Drive and Determination

by Louise, Kara

  Elyssa shook her head, trying to find the answer. Why was he in her bed last night? Why was she finding it so difficult to think clearly around him? For goodness sake, where was that anger that used to accompany every thought about him?

  Elyssa walked determinedly towards her shoes. She was more angry with herself for not being angry at him!

  “Hey, wait up, Elyssa.”

  Will caught up to her and watched as she frantically attempted to put her shoes back on.

  “I think we ought to get back.”

  “Sure,” he eyed her with a little surprise, knowing something had brought about a change in her.

  As he sat down beside her, Elyssa shivered. It wasn’t so much the fact that she was wet and cold, but there was another reason for it. That reason was sitting right next to her.

  When she finished getting her shoes on, she cast a sideways glance at Will. She had just had more fun with him than she ever had and the recollection about his sleeping next to her all night would have… should have… made her angry. But she could not find that seed of prejudice against him any longer. She now found herself facing a very real possibility. Could she be falling in love with him?

  They walked back to the house and Will couldn’t help but wonder if he had gone too far. Was she upset that he had gotten her so wet? Was she offended that he picked her up and held her so close?

  When they reached the house and came into the living room, Will faced her. “I should go now and check into the pension, since I never got around to that yesterday. Will you be OK?”

  “You really don’t have to do that, Will.”

  “I don’t?”

  “No.” It was a long pause before Elyssa continued. “I’ll go ahead and sleep in the bedroom again, but…” Elyssa took in a deep breath and looked with all seriousness at Will. “As far as where you sleep, well, I just don’t think it should be a… repeat of last night.”

  Will’s face turned white and he coughed out a, “No, no, probably not.”

  Elyssa smiled at his discomfiture and then turned toward the hall. “I do claim the shower first, though.”

  Will didn’t think he could breathe as he watched her leave the room. She did remember him sleeping next to her last night and she wasn’t angry! She wasn’t angry!

  Will sat down in the recliner chair, soaking wet, quite elated, and very hopeful.

  Chapter 16

  The next morning, Will and Elyssa awoke early to pack up their belongings in preparation to return to Guatemala City. They were to meet Manuel and his son at the dock at seven o’clock.

  As they passed the same flowering bush that Elyssa had stopped at the day before, Will reached over and picked a handful of bright red flowers.

  “Here,” he said. “You’ll want these.”

  Elyssa’s eyes widened and she brought them up to her nose, inhaling their fragrance. “Thank you!” She looked up and searched his face for an explanation.

  “You’ll want them for later.”

  “Later?”

  Will only nodded and then he saw Manuel up ahead. “There’s Manuel. It looks like the boat is here.”

  The four of them boarded the boat and were the only ones to make the trip back to Panajachel. When they reached the town, Manuel went to retrieve the car while the others waited at the dock.

  When Manuel returned with the car, Will pulled him aside, speaking to him in Spanish. Elyssa thought this was unusual, especially noticing Manuel’s reaction, but put all thoughts and questions about it aside.

  As they drove away from the lake, Elyssa told a very astounded Manuel about the water fight she and Will had down at the lake the night before. While Will laughed a few times, he seemed preoccupied. She wondered whether he would leave the person he had become the past few days back at the lake and turn into the man she originally thought him to be. Had she truly been with the real man or had it been only a temporary transformation.

  The car reached the top of the summit that overlooked the lake and they pulled on to the highway that would take them part of the way back. Elyssa settled in for a quiet car ride, as Will was definitely not in a talkative mood.

  About a half an hour later, Manuel pulled over. He and Will spoke briefly in Spanish and Elyssa looked at them curiously.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked, looking from one to the other.

  Will took a deep breath. “You’ll want to get out.” After a pause he pulled out a handkerchief and pointed to the flowers, “And you’ll want to bring these.”

  Something in Will’s words and expression made Elyssa’s chest tighten. She slowly turned toward the window on her side and looked out. There, on the side of the road, lay a rustic wooden cross with a few flowers at its base. Some of the flowers had begun to wither. Her hand suddenly reached for Will’s and she gripped it tightly.

  “This… this is where…” Tears and sobs came suddenly and prevented Elyssa from saying any more.

  “Yes,” he replied softly.

  Manuel came around and opened the door for them. He stepped back as Elyssa walked dazedly toward the place where Janet and Chad had died; her shaking hands holding the flowers Will had picked earlier that morning. Will kept close behind her, ready to be a support if she needed it.

  Elyssa stooped down as she lay the fresh flowers down at the base of the cross. Her breathing became ragged as her fingers trailed over the two pieces of wood that had Janet and Chad’s names carved with simple, block letters on it. She brought the handkerchief up and buried her face in it as a fresh wave of grief rolled over her.

  Will silently stood behind her until she started to rise. When he noticed her wobbling, he immediately came to her side to help her up. A new tremor of grief swept through her and she turned and buried her head in Will’s chest. His arms went around her and tightened to keep her from crumbling to the ground.

  “I’m sorry, Elyssa. I know this is very painful for you, but I thought you’d want to see what a few people have done here in their memory.”

  “No, no…” Elyssa waved her hand. “I’m glad you did. Thank you. Thank you.”

  She remained in the strong embrace of his arms, feeling a complete sense of solace there. Will thought back to the embrace yesterday. He hoped this one wouldn’t overshadow the other, more pleasant one.

  Elyssa finally pulled away and announced that she was ready to go.

  “Are you sure?”

  Elyssa nodded. She didn’t try to shield her red eyes and tear-stained face from Will. He had seen it often enough. When they got back in the car, Elyssa asked, “Who did this? Who put the cross here and brings the flowers? They weren’t that old.”

  It was Manuel who answered.

  “A young lady named Maria. She lives just down the street from the townhouses and she and Janet often got together to work on Maria’s English and Janet’s Spanish. Maria faithfully takes the chicken bus every week up here, bringing fresh flowers to place here.”

  Elyssa took in a few trembling breaths. “I would like to meet her if we have time when we get back. Do you think that would be possible?” She looked from Manuel to Will and then back to Manuel.

  “I’ll check with Shelley. She can see if she’s home and arrange a visit.”

  “Thank you, Manuel.” Elyssa looked over at Will. “And thank you, again.”

  Will looked down and took one of Elyssa’s hands. “I thought… I hoped you would be consoled with the fact that people here cared for them and remembered them.” He lifted Elyssa’s hand and gently squeezed it.

  “Do you know any more about how it happened?”

  Will shook his head. “Unfortunately there were no witnesses. We know it was raining pretty hard and visibility was poor. In those conditions anything could have happened. I ordered a complete check of the car and nothing was found that might have caused it. We may never know.”

  “No, we may never know.”

  Soon they were back maneuvering through the dizzying traffic of Guatemala City. When W
ill’s phone rang, Elyssa found herself tense up and she wondered what she would hear. The last thing she wanted to hear was Will’s dictatorial demands and angry outbursts that made up the first part of their time here.

  The call was short and it was apparent to Elyssa that a meeting had been set up for first thing in the morning. A trace of irritation came through his voice, but for the most part, he was quite civil. When he hung up, he turned to her.

  “Elyssa, tomorrow, when we fly out, there are a few things -- er, several things -- I would like to talk with you about.”

  Elyssa looked at him quizzically. “When we fly out? Are you on my flight?”

  “No, I would like to fly you home on Pemberleo’s jet.”

  “Oh,” Elyssa shuddered. “I… I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.”

  “It won’t be an inconvenience. I have a meeting at seven o’clock tomorrow morning. It should last no more than an hour or an hour and a half. We’ll come by around nine o’clock to pick you up and we’ll fly out by ten. Would that work for you?”

  “Yes, my flight was at nine thirty, so I would have needed to be at the airport by seven thirty or eight. This will give me a little more time in the morning.”

  “Good. You’ll get home much sooner, too. You won’t have a lay over.”

  When they reached the townhouse, Will told Manuel he would take Elyssa’s things in while Manuel went to the Walkers’ home to find out about Maria.

  When they walked in, Elyssa again thanked Will for everything he had done.

  “Would you like to go out for something to eat before I leave?”

  Elyssa shook her head. “No, I think I would like some time alone.”

  Will reached for her hand. “I understand.” He looked around the room. “Do you have everything you want to take back with you?”

  “Yes, it’s all over there.” She pointed to the corner of the room.

  “I’ll have Manuel take it with us now to get it boxed up with the things you brought back from the lake.

  There was an awkward silence for a moment as he still held her one hand in his. When Manuel returned, Will released it. Manuel informed Elyssa that Shelley called Maria and she would be coming by in about fifteen minutes. He told her that she was really eager to meet her.

  “Good. I’m anxious to meet her as well.”

  Will pointed to the items in the corner of the room, asking Manuel to take them out to the car and that he would come out shortly.

  When Manuel left, Will turned back to Elyssa. “You’ll be OK tonight?”

  Elyssa nodded.

  “Good. If my morning meeting goes as planned, good things should come out of it.”

  He took a step closer to her. She looked up into his face and saw a glint of admiration and determination in his eyes that made her pulse skip.

  “I better go, now.”

  She watched his face draw nearer to hers, feeling as though she was watching something in slow motion. As he came to within inches of her face, he turned his head and kissed her softly on the cheek.

  “I’ll see you in the morning.” The feel of his lips on her cheek lingered, and as he spoke, she could almost feel the warmth of his breath radiate all the way down to her toes.

  “Yes,” Elyssa answered unevenly.

  He pulled away and seemed to examine every inch of her face. He then gave her a satisfied smile and turned away. “Good night, Elyssa. See you in the morning.”

  Elyssa stood motionless until he had walked out and closed the door behind him. Her fingers went up to the spot on her cheek where he had just kissed her. She found it difficult to catch her breath and her other hand went to cover her heart, but her racing pulse could be felt throughout her whole body.

  Sitting back down in the chair, Elyssa didn’t dare move. Her thoughts played over and over the moment when he kissed her. She looked about her as if in a dream. How could so much have changed since she first arrived here? Since he first arrived here?

  She had not moved from the chair when there was a slight knock on the door about fifteen minutes later. She shook herself from her reverie and stood up to answer it. Standing at the door was a young Guatemalan woman. She looked to be in her early twenties and her apparent shyness was evidenced by her cast-down eyes.

  “Hi,” Elyssa greeted her. “You must be Maria.”

  The young lady nodded and Elyssa invited her in.

  Maria was pretty with dark eyes that looked at everything but Elyssa. She walked in slowly and immediately tears filled her eyes. She dabbed at her eyes with a worn tissue and interspersed an apology between English and Spanish. “I am so sorry… lo siento… lo siento.”

  Elyssa took Maria’s arm and guided her into the living room. “I appreciate your coming… and I wanted to let you know…”

  Elyssa was halted in her words by Maria breaking down in heaving sobs. A string of unintelligible words poured forth from her mouth. All Elyssa could understand was an occasional, “I am sorry.”

  Elyssa reached for the young girl’s hand. “It’s all right, Maria. We’re all sorry.” Elyssa hoped a smile would ease the young girl’s noticeable feelings of grief and loss.

  “No… no…” Maria waved her hand excitedly. “It is my… my… oh, how do you say, mi culpa?”

  Elyssa shook her head, “I’m sorry, Maria. I don’t know what you’re trying to say.”

  “Es mi… It is my… Oh, I am so sorry!”

  Elyssa remained silent as she watched the grief and a look of fear come across the young girl’s face. “It is because… of me.”

  Elyssa’s eyes widened. “Are you saying it was your fault?”

  Maria looked up and nodded. “Yes. It was my fault.”

  “Why would you think that, Maria?” Elyssa was concerned for this apparent blame she held.

  Another string of Spanish and Elyssa had to wait until she had calmed down.

  “I am sorry. I do not know how to say… I call Janet. I was upset.”

  “You mean you called Janet at the lake?”

  Maria nodded.

  “Why were you upset?”

  Maria tightened her fists. “I am so ashamed. I loved him and thought he loved me.”

  “Who, Maria? Who did you love? What happened?”

  A raspy sigh escaped and Maria continued. “I am too ashamed to say, but Janet warned me. That night I see him with another woman and he laugh in my face when I ask him what he is doing with her.”

  “Oh, Maria. I am so sorry.”

  “I called Janet. I told her not to come home that night… that I would be all right.” Maria looked up into Elyssa’s eyes. “It was raining hard. I did not want them to drive home, but Janet… Janet said she could not stay there while I was so upset.”

  Elyssa reached for Maria’s hand. “Please don’t blame yourself, Maria. The accident was not your fault!”

  “But it was. If I had not called… if I had only listened to her warning… Janet and Chad…” Maria buried her face in her tissue. “I should never have called. I am so sorry.”

  Elyssa closed her eyes tightly. This poor girl had been blaming herself the past two months for Janet and Chad’s deaths. She softly patted Maria’s hand while she continued to cry.

  Maria slowly looked up. “You are angry with me?”

  “Oh, no, Maria. Please don’t think that. And don’t think that you are to blame. It was Janet’s kindness that prompted her to decide to come home that night. You yourself said that you told her not to come. Please, don’t blame yourself any longer. Will you do that for me?”

  Maria looked up into Elyssa’s understanding face and slowly nodded.

  “Good. Now, I would like to tell you something.”

  Elyssa explained how they had stopped at the cross and she was so pleased that Maria was faithfully making the trip out there to place flowers at the site. “It means a lot to me, Maria, that people cared for her. It means a lot that you still care enough to keep her memory fresh.”

  A small
smile appeared on Maria’s face. “You are very kind, Elyssa. Thank you. Gracias.”

  Maria stood up, wiping her eyes one more time. “I must go. My family waits.”

  Elyssa escorted her to the door. “Thank you for stopping by, Maria. I am so glad I was able to meet you.”

  Maria smiled, and said softly, “And I am glad I came.”

  Elyssa let out a long sigh as she pondered how Maria could have been carrying that weight around all this time. She wondered whether anyone else knew.

  Elyssa sat back down on the chair in the living room. She shook her head as she suddenly began to grasp just how unreasonable she had been in blaming Will for Chad and Jane’s deaths. How easily she told Maria not to blame herself and yet she had clung tenaciously to the absurdity that somehow it was Will’s fault. How could he have treated me so cordially when I so tenaciously held him responsible?

  She looked back over the day. It had taken an emotional toll on her and she didn’t think she could handle one more thing. She would rest a moment and then go visit Shelley. She needed to apprise someone of Maria’s situation.

  Elyssa leaned her head back and closed her eyes, but was prevented from any reprieve when the doorbell rang. The only person she could possibly want to see right now was Will. Her heart flip flopped at the thought that he may have returned, but in reality she suspected it was Maria who may have forgotten to tell her something.

  When she opened the door, however, it wasn’t Will. It wasn’t Maria. It was George Westham.

  Chapter 17

  “Hello, George. How are you?” Elyssa stared at the man in front of her, strangely aware that she had barely thought of him in the past few days.

  “Just fine. And yourself?”

  “Fine, thank you. Come in. How was Colombia?”

  “Thanks.” George stepped in and shook his head. “Colombia was just as I suspected. There was nothing there that needed my attention as urgently as Will made it sound. The guy needs to get a life.”

  Elyssa raised her eyebrows at his critical spirit -- especially aimed at his boss. She was surprised that she hadn’t paid attention to it before.

  George walked into the living room and casually looked around. “So, you had a pretty good time at Lake Atitlan.”