Perfect Trust argi-3
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I shook my head quickly and answered her as best I could. “Yeah. I’m listening… I’m fine.”
“You could’ve fooled me.” She furrowed her brow as she looked at me.
“Sorry.”
“That’s okay, I guess. As long as you aren’t actually expecting me to wear a dress tonight.”
“No. Not really,” I told her and then offered a weak explanation. “It just must have been that whole massage conversation. You got me all worked up and so my mind started to wander.”
“Uh-huh. More like went on an extended vacation. So it’s all my fault, then.” She wasn’t angry, but she wasn’t convinced either. She shrugged and cocked her head to the side. “Okay, since we’re on the subject, what are you going to wear tonight?”
“The usual, I guess,” I answered.
“The usual?”
“Yeah. Whatever you tell me to.”
CHAPTER 16
“Be it known to all that no one is here but of their own free will,” Felicity spoke aloud, raising her voice slightly in competition with a cold wind that was sighing through the leafless trees which surrounded our large back yard. “Those wishing to be in circle please join hands, left palm up, right palm down, and take a moment to ground and center.”
We hadn’t yet had any snow to speak of. A flurry or two here and there, but nothing that stuck around for any length of time. Now with the temperature still above freezing, it was looking very much like we were in for an “earth tone” Christmas a few days hence. Even so, the night was chilly enough that my shoulder was already starting to ache, and we’d only been outside for fifteen minutes. I suppose there had been only just so much that could be done to repair the joint after my encounter with Eldon Porter, so I figured I’d better get used to it. Still, I was starting to regret not donning a heavier coat.
We were all standing in a loose circle on our deck-Me, Felicity, Ben and his wife Allison, and a small group of Pagan friends. We surrounded a portable, outdoor fireplace that had been positioned on a wide bed of fireproof bricks and then stacked with carefully arranged kindling that consisted not only of dried sticks but of pinecones and a remnant of the previous year’s Yule log as well.
Felicity and I were actually solitary practitioners of The Craft and didn’t belong to a particular coven. Truth was we rarely held ritual with anyone other than ourselves, and maybe a cat or two present; however, this was a special occasion. Of the eight generally accepted Pagan holidays scattered about the wheel of the year, this was the final one before beginning the cycle anew. Though labeled as a minor Sabbat, Yule was without a doubt a holiday of immense importance and a celebration that literally demanded the camaraderie of close friends. Ben and Allison were the closest friends we had, and those in attendance besides them fit the description perfectly as well for they had become an integral part of our lives over the past year or so.
R.J., Cally, Randy and his wife Nancy, and a bubbly pair of identical twins named Jennifer and Shari-who had a proclivity toward finishing one another’s sentences-were in some ways our adopted children. And it wasn’t necessarily because they were all several years younger than us. The primary factor was really the horrific circumstances under which we’d met-a turn of events that had moved us to, for all intents and purposes, take them in like strays. They had been the core group of a fledgling coven that had been formed and led by Ariel Tanner-an old friend and former student of mine back when I’d endeavored to instruct others in The Craft.
Ariel had met a gruesome end to her own young life at the hand of a sadistic serial killer, and through my connection with her I’d become deeply embroiled in the investigation. In the process, Felicity and I had befriended the leaderless young neophytes, and soon we had taken them under wing in order to provide some of the guidance that can come only from age and experience. It had been rewarding, though trying at times. Still, a strong bond was forged, and they would forever be a part of our lives.
Eight of us formed the relaxed ellipse with Ben and Allison standing quietly outside the group. Everyone had been in agreement, and we had made it clear to the couple that they were perfectly welcome to join us in the circle but that they should feel no obligation to do so. While Ben was far less a skeptic than he’d been in the past, it was obvious that he felt somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of being a part of the ritual. However, the two of them were curious, and since everyone else was fine with having an audience, they were content to watch from the sidelines as we proceeded through the simple rite.
“I don’t suppose I need to ask if everyone is grounded, now do I?” Felicity asked on the heels of her own musical laugh. “This is feeling way too good.”
Quiet chuckles and stifled laughs elicited from the small group. Being an eclectic, non-traditional group, we tended to practice in an informal, freeform fashion, and at times the steps of a given ritual would take on a mind of their own. She had drawn her proffered conclusion from the fact that energy had already begun to pass about the circle in a smooth, unrestricted flow, several steps ahead of being called for.
Even with my current state of being, I’d actually managed to achieve a solid ground in short order. It had taken serious concentration to do so; something I was still getting used to, but I’d done it. I’m sure that I had a bit of help from a particular redhead since she was latched tight to my hand, but none of that mattered to me right now. What was important was that I was fully grounded, and the combined energies of the group circling through felt absolutely wonderful.
“Well,” my wife spoke again, “since this production doesn’t seem to need a director, which one of you would like to call the quarters this time?”
“We will,” Jennifer and Shari both chimed in at once.
With no argument whatsoever, the two of them smoothly broke the ranks of the circle, opening ethereal doorways by which to properly exit as the rest of us shuffled around to close the voids. Moving in opposite directions, they orbited us, passing one another at the easternmost point of our deck and then continuing along the circuit until meeting once again in the east. There, they stopped, face-to-face, and joined hands in a miniature circle of their own.
“On this night…” Jennifer began.
“…of darkness long,” Shari continued.
“We join together…” Jennifer said.
“…our circle strong,” Shari completed.
“We raise our voice, above the rest…”
“…and make to you, this gentle request.”
A short measure of silence fell in behind the quick chant, and we all waited.
“Watchtower of the east…” Jennifer finally said as they continued to trade off the lines.
“…Element of air…” Shari added seamlessly.
“…Guardian of the wind…”
“…Breath of life.”
“We invite you,” they spoke simultaneously this time, blending in a double-voiced harmony. “Join us this night and watch over us in our circle. Blessed be!”
“So mote it be!” the rest of us sang out in unison at the queue.
After a double beat of quiet, the two girls released hands and turned their backs to one another. Jennifer went into motion first, Shari remaining steadfast in place until her sister was on the opposite side of the circle, whereupon she set out in the opposite direction. They pranced, almost fairylike, as they made the circuit. It was obvious that they were enjoying the task at hand and loved being in the spotlight. This time around they passed one another at the southernmost point of the group, again continuing about us until meeting once again in the south.
Repeating their earlier posture, they clasped hands.
R.J. canted toward me and I leaned in to hear him whisper, “They’ve been planning this for three weeks, ya’know.”
I grinned at him as he stood there shaking his head.
“Guardians present…” Shari’s voice met our ears.
“…We count now one,” Jennifer followed.
“Demands of you…” Sh
ari again.
“…We shall make none,” Jennifer said.
“Now our quest, is but to ask…”
“…If in fire’s glow, we may bask.”
Again, a momentary lull followed their chant as we all anticipated what would come next.
“Watchtower of the south…” Shari said.
“…Element of fire…” Jennifer followed.
“…Guardian of flame…”
“…Bringer of warmth.”
“…We invite you to…”
The twin’s conjoined voices were unceremoniously interrupted by an evenly spaced staccato of piercing electronic beeps. An extremely brief interval of silence ensued, only to be followed by a second set of the annoying tones that increased in volume by at least half. A third set barely got off the ground as an abbreviated chirp. What quickly followed was my friend’s embarrassed sounding voice.
“Sorry ‘bout that. Thought I’d set it ta’ vibrate,” Ben apologized meekly as he scanned the face of his pager.
“Is it the sitter?” Allison asked, leaning closer to her husband to have a look at the device.
“No,” Ben answered then shot his glance my way. “But I’d better answer this. Row, ya’ think maybe I can use your phone?”
“Help yourself.” I nodded. “You know where it is. Feel free to use the one in the bedroom if you want.”
“Ummm, I hope this doesn’t offend anyone, but I’m kinda unfamiliar with this whole deal. Do I need to bow or genuflect or somethin’ before I leave?”
The innocent seriousness of his question brought a round of chuckles to the group.
“No, nothing like that,” I explained with a smile. “We aren’t actually casting circle here at the moment, and besides, even if we were, you aren’t actually in circle with us. You can come and go as you please. Just come on back out after you’re finished, it won’t bother us, as long as you’re quiet about it.”
“Thanks,” he told me as he started toward the door of the atrium. “Sorry I interrupted the deal here everyone…”
“Crap occurs.” Randy offered his family friendly version of the popular phrase with a grin.
“I think we’ll survive,” Felicity said. “It’s not the first time.”
“But Detective Storm,” the twins called after him simultaneously.
“Yeah?” he turned back, his hand already on the doorknob.
“Just don’t let…” Jennifer said with a giggle.
“…it happen again,” Shari finished, tittering as well.
“Jeez,” I heard Ben laugh as he went through the door, shaking his head, “you two are a piece of work.”
My shoulder was seriously starting to ache from the cold, and as my friend shut the door behind him, I felt the hair rise on the back of my neck and a dull throb begin at the base of my skull. The pain was apparently starting to expand, and I rolled my arm a bit to get comfortable.
“You okay, Rowan?” R.J. whispered to me.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I nodded as I answered. “Shoulder.”
He shot me a grimace and nodded his understanding of my one word explanation.
“All right, everyone,” Felicity announced. “Are we ready to move on?”
I thought for a second about excusing myself but elected not to say anything. I decided to give it a few more minutes and see how things progressed. Worse case scenario, after the next tower was hailed I could go inside and down a handful of aspirin.
Everyone settled back in, and the twins completed their abruptly truncated hail of the Southern watchtower before once again engaging in their opposing orbits around the circle.
“Watchtowers doubled…” said Jennifer as they joined at our west.
“…now stand in a pair,” chimed Shari.
“Guardian of fire…”
“…and guardian of air,”
“We beckon you now, come join the rest…”
“…with ebb and with flow, as you do the best.”
“Watchtower of the west,” Jennifer’s voice stepped in behind the lull.
“Element of water…” Shari continued.
“Guardian of ocean, sea, lake and stream…”
“Giver of life.”
Their voices doubled together, “We invite you. Please join us this night and watch over us in our circle. Blessed be!”
“So mote it be!” we answered aloud.
Jennifer and Shari executed their dance for a fourth and final time, coming to rest in the north, and very close to their original positions in our circle.
“Thrice we’ve bid…” Shari began.
“…to watchtowers tall…” Jennifer completed.
“…And each have answered…”
“…our humble call.”
“Now at last, we come to four…”
“…The final tower, there are no more.”
“Watchtower of the north…”
“Element of earth…”
“Guardian of the land…”
“Mother of all…”
And together they harmonized a last time, “We invite you. Please join us this night and watch over us in our circle. Blessed be!”
And as one, we all answered, “So mote it be!”
The girls rejoined our ranks as we spread out to accommodate them, and they stood almost dancing in place, excited grins plastered across their faces. As they clasped hands with the circle, we could all instantly feel the intense level of energy they’d raised between themselves and were now sharing with us. It was no wonder they couldn’t seem to stand still.
A warm feeling coursed through my body, and though my shoulder was still bludgeoning me with discomfort, I decided I could bear it awhile longer provided it didn’t get any worse.
“The wheel forever turns, spinning in harmony with nature; with the Lord and Lady; with the elements and all that is,” Felicity said, picking up where Jennifer and Shari had ended. “It spirals through the seasons, bringing with it the balance of the cyclic birth, death, and rebirth of all.
“Winter solstice is both an end and a beginning. This longest night brings to a close our solar year, and with the dawn brings to us the hope and mystery of the next. It is a time when that which is spent is laid to rest, and that which is new and untouched bursts forth with wonder and promise.
“This is a time for new beginnings. This is a time we call Yule. It is a celebration of the cycle and the rebirth of the Sun God. In honor of this time, we celebrate with a pyre in its name.”
The last sentence was my queue; I released hands and stepped forward into the center of the circle. Digging in my pocket, after a moment I withdrew a wooden match. Kneeling down, I struck it against the deck and shielded the flame from the wind with my cupped hand. I reached into the open fire pit and touched the small fire to a few strategic points. The dry kindling caught quickly, then I stood and stepped back into place with the rest of the circle.
The wood and pinecones crackled as the fire began to spread and consume them as fuel-an act of birth and death in and of itself. Flickering light cast outward to illuminate us in a yellow-orange glow.
Nancy knelt down, and when she stood up again she stepped forward holding a medium-sized oak log, decorated with pine boughs. She carefully lowered it into the rapidly growing conflagration and allowed it to fall the last few inches, jumping back as a shower of embers plumed upward.
“The Yule log represents the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth.” Felicity continued her recitation of the ritual. “Tonight, this pyre will light our way through the darkness; give us warmth to stave off the cold; and remind us of our good fortune past, present, and future as we welcome the rebirth of the Sun God. Blessed be!”
“So mote it be!” we answered her.
Felicity looked solemnly around the circle as a cloud of smoke billowed outward from the fire pit and lofted upward on the cold breeze. The sappy pine boughs had begun to burn now, and their pungent odor was filling the air, riding on the back of the blue-white smoke.
“Well, let’s make this thing safe, so we can leave it alone for a while,” she stated. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m ready to eat. It’s going to be a very long night.”
I gave R.J. a friendly nudge and told him with a grin, “I’m appointing you fire tender. I’m getting too old for this all night stuff.”
*****
After we’d placed the lid on the portable fireplace and closed the screens, we all started back inside for the feast. I had eventually become so caught up in the ritual that it was my sole focus for the last several minutes. Until now I’d almost completely dismissed the fact that my shoulder was flaring up. I was suddenly reminded of it in no uncertain terms by a sharp twinge that drove inward and then hung a quick right to shoot down my arm, ending with momentary numbness in my fingers. I decided then and there that I was going to need something to take it down a few notches if I was going to make it through the rest of the night.
Something else I’d forgotten was that Ben was already in the house making a phone call. He had apparently just finished as we all filtered into the living room and began hanging up our coats. I heard the door to our bedroom open as everyone was heading back into the kitchen and dining room to help get everything set out for dinner. I hung back a moment and waited.
“Hey, Tonto,” I greeted my friend as he came around the corner and up the short hallway. “You missed all the fun.”
“What? Oh, yeah, sorry ‘bout that,” he answered me, voice thick and betraying a noticeable sense of distance to his thoughts. He looked pale, which considering his dusky complexion was alarming in and of itself.
“Something wrong?” I queried, feeling the hairs on my neck snap to attention once again.
“No. Nothin’. No big deal.” He shook his head.
I was unconvinced. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” He shook his head a little too vigorously. “It’s nothin’.”
“Ben…”
He shot me a hard look and half whispered, “Not right now, Row. Drop it. It’s nothin’”
“Okay.” I shrugged and held up a hand to let him know I got the message. “No problem. Sorry.”