Taking Chances

by Erin McKenzie

  Everyone else, though, had been great, and Paige was excited to have more good placement options for the steady stream of kids coming into care. As they wrapped up the evening, Ellen announced that she would be starting a support group for foster parents and hoped everyone would come.

  “If you make those brownies, I’m there,” Val said, and everyone laughed, nodding in agreement.

  “Thank you, Ellen,” Connie said. “It’s very important for you all to utilize any support available to you, including Paige and me. Feel free to reach out to us with any questions or concerns. Parenting on the best of days can be quite a job, and foster children bring their own unique challenges. But I’m confident that you all will be able to meet the needs of your future placements.”

  Paige handed out a flyer to everyone. “Don’t forget, there will be a foster care picnic at the fire hall next Saturday. Everyone is welcome, even if you do not have foster children yet. It’s a great way to meet other foster parents and broaden your network of support.”

  When she was done, she walked back to the front of the room. “I just wanted to thank you all for making this class a great experience. I learned so much myself, and I look forward to working with you in the near future.” Her gaze immediately went to Val, who was smiling warmly at her. Something tugged at Paige’s chest, and she was sorry that she would no longer have these weekly meetings as a chance to see Val. How had the time passed so quickly? She realized she was staring but smiled back as the other class members clapped, then stood to offer hugs and handshakes.

  A few minutes later, as Paige was packing up her things, she felt a light touch on her shoulder. Val stood there, her hands in her pockets, looking slightly uncomfortable.

  “So, um, thanks. It was good to meet you,” she said. The dichotomy of seeing this strong, intelligent woman apparently unsure of herself was strange, and endearing.

  “I’m happy to have met you, too, Val,” Paige said, genuinely meaning every word. Wait, I never asked what you do for fun, or if you’d like to go out some time…am I imagining the connection between us, or do you feel it, too? Do you even like women? Paige swallowed. “I’ll see you at the picnic?”

  “I’ll be there,” Val replied. She stood for a moment, looking at Paige, then her eyes widened as Paige moved in for a hug. Paige felt Val stiffen, then relax and hug her back—hard. The embrace set her whole body alight, and Paige was acutely aware of everywhere their bodies touched. She wanted everyone else in the room to disappear—now. Paige had to make herself let go, for decorum’s sake, but man, that hug felt amazing. She stepped back and smiled at Val, noticing the flush on her cheeks and wondering if it was due to embarrassment, yet hoping it was something more.

  “Looking forward to it. Good night.” Paige watched Val walk away.

  “She’s a special one.” She jumped at Connie’s voice in her ear. “I think she’ll make someone a great…foster mom.” Connie winked and stepped away, leaving Paige speechless.

  * * *

  The weather on the afternoon of the picnic was perfect, and all the kids were running around happily between the bouncy house with the huge slide and the food tables. Paige was transferring hot dogs from the grill to a serving tray when she felt eyes on her. She turned around and saw Val, holding a paper plate with a waiting hot dog bun. Damn, it was good to see her.

  “Hi there. Good timing…got some nice hot ones.” Val just smiled as Paige placed a hot dog on her bun, her dark eyes dancing with amusement. Paige felt a jolt somewhere low, which competed with the surge of embarrassment she felt at her own words.

  “Thanks. How’ve you been?” Val busied herself spooning baked beans and potato salad onto her plate, then met Paige’s gaze again.

  “Good. You?” Paige tried unsuccessfully to calm her thumping heart.

  “Can’t complain. No one ever listens if I do, anyway,” Val said. “You have to work the grill all afternoon?”

  “Actually, I was just giving someone a bathroom break. Here he comes now.” She handed her tongs back to a big guy in an apron emblazoned with the Buffalo Bills logo. “Here you go, Joe. She’s all yours. Don’t think I burned anything too badly.”

  “Thanks, kid,” he said and smiled at Val. “Haven’t seen you before. Foster parent or new employee?”

  “Future foster parent,” she replied, smiling back.

  “Well, welcome aboard. I’m Joe Massey, senior caseworker and grill master. Eat up—there’s plenty more.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I was just about to round up my daughter so she can eat,” Paige said, searching the crowd. She spotted Emma in line, waiting to climb the bouncy house ladder. “You’re welcome to join us if you’d like.” Please say yes.

  “Sure,” Val replied with a grin. “I’ll go snag the end of that table for us.”

  A few minutes later, Paige and Emma sat down across from her with their plates full of food. Emma’s dark hair stuck to her sweaty forehead, and her cheeks were rosy. She was chattering away about the awesome slide when she realized Paige wasn’t her only audience, that they were sitting down with Val. She immediately quieted and looked at her, scooting just a little closer to her mom.

  “Emma, do you remember Miss Valerie from the library? She’s going to be a foster parent.”

  When the child nodded but didn’t speak, Val smiled at her. “Nice to see you again, Emma. That bouncy house is so cool. Wish I was a kid so I could play in it. Is it fun?”

  “Yeah, it’s awesome! The slide is really fast.”

  Just like that, ice broken. Paige was amazed at how quickly her daughter relaxed. Val was great with children. It was hard to believe that this friendly, engaging woman was the same one who had been so closed off when they’d first met. Val was like an onion, and Paige wanted to keep peeling back the layers.

  Emma took a huge bite of her burger and chewed, swinging her legs under the table. “This burger is awesome, Mommy.”

  Paige rolled her eyes and smiled at Val. “Awesome is the adjective du jour lately.” She ruffled her daughter’s curls and gently admonished her to slow down lest she choke. Emma inhaled her food anyway, then begged to go back and play. “Go on, and stay where I can see you.”

  Val watched the girl scamper away. “She’s adorable. Lots of energy.”

  “Oh my God, you have no idea. The only thing that slows her down is a good book. Thankfully, she loves to read.”

  “I knew I liked that kid for a reason,” Val replied. “How come I don’t see her at the library more often?”

  “We’ve gone a few times, but always on Saturday mornings. She’s just getting into chapter books, and I already have a pretty large collection for her to tackle. We read together almost every night.”

  “She’s a happy girl. You are obviously a terrific mom.” Val felt a tiny shiver of envy, thinking of all that she had missed out on as a child. Then her mind flipped to an image of herself and Paige, spending a quiet evening together…reading. Um, what?

  Paige blushed. “Thanks for saying so. There are days when I wonder, but I love her to pieces.”

  “I can tell.” Val studied Paige, taking in her shining blond ponytail and sun-kissed skin, her freckled shoulders peeking out from beneath her collared tank top. She was completely different from the women who usually hit on Val at the bar. There was something fresh and unassuming about Paige, despite her perfectly put together appearance. Val realized she was staring at the same moment she heard the words in her head. God, she’s so beautiful. Val looked away quickly. “So, what were you like as a kid?”

  Paige raised an eyebrow. “Me? I don’t know. Compliant, I guess.”

  That was an odd descriptor, Val thought. “What do you mean?”

  Paige sighed. “My parents were very strict, and I, being their only child, got the full brunt of their high expectations. I don’t recall having a whole lot of fun, actually.”

  Val noticed the bitter tone that had crept into Paige’s voice. She wanted to know more. “
Was it lonely?”

  Paige looked at her in surprise. “Yeah, it was. My parents are both attorneys in a huge law firm in Manhattan. They always wanted me to be perfectly dressed, perfectly behaved, and perfectly well-mannered, never an embarrassment to them. But they left the enforcement of those rules to a long succession of au pairs and nannies. I barely ever saw them.”

  That explained the initial vibe Val had gotten when she’d met Paige. She was so put together because as a kid she’d been forced to appear that way. “That kinda sucks.”

  Paige laughed. “Well put. I’m sorry if I sound like I’m throwing a pity party. Actually, I had everything I ever needed, got a top-notch education, and even traveled abroad with my parents once a year. It’s just that…sometimes, I gladly would have given up all of that just to have their time and attention, you know? I kind of felt like I was invisible.”

  Val did know, for completely different reasons. “I get it. While your parents were cruising the Mediterranean with you in tow, my mom was dragging me around to crack houses at midnight.”

  “Oh, Val, I’m sorry. I really have nothing to complain about, do I?” Paige looked stricken.

  “No, it’s fine. We can’t help who our parents are. My point is that we were both lonely and neglected, even though we came from completely different worlds.”

  “I guess I never thought of it like that,” Paige said. “At least I had a couple of nannies who were good to me. Did you have anyone?”

  “My abuelita. Sorry, my grandma. She was amazing. Tiny woman but fiercely protective. She did everything she could to take care of my brother and me.” Val fingered the necklace she wore, a silver eagle. “She gave me this when I was eight. She said it meant that I was strong and could handle whatever life threw at me. She used to say Be good, and life will be good to you. I didn’t believe life would ever be good when I was a kid, but now I know she was right.”

  “Where is she now?”

  “She’s gone. When my mother went to jail, she wanted to take us, but she was too sick. She had diabetes and was nearly blind. My brother had a different dad, so he went with him. I went into foster care. Abuelita died, and I never saw Enrique again.”

  Val couldn’t believe how easy it was to talk to Paige. She so rarely spoke of her past to anyone, but Paige listened with such genuine interest, such a kind expression, that the words just came. Val noted the warring factions in her head, one telling her it was okay to be open, the other to get the hell up and run. Her anxiety kicked up a notch, and she pressed her sweaty palms onto her thighs. Paige looked at her with those compassionate blue eyes, and Val swallowed. You make me want to stay.

  “I’m so sorry, Val,” Paige was saying. “You haven’t been able to contact your brother?”

  “I don’t even know if he has the same last name anymore. All I know is that he moved to the West Coast. Nobody would tell me anything else. How many Enriques do you think live over there?”

  “That must have been so hard, not being able to find out more.”

  “Yeah, well, water under the bridge,” Val replied, waving her hand dismissively. “I’m doing all right, and I have to believe he is, too.”

  “I’d say you are. I know plenty of kids that didn’t have it half as bad as you, and they still couldn’t get their act together. And here you are, a kind, independent, successful woman, despite all you’ve been through. You’re the success story we hope for every time a kid enters the system. And you impress the hell out of me.”

  “Wow. Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.” Paige bit her lip, then nodded as if she’d made a decision. “Do you get a lunch hour at work?”

  “Whoa, topic change whiplash.”

  Paige laughed, the husky rich sound sexy as hell. “Well?”

  “I do, but I rarely take the full hour,” Val said.

  “Would you be willing to change your ways and have lunch with me someday soon?”

  Val smiled. “Sure.” I think I might be willing to change a lot of my ways for you.

  “Excellent. I’ll text you. Hey, the ice cream truck we rented is here. Come on, let’s beat the kids to it.” Paige jumped up, and Val followed, feeling a flicker of something that seemed an awful lot like happiness.

  Chapter Eight

  Val smiled at the children gathered before her on the rug, waiting for her to begin story hour. She glanced at the door one more time, but her little regulars, Ian and Lily, weren’t there. They hadn’t come the last time, either. Val had a niggling sense of uneasiness, but she tried to push it aside as she began to read.

  Afterward, she mentioned her concerns to Linda. “You know that brother and sister that always come to story hour and sit right down in front?”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t see them today.”

  “I know, or last time. They’ve been coming like clockwork, twice a week. Guess I’m just wondering what’s up.” Val fiddled with her pen as her mind started to worry.

  “You think there’s a problem?” Linda asked.

  “I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I saw their mother hanging out in the back corner of the parking lot the other day when I left. There were a couple of guys with her, but I didn’t see the kids.”

  “You’re really worried, aren’t you? I’m sure they’re okay. Maybe they’re visiting their grandparents or something.”

  “Maybe.”

  “So, guess what?” Linda said, changing the subject. “Josh is taking me to a Syracuse game on Saturday. I’ve never been to a game at the Carrier Dome. Have you?”

  Val could think of a dozen things she’d rather do than sit in a stadium full of thirty thousand loud, obnoxious sports fans. “Nope, never been.”

  Linda leaned in and lowered her voice. “We’ve been seeing a lot of each other lately. He could be the one.” She nearly squealed with excitement.

  Val smiled indulgently. Linda had met The One at least three times this year alone. They never stuck around long. Val felt bad—Linda was sweet, but way too high maintenance emotionally. “That’s great.”

  “Hey, we should double-date sometime. You never talk about what you do outside of work. Are you seeing someone?”

  “I’m not really big on dating,” Val said and turned her back to grab a stack of books off the counter, hoping Linda would drop the idea.

  “Ooh, I bet Josh has some single friends. I could set you up. What kind of guys are you into?”

  Val sighed. Oh, what the hell. “The female kind.”

  “The female ki…wait, holy crap. You’re a lesbian?” Linda’s eyes widened so much, it was almost comical.

  “Yep.” Val waited, but all Linda did was stare at her for what seemed like an eternity.

  “My cousin Gina is a lesbian,” Linda said, when she finally regained her voice. “I bet she knows some single girls.”

  “Oh, for God’s sake,” Val said, exasperated. At the hurt look on Linda’s face, she softened her tone. “Listen, I appreciate your interest in my social life, but really, I don’t have any desire to date right now. I’m perfectly content with things as they are.” An image of Paige popped into her head, and she remembered the tentative lunch plans they’d made. Now that she could do—just lunch, no expectations to impress anyone or hook up. Hanging out with Paige was easy.

  “But don’t you get lonely all by yourself?” Linda, who couldn’t go a month between boyfriends, would probably never understand Val’s deep need for solitude and her own space.

  “I’ve got a couple of friends I hang out with, but I really am fine with my own company. I’m an introvert—I don’t need people around me all the time.”

  “Wow.” Linda just kept looking at her like she’d sprouted wings or something.

  “What do you say we get this cart of books shelved?” Val said, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice.

  “Oh, sure. And Val, if you ever change your mind about double-dating…”

  “I won’t.” Val busied herself on the computer and didn’t look up
again until Linda finally walked away. Ugh. Why did people think there was something wrong with you if you didn’t want to date? Val had tried when she was younger, but those experiences had just proven what she’d already known. When you let people in too far, you get hurt. Val had had enough heartbreak to last decades. No way in hell was she going to put herself out there again.

  * * *

  Val was sitting at the bar when Sasha and her friends came in. She waved them over, noting with interest that Sasha was holding hands with a cute blonde.

  “Hey, girl,” Sasha said as she approached, and Val hopped off the barstool to give her a hug. “Meet my crew. This is Aaliyah, Dutch, and Jen. Crew, this is my best friend Val.” The women exchanged greetings, and Val watched with amusement as Sasha and Jen leaned close together and made googly eyes at each other. Sasha’s usual charismatic swagger was gone, replaced by sappy looks and giggles. Aaliyah, tall, handsome, and dark-skinned, had already caught the eye of a group of women at the pool tables.

  “Mind if I go shoot a game, Sarge?”

  Sasha laughed. “Nah, but be careful who you play with.”

  Aaliyah grinned, got herself a beer, and strutted off to meet her admirers.

  “So, Val, can I get you a drink?” Val turned to Dutch, a short, stocky butch with a crew cut and multiple tattoos on her bare, muscular arms. She was looking Val up and down with undisguised interest.

  “No, thanks, I’m good.” Val turned to talk to Sasha and Jen. “So, Jen, you keeping my buddy here out of trouble?” Grinning, she gave Sasha a wink.