A Needful Heart

by J. M. Madden

  He hummed thoughtfully in his chest, and she left it at that.

  They ate barbequed burgers and hot dogs, complemented by the casseroles people had brought in to contribute to the meal. Grayson made his apologies about the ruined beans, but Linda waved him off. They had plenty. Gina was very proud of her family full of wonderful cooks. Matt seemed to appreciate them as well, judging by the way he piled the food on his plate. Gina finished her own plate and then went back for dessert.

  After dinner, Charli started to open her gifts. She was thoughtful and appreciative of everything she received and stacked the gifts carefully to the side of the table. Matt tensed when she got to their gift bag. Gina had gotten her a laptop backpack and a gift card. Charli was appreciative, but she positively melted when she pulled out the hand-carved, oak jewelry chest. “Oh, wow!”

  She flipped the lid and pulled out the drawers, exploring, and when she was done she crossed the crowd to give Matt a huge hug. “Thank you so much. It’s beautiful. I can tell you took a lot of time with it.”

  If it weren’t for the darkening evening, Matt’s face would have been red. “You’re very welcome,” he rumbled.

  Gina was surprised at Charli’s affection because she was usually more reserved. Maybe she, too, could see how badly Matt wanted to fit in.

  The only gift that topped the chest was the car. Charli grinned when she unwrapped the tiny box with the keychain inside. Dad drove the car around the side of the house just then, and every teenager at the party screamed. Charli lost her natural reserve and jumped up and down like the young woman she was, then suddenly felt the need to go for a drive.

  The party wound down after that. When his pants were dry, Grayson made his goodbyes to Linda, promising that he would get Charli a new, unshattered, present. The few people that were left gathered around the fire pit. Gina scooted her chair close enough to Matt’s so he could wrap his arm around her. They sat that way until everybody had gone home and the fire was all but out.

  Gina eventually tugged Matt into the house and up to her old room. Both of their bags were on the floor, so her mother must have gotten the message she was with Matt. Sitting on the edge of the full bed, he looked around her room curiously. Gina also sat down and tried to see it through his eyes. She probably looked like a spoiled girl with all the knick-knacks and baubles lying around. He motioned to the line of medallions and medals on one bookshelf. “What are those for?”

  “The bigger ones are from Honor Roll, and the smaller ones from spelling bees. I used to be really into those.” She rested a finger on the shelf above. “These things are from family vacations. The Grand Canyon, Disney World, Smoky Mountains.” She touched each little memento as she pointed them out. “In between rounds of chemo or whatever medicine I was on at the time, my parents would make it a point to take us places. It was something to look forward to when I was going through treatment.”

  She motioned to the shelf on the bottom, full of spiral-bound notebooks. “And those are my dreams. Every want, need, thought, fantasy I had is in those books.” She chose one at random, and flipped through. She stopped at a dog-eared page and started to read. “I want a prince to come to my room and bring all of his desert horses with him.”

  She shrugged self-consciously. With what she knew of his childhood, it was hard to be happy about her memories. “Did you get to do anything as a child?”

  The ball cap tipped down as he looked at his feet. “Well, George took me to a couple of county fairs when I was smaller. Rick never had the money.”

  “Oh, I love fairs. The smells, and the lights, and of course the food.”

  Matt grinned at her. “Exactly. Once I knew what they were, I badgered George to take me every year.”

  Gina sat on the edge of the bed and crooked a knee to face him. “So, what do you like the best? The rides? Or the animals?”

  “Oh, definitely the food. I would make myself sick on fair food when we went. I still go even now. Every year, religiously. Hell, it’s where I…” He stopped suddenly, clamped his jaw and looked away.

  Gina was fascinated by the sudden halt, and his reaction. “What? Where you what?”

  Matt looked at her for several heartbeats of time. “It’s where I first saw you.”

  “Really?” she whispered. Her heart pounded against her breastbone, and her eyes started to tear.

  “Four years ago last September.”

  Her mouth dropped open. He had seen her four years ago? And remembered her? “Seriously?”

  Matt nodded once and crossed his arms over his heavy chest. “You were standing with your friend Madison at the end of the horse barn, and you had called out a hello to somebody. Your hair was blowing in the breeze and you had on a pretty blue shirt that matched your eyes. For just one second, you looked at me. Then you turned away.”

  Gina was floored. “Did you speak to me or anything?”

  He shook his head. “No. You were with friends and I didn’t want to interrupt.”

  She swallowed heavily. What was going unsaid was the fact that he did remember her from years ago, meaning she had affected him somehow. “I wish you had, Matt. I was pretty lonely back then. I had decided to stay in Shelbyville after school, rather than head back home.”

  “Maybe if I had known that, I would have.” He smiled at her gently, but she had a feeling he wouldn’t have said a word.

  Gina didn’t know what to think. She certainly couldn’t remember what shirt she had been wearing that night. It hadn’t been memorable to her. It had been to Matt, though. Her heart warmed at the thought.

  “So, when did you decide to bring George in? A couple months after that, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you know I worked there when you brought him in?”

  He hesitated. “Yes.”

  Gina’s eyes widened. Again, she was knocked off balance. Had he orchestrated taking George to see Dr. Hamilton so that he could see her again? She asked him, and his eyes flared with guilt.

  “Yes. Although he was one of the doctors suggested to us after the transplant.”

  “So, why didn’t you ever talk to me or ask me out? You just stood in the hall or sat in the waiting room and didn’t say anything.”

  Matt ran his hands through his hair in agitation, dislodging the ball cap and sending his hair into spikes. The hat fell to the bed, then the floor, but he didn’t seem to notice. “I couldn’t. You’re beautiful and friendly and everything I’m not. I should be shot for even being with you, because I don’t want my bad reputation to rub off on you.”

  “Wait a minute.” Gina waved her hand. “You don’t have a bad reputation, your dad did.”

  His shoulders shifted in a shrug. “Calvin. That’s all you have to say and people cringe.”

  Gina scrunched her face in aggravation. “Actually, it’s not. They talk about your carpentry, a lot, actually, but I had never heard anything about your dad until you talked about him.”

  Matt didn’t look like he believed her, but he didn’t say anything more. He just clamped his lips and shook his head in disagreement.

  “So, you’ve been watching me, kind of, for four years?”

  He nodded once, expression guarded. “Yep.”

  “So, that day I ran into you…”

  “I had finally decided to say something to you. About your hair. Turned out great, huh? Bet you wished I’d have left you alone.”

  Gina sighed at the bitterness she heard. “Actually, no. What I told my parents still stands. I think running into you was the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.”

  She rested her hand on his chest and tugged his chin toward her for a kiss. Reluctant at first, he was hard to move, but he gave in with a groan and cupped her head in his hands. Gina leaned into him, and when he guided her down onto the bed she was more than ready. If she could get him past the doubts, perhaps they would actually have a chance to create a life for themselves.

  They made love that night slowly, and he
cradled her afterward almost poignantly. It was like there was an ephemeral something in the air, and they were hesitant to speak of it because they didn’t want it to drift away. Gina didn’t want to go to sleep, because she was afraid this perfection was going to disappear. They both had doubts and fears, she knew that, but she also knew in her heart they could find some kind of common ground.

  She woke in the morning wrapped in his strong arms, with his breath puffing in her hair from behind. Goose bumps raised the hair on her arms when she felt the stubble on his jaw brush against her. When she shifted, he tightened his arms around her. “Not just yet,” he rumbled in her ear.

  Gina was more than happy to stay where she was, but her body wouldn’t let her relax. “I have to go,” she whispered.

  Sighing deeply, he relaxed his arms from around her. Gina padded to the bathroom and did her business. She brushed her teeth and finger combed her hair, then headed back to her room. Matt was sitting up on the side of the bed, rubbing his hands over his head. Gina paused at the doorway just to look at him and etch in her mind how content she felt. There were lines on his face where he must have lain on a folded piece of fabric, and his eyes were blurry with sleep, but when he saw her at the door, he smiled. Just for her.

  She crossed the room to press a kiss to his lips. “I love you, Matt Calvin.”

  Stiffening, he pushed her away. There was a harsh frown on his face. “What?”

  “I know I promised not to pressure you, but I had to tell you I love you.”

  Gina expected to feel fearful of his reaction, but instead she was totally content. Why not tell him?

  Matt shook his head and left the bed to gather his clothes. Avoiding her eyes, he hopped on one leg, dragging his jeans up around his hips. He snatched his shirt on the way out the door.

  Gina watched him leave, but she wasn’t concerned that he hadn’t responded. It would be shocking, hearing ‘I love you’ from a woman. Hell, it might be the only time he’d ever heard it. Her heart broke a little at the thought, because she knew it was probably true. It would take a while for him to assimilate her words, but if he had been watching her for four years, three little words weren’t going to chase him off now. At least, she hoped not.

  Chapter Eleven

  Matt didn’t know what to do. Dragging his t-shirt on as he jogged down the stairs, he walked down the hallway to the kitchen and stopped. Gina’s mother stood at the stove, turning something in a skillet. She smiled when she saw him in the doorway, and he was struck by how much Gina looked like her. Curly hair, rounded cheek bones. Gina would look exactly like her in twenty years. His stomach turned in fear, and he fought not to bolt out the door.

  Linda must have seen something in his eyes because she pointed at the exterior door. “Go out in the garage.”

  Matt shoved through the door and powered across the yard blindly. The door of the garage stood ajar and inside Eric sanded something on the workbench. The smells of the shop immediately welcomed him, and he looked for something to do. Eric seemed to know what he needed. He thrust a plank of oak into his hands, and Matt turned to the double-side planer table in the corner. Feeding the board into the machine, he smoothed off a miniscule amount of wood. Flipping it over, he fed it back through the machine. Over and over again, he repeated the process, smoothing until it was uniform. Eric handed him another board, and he did the same thing to it, leveling the rough spots and making the surface usable. For the better part of thirty minutes he and Eric worked without saying a word.

  Matt finally felt calm enough to look Gina’s dad in the eye. “I don’t understand your daughter.”

  Eric chuckled and smoothed his hand over the piece of wood Matt just finished. “Why are you telling me? Her mother’s just as impossible.”

  Matt huffed and shook his head. “How do you…” He motioned with his hands, searching for words. He didn’t know Eric well, but if anybody would understand, hopefully it would be him. “I’ve never been in any kind of long-term relationship, so I don’t know what’s expected or required. Is there some kind of manual to go by or something, or do you just flounder around and make a fool of yourself?”

  Eric leaned against the workbench. “Definitely the latter. Women are fascinating, quicksilver creatures. Just when you think you know what makes them tick, they throw you a huge curveball. I’ve been married probably longer than you’ve been around, but I’m still barely keeping my head above water.” He shrugged. “It’s what makes us love them though.”

  Matt frowned. “I don’t know if I can give her what she needs.”

  “What has she asked for?”

  Frustrated, he shook his head. “Nothing specifically, but she needs more emotionally than I can give her. I’m not…equipped to be in a relationship. I have no idea how one even works.”

  Eric’s keen eyes smiled at him. “It works like any relationship, with give and take by both parties. Compromise. You need to be caring of the other person’s well-being and accepting of their mistakes. But I’ll tell ya,” he said with a grin, “when it works right, you can’t ask for anything more. There is definitely an art to love.”

  Matt was awash in emotions. On the one hand, he was honored that Gina had told him she loved him. In his wildest imagination, he’d never expected that. When he spoke to her in the doctor’s office, he thought perhaps they could talk to each other occasionally about things other than George. Hell, it had only been a little over a week since he’d knocked her down and broken her wrist. His mind just couldn’t fathom how quickly they’d connected. It had to be too fast. Maybe she was misunderstanding the gratitude she felt for him. Hell, maybe she told all the guys she went out with she loved them.

  That depressed the hell out of him. He didn’t want to be just another number in her long line of men.

  “So, how long was it before you knew you loved your wife?” Matt asked.

  Eric looked down at the plain gold band on his left hand, then held it up for Matt to see. “I knew within hours that I loved Linda, and I bought the wedding bands a couple of days later. I couldn’t believe it when she agreed to go out with me, then accepted my marriage proposal. There were guys panting after her like crazy, but she took a chance on me.” He shrugged philosophically. “You can’t choose who grabs your heart.”

  Those words settled into Matt’s mind and stuck there. He was exactly right.

  Matt felt more relaxed than when he had stormed in. “Thanks, Eric. I didn’t mean to rush in here and scare you or anything. I just needed...”

  The older man waved him off. “No worries. Anytime, Matt.”

  Eric shifted and brought Matt’s attention to one of the projects he was working on, and Matt was glad of the distraction. For the better part of an hour they talked shop, compared machines and methods, until Gina suddenly burst through the door. Her hair was wild and her face was pale.

  “Gabe’s in trouble. We have to go.”

  Tension gripped Matt’s stomach. “What’s going on?”

  Tears filled her eyes as he reached out to grip her shoulders. “He called my cell phone from my house and left a message. Says he’s hiding from Chuck because he went off the deep end and started destroying the house. We have to go.”

  Matt turned and shook Eric’s hand, then herded Gina out of the garage. Linda met them at the truck with their bags. She hugged Gina and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Call me,” she whispered. Then she turned a tugged him down for a kiss on his cheek. Matt was stunned. “Take care of my little girl,” she told him

  Matt nodded and urged Gina into the truck, settling her in the middle. He climbed in beside her, made sure they were both belted in and started the truck. “She’ll be fine,” he promised before he shut the door and took off.

  They didn’t talk much on the way home. Gina called her friend at child protective services, but reached her voicemail. She debated calling Shelbyville PD. There was a chance if they did find Gabe the police would just turn him back over to Chuck. It had happened before
. If there was no identifiable trauma on the boy, he had to go back to his legal guardian. It was logged as an unruly child call. It was ridiculous that the child got the blame.

  Tears came to her eyes as she thought about him hiding under her stairs. He’d let himself into the house with the key hidden outside, then called her from her kitchen phone. She’d told him where to hide, and the fact that he hadn’t blustered and said he was fine told her how scared he was. He took the receiver with him and she told him if he heard anything to call 911.

  She glanced at Matt. His jaw was tight, brows furrowed fiercely. He had both hands on the wheel, and his foot was heavy on the gas pedal. She prayed they didn’t get pulled over.

  Time seemed to drag as the miles zipped away. And it seemed the closer they got, the longer it took. The last few blocks to her house took forever, and when they finally pulled into her drive a little after ten, she jumped out of the truck and ran to her steps before Matt had even stopped the vehicle. The house next door was quiet, but there was stuff scattered all over the lawn. Chuck was nowhere to be seen, though his car was parked sideways in the driveway.

  Gina shoved her key in the lock and ran inside. Terror stopped her in her tracks when she found Chuck standing inside her hallway, digging at the panel where Gabe was hiding under the stairs. “No,” she screamed.

  Chuck grinned fiercely when he saw her and lunged. His bloodshot eyes were wild. “I’m so damn tired of you, bitch.”

  Before she could even turn away, he had grabbed her by the hair and shoved her face first against the wall. Pain blazed through her cheekbone. He didn’t get a chance to do anything else though, because Matt blasted through the doorway. Chuck took a swing at the bigger man and missed, and Matt was on him. The first punch shattered Chuck’s nose. Blood gushed. The older man turned back for more, so Matt cracked him in the jaw. Gina heard the bone break from across the room and watched in satisfaction as Chuck dropped to the floor like a bag of rocks. He lay there, unmoving.