“Beth, honey, let’s go get the rest of the animals.” Donna and Beth made a few more trips out to their van, then set up the stands and perches needed for the presentation.
“Kids are coming,” Linda said, as the noise in the lobby increased. “Let’s get ’em seated.”
For the next fifteen minutes, dozens of kids and parents came in. Val was surprised to see little Ian, followed closely by Lily, as they tried to get seats close to the front. She glanced around for their mother and saw her way in the back of the room, slouched against the wall and looking at her phone. Well, at least she was here.
“Hello, Valerie.” Val turned and came face-to-face with Paige from the MAPP class. “I didn’t know you worked at this library. I promise I’m not stalking you—we came for the animals.” Paige was smiling and holding the hand of a little girl.
“Oh, hey,” Val said, trying to hide her surprise and slight unease at seeing Paige in a different context…and on her turf.
“This is my daughter, Emma.” The girl smiled shyly and waved hello. “We’re trying to find a seat—you’ve got a full house.”
“Well, if you’d like Emma to be up close, there’s a seat there in the second row, right in the middle,” Val said, pointing.
“Emma, are you okay sitting up there without me? I’ll be right over here.”
“Sure, Mommy. I wanna see up close.”
“Go on, then.” Paige gave her daughter a quick hug and watched her scamper off to the seat.
“How old is she?” Val asked.
“Eight going on thirty,” Paige replied, with an exasperated roll of the eyes. “She loves animals and demanded that I bring her today.”
“She’s a cutie. Love all those dark curls.”
“Thanks. I would’ve killed for hair like hers when I was younger—mine’s as straight as a pin.”
“Looks pretty good to me.” Paige looked at her in surprise, and Val realized that she had spoken out loud.
“Um, thanks.”
“So, yeah…thanks for coming. I’ve got to get ready to start the program,” Val said, her cheeks hot.
“Okay,” Paige replied, amused at Val’s chagrin but also shocked that the usually reticent and antisocial woman had complimented her. Her surprise grew as she watched Val interacting with the children and parents. She was friendly and warm as she greeted everyone and helped kids get seated. She even cleared a space for a couple of moms to park their massive strollers. And when she smiled, she was utterly gorgeous.
At the top of the hour, Val stepped to the front of the room and got everyone’s attention. “Hi, boys and girls. Thanks for coming today and bringing your grown-ups along.” A few children laughed. “Make sure they behave and are really quiet during our presentation, so the animals don’t get scared, okay?” The room erupted in giggles, and the kids shushed their parents and each other.
“I’d like to introduce you to Mama Dee, wildlife rehabilitator and expert. She’s brought along several of her friends to show you today. Remember, listen closely, because at the end of the program, I’ll be asking you some questions. There may even be prizes involved. So if you’re ready, give me a silent cheer.” Val pumped her arms in the air, and the audience copied her. Then she stepped aside, and the presenter took over.
Paige smiled as Val moved to stand beside her again. “Well done,” she whispered. “You sure have a way with children.”
Val shrugged. “Thanks. Kids are easy. It’s adults who give me fits.”
“Hmm. I think I know what you mean.”
Do you? Val regarded Paige for a moment, then turned her attention to the animals.
* * *
Val tried to focus on the kids taking turns petting a reticulated python, but her gaze kept returning to Paige. She was wearing navy shorts, a white sleeveless polo shirt, and white slip-on sandals. A single silver bangle adorned her wrist, and around her neck she wore a silver chain with a blue blown-glass pendant. Even her blond hair, pulled back into a simple ponytail at the nape of her neck, managed to look elegant. Conspicuous in its absence was any ring on her left hand, although why in the world Val was noticing that was beyond her. Paige was watching her daughter with a look of indulgent affection on her face, and she was beautiful.
Pulling her gaze away, Val looked to where Ian and Lily were sitting. Lily had her arm along the back of Ian’s chair in her typical protective way, but she was chatting animatedly with the girl to her right, the one with the dark, curly hair. Paige’s daughter. The girls seemed to have hit it off and were now oohing and aahing over the chinchilla Donna was showing.
Val marveled at how young children could be so accepting and without judgment—Emma, with her hair neatly contained in a sparkly headband, wearing a perfectly matched outfit and high-end sneakers, had no issue being friendly with Lily, whose hair and clothes were messy and stank of cigarette smoke. Val realized, with a pang of guilt, that she had not given the same acceptance to Paige. She had judged her based on her hair and clothes, thinking her stuck-up and rude, when in reality, Paige had been nothing but kind to her. Val looked over to Paige and caught her looking back, a smile on her lovely face. Val smiled in return, deciding that it couldn’t hurt to be a little nicer.
Chapter Six
By the sixth MAPP class, Paige was really beginning to enjoy the experience. Her confidence was growing, and she liked sharing her knowledge to help people. She’d been a nervous wreck initially, but Connie made everything easier, and the members of the class were, for the most part, enjoyable to work with.
Paige also noticed that Val had softened considerably and seemed to be enjoying the class as well. She had buddied up nicely with Ellen, who was happy to share her wealth of experience, along with a plate of homemade baked goods each week. Val was talking to others during breaks and even offering genuine smiles to everyone, especially, it seemed, to her. That made Val even more attractive, if that was possible.
Tonight’s class had been rather emotional, as they watched video clips of interviews with actual foster children. The sadness, confusion, and anger the kids felt was painfully obvious, but so was their resilience, hopefulness and desire for a loving family and a chance to start over. She’d glanced over toward Val frequently during the presentation, and she had seen wave after wave of different emotions crossing Val’s face. At one point, Val had even wiped away tears while Ellen patted her hand.
At the break, Paige went to sit by Val and offered her a brownie. “So, those videos are tough to watch, huh?”
Val looked at her sharply for a moment, then dropped her gaze. “Yeah. Brought back some memories I didn’t really want to relive.” She left it at that and took a bite of her brownie.
“I remember how Emma was when she came to me, like it was yesterday. She was terrified of every noise, every stranger, and it took a long time to get her to trust that I was safe. She didn’t sleep through the night until she was nearly three. I can’t imagine what she experienced in that first year of her life, but it must’ve been very traumatic.”
Val nodded. “People think babies don’t know what’s going on and will just get over stuff quickly. That is so not true.” She shook her head and sighed, then looked quickly at Paige. “Wait, your daughter was a foster kid?”
“Yep. I used to work for CPS and got really overwhelmed with all the crappy situations kids were dealing with. I wanted to do more than just be the one to remove kids or issue ultimatums to neglectful parents, so I became a foster parent. Emma was my first and only placement.”
“Why only?” Val asked.
“Emma needed a lot of time and attention, and I wanted to just focus on her. I wouldn’t be opposed to another foster child now, though.”
“I heard that,” Connie said, placing a hand on Paige’s shoulder and giving Val’s ponytail a tug with the other. “Anytime you’re ready for more, let me know.” She winked at Paige, then turned her attention to Val. “It’s your turn for the home study this week. You said Wednesday af
ternoons were good, right?”
“Right. I get out of work at three,” Val replied.
“Well, then, how about I head over to your place around three thirty this Wednesday?”
Val nodded. “Okay.”
“Good. It’s a date. I’ll look forward to catching up with you.” Connie snagged a brownie off the plate Ellen was passing around. “Aren’t these things the bomb?” She grinned and flitted off to talk to someone else.
Paige smiled. “She’s a trip, isn’t she?”
“Yeah. That woman saved my life, in more ways than one.” Val looked after Connie fondly.
“How so, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“When I was a teenager, she saw past all my attitude and genuinely cared, when most people didn’t want anything to do with me. I was what a polite person would call a handful.”
“And an impolite person?” Paige teased.
“A royal pain in the ass,” Val replied with a self-deprecating shake of her head. “I’d argue just to argue, break the rules just to get a reaction. I wasn’t mean, just defiant.”
“I’m guessing you had a good reason, though. Kids usually don’t throw around a bad attitude for nothing.”
Val looked at Paige appraisingly. “It’s nice to talk to someone who gets that there is always a reason behind a kid’s actions.”
Paige nodded. “I’ve learned a lot about that over the years, from my work and even from my own childhood.” She looked down at her hands. “Children are virtually powerless. When they are mistreated, they’ll fight back with the only weapon they have—their behavior.”
“Truer words were never spoken,” Val replied. “Did you have a tough time as a kid?”
Paige shook her head, trying to remove the memories that had cropped up. “Let’s just say it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.” She stood up and nodded toward Connie. “Looks like break’s over.”
* * *
Val had only been home for ten minutes when her doorbell rang. She gave her living room one more glance to be sure it was tidy, still in disbelief that this was happening. Connie Smart, of all people, was about to judge the suitability of her home for foster care. She ran a hand through her hair, took a deep breath, and opened the door. Connie stood there, a huge grin on her face.
“Well, hello there. This is so exciting, visiting you in your very own home,” she said, as she breezed in the door and gave Val a hug. “It’s an adorable little house. Ooh, I love those hardwood floors.” Connie proceeded to give herself a tour, exclaiming at everything as she went. Val just grinned and followed. Once Connie had peeked in every room, they went back to the living room and sat on the couch.
“It’s nice to have you here,” Val said. “Bet you never thought you’d see the day that I would have my own house.”
“Nonsense,” Connie replied. “I always knew you had it in you to be successful and make a good life for yourself. You just had to learn to get out of your own way.”
“Yeah, well, I try. Still isn’t easy sometimes.” Val suddenly felt like a teenager again, wanting to spill her guts to Connie. She was one of the only people she’d ever felt safe talking to about her feelings, besides Sasha.
“Tell me what you’ve been up to. The last time we got together, you were heading off to college,” Connie said, settling in for a story with an expectant smile on her face.
Val felt a stab of guilt. Had she really gone so long without reaching out to this wonderful person who had been so important to her? “I’m sorry.”
“For what, love?”
“Once I left for school, I didn’t look back for a long time. I should have done a better job of keeping in touch.”
“Oh, honey, of course you didn’t look back. College was your ticket, your clean slate. I’m so proud of you.” Connie squeezed Val’s hand, and Val felt tears coming.
“How come you always make me feel good about myself when I think I’m rotten?”
“What can I say? It’s a gift,” Connie replied with a gentle smile. “So tell me about college.”
“Ithaca was pretty amazing. When I first got there, I had a hard time. Kept to myself a lot and basically lived in the library. My roommate was nice, though, and she eventually got me to go out and meet people.”
“Good for you.”
“She moved in with her boyfriend after the first year, so I ended up with a new roommate. Things got really interesting then.” Val felt herself blush.
“Oh, really,” Connie teased. “Do tell.”
“Well, she was a lesbian, and she kind of made it her mission to hook me up. If I had any doubts about being gay before meeting Dillon, I sure didn’t for long.” Connie laughed, and Val warmed to telling her story. “Dillon introduced me to the LGBTQ group on campus, drove us over to the gay bars in the city on weekends, and finally made me feel okay about coming out. She was pretty awesome.” Val laughed aloud at a memory. “She used to tell me that if every librarian was as hot as me, all lesbians would be prolific readers.”
“Sounds like she was a good person for you. Do you still see her?” Connie asked.
“Nah. She met the love of her life and moved to Seattle. Last I heard, she was on the third love of her life and living in San Francisco.”
“Oh, my.” Connie laughed. “Glad you weren’t dating her.”
“Yeah, dodged a bullet there, right? Dillon is amazing, just not the settling down type.”
“So what about your studies? You know, the actual reason you went to college?” Connie teased.
“I graduated with a 3.8 GPA and was hired right out of school. Not bad, eh?” Val couldn’t help but feel pride in her accomplishments.
“Not bad at all,” Connie replied. “Did I mention that I’m proud of you?”
“Thanks. You helped, too. You always encouraged me. Remember when you said that if I bust my ass, I can do anything?”
Connie chuckled. “Sage advice.” She glanced at her watch. “We’d better get to the home study or we’ll be here all night tripping down memory lane. I can see that you have a suitable, clean home, with room for two children at a time.”
Val swallowed. “Uh-huh.”
“Tell me how you plan to provide childcare if young children are placed with you.”
Val swallowed again. This was getting real. “Well, there’s that daycare center two blocks away from work. I would contact them first.”
“Good. We have lots of families that have sent their foster kids there. It’s a terrific organization. What about your job? Would they be flexible if you had to miss work for a sick child, or for court?” Connie asked.
“Yes, I think so. Plus I have a great assistant who can take care of things if I’m out.”
“Excellent.” Connie handed Val a thick blue binder. “This has all the information you’ll need about the county’s requirements and policies, contact numbers, forms and such. Read through it.” She sat back, crossed her legs, and looked Val in the eye. “Now, the most important thing. Why do you want to become a foster parent?”
Val took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She’d been formulating this response for weeks, and it always came down to one reason. “Megan.”
“Ah.” Connie knew. Everyone who had been involved in the foster care system back then knew about Megan, but Val had actually been in the same foster home and shared a room with the girl when it happened.
“She still haunts me, you know?” The beautiful, broken little girl, failed by the system, unable to escape her abuser, dead at the age of twelve. They had been in a home with too many kids, too much chaos. No one would believe that the oldest boy, their foster parents’ own biological son, was a monster. He was perfect in everyone’s eyes, a model student, star athlete, altar boy. Of course no one had a problem with letting him babysit some of the kids while his parents carted foster kids to appointments or ran errands. But Val had known that something wasn’t quite right, that Megan was afraid of him.
“He’s up for parole again
soon,” Val said quietly. The bastard who had raped Megan countless times, threatened to kill her if she told, could possibly walk free. Val had found the note that day fifteen years ago, just before the foster mom found Megan hanging in the basement and screamed. The words were burned in her brain forever.
You hurt me. I begged you to stop. You laughed at me. You said you’d kill me if I said anything. Well, guess what? I’ve had enough, and I’m going to tell. I’m going to make sure you can’t touch another kid ever again. But you won’t be able to kill me, because I’m going to do that part myself. Fuck you, Kevin. I hope you rot in hell.
“I went to the last hearing. I’ll be at this one, too,” Connie replied.
Val nodded. After Megan, Connie had gone above and beyond for Val—she’d understood why she raged against everyone, cut herself, and made it her mission to protect all the younger kids she was placed with. Connie found her the therapist who’d helped Val survive it all, placed her in the best foster homes she could find, and kept her with Sasha, her closest friend. Connie knew.
“Honey, you know you can’t rescue them all, right? Lord knows I wanted to when I first started working. It’s a heartbreaking business sometimes, but you can only do so much.”
Val looked up at Connie with tears in her eyes. “I know. But I want to do something. Even if I can help one kid, it’ll be something. Paige told me about Emma, and that little girl now has a great shot at life because of what Paige has given her. I want to try to be that person for a hurting kid, too. Trying to help matters to me.”
Connie reached over and gave Val a long hug. “I know, sweetie, and I know your heart. You’re going to be great.”
Chapter Seven
Tonight was the final MAPP class, and Paige marveled at how quickly the weeks had flown by. Four participants were conspicuously absent. The couple she’d been uneasy about had not had a favorable home study, according to Connie, due to their harsh ideas about discipline and their aversion to therapeutic intervention for kids whose behavioral problems suggested they were hurting from unseen wounds. And the young couple who had just wanted to help kids realized, not unwisely, that they might be in over their heads when they heard all the potential difficulties of fostering. Connie had suggested that they start by volunteering, perhaps with the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization, and they had enthusiastically agreed.
Taking Chances Page 3
