If I Loved You Less

by Tamsen Parker

  The strong arms she’d always admired came around her now, and Kini held her tight, cradling her head as she swept her tongue through Theo’s mouth as though she wanted to taste every inch that she’d never been allowed before. Theo wanted to let her. Wanted to give her everything. Wanted to strip off right on the beach and see what else Kini could use those hands and that mouth for.

  Theo had some ideas.

  Ideas that would have to wait, though, because as much as it felt like they were the only two people on earth, they weren’t. It wouldn’t have been the first time Theo had been caught making out with someone on the beach, but this was different. This wasn’t a tourist who was leaving in a few days. This was Kini, and she meant to kiss Kini for the rest of her life. She also didn’t want her father or Laurel to hear about this from anyone else but her.

  So although it killed her to do so, felt like she was being deprived of oxygen, she pulled away from Kini, but not able to stop touching her entirely, they stood with their hands gripping each other’s elbows. “I want to kiss you for days to make up for lost time, but—”

  “No,” said Kini, a bit short of breath and her eyes bright. “No. I understand. I don’t want your dad to find out like this.”

  Did she even know that Laurel had a bit of a crush on her? Maybe not, and Theo wasn’t about to make Kini feel guilty about her behavior by telling her so. But Theo…Theo definitely would owe Laurel an apology. She would concern herself with that after they’d told her father.

  Telling her father had gone far better than Theo had anticipated. Partially, Theo suspected, because if she were in love with Kini, the farthest she’d ever go was to live over the bakery with her lover. No, not lover. That wasn’t the right word. The declaration felt permanent in an unexpected way. Her father must have seen that too, when Kini announced to him that she was in love with his daughter and she was lucky enough that Theo felt the same way. Kini had threaded her fingers through Theo’s, which made effervescent happiness bubble over inside Theo, so delighted that she couldn’t help bouncing on her toes a bit.

  Dermot Sullivan might’ve been surprised, but it was soon overrun by happiness, and he hugged them both and had already started making plans for how they could expand Charlotte’s abandoned apartment so Theo and Kini could live there together.

  Theo had shot Kini an apologetic shrug behind her father’s back, but Kini had leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Sounds perfect to me. And I think I know someone who’d be happy to have the apartment over the bakery.”

  And Queen’s happened to be where Theo was headed now. After talking to her father, she’d texted Laurel to ask if they could meet up, and her friend was already at the bakery. Since she wasn’t coming to see Kini, who was still chatting with her father, Theo came in through the front door, the bells chiming as she stepped through the door. But not loudly enough to interrupt the conversation that was happening at the counter.

  Bobby Martin was standing at the register, tall and lanky as ever, his hair a riot of curls spilling out from under his backward baseball cap. His big hands were on the counter, and he was talking and laughing with none other than Laurel, who was resting her elbows on the glass and leaning forward, about as close as she could get to Bobby. Perhaps telling Laurel wouldn’t be so bad after all…

  Epilogue

  One Year Later

  Theo hadn’t thought it humanly possible, but Kini had managed to make a cake that was even more delicious than the one she’d baked for Charlotte and Jim’s wedding.

  “I can’t wait until everyone gets a bite of this cake. You’re going to have more requests than you know what to do with. It’s incredible.”

  It probably made her a bad person, but from where they sat on the white folding chairs that had been set out to create a makeshift aisle running down the beach, Theo couldn’t help glancing back at the tower of deliciousness, impatiently waiting until she could actually have a slice of it. She’d been lucky enough to be the taste-tester before Kini had even offered it up to her clients, and Theo had given her hearty approval to the mango-flavored cake with the cream cheese, pineapple, and macadamia nut frosting, all covered in a marzipan drape and beautifully crafted sugar flowers. Turned out Bea had a real talent for making them and had been flooded with orders from hotels and bakeries as far as Oahu.

  Kini lifted their entwined hands from between the seats and kissed the inside of Theo’s wrist before leaning over to whisper in her ear. “Thank you, love. I appreciate that. But if you don’t stop talking about how good the cake is, your father might kill me.”

  Oh, true. A quick glance to her other side revealed her father’s wrinkled brow and downturned corners of his mouth. He loved Kini, which was saying something given that he also thought she was a peddler of death in the form of desserts.

  Fortunately for all involved, music started playing and the procession started. It was short because there weren’t any attendants. Only Austin walking to the front where the justice of the peace was, with Jim on one side and his horrible mother—who was annoyed about having to come to Kauai for this—on the other. Behind them were Mr. Winters and Charlotte. An odd couple, yeah, but Charlotte was so charming even Mr. Winters seemed to enjoy her company. Also, it was a goddamn wedding, so the parental figures were on their best behavior because they didn’t want to seem like complete and utter tools.

  Austin’s advisor had taken Jessica into her research group, so they could study at the same university and wouldn’t have to play the long-distance game anymore. Though that had gotten easier, of course, after Austin had come into his trust and his controlling-as-fuck mom couldn’t dictate his life quite so much.

  When Austin was up at the front, everyone turned in their seats to get a look at Jessica, who was wearing a white dress that made her look radiant and lovely. Off-the-shoulder and cut close to her body, it was hemmed up enough that she could walk barefoot on the sand. Hell, everyone was barefoot. Including Laurel and Bobby, who were sitting behind Theo, holding hands and looking cute like whoa. It made Theo’s heart happy.

  They were living together above the bakery, and Kini was grooming Bobby to take over eventually. Laurel had started taking classes again last semester, but at Hawaii Pacific University instead of her old school. Her parents hadn’t been wild about it, but they were happy enough Laurel was back in school to pay for it at any rate and to pay for her almost weekly plane tickets to Kauai to be with Bobby. They were frigging adorable, and Theo had to admit she’d made a mistake in discouraging their relationship from the start.

  On the other side of the aisle, Stella and Brock whispered to each other, no doubt saying their reception had been better than this one. Which, of course, Stella would say since there weren’t crystals dripping off everything.

  Theo thought it was lovely and found herself thinking what she might like for her own wedding… Not that it was close. And maybe they wouldn’t have one ever. After all, it would save her father from having to be upset about them serving cake. Maybe only cake.

  But not long after they’d started living together, she and Kini had started wearing rings. Silicone, so they wouldn’t have to take them off to do their jobs or so if they got lost in the ocean or cut by a knife, it wouldn’t be a big deal. But still, they had the emotional weight of metal bands, if not the physical weight, and had the bonus of keeping a lot of the unwanted attention away. No more banging tourists for either of them.

  Theo didn’t miss it either—the nearly anonymous encounters and the few days or weeks of whirlwind sex and fun times. What she had with Kini was quieter, yes, but also so good she couldn’t believe she’d gone without it for so long. Being with someone who had known you and was happy to learn you over again from the inside out had its perks. Kini was as dedicated to Theo’s pleasure as she was to everything else and had spent many, many hours tormenting her in the name of figuring out precisely what Theo enjoyed.

  And Theo paid her back in sunshine and light and dancing and good behav
ior…most of the time. She didn’t want Kini to be bored, after all.

  As the justice called for everyone’s attention, Theo rested her head on Kini’s shoulder, breathing in the sweet smell of her skin. And in response, Kini squeezed her hand and kissed the top of her head.

  Yes, sometime they’d have a wedding, but there was no hurry. There never was in paradise.

  Also by Tamsen Parker

  The Compass Series

  Personal Geography

  Intimate Geography

  Uncharted Territory

  True North

  Due South

  The Cartographer

  * * *

  The Snow and Ice Games Series

  Love on the Tracks

  Seduction on the Slopes

  On the Edge of Scandal

  Fire on the Ice

  On the Brink of Passion

  * * *

  The License to Love Series

  Thrown Off Track

  Hot on Her Tracks (Early 2019)

  The Inside Track (Early 2019)

  * * *

  Camp Firefly Falls

  In Her Court

  Love, All

  * * *

  Standalone Novels

  School Ties

  His Custody

  If I Loved You Less

  * * *

  Short Stories and Novellas

  Needs

  (Originally published in the Winter Rain anthology)

  Looking for a Complication

  (Originally published in the For the First Time anthology)

  Dedication of a Lifetime

  (Originally published in the Rogue Affair anthology)

  Craving Flight

  * * *

  Anthologies

  Rogue Desire

  Rogue Affair

  Rogue Hearts

  Best Women’s Erotica of the Year Volume Four (Winter 2018)

  Rogue Ever After (May 2019)