Spar

by Nikko Lee

  Tyler could only spare a few glances at Jaime as he had his hands full with Steve and Bill. They were both going for their brown belts and control took second place to the desire to win. Tyler had to stop their match several times and warn them to clean up their techniques. They had more enthusiasm than accuracy.

  “Switch.”

  At Sensei Melissa’s command, the testing students shuffled. This time Jaime ended up with one of the kids. Eddy was a scrawny thirteen-year-old who had joined a few weeks after Jaime. The boy was so awkward Jaime had to concentrate on making sure they didn’t end up on the floor in a heap instead of focusing on his technique.

  Tyler thought Jaime was going to avoid fighting one of the other guys when Sensei Melissa rearranged the groups.

  “Steve, switch with Eddy.”

  * * * *

  It had been ages since Jaime had tested. No matter how many times he had faced a panel of black belts who judged his every move, Jaime was still nervous. He was used to drawing attention, usually the negative kind. Being judged was a state he was familiar with, but this time he wanted to live up to the expectation he saw in Sempai Tyler’s eyes. The kindness in his eyes and the way he treated Jaime made him feel like anything was possible, even if Jaime wasn’t so certain. For Sempai Tyler, Jaime wanted to be better than he even believed he could be.

  Everything was going according to every other grading that Jaime had taken part in. Over the years he’d spent in judo, Jaime had become familiar with the drill of testing. Basics at a blistering pace. Forms repeated ad nauseam. History and philosophy questions that were designed to challenge even the highest ranks. Jaime had done his best not to stumble or look like a total idiot. All things considered, Jaime was surprised at how well it was going. He hadn’t fallen on his face or made a complete fool out of himself with a rambling answer about what karate meant to him at his early belt rank. Even the sparring, the last event of testing, was going surprisingly well. That was until Sensei Melissa decided to pair Jaime with Steve.

  Jaime bowed to Eddy, his previous partner, and shook his hand. The knowledge of his next opponent brought back the nerves that were plaguing him at the beginning of the test. The scowl on Steve’s face wasn’t a surprise. With a muttered acknowledgment of Sensei Melissa’s command, Steve stalked over to Jaime. The closer he neared the more menacing his posture became. No doubt he was trying to intimidate Jaime, and it was working. Jaime hoped Sensei Melissa wouldn’t let things get out of control. Jaime instinctively looked for Sempai Tyler; he would protect Jaime if things got out of hand. Unfortunately, he was all the way on the other side of the room, supervising Eddy and Bill. Jaime was on his own, like he had been most of his life. With a deep breath, Jaime looked Steve in the eyes as they bowed and tried to judge how pissed off he was.

  “Hajime.”

  The word went off like a shotgun in Jaime’s head. Steve launched into an attack as soon as he came up from his shallow bow. The hours Jaime had spent sparring with Sempai Tyler had improved his distance and timing. Jaime stumbled backward just out of range of Steve’s attack. Frustrated by being robbed of the hit, Steve kept coming at full steam, sending Jaime across the dojo floor. When Jaime’s back hit the wall, his concentration wavered. The next thing Jaime knew, Steve’s fist hit him. Jaime felt the sticky warmth of blood trickling from the fresh wound. Pain flared and tears gathered in his eyes, but he refused to cry. Crying only fed idiots like Steve. Jaime sniffed the hurt. He didn’t even want to see the disappointment he knew would be in Sempai Tyler’s eyes. All the time he’d spent with Jaime had been wasted.

  “Control, Steve,” Sempai Tyler shouted.

  Sempai Tyler sounded about ready to bound across the dojo and kick the crap out of someone. For a moment, Jaime wondered how personally Sempai Tyler would take Jaime’s failure. When Jaime dared look up, he didn’t see disappointment in Sempai Tyler’s eyes. Instead he saw the same challenge Jaime had seen so many nights after class. It was almost like the man was daring Jaime to take Steve to the mats and make him pay for his lack of control.

  This time, when the two squared off at the center of the room, Jaime thought about doing just that. The idea of pinning a homophobe like Steve brought a smirk to his lips. Steve didn’t take too kindly to that. He lunged at Jaime so quickly, Jaime had no choice but to step back again. It was all a matter of getting his timing down. Jaime counted the gaps between Steve’s attacks. He just needed time to find an opening. Before he could take another step back, Sempai Tyler stepped directly behind Jaime. Unable to move back, Jaime moved to the side as Steve launched a wild haymaker. The movement was so fluid and familiar that Jaime instinctively returned a shot to Steve’s ribs. The contact was so sweet and solid it sent Steve to one knee with a stunned expression. Jaime only had a few seconds to enjoy the exhilaration of the strike when he saw Steve’s face twisted in anger. Now he’d done it. The tool was going to kill him. Jaime braced himself for a real fight.

  * * * *

  Before Tyler could move to step in, Sensei Melissa gave him a stern look and shook her head. The urge to protect Jaime was so strong, he actually contemplated disregarding Sensei Melissa’s unspoken warning. Instead, Tyler forced his body to still and mentally willed Jaime to stand up for himself. It was something every student needed to learn to do. Unless Steve got out of hand, Tyler had to step back and watch. Knowing that fact didn’t make it any easier.

  It felt like an eternity before Jaime finally found his groove. With every shot he blocked or avoided, his confidence grew. His keen eyes caught Steve’s movements as they grew more exaggerated and obvious with his growing frustration. Steve wasn’t holding anything back. But instead of cowering, Jaime moved quicker than Steve. He struck Steve with a natural ease that was free of self-doubt and self-consciousness.

  Pride spiked in his chest.

  “That’s it,” Tyler mumbled as Jaime swept Steve’s leading leg out from underneath him.

  Steve didn’t even know he was going down until he hit the ground. Jaime smirked as he stood over Steve.

  “What the…” Steve looked ready to kill as he shot up from his knees.

  “Yame.” Sensei Melissa’s voice boomed through the dojo so loud, everyone froze.

  Despite her command to stop, Steve charged Jaime. He didn’t get far before Tyler grabbed Steve’s gi collar and yanked him backward. Off-balance and caught off-guard, Steve’s momentum came to a stop.

  “Sensei said ‘yame’.” The words caught on Tyler’s front teeth as he fought the urge to slam Steve to the ground. Losing control now wouldn’t be a very good example. “It’s over.”

  “But he swept me.” Steve’s face beamed red, a mixture of shame and anger. “That’s a brown belt technique.”

  “Consider that your introduction to the technique,” Sensei Melissa called from the front of the class. “Line up.”

  As the other students ran to form the line, Jaime and Steve remained frozen in place. Tyler wondered if he was going to have to break up a real fight instead of a sparring match. Steve didn’t look like he wanted to back off, and Jaime had that wild look in his eyes as if he was expecting round two. After a few tense seconds, Jaime bowed to Steve and took his position in line. Steve’s muscles clenched beneath Tyler’s hold. If he attacked Jaime now, Sensei Melissa would kick him out of the dojo without hesitation.

  “It’s over unless you choose to keep it going.” Tyler relaxed his grip, prepared to drag Steve out of the dojo, kicking and screaming if he made so much as a move toward Jaime.

  Steve looked Tyler over, but the man didn’t look ready to square off against Tyler and he knew it.

  “Hai, Sempai,” he muttered before joining the rest of the line. His eyes bore into Jaime’s back as he walked.

  Everyone passed the testing, although Sensei Melissa spent nearly ten minutes talking about the importance of not underestimating an opponent. She added a few words about self-mastery being a prerequisite to mastering the art of combat. Though she spoke to th
e entire class, Steve’s head hung so low he might as well have been receiving a personal browbeating. Tyler’s temper had propelled him into stupidity more than a few times. He just hoped Steve could get control of it before he did something he would regret. Even though the guy wasn’t at the top of Tyler’s list of favorite people, he still wanted to see Steve take the right path.

  After Sensei Melissa handed out the new belts, class was dismissed. Then the congratulations began in earnest. It was customary for every student to congratulate the newly promoted students. Tyler kept an eye on everyone, especially Steve, to make sure there were no hard feelings.

  “It isn’t easy to let people stand on their own,” Sensei Melissa said as she joined Tyler in observing the students celebrate. “Jaime is improving.”

  A broad smile swept across Tyler’s face as he thought of Jaime and knew he had some part in it. As he expected, Steve was the last to congratulate Jaime. They two shook hands, and Steve uttered hollow congratulations despite Jaime’s genuine words about it being a good fight.

  “What about Steve?” Tyler asked.

  “Watch him.” Sensei Melissa’s tone turned serious. “If he cannot control himself, he is not ready to train in this dojo.”

  “Hai, Sensei.”

  Tyler followed behind Sensei Melissa as she congratulated each student. She always had a compliment and a point of improvement to offer. It was a tradition that her husband had started and one Tyler was glad she continued. He still remembered fondly those rare personal moments with Sensei Hunt that always made Tyler feel like a member of Sensei Hunt’s family rather than a customer. The formal handshake was always followed with a warm embrace.

  “Congratulations.” Tyler shook Jaime’s hand when Sensei Melissa moved toward the next student. “How’s the eye?”

  Jaime looked confused for a moment then reached up to feel the cut above his eye that was crusted over with dried blood.

  “Guess, I shouldn’t have let him back me up.”

  “Exactly.”

  Tyler patted Jaime’s shoulder. It was always so awkward to give another guy a hug, especially Jaime. The physical proximity without the distraction of sparring was suddenly unnerving. Tradition and the desire not to single Jaime out overcame Tyler’s hesitation. When he put his arms around Jaime, he was surprised at how natural it felt. Jaime’s soft hair brushed against Tyler’s cheek. They were so connected. They could have been grappling. Without the need to defend or attack, Tyler was even more aware of the racing of his heart and the shallowness of his breathing. It had never been that way with any of the other guys. With Jaime, it was different, more intimate somehow. Tyler tried to convince himself it was because he knew for Jaime it could mean something more. Tyler pulled away abruptly and moved on to congratulate Eddy and the rest of the students.

  * * * *

  “Jaime,” Sensei Melissa called, just as he was getting the last of his congratulations from the other students.

  It was all a little overwhelming between the grudge match with Steve, passing testing, and Sempai Tyler’s congratulation; Jaime was about ready to go home and call it a night. His body ached—not the least from the shots Steve had gotten in. Sempai Tyler’s stilted but affectionate embrace had kindled all the sensations Jaime had wanted to avoid when it came to his favorite sempai. It was just too easy to sink into those secure and accepting arms. More than once Jaime had to remind himself how one sided those emotions were. It was better he focused on his training.

  “Hai, Sensei.” Jaime jogged over to his teacher.

  “You’ve come a long way in the last few weeks.”

  Sensei Melissa’s compliment wasn’t one Jaime could accept completely.

  “Sempai Tyler has been helping me with my sparring,” Jaime admitted. Sempai Tyler deserved a lot of credit for any improvement Jaime had shown.

  “Indeed.” Sensei Melissa smiled that knowing smile all senseis had. Jaime wondered how much she could read about him. “But not many students are willing to put in the time you have. Seizing the opportunity is as important as having it. You should give yourself credit at least for that.”

  “Hai, Sensei.” It was the first time Jaime had felt like he’d earned the compliment. “I am grateful for the opportunity to train.”

  “Good.” Sensei Melissa motioned for Jaime to stand beside her. “Let’s get started on your next kata. Let’s make sure you have every opportunity to excel.”

  By the time Jaime had finished learning half of his next kata, the dojo floor had emptied. It wasn’t until Jaime had bowed to Sensei Melissa and headed toward the changing rooms that Jaime spotted Sempai Tyler waiting for him. Jaime was still trying to go over the moves in his head, fearful he’d forget them if he didn’t.

  “How do you like your new kata?” Tyler asked as they headed to the changing room together.

  “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to remember it.”

  “We’ll work on it.”

  “Hai, Sempai.”

  In the changing room, Randy and Steve were getting dressed. They were talking about sparring when Steve stopped midsentence at the sight of Jaime. Jaime should have known there would be other guys in the changing room. It was one thing to change with Sempai Tyler, who was cool with Jaime’s sexual orientation. Jaime could easily have guessed at the slurs running through Steve’s head as soon as he saw Jaime.

  “Where do you think you are going, twink?” Steve dropped his gi top and looked ready to take up where he’d left off at the end of their sparring match. Twink was probably about the least offensive name Jaime expected to hear. Maybe the guy was trying a little restraint. Very little.

  Sempai Tyler gave Jaime a confused look that quickly morphed into something far more protective. He might not have understood the insult, but he certainly understood the threat. The tone alone was enough to make Jaime bristle even though he had expected worse. It was time to make a strategic exit.

  “I’ll just grab my bag,” Jaime said with his eyes fixed on the floor. He started toward his gym bag but didn’t get far.

  “Watch your mouth.” Sempai Tyler stepped between Jaime and Steve.

  There was no way Steve was going to get past him to Jaime. The gesture would have made Jaime blush if it also didn’t mean he couldn’t make as hasty of a retreat as he intended. He just hoped Sempai Tyler wasn’t going to do anything stupidly noble. Something told Jaime that was exactly the kind of guy Sempai Tyler was, which didn’t help him on the not-blushing front.

  “Just because he walloped your butt in sparring doesn’t mean he wants any more of you than that.” Sempai Randy broke the tension with a deep laugh. “Don’t worry, Sempai Tyler and I will protect you if he tries anything.”

  “He didn’t beat me. He cheated.” Steve turned on Sempai Randy, who looked as concerned with putting on his socks as he was with Steve’s anger.

  “You’re just pissed you didn’t think of it first.” Sempai Randy pulled on his other sock. “You’re done changing anyway.”

  With an indignant huff, Steve grabbed his bag and headed out of the changing room. Jaime hid behind Sempai Tyler. At least he felt safe with the man so close. Just in case Steve tried anything, Jaime was convinced he would be protected. Steve gave him the nastiest glare as he passed. It wasn’t until Steve was out the dojo door that Sempai Tyler relaxed.

  “He’s such a hot head.” Sempai Randy shook his head as he stood.

  “I shouldn’t have come in here.” Jaime kept his eyes on the floor. This was the kind of trouble he aimed to avoid. “I didn’t want any trouble.”

  When no one said anything else, Jaime looked up to see a scowl firmly set on Sempai Tyler’s face. He looked angry enough to take a swing at someone, and Jaime was the closest someone. Suddenly Jaime didn’t feel so safe. Why was Sempai Tyler pissed at him?

  “Well, you are here now. So you might as well get changed.” Sempai Randy gave Jaime a reassuring smile. “We’re going over to Chummy’s to celebrate Sarah’s acceptance into law s
chool. She won’t forgive me if I don’t get you to come out with us.”

  Jaime nodded when he couldn’t think of a good excuse to get out of going. Besides, he liked Sarah. It wasn’t often Jaime got to celebrate such an accomplishment. Usually his reasons for celebrating were far more trivial. An extra track laid or a session without some metal head cracking an amp was enough reason for Jaime to head to the bar. At least if he went with Sarah, Sempai Randy, and Sempai Tyler, he was far less likely to go looking for someone to take home. After avoiding the bars and the one-night stands that usually capped the night for the last three months, Jaime didn’t want to mar his record. If he devoted his attention to Sarah, Jaime could bend his no bar rule without risking his resolution.

  “Sarah can be pretty scary when she’s angry,” Jaime added. “I wouldn’t want to disappoint her.”

  “Tell me about it.” Sempai Randy relaxed back on the bench. “Tyler, you going in your gi, or are you going to get changed?”

  Sempai Tyler was still in the same position he had been in when Steve threatened Jaime.

  “Gis in public are so last year.” Sempai Tyler’s attempt at a joke fell flat. Something was definitely bothering Sempai Tyler, and Jaime was starting to think it had less to do with Steve and more with something he did or didn’t do. “Give me a couple of minutes.”

  “Right.” Sempai Randy stood up. “I’ll go tell Sarah.”

  Normally, Jaime had no problem being alone with Sempai Tyler. He couldn’t shake the feeling he was the cause of the man’s foul mood. Only he wasn’t even sure what he’d done. He’d never seen Sempai Tyler like this. Instead of the easy feeling usually surrounding him, Sempai Tyler was consumed by a dark cloud. Jaime didn’t even dare say anything lest he make things worse. He resolved to keep quiet while he changed.