Four Meaningful Words

by A. M. Guilliams

  I almost leaped from the car. I was that excited to hold her in my arms and hear her ramble on and on about everything and nothing at all.

  I opened the door and got out, turning back to look inside the car to see if Austin had moved.

  The sight of the car seat buckled in the back seat caught my attention. A few days ago, Austin and I ventured to our local Target to make the purchase. I hadn’t realized there were so many options. We fussed over which one would be the best for Willow for over an hour, finally deciding which one to get. Seeing it sitting there made me happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I knew we were closer to having her with us. Sad because it felt like it was so far away.

  Austin finally exited the car and walked with me to the door.

  “You okay?” I asked him as I pushed the doorbell.

  “Yeah,” he said, letting out a long breath.

  “Liar. Spill it.”

  “I love seeing her, but hate having to leave. Her cries break my heart,” he admitted.

  “Mine too. It won’t be for too much longer hopefully.

  A car pulled in the driveway behind ours, gaining our attention.

  I heard Willow’s laugh from inside before I turned to see who’d arrived.

  Our caseworker got out of the vehicle and walked toward us with a flat expression on her face.

  Time stood still.

  Why was she here?

  Was it good or bad?

  Did this mean we were taking her home?

  Or, did her arrival at the same time as ours mean we weren’t allowed to have her at all?

  My mind raced with all the possibilities as she walked up the steps.

  “Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Black,” she said with a smile.

  She smiled.

  Smiles were good, right?

  “Good afternoon. How are you?” I greeted with a smile of my own.

  “I’m well. Thanks for asking,” she replied, just as the door opened and Willow and her foster mother greeted us.

  “Hi, Liz and Auftin,” she squealed in delight. She had a hard time with the letter S, and it was so cute.

  “Hi, baby,” we both said at the same time.

  “Come inside,” Jill, her foster mom, greeted as she held the door open for us to enter.

  Anita followed closely behind us, and we walked behind Jill into the family room of the home.

  I wanted to ask what was going on, but I was too afraid of the answer.

  The bags sitting beside the couch caught my attention, and my heart stopped.

  Did this mean what I thought it meant?

  Was she coming home with us today?

  I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.

  “I have a prize for you.” Willow beamed.

  “Oh yeah. What’s that?” I asked as I held back the tears. I’d wanted this for so long, to become a mother, and if she said the words I thought she would, the tears would surely come.

  “I get to go home with you today,” she screamed and ran over to me, jumping in my arms.

  I picked her up and held her close, relishing the moment.

  I was finally a mommy.

  Austin was finally a daddy.

  Officially.

  Austin wrapped his arms around both of us and kissed the tops of both of our heads.

  “Are you happy?” I asked her as the tears flowed freely down my cheeks.

  “Yes. You sad?” she asked. She took her tiny finger and touched the wetness.

  “No, I’m not sad. These are happy tears,” I told her. And they were. I was the happiest I’d been in a very long time.

  “Can we really take her home?” I turned and asked Anita, settling Willow on my hip. Now that the hope of her coming home with us had been planted, I didn’t want to leave here without her.

  “Yes, you can. I’ve heard nothing but great things about the interactions with the three of you. And seeing her reaction to yours and Austin’s arrival sealed the deal.”

  I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs, but refrained.

  We could take her home.

  This day couldn’t have been any better.

  “Do we need to sign anything?”

  “There are a few documents that you need to sign, and then you’re free to go,” Anita said, gesturing for us to take a seat while she retrieved the documents.

  I scanned each one before I scribbled my signature on the dotted line. Austin did the same, and five minutes later she was officially in our custody.

  “Are you ready to go home?”

  “With you, right?”

  “Yes, silly girl, with me and Austin,” I said as I bounced her up and down.

  “Let’s go home,” she spoke through her fits of giggles.

  Austin grabbed the two bags that were packed, and Jill said her goodbyes to us and Willow.

  “Let’s go home,” I repeated after Austin loaded the vehicle and left the house to take Willow to her forever home.

  Epilogue

  Austin

  Our little family of three had flourished so much in the past six months.

  Willow had fit right in since we’d brought her home. She loved her room with two big girl beds and the toy box we’d filled with things that fit her personality. She especially loved the teepee we’d purchased that sat in the corner of her room that Liz had added twinkle lights to. Most nights she’d curl up in her sleeping bag and fall asleep in that instead of her nice, comfy bed. We didn’t complain.

  A few weeks ago Liz was in the middle of making everyone lunch, and Willow had called for her a few times, but Liz hadn’t heard her. She screamed out the word Mommy, causing Liz to stop in her tracks. I’d never seen a smile so big appear on Liz’s face at hearing Willow call her Mom.

  Since then, Willow had stuck to calling Liz Mom. It was a joyous sound to hear coming from Willow’s happy voice.

  Today, I had a surprise for everyone.

  Our family of three was about to get bigger.

  I’d gotten a call from Anita a week ago with the news I’d been waiting for.

  A month after Willow settled in, I’d called Anita and asked her to look into something for me. She’d graciously complied, and when she found the answers I sought, she put the ball in motion to try to get me what I wanted.

  What I wanted was a brown-haired little boy named Aiden.

  Liz and I often discussed Aiden and what had become of him. I’d called and checked on him weekly at the group home. I’d even gone to visit him a time or two, but stayed in the shadows. I just needed to see how far he’d come in the past ten months. He’d gained weight, and the bruises were all healed. But he remained shy and timid. He didn’t seek people out and hardly spoke a word to any of the staff.

  It broke my heart to get those updates. He needed more one on one time. He needed someone to show him unconditional love. Aiden needed Liz and me in his life, and I did my damnedest to make sure that Anita made that possible.

  Since it was always the goal for the state to make sure that children were placed with families, it wasn’t that hard to make sure Aiden was placed in a home. Problem was, how he acted. He’d only known violence, and that was what he used to get his point across. Several parents turned down the idea of having him in their home because they wanted to ensure the safety of the other children who resided there. I knew without a doubt that Liz and I could help him overcome the issues he faced; we just needed the chance.

  I loaded Willow into her car seat and told Liz that I wanted to go for a drive to see where the road led us. We’d started to take days and do this very thing. Sometimes we ended up shopping, others we ended up at the beach and walked the shore, finding seashells and watching Willow run from the waves.

  We drove the short drive to the group home, and Liz had a questioning look on her face upon arriving.

  “What are we doing here?” she asked as she turned in the passenger seat to face me.

  “You’ll see,” I eluded as I got out of the car and opened
the back door to help Willow out of her seat. I picked her up and waited for Liz.

  She was reluctant to get out, but she complied and walked beside me across the parking lot to the front door.

  When we got to the door, I hit the buzzer and announced our arrival to the person at the front desk. They were expecting us. Anita was already inside waiting for us to arrive. I had to park on the opposite side of the parking lot to make sure Liz didn’t recognize her vehicle.

  The buzzer sounded signaling we could go inside. I knew Liz would love the surprise, but right now her mind was in overdrive. I knew her all too well. She said she loved surprises, but she loved giving them more than being on the receiving end.

  We walked to the front desk and signed in. The attendant called down for Anita, and I peeked over at Liz. Her brow was raised, but she remained silent.

  Anita walked down the stark white hallway and greeted us, motioning for us to follow her. I was thankful that I was the one carrying Willow. She was about to get the shock of a lifetime.

  Anita led us to a playroom at the front of the building. She opened the door and held it, waiting for Liz and me to enter first.

  I looked over at Liz, who glanced around the empty room. The moment she spotted him, she gasped.

  “That’s not who I think it is, is it?” she whispered as she covered her mouth with her hands in surprise.

  “It is,” I confirmed her suspicion.

  “Does this mean what I think it means? Don’t toy with my emotions, Austin. I can’t take it,” she pleaded. Ever since she’d seen his picture, I knew Aiden wasn’t far from her thoughts. She’d asked about him often, and a somber look appeared on her face when I told her he wasn’t adjusting as well as they’d hoped in the group home.

  “It does. Anita and I have worked very hard for the past six months at making this possible. We can start the integration process today if you’re up for it,” I suggested, knowing what her answer would be.

  “I’ve always wanted him in our lives. Not having him there now that I know it’s a possibility isn’t an option,” she stated.

  She walked toward Aiden, who sat at a table coloring. He didn’t even look up when we entered the room.

  She sat across the table from him and watched him work hard at choosing the right color for the picture on the page. I walked over and stood beside her with Willow in my arms. She wiggled to get down, and I complied, making sure she had her footing before I let her go.

  “Hi, I Willow,” she said as she sat in the chair beside him.

  This could go one of two ways. He’d retreat into himself, or he’d open up to her and us in due time.

  He tensed a little when Willow leaned over to grab a crayon, but his shoulders dropped when she sat in her chair and grabbed one of the other coloring books.

  They colored in silence for a while as Liz and I watched.

  By the end of the hour, they were swapping crayons and helping each other color. They hadn’t spoken another word, seeming to know what the other wanted without stating it aloud.

  “Hi, Aiden, I’m Liz,” my wife finally spoke just before the end of our hour with him. I wanted more time, but the rules were the rules. We didn’t want to overwhelm him.

  “Hi,” he whispered without looking up from his page.

  “Would you like us to come back and visit sometime?” she asked.

  A crayon rolled off the table and hit the floor.

  Cautiously, Liz leaned over and picked it up.

  She could’ve sat it on the table. Instead, she chose to place the crayon in the palm of her hand and hold it out to him.

  Warily, he reached over and took the crayon from her. His tiny hand trembled the whole time, but he’d interacted with her. That was a good sign.

  Liz didn’t push him to talk. She just sat there in silence, waiting for the right time to approach him. She’d worked with children for years as a teacher before she quit to pursue her dream of writing. She had a way with getting children to open up, and as I watched her slowly break down the walls of this fragile little boy, I became even more amazed at the abilities of the woman I loved.

  Whereas Willow opened up to her right away, she’d have her work cut out with Aiden. But I knew Liz. She wouldn’t back down until he knew he was a member of our growing family.

  We said our goodbyes to Aiden, making sure he knew we were coming back to see him next week. He’d had too many people leave his life in the last year. He needed consistency and he’d receive just that when it came to us.

  Willow being Willow, she walked up to him and hugged him without permission.

  Liz and I waited with bated breath to see his reaction.

  He hugged her back and held on a little longer than we thought he would before he let her go.

  He actually hugged her back. That was huge for a child that had gone through the abuse Aiden had. He hadn’t let any of the caretakers touch him the entire time he was here, but being with Willow for an hour he’d opened up just a little to her.

  We turned around to leave, and Anita was in the doorway with a smile on her face.

  “I don’t know what you three did in there, but that was magic. He’s never let anyone sit that close to him the entire time he’s been here. They’ve had to sit him at a table by himself to have his meals because he can’t handle someone in his personal space. How do you feel after meeting with him?” Anita asked once we had started in the direction of the front door.

  “My heart breaks for him, but I want him in our lives. He’s had a special place in my heart for so long. When Austin said he didn’t think we’d have the opportunity to get him, I let the idea go, but I’ve never forgotten him,” Liz said as she held Willow’s tiny hand in her own.

  “It may take a little longer for the integration process, but I’m pleased with the first encounter, and have no doubt he’ll be in your home where I can tell he belongs,” Anita confirmed.

  I was so glad that I didn’t let this go. I knew without a shadow of a doubt since we began the journey into foster parenting to adopt that Aiden would become part of our family. Meeting with him today and seeing him up close confirmed all of my feelings. It made the past six months of fighting for this worth it.

  ***

  Three months later, Aiden came to our home to live.

  He had a long way to go and still had a hard time with someone showing him affection, but Liz and I both made sure to tell him multiple times a day that he was loved.

  Our little family of three was now a family of four.

  And to think, we wouldn’t have gotten here without four meaningful words beginning our future and four meaningful words threatening to end it all.

  The best four meaningful words for me to hear now were, “I love you, Daddy.” Those four words made everything we’d gone through, the good and the bad, worth it.

  A Note From The Author

  Thank you so much for taking the time to ready Four Meaningful Words. I love Austin and Elizabeth and I hope you did too. I’d love it if you’d take the opportunity to leave a review.

  xoxo,

  Amanda

  Also, if you don’t want to miss out on any new releases you can join my newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/bBuiHf

  Sneak Peak of Desolate

  Prologue

  A FUN FILLED DAY AT the fair was in order. My parents’, my best friend Jessica, and I were all headed down to the local county fair, and I honestly couldn’t wait. It was the first year they were going to let us walk around by ourselves. We were fourteen and my parents’ had relented on us being by ourselves in the park full of people. If you asked me, we could’ve done this last year, but they hadn’t seen it that way. According to them, it was too dangerous.

  As soon as we’d gotten to the park, Jessica and I told my mom and dad that we’d meet them back at the front gate in a couple of hours and set off to go ride some rides.

  I didn’t want to ruin my parents’ trust, so we did what we told them we would do. We ro
de the Ferris wheel, numerous other rides, ate junk food, and now we were just walking around the park. It was amazing the amount of freedom I felt at that moment. Just the two of us getting to enjoy the park and do what we wanted, when we wanted was amazing.

  The second Jessica saw the sign she immediately begged to go inside. I was skeptical because I didn’t believe in that sort of thing, but I relented because it did sound like fun.

  Fortune Teller.

  The space felt magical the moment we walked through the curtain. There was a sign in the corner listing all the types of things that she could do. I’d never heard of any, but they sounded interesting. There’s no way that someone could read your future from your hand or a card, but I’d play along for Jessica’s sake at least.

  “How can I help you young ladies today?” the Fortune Teller asked.

  “We would both like our palm read,” Jessica replied with a giggle.

  She walked up to the lady first while I stayed back due to nerves. There was just something about the lady that gave me the heebie jeebies. She looked ordinary enough while dressed in a white top and a multicolored gypsy style skirt. Numerous amounts of bangles donned her wrists and both ears were pierced all the way to the top. None of that fazed me. It was the look in her eyes. They were black and soulless. Everything about her screamed evil to me, but I pushed it down. After all, what could it hurt? Fortune Tellers were all fake anyways.

  “Let’s see what we have here,” she replied while taking ahold of Jessica’s outreached hand.

  She gazed down at her hand for a second or two then back up at Jessica, concern written all over her face. Only it didn’t appear genuine. I could smell the gimmick from here.

  “It looks like you will have a short life, my young friend,” the Fortune Teller responded.

  What? Was she for real?

  This lady was nuts. Jessica did nothing but laugh and motioned for me to go next.

  “Come on Magdalena. You know you want to,” she whined as she placed her hands on her hips. This girl knew how to get me to do anything that she wanted since we became friends.