bright-eyed optimism I used to have, but all I could think about was Holden.

  What the hell was wrong with me?

  “She’s gonna be one kickass surgeon. You should hear her. She already knows more than I do about physiology. She’s a genius.”

  Caitlyn blushed at Holden’s praise. “I don’t know about that.”

  The situation felt awkward, and I was torn between wanting to run out of there and pretend I’d never seen Holden at all and blowing off the afternoon to drag him back to my place.

  “Here ya go, Gage,” Rosemary said, carrying over two bags filled with Styrofoam containers. “I put in an extra piece of cornbread. I know how much you like it.”

  “Thanks,” I said, having a difficult time tearing my eyes away from Holden to properly thank her.

  “You wanna join us?” Holden scooched over in the booth to make room for me next to him.

  I held up the bags. “Don’t think the army of hungry people at the hospital would appreciate me holding their food hostage, but thanks for the offer.”

  I turned and walked away before I could change my mind. Because I did want to stay. I did want to slide in next to him and press my thigh up against his, to feel the warmth of his body next to me and spend the little bit of downtime I had talking to him.

  Instead, I all but ran out.

  “Dr. Emerson. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you look awful. Are you okay?” Dawn asked, her soft voice filled with concern.

  “I’m fine.” I tried not to snap, but it came out a little short anyway. It’d been hours since I’d left the diner, and the only thing I could think about was Holden. He filled my thoughts, and then I got angry because I just couldn’t fucking shake it.

  I never should have slept with him, never should have invited him into my home. I should have taken him my subzero sleeping bag and a couple of hand warmers and called it a night. He would have survived. Probably.

  But no. Instead, I’d seared him into my brain, and nothing short of a lobotomy was getting him out.

  “I’m fine,” I repeated, Dawn’s disbelieving face staring back at me. “Just a little tired today, that’s all,” I assured her.

  “Craig’s on his way in. He’s stopping at Cornerstones to pick up coffee for me before my next shift starts. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind grabbing some for you too.”

  “You’re on a double tonight?”

  She nodded.

  “Thanks, but I’ll be okay. I’m off in an hour, and then I’ll go home and crash.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  “I am. Thanks anyway.”

  I just had to get through the next sixty minutes without making any more mistakes, and I would be fine. I could concentrate for one measly hour, keep Holden outta my head for one fucking hour. But even as I had that thought, he was there again, and it pissed me off.

  By the time my shift ended, I was wound up and ready to snap. Thankfully there hadn’t been any patients requiring surgical intervention. I managed a curt nod at Dr. Alston as I passed her in the hall on the way to my truck, and thankfully I didn’t run into anyone else because I was not in the mood to socialize. I just wanted to get the fuck out of there as fast as humanly possible.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Seeing Gage at the diner had thrown me. I had been grateful for Caitlyn’s company after he left to keep me from overanalyzing and overthinking. But now I was back in my room, back in the silence of a totally empty hotel, just me and my buddy Hitchcock, hanging out and counting the minutes until my lives renewed on Candy Crush.

  I’d thought about going out, trying to find somewhere with decent food, but I was m
ostly still full from lunch and it was getting later. I wasn’t sure how long places around here were open, and the thought of risking the food from Whisky J’s again wasn’t exactly motivating me to venture out into the wintery night.

  Instead, I’d showered, hoping the steam would help me clear my head, but it seemed to have had the opposite effect. As I wrapped the towel around my waist, there was a loud series of bangs, and it took me a second to realize there wasn’t a four-car pileup outside my door. There was someone at my door. The knocks had sounded angry, and my heart rate kicked up a few notches.

  I pulled open the door to find Gage standing there, looking like a bull ready to run his horns through an unsuspecting matador.

  His eyes were dark, his shoulders tense, and all I could think was, please, God, let that matador be me.

  Before I could blink, he was on me. I heard the door slam somewhere in the back of my awareness, but everything else was taken up with Gage. In one swift move he’d torn the towel from my waist, leaving me completely bared to him, but I didn’t have a second to feel the chill in the room. His hands were rough and demanding, sending my blood rushing and my head swimming, but the way he kissed me like I was his. I couldn’t help the whimper that escaped as he pushed me back against the wall.

  My insides melted to liquid as he kissed me with a fierce hunger, his tongue in my mouth, his hands in my hair. His grip was tight holding me to him, unyielding, and when he slid his hands down to my ass and caught my thighs, I wrapped my arms around his neck. He lifted me, pinning me against the wall.

  I gasped, breaking our kiss as my bare skin hit the cold surface, but Gage didn’t slow down for a second. His mouth was at my throat. The sensation of his clothes against my naked skin made me shiver.

  “Gage,” I gasped, his name ragged with lust, and his lips came down on mine again. He devoured my mouth like it was the only thing keeping him alive.

  He flipped me around, walking me backward before dropping me onto the bed, and pinned me down, his cock hard against my hip. I shifted under him, trying to get closer, trying to line our cocks up. I wanted that pressure, the friction and tension and heat.