Larkstorm

by Dawn Rae Miller

  Sensitives? The word stabs my brain. Impossible. I would know if Beck were a Sensitive. My fist slams into my thigh. How dare Maz say such a thing? Beck has a flawless pedigree—he’s not some monster.

  I would have felt it, would have seen it. Wouldn’t I?

  Tears well in my eyes and I pull my knees to my chest. I want to hide my face from Bethina.

  “Lark?” Her voice is soft. A soft tickle works over my body, like a soothing caress. The urge to fight recedes, replaced by a need to be comforted.

  “Why don’t you come sit over here?”

  Out of habit, I obey. I use the doorknob to lift myself off the ground. My legs wobble and nearly give out under me.

  “How? Bethina, how?” I lumber toward the couch. My heavy body collapses into the overstuffed cushions. “Beck is a Founder’s descendant. You can’t learn to be Sensitive—you’re born that way. And we were both genetically tested as infants. This has to be a mistake.”

  Bethina hands me a glass of water. I take it and watch the beads run down the outside. They chase after one another gathering speed until they collide. All parts of a whole making their way back to one another.

  “I’m afraid it isn’t. Beck is Sensitive. There’s evidence.”

  “What evidence? What’s he ever done but be happy and silly and all those other things he is?” A cry is trapped in my throat, but I push it down and fight to compose myself. “His parents work for the State. They aren’t Sensitive.”

  “All I know is that the investigation points at five students. I don’t know anything else.”

  “Five! But how?” The questions rush out of me. “How did they attend school unnoticed? What’s going to happen?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “And Kyra too?”

  “Yes.” Bethina turns toward the window.

  “Two of them in our house. Under your watch, Bethina? How did you not know?”

  Her shoulders hunch forward and she dips her chin. “I can ask the same of you.”

  I simply can’t believe this. Beck, my mate, is a Sensitive. And Kyra, my best friend, is too? This doesn’t make sense.

  “What am I supposed to do?” The enormity of the situation presses on me. Beck is gone. And Kyra. My mate and my best friend. Everything we’d planned is gone.

  Bethina continues to stare out the window. Her hands shake, but I can tell she’s trying to hold it together for me.

  “I think it’s best if you just wait, Lark. Give it a day or two. I’m sure word will come soon for you.”

  I tense at her implication. “What are you saying?”

  She sighs and folds her hands. “Perhaps this is for the best. Perhaps Beck isn’t the right mate for you.”

  My spine tingles with anger.

  “He’s my mate! My mate! What have you always said? We’re two sides of a coin? How can you even say that he’s not the best choice for me?”

  She stands up, her face no longer composed. “Lark Greene, you stop that right now. Yelling at me is not going to bring Beck back.”

  Shamed, I raise my eyes to Bethina. Her face is tear-stained and she looks like she’s been up for days.

  “Where is he? Please tell me.” I try to sound pathetic, but what I really want is to sound menacing.

  I want answers.

  “I told you. The State took him. He’s not in jail. I’m positive of that. They’re probably interrogating the two of them. Now get control of yourself so we can discuss what needs to be done.” Her voice is firm. She’s done babying me.

  “Fine.”

  “You need to give me your necklace.” Bethina extends her hand.

  “What? No.” I cover it protectively. Why would she want my necklace?

  Her hand is cupped, waiting. “A clean break.”

  The pressure continues to build inside of me, gathering speed like the beads of water. I’m spinning out of control. I want so badly to make someone feel my hurt.

  Bethina’s head turns toward a faint cracking noise. “What in the…”

  Before she finishes, the glass sitting on the side table explodes, sending water and glass spraying into the air.

  Bethina screams.

  I leap from my seat and yank at the door. It bursts open and I sprint to the stairs. jumping over the split banister, and running for my room. I’m not sure what just happened, but if the State thinks—wrongly—Beck and Kyra are Sensitives, there’s a good chance the real culprits are in our house somewhere. Biding their time.

  Fear claws at me as I shove my curious housemates out of my way. Behind me, I leave a trail of confusion.

  I reach my room and kick the door shut with my foot. I expect Bethina to barge in at any moment—or worse, the real Sensitives—so I wedge my desk chair under the doorknob.

  And then I sink to the floor, my body convulsing with sobs.

  How did this day go wrong so fast?

  Seconds, then minutes, then an hour pass. Just when I think I’m out of tears, the memory of Beck’s soft lips brushing mine floats back to me. And even worse, he asked me to skip and I said no. If I had gone, maybe he’d still be here. Or, if I’d gone with him, I’d be facing life as an accused Sensitive too, with no chance at a real future.

  Oh God. What if they’re going to put him on trial? What if I’m forced to watch Beck paraded across the screen, vilified and sentenced to jail? Or worse, sentenced to death if the State determines he actively sought to undermine its stability.

  I rub my hands over my face and dig my fingers into the bridge of my nose. This can’t be happening.

  “Lark? Do you need anything?” Bethina raps softly on the door. She doesn’t try to enter.

  My raw throat burns when I speak. “Leave me alone.”

  Her footsteps fade as she walks away. The hazy afternoon light filters through the window. It’s only been two hours since I arrived home. But it’s been nearly three hours since I last saw Beck. Maybe if I had insisted he talk to me and tell me what was scaring him, this wouldn’t have happened. Or if I hadn’t kept pulling away from him, he would have told me.

  I shake my head. No, I can’t think like that. I need to think forward. I can’t change what’s already happened.

  I twist myself into a ball, broken. My breath is still ragged. My hair has slipped from its ponytail and is knotted about my shoulders. My room, our room, is strangely the same. All I see, everywhere I look, is Beck. I wrap myself tighter with my arms and squeeze my eyes shut, hoping that when I open them, Beck will be standing in front of me, wiggling his eyebrows or sprawled on his bed reading.

  Instead, all of Beck’s things are here, waiting for him to come back. The clothes he wore yesterday still tossed into the corner, his desk littered with school projects. I can see him everywhere, but he’s gone. Not coming back. Accused.

  They didn’t even let him take his things.

  “Beck,” I whisper. “What did you do?”

  My fingers wrap around my bird necklace, stroking it, as if its tarnished surface will give me the answers I want. Bethina’s crazy if she believes I’ll give this to her—right now, it’s all I have of Beck.

  Numbness stings my legs and I push myself off the ground, in the hope that standing will eliminate the pins and needles sensation. The pricking hurts. As I run my hands over my legs—beating on them, trying to get them to wake up—my blue wristlet catches my eye. The locating app is broken, but maybe the calling function still works. A spark of hope flickers in me.

  I tap my wristlet and say “Beck.”

  My breath catches, waiting for his answer.

  Two rings—“We’re sorry, the person you’ve contacted does not exist.”

  “Does not exist?” How can Beck not exist? Of course he does.

  I tear my wristlet off and hurl it at the window. The impact cracks the glass and the wristlet slams to the ground. The stupid thing is useless, so I leave it lying there. Who am I going to contact anyway? Beck’s gone and Kyra’s probably with him.

  “Damn
it!” I yell louder, not caring if anyone hears me.

  I yank open the top drawer of the Beck’s dresser and throw his clothes on the ground. Then I do the same with the next drawer, and the next, until all of his clothes are scattered across the floor.

  I grab a fistful of shirts, roll them into a ball and pelt the helpless wristlet. Tears well in my eyes again. I was sure he’d answer.

  One lone t-shirt lies at my feet. I swoop to pick it up and press the clean shirt against my face. I inhale, hoping to find some of his spirit but nothing comes. I slide the shirt on over my head and it falls to my knees like a nightgown.

  Sleep sounds good. If I can sleep, maybe I can forget about this for a while. I kick off my shoes, pull back the covers on Beck’s bed and lie down.

  But I can’t stay still with my heart racing and my stomach churning. I stare at the ceiling. Beck and I used to lie here when I couldn’t sleep and find patterns in the cracks that run through the plaster. He’d cradle my head in the crook of his arm, holding me until I fell asleep.

  My eyes search along the ceiling until they rest on my favorite shape—a snow pine. Next to it is Beck’s dragonfly.

  Summer Hill. The memory of Beck’s voice says the words over and over again, each time growing stronger, demanding I listen.

  I know what I have to do.

  With a soft thud, I land on the floor. Flattening out, I crawl under the bed until nearly to the wall, searching until my hand finds what I’m looking for—an old tattered backpack. I wiggle myself out and inspect the pack. There’s a hole on the side, but it’s tiny. The bag will do.

  I sling the pack over my shoulder and walk to my closet. The jeans Beck tried putting on yesterday are crumpled on the floor. I pick them up and smile at the ridiculous memory of him hopping around with his legs jammed into my pants.

  I ignore the changing screen for the first time in years and replace my skirt with my jeans. I take off Beck’s shirt and switch it with a sweater from the closet. From my shoe rack, I select a sturdy pair of knee-high boots. The heel is low, so it should be okay for walking.

  Funny how a few wardrobe changes can make you look so different. I squint at my reflection and yank the elastic holder from my hair. It tumbles around my shoulders like a dark curtain. From Beck’s side of the room, I retrieve a knit cap, tug it over my head and wrap a scarf around my neck.

  There. My face is more or less hidden. No one should be able to recognize me.

  From my dresser, I grab another pair of pants, a shirt, some socks and underwear, and roll them up tightly before tossing them into my backpack. Then I cross the room to Beck’s dresser, pull open the bottom drawer and dig to the back. I find an old-fashioned photo album and flip through it, page after page of the two of us playing, eating, and sleeping. Mundane everyday stuff until I’m near the end.

  I slip the picture out of its cover and place it in the front pocket of my backpack. Lastly, I open my desk drawer and take out an envelope full of old money. Beck and I have saved every bill given to us since we were nine, and it’s more than enough for several train tickets plus food and lodging if necessary. We hoped to one day travel to places we’ve only read about in our history texts. In fact, I’d been secretly planning such a trip for just after the binding. I had mapped out an itinerary that would take us to the Eastern Society, as well as on a tour of our State’s remaining cities—it was going to be my surprise for Beck.

  I stuff the cash into my pocket and walk to the window.

  Afraid any squeak will give me away, I lift the window and stick my head out. The wind is calm now and the snow’s falling softly. I’m on the second story, but there’s a large drift right under the window. As long as the snow isn’t frozen, jumping shouldn’t hurt. To test the drop, I pick up my useless wristlet and hurl it into the snow drift. It sinks. Not frozen, then.

  Without any sentimentality, I give our room one last glance and leap out the window. The snow breaks my fall nicely. I climb out of the pile and dust myself off, determined to not let any snow stick to me. The last thing I need is to be running around in wet clothes.

  Without looking back, I take off down the street.

  9

  Once I turn the corner of my block, I slow to a jog, knowing Bethina can no longer see me. On each side of the deserted path, towering piles of snow give the impression of a half-finished tunnel and adds to my sense of being hidden. I’m all alone—no one willingly comes out in weather like this.

  I race along the walkway, constantly checking over my shoulder and peering into the long shadows cast by the hazy sun. Right now I don’t now which I fear more: Bethina finding me, or Sensitives.

  At the edge of campus, where the barricade separates the school from the City, rolling white hills give way to grand mansions set closely to one another. Some of the highest ranking State officials—like my mother—occupy these homes.

  Curiously, there’s only one guard and he’s walking along the barricade with his back to me.

  I stare at the quiet City. I have to get out there and to the train station. But if I walk through the gate, will the security system sound?

  With just my fingertips, I touch the barricade. Its firm, unyielding surface doesn’t give the answers I seek. The side of the gate stretches up, over two lanes of road, and down the other side. Even though private vehicles are no longer in use, the State still uses roads and transports to move goods around the Society.

  My eyes flit back to where the guard stood. He’s gone. I swing my head wildly, searching for him, but see nothing but the barricade, snow covered hills and houses on the City side.

  Make a decision, Lark. Either do it or don’t.

  Do it. The hairs on my neck prick up as I walk through the gate. No alarm sounds and the guard doesn’t reappear. Good to know he’s on top of things.

  I hurry down the sidewalk and pass Mother’s grand house. As usual, there’s a whirl of activity taking place just beyond the thick glass windows. When we were kids, Beck and I would sneak out and peer through the clear barricade at the parade of people moving from one event to another. Evenings were an endless party with my mother as acting hostess, always laughing and the center of attention. She always looked glamorous, powerful, beautiful—all the things I hoped to be.

  Somewhere in the Bay a foghorn bellows its warning, reminding me it’s time to go. Too much lingering and I may be noticed.

  For the first time in my life, there’s nothing protecting me. I’ve always lived behind the barricade, only leaving when escorted. Out here, alone, I’m completely exposed. And completely out of place.

  Nerves force me to jog the next twelve blocks. The cityscape changes dramatically when I enter the commerce zone. The stately homes of dignitaries end abruptly and multistory buildings soar toward the sky, now a barely visible sliver. My luck’s been good—the few people I’ve seen have either been in too much of a hurry to notice me, or too distracted by their wristlets.

  I pause at the corner and consider the best route. I’m not familiar with the City, but I do know how to get to the train station, having traveled to Beck’s family home and Mother’s estate at least once every year. The station sits across town, and if I walk the whole distance, it may take two or more hours with this snow and ice. But if I take the public transport, I risk running into someone who knows me—like a teacher.

  Since the wind has died down and the snow no longer falls, I decide to walk as long as it seems like I’m making decent progress. The last train leaves at 5:45 p.m. I have time, but none to waste.

  I’ve walked this way occasionally when I’ve run errands with Bethina. The most direct route (I think), and the one we often avoided, is through a residential neighborhood. Bethina—saddled with bags of groceries and what not—hates climbing hills, so we normally skirt around the perimeter where the land is a bit more forgiving.

  But even with the ice, walking over the hill is most likely the shortest route by a good forty-five minutes.

  The frozen
landscape doesn’t produce much sound, just the soft, rhythmic crunching of my step. There’s not a bird in the sky or a person around now. The heaviness of being alone crushes down on me like an unwanted weight.

  As much as I welcome the silence and the ability to think without distraction, I need noise or I’m going to start crying again. And I absolutely don’t need to be crying right now.

  I reach for my wristlet to turn on some music, but my fingers only brush the cold skin of my exposed wrist. Fantastic—I left it home, lying in the snow.

  Maybe that means the gate won’t be able to report my exit to Bethina? But can the State still track me without my wristlet?

  I trudge along, losing myself in thought. Everything depends on Bethina believing I’ve barricaded myself in my room, too overcome with grief to come out. If she does, I’ll have a good three-hour lead before anyone begins looking for me.

  The unwanted intrudes on my thoughts: Beck is Sensitive. Bethina said there’s evidence and she believes it. I…I’m not sure what to believe. He was acting so oddly. But how can he possibly be Sensitive? It’s genetic—the State tests us for it. And he’s a Channing—a founder’s descendant.

  Doubt creeps into my resolve. Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this. If Beck really is Sensitive than I am better off without him. Any small child could tell me that. Because who knows what he’s capable of?

  I bite back my tears. “Stop it, Lark. Just stop.”

  I know Beck isn’t bad and he’s definitely not evil. I know he’s never caused anyone harm. He’s nothing but happiness and optimism. He confronted them.

  This has to be a mistake.