Alaska (Sawyer's Ferry Book 1)

by Cate Ashwood

  “First, you should probably call and cancel your flight. Again. And I’ll call Logan. We’ve got to get all the paperwork together to submit to the board.”

  All my plans hinged on what they said. They held everything in their hands—my license, my medical career, my whole future, really.

  Gage pulled me to him and planted a kiss on my forehead. “You look like you just found out someone shot your grandmother. It’s going to be fine.”

  I nodded, trying hard to believe him, but in the last week, everything I’d known to be true in my life had changed. The floor had fallen out beneath me, and here I was, wrapped up in the sheets of a guy I’d met all of a week ago, agreeing to potentially move to a place that felt like it was halfway across the world from my old life.

  And it wasn’t that I was moving for him. The way my body ached for him was a perk for sure, but he was one of a hundred reasons I’d made the decision to stay. To be honest, it felt a little like I was hiding out from my real life, like the prospect of going home and facing the consequences of my father cutting me out was too much to handle.

  “What are you worried about?” Gage asked, breaking through my solid effort at lamenting my problems.

  “Oh, I dunno. That the board will reject my application, that they’ll suspend my medical license for operating without one, that I’ll be fined some obscene amount of money and—”

  “I already told you there’s no chance your medical license is getting suspended. There will be no fines I swear.”

  “That’s good, because I only have like, seventeen dollars in my bank account as it is.”

  “Philip really cut you off, huh?”

  “Yep. He really did.”

  “That must sting. You don’t have savings?”

  I shook my head. “I have more than seventeen bucks, but not much more. Almost every penny I’ve ever earned went back into my father’s pocket. He footed the bill for my entire education, and so he has… had… me set up on a payment plan and my paychecks went directly into his account. I received a small allowance every month for expenses, but everything else went to paying off my debt.”

  Gage looked angry. “That’s an awfully tight leash he had you on.”

  “My father values money more than pretty much anything else. I was one of his investments, and an investment without a solid return is a bad one,” I said bitterly.

  “Your father isn’t the first to loan his kid money, but he might be the very first to go as far as redirecting your salary into his own accounts. Could he possibly be any more manipulative and controlling?”

  My stomach knotted. “No.”

  “I don’t know how you stood it, how you worked for him.” His voice was getting louder the longer he spoke. “I hate him for you.”

  I shrugged, not knowing what else to do. “My relationship with my father is complicated.”

  “I’d fucking say so.”

  “I’ve spent my whole life trying to live up to his expectations, but that effort made me a better person, a better surgeon. I can’t hate him for that.” I took a breath. This shit that was best unpacked in a psychotherapist’s office and not the bedroom of a guy I’d only known a week. “The short of it is that being a Prescott afforded me opportunities, and I’d be an idiot not to take advantage of them. Working at Westbridge was one of them. Yes, it gave him more access to control me than if I’d worked for someone else—and obviously, he took advantage of that—but the opportunity to run the surgical trials with a nearly unlimited budget wasn’t one I was going to turn down.”

  Gage seemed to lose some of his anger, and a brief moment of awkward silence fell between us. “I’m sorry. None of that is my business.”

  “No, but you’re allowed to have an opinion,” I said. “And it’s colored by your experiences with him, and I understand that. There’s a number of things about my father I’d change if I could. Obviously. But it doesn’t matter now. I’m out of Westbridge, and today’s the first day of my new life—one without my father meddling in it.”

  Gage smiled. “Soon enough you’ll be earning a regular paycheck like the rest of us schmucks. And if you’re low on cash, we can arrange for the hospital to give you an advance for now.”

  I laughed. “Oh yeah, and what if I can’t get licensed here? What if I can’t work at the hospital?”

  “I guess you’ll have to pay me back… somehow.” He cocked one eyebrow up.

  My stomach clenched with the thoughts of what he was insinuating. “How am I supposed to do that?”

  “I hear Only Dealz is hiring a bag boy.”

  “A bag boy, huh? Maybe me and my little apron can come up with another way to repay you the money we owe.”

  Gage shot me a crooked grin. “I’m not ruling anything out.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  For a guy with a little more than seventeen bucks in his bank account, Holden sure was a picky fucker when it came to apartment hunting. It wasn’t like Sawyer’s Ferry had all that many options for monthly rentals. He pretty much had his choice of cutting a deal with the owner at the inn—an option I vetoed without even asking—a little apartment over Cornerstones Tom owned, or Leslie’s basement suite.

  “There’s no closet in the bedroom,” Holden noted, his tone bordering on a whine as he walked out into the living room.

  “You don’t need a closet. You don’t have any stuff.”

  He opened his mouth to argue, but I cut him off.

  “And you’re broke, so you can’t buy any new stuff.”

  Tom didn’t look that impressed, doubly so once I’d made the money comment. I couldn’t blame the guy. It was the second time we’d been in to see the place, but Holden was flip-flopping on it.

  “And who knows if I’ll even have my application approved. We haven’t even sent it in yet. Doesn’t it seem like I’m jumping the gun a little with renting this place? What if the application is denied?”

  “It won’t be,” I assured him. “We’ll cross all the t’s and dot all the i’s. Logan and I are both pleading your case. It’s a foregone conclusion. We might as well take you shopping for scrubs this afternoon.”

  “I dunno,” Holden said for the fifth time. I wanted to kiss him and strangle him in equal measure. We’d spent the morning at Logan’s mom’s place, picking up the truck she’d been kind enough to lend to Holden while she was on a cruise through Europe. After that and now this, I was about ready to call it a day.

  “Sorry, Tom. We’ll go. I’m sure Holden will have an answer for you soon.”

  “I will,” he said. “I promise. I just need to mull it over.”

  Tom didn’t look impressed.

  I shook my head. “Just go.” I pushed him toward the door and followed him out.

  “What do you think?” Holden asked once we were out on the street. “Honestly?”

  A few days had passed since he’d announced his decision to stay in Sawyer’s Ferry, and apartment hunting had been his idea. The phrase “stand on my own two feet” had been thrown around, and who was I to stand in the way of Holden discovering his independence?

  I’d actually been slightly relieved. The few nights he’d spent at my place—in my bed—had been incredible. When he was naked and wrapped up in my sheets and his warm skin was pressed against mine, I couldn’t imagine him being anywhere other than right there, but that scared the shit out of me.

  Having Holden around all the time was fucking with my head. It was bad enough when I thought his stay was capped at a few days, but the idea of him staying for any length of time… It seemed… serious. And I didn’t know how I felt about serious. The way I felt about Holden—the intensity of the attraction that had built after only a few days—was overwhelming. And although his status as a temporary guest in Sawyer’s Ferry had been extended, it wouldn’t be forever.

  He was still leaving.

  I didn’t want to think about forever. It was way too soon for that, but the knowledge that it wasn’t even a possibility put major limi
ts on how much of myself I was willing to risk.

  And yet… I still wanted to make the most of that time he did have in town.

  “You can stay with me. If you want.” I’d made the offer almost without thought, almost as though my mouth and brain weren’t connected. But now it was out there, and there was no taking it back.

  “How much would the rent be?” he asked.

  “If I’d have planned on charging you rent, I woulda told you so.”

  Holden didn’t respond right away, seeming to consider it, and for a split second, I thought he was going to turn me down. The feeling of relief I’d been anticipating never came, and disappointment showed up in its place.

  Finally, he said, “I wouldn’t be taking advantage?”

  “I made the offer.”

  He huffed a reassured breath. “That would save me some money, and having some savings when I go back to New York would be good.”

  “Plus, there’d be someone else on the lookout for bears in the yard,” I added.

  He was staring at the ground, and I wasn’t even sure he’d heard the part about the bears. “It seems fast, you know? I mean, we’ve only been… well, whatever it is we’re doing… for a little over a week now and moving in together? That’s a lot, just—”

  Thank Christ we were on the same page. “Holden.” I stopped walking and grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to face me. “Who’s committing? Am I down on one knee?”

  “No, but—”

  “Then don’t be an idiot. I have a guest room. You’d have your own space if you want it. No ulterior motives.” Well, no motives to do anything he wouldn’t enjoy anyway.

  He ran his hand through his hair and kept walking. “Three months, though? That’s a long time for a houseguest. Isn’t there a saying about dead fish or something?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said, laughing.

  He shrugged. “I’ll think about it.”

  He didn’t think about it for all that long. Sitting at the Starlight Diner, waiting for two orders of fish and chips, Holden was uncharacteristically quiet. With the exception of relaying his order to Rosemary, he’d been completely silent.

  Until he wasn’t.

  Much in the same way he’d announced he was staying in Sawyer’s Ferry, he looked at me out of the blue and declared, “I’ll stay.” His announcement came at the same moment Rosemary was setting down our plates. He waited for her to walk away. “I’ll stay with you… if the offer still stands.”

  I let his words sink in, fleetingly questioning whether or not this had all been a terrible mistake. In the span of a week and a half, Holden had gone from the son of a man I hated, to living with me.

  Goddamn, it felt fast. But running through all the other possibilities of the way things could have gone down, this made the most sense. Rationally and emotionally, this solution checked all the right boxes for both of us. I just hoped I wasn’t getting in over my head.

  “Gage?”

  I hadn’t realized I’d been staring at my coleslaw and hadn’t yet given him a response. “Huh?”

  “I said I would stay with you. Is that still okay? You didn’t change your mind in the last two hours, did you?” He sounded suddenly unsure.

  “No, of course, you’re still welcome to stay.” I attempted a smile. “It’ll be nice having someone else around the house.”

  I was pretty sure that was the truth.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  “You can’t be fucking serious,” I shouted, gesturing wildly at the TV as the judges voted off my favorite special-effects artist on Face Off. Two days into officially living at Gage’s and I was starting to feel at home. The place had always been welcoming—well, except that first night—but now it was kind of starting to feel like my place too.

  I’d moved my stuff into the spare bedroom, though I had yet to spend sleep in there. The first night, things had felt a little strained. Over dinner, not a lot had been said, but at the top of the stairs, as we were heading to bed, Gage grabbed me and kissed me, and it was as though we had suddenly remembered how well we worked together, in one arena anyway.

  Since then, things had felt a lot more natural. He’d left for work that morning, and I was enjoying the last of my time off before I, supposedly, started work.

  I was about to flick to another station when a knock at the door had me whipping my head around toward the sound.

  Who the hell could that be? Gage was at the hospital, there wasn’t a neighbor for miles, and as far as I knew, and Gage’s social circle was practically nonexistent. Another knock came, more insistent this time, so I walked to the door and pulled it open.

  Logan stood on the doorstep, his teeth chattering.

  “Where the hell is your coat?” I asked, staring at him like he was an idiot.

  “Forgot-t-t it. Mind-d-d if I c-c-come in?”

  “Shit. Yeah. Sorry.” I stepped out of the way to let him enter, then closed the door behind him. “Gage isn’t here. He’s on call today.”

  Logan laughed. “I know. I have the day off… and for now, he’s the only other surgeon around.”

  “Oh. Right. Sure.”

  Logan dumped his boots in the front hall and strode into the house like it was his own. I followed him into the kitchen, where he tossed an envelope onto the counter; then I watched as he put a pot of coffee on.

  “How are you settling in?” he asked, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard. “Ready to run for the hills yet? I know what a pain in the ass Gage is to live with.”

  “Hasn’t been too bad so far. We’ve been getting along.”

  “I’ll bet.” From his suggestive tone, I was beyond sure Gage had given him more than the surface details of the nature of our relationship. Whatever that was.

  I sat there, waiting for Logan to fill me in on why he’d dropped by. I figured it probably wasn’t a social call. He was a nice enough guy, but we weren’t the type of buddies that hung out for no reason. Maybe one day, but for now, he was the friend of the guy I was sleeping with, and standing around in the kitchen with him was beginning to take on a decidedly awkward hue.

  “I brought all the hospital paperwork for you to fill out—banking information, emergency contact, that kind of thing. I also brought a copy of the letter I sent to the board on your behalf. I figured you might want to read it.” He poured two cups of coffee and set them on the table, then opened up the envelope he’d brought and pulled the paperwork from inside.

  “Wow. That’s… that’s seriously nice of you. You didn’t have to drive all the way out here, though. I’m sure Gage could have brought copies home with him.”

  “Nah, it’s okay. I didn’t have anything going on today anyway.”

  “Well, thanks.” I had to admit, I was a little intrigued by the letter.

  Logan shrugged. “Call it a professional courtesy.” He slid the letter across the table to me and sat there staring at me while I read it. I felt like an amoeba under a microscope… if an amoeba was capable of feeling self-conscious.

  The recommendation was absolutely glowing, and I didn’t know if anyone had ever said anything as positive about me in my life. I looked up at him once I’d finished, and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t know what to say. I settled on “Thank you.”

  He smiled. “Don’t sweat it. It’s the truth.”

  I laughed. “Not sure about that. You’ve only seen me do one surgery. Maybe that’s the only thing I know how to do.”

  “Unlikely. I watched the video more than once. Your technique is flawless.” He took a slow sip of his coffee like he was deliberating on whether or not to expand on that. He set his cup down and smiled. “You might be better than Gage, but I’ll kill you if you tell him I said that.”

  “I sincerely doubt that, but thanks anyway.”

  “Dunno. You have a few years to catch up to where he is chronologically, but I’d say you’ve got a head start over him, at least where he was skill-wise when he was your age.”
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  “You’ve known him forever, right?” I asked, cocking my head to the side. I didn’t know why it hadn’t occurred to me until now that I could dig for information. I didn’t want it to be too obvious, but the prospect of getting some dirt on Gage was more than a little appealing.

  Logan grinned like he knew exactly what was going through my head. “Not forever. Since undergrad. We ended up in the same dorm. My roommate was convinced he was the next LL Cool J… and he wasn’t quiet about it. Gage’s room was next door, so I ended up there most of the time.”

  “He make it big? Your roommate?” I asked, leaning forward, waiting to hear about how he’d actually been living with Eminem.

  “He was the worst rapper I’ve heard in my life.”

  “So that’s a no.”

  Logan laughed. “Nope. I imagine he’s living a perfectly mediocre life somewhere in Montana or Idaho or something.”

  “And you ended up here.”

  “Is the ‘also living a mediocre life’ implied?” he asked, one eyebrow raised.

  “No.” I chuckled. “Should it be?”

  “Maybe. I keep busy with work, and that’s mostly it. Gage and I hung out every once in a while before, but now that Diana is outta commission, when I see him in the parking lot at the hospital is pretty much the only time we spend together.” He leaned back in his chair and stretched his legs out. “It’ll be nice when you start and can pick up some of the slack. We’re gonna burn out pretty quick without another set of hands.”

  “Two weeks, right? Theoretically? To process the application, I mean.”

  “Yep, and then I get to hand off all my shitty cases to you.”

  I chuckled. “Great. Low man on the totem pole again.”

  “Were you ever the high man?”

  “Touché.”

  I grabbed a pen and filled out the paperwork. It felt a little premature, considering we had yet to hear back from the board, but Logan seemed confident they would rule in my favor. It eased my mind, a little. Gage had said the same thing, but in the back of my mind, I’d held on to the assumption that his opinion was a little biased.