The Accidental Countess

by Melissa Schroeder

  “I’m saying that maybe we should reconsider our arrangement.”

  Chapter Six

  All color drained from Colleen’s face. Sebastian grabbed her arm to be sure she didn’t pass out. From the look on her face, one would think being married to him was a fate worse than death. Not that he thought himself to be the catch of the season, but it was damned irritating that the thought of marriage almost sent his wife into a dead faint.

  “Reconsider our arrangement?” she asked hoarsely. “What makes you think…?” She jerked her arm out of his hand. “What makes you think I want to continue this arrangement?”

  “Good Lord, woman, sit down before you faint.”

  The reprimand was enough to bring her back to life. Her face flushed, and her nostrils flared. That handle tightened in her back. Thank God she had her pride and tenacity. He could never deal with fainthearted women.

  “I do not have fainting spells. I’m sure the women you acquaint yourself with—”

  “What an interesting term, ‘acquaint’. I’ve never thought about it that way.”

  Her eyes rounded, and she sputtered. Actually sputtered! Deciding he had the upper hand, he changed the subject.

  “We are in a bit of a predicament, you and I.”

  “You signed a contract. You said you would send a telegram of your death.”

  He shook his head. “Colleen, that would never hold up, and what are you going to do? Take me to the justices? Let the whole world know that we struck a bargain?”

  “Everyone in this town knows I despise titled men.”

  “We live in a society that would never side with you in court.”

  Her shoulders slumped and her lip quivered. “You said you would stick to the bargain and leave me alone.” Her voice was flat, emotionless. He did not like it at all. He liked her breathing fire and spitting insults.

  “That was before Mother showed up. She’d throw a fit if I denied her wishes. It isn’t as if I’m thrilled about this arrangement either, Colleen. I never planned on marrying again.”

  She walked around the bed and paced in front of her door. The dress she wore was a horrible shade of brown, buttoned up to her throat. It sagged in the bodice and the design made her look like a giraffe. Still, he couldn’t help watching the sway of her hips as she marched back and forth.

  “There has to be a way out of this!”

  “There is, but it would ruin your reputation.” He leaned against the windowsill, crossing his arms. “I know that it isn’t fair, but I’d not be touched by the scandal. Oh, I’m sure there would be a few invitations I would miss, but well, I’m an earl.”

  Even as the words left his mouth, he couldn’t fathom his new position. He’d never thought to be an earl, happy to be the only son of a second son. All the money, none of the work. Taking the reigns of the estate would not be difficult, but to be the result of such a tragedy left a hollow pit in his stomach.

  “If anything, it would make me all the more interesting, especially to women.”

  That comment brought her pacing to a stop. She turned on him, slowly stomping in his direction. “You mean to say…” She took a deep breath as if trying to calm her nerves. “You would use my downfall as a way to acquire more women?” Her voice cracked on the last word.

  “Ah, you care. I can’t tell you what that means to me.”

  Her eyes narrowed and then turned steel grey. She continued closer and stopped within inches of him. Once again, the scent of hot sticky buns surrounded him and he found himself fighting not to lick his lips.

  “If we are going to make this marriage permanent, which seems to be the case, I think you need to become more accommodating,” he said.

  There! Acting like she was above being married to him. He was so busy being pleased with himself, he never saw the punch coming.

  Colleen screamed in pain when her fist connected with his nose. The crunch of bone filled the room, and she wasn’t sure if it was her hand or his nose. He cursed, his hands flying to his face.

  Tears gathered in her eyes as pain radiated from her knuckles up her arm. Her fingers tingled then went numb. She grabbed her fingers and collapsed on the bed.

  “Why are you crying, Colleen? You broke my nose!” His voice was pinched and muffled. He was holding one of his monogrammed handkerchiefs up to his nose, blood quickly soaking the fine linen and oozing over his hands.

  She’d broken the man’s nose. Colleen Marie Macgregor lost her temper and broke a man’s nose. Her head was spinning from her momentary surge of anger and complete wonder. She flexed her fingers and winced at the pain, but she was happy she could move them. “I hurt my hand on your hard nose.”

  “Serves you right.”

  “Good Lord, you are a baby. So I broke your nose.”

  With cool blue eyes, he looked down at her. “Well, this does not bode well for our marriage, Mrs. Ware.”

  “Yes, you better make sure you carry on the tradition of English nobility, my lord earl, and sleep in a separate room. Just be certain to lock the door in between them.”

  He stared at her, his eyes widening as her words sank in. “Are you threatening me?”

  “I’m promising you that if you even think of holding me to this ridiculous marriage, you will fear for your life. Every night you will wonder if I will sneak into your room and stab you with a knife.”

  “I promise you, Colleen”—his voice was soft as a kitten’s purr but lethal to her composure as it skated down her spine—“if you sneak into my room at night, I’ll be able to interest you in more entertaining nocturnal activities.”

  * * *

  Dinner was a strained affair. Both of Sebastian’s eyes were blackened, his nose swollen, so it was decided they would dine in Colleen’s home. Sebastian sat at the head of the table, scowling and sniping at her at every turn. He had no reason to be so hateful.

  She looked at his swollen nose. Deciding he might have a tiny reason—okay a pretty big reason—to be irritated with her, she tried her best to be pleasant. To tell the truth, she was ashamed of what she had done. Her parents had always taught her not to strike another living thing in anger. Never in all her days had anyone, man or beast, caused her blood to boil the way Sebastian did.

  “Oh, Colleen, you set such a pretty table.” Lady Anna sat on her right, a genuine smile on her face, her blue eyes sparkling.

  She couldn’t help but return the smile. “Thank you, Anna. I do love to cook.”

  Sebastian mumbled something she could not hear, then snorted. His mother shot him a hard look, and he quieted.

  “Oh, Miss Macgregor, er…Ware… Oh, sweet heavens, what do we call you?” Mrs. Pearson asked.

  “Mrs. Ware is fine with me.”

  “Lady Penwyth,” Sebastian said, but this time he ignored his mother’s look. His voice was hard and his gaze never wavered. “You are to be called Lady Penwyth.”

  She tightened her jaw as she felt her temper rising yet again. It didn’t take much where Sebastian was involved. “But I am fine with Mrs. Ware.”

  His blue eyes darkened, his lips flattened. “You are a countess, and you will be called according to your title.”

  “Really, Sebastian, don’t take that tone with me.”

  The vicar, his wife and Colleen’s in-laws watched in fascination, their heads swinging from one end of the table to the other.

  “I will take any kind of tone…” He stopped, apparently realizing they were squabbling like a couple of children.

  Silence descended on the room. Nothing but the sound of silverware against her mother’s best china filled the air.

  “Well, it is still hard to believe that you were just an orphan, no relations to hear of, and now, you are a countess,” said Mrs. Pearson, her kind voice releasing some of the gathered tension.

  “You really have no family?” asked Anna.

  “No. My father died when I was twelve, my mother a few years ago. My sister died last year. I do have some family in south England on m
y mother’s side and Scotland on my father’s side.”

  “Why did you not go to them when you found yourself alone?” This came from her mother-in-law.

  “Why would I? Really, I’m self-sufficient. My mother…well, she wasn’t the strongest of women, and my sister took after her. I tended the bills and the house from an early age. Besides, my parents married against their families’ wishes.”

  Victoria’s eyes twinkled as she studied Colleen. “Do you happen to know your mother’s maiden name?”

  “No. I think she never really overcame her family’s lack of support.”

  “Lack of support?” Sebastian inquired.

  Oh, so now he decided not to pout anymore? She turned in his direction and inwardly cringed at the injuries she’d given him. She didn’t know if it was her imagination or not but they seemed to be getting worse.

  “My mother married my father, a second son with no money, and worse than that, a Scot. I understand they spirited away to Gretna Green.”

  He studied her for a moment then asked, his voice ripe with condemnation, “And she felt she could not forgive them for not accepting such idiotic behavior?”

  “Idiotic behavior?” Her voice had turned shrill, surprising her and the Pearsons. Colleen Macgregor did not speak in the tone of a fishwife.

  “Yes, what would you call it?” When she didn’t answer him, he continued. “Their families didn’t agree with their marriage, and they ran off. Not very smart.”

  She clutched her fork so tightly her knuckles were white. What would he do if she stabbed him in the leg with a fork? She hated violence of any kind, but with Sebastian around, she couldn’t help it. He seemed to bring it out in her. Not a good sign if their marriage did become permanent.

  “But, Sebastian, that’s what you did, is it not?” Anna said. “Well, not the running away and marrying against your family’s wishes, but you married so fast I’m sure it was because you couldn’t wait.”

  Someone snorted, and she was sure it was Mrs. Pearson. She watched Sebastian’s sneer smooth and turn into a mask of a smile. When he spoke, his snide tone had melted into the perfectly pitched intonation of a gentleman.

  “Of course you are right, puss.” When he glanced at his sister, his eyes warmed, and Colleen’s heart skipped a beat. Lord, he was handsome even with his swollen nose and black eyes.

  “Well, although I would enjoy nothing more than to take some more time to get to know you better, we need to start making plans for our return,” Victoria said. Colleen smiled at her mother-in-law. Even under the unusual circumstances, she’d accepted Colleen. “We will get up bright and early tomorrow and start the plans. I want to leave by Saturday.”

  “Saturday?” Colleen squeaked. Silently, she counted the days. Panic slid through her. “Three days to get ready. I’ve too much to do. I need to pack and the house… What am I going to do with the house?”

  Although he was still angry with Colleen, Sebastian couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for the impertinent woman. Her whole life was about to change, and for this woman, he knew that would be hard. He assumed she was a woman who would not acclimate well to change. She’d cocooned herself in York, hiding from society. If her mother had lived, he doubted Colleen would have turned out differently. She would have easily accepted a bland existence.

  “Now, don’t you worry,” said Mrs. Pearson. “Lord Sebastian and I have had a long discussion on the matter, and I will take over the care of the house. In fact, you could probably find a family willing to rent it.” She patted Colleen’s hand but his wife didn’t appear to notice the gesture.

  “But…but this is all I have left.” Her eyes shimmered with tears, and Sebastian, knowing his way around her now, decided he’d had enough. She would blame him if she embarrassed herself by breaking down in tears. He would rather she be mad at him.

  “We don’t have time to lament the loss of your command over your house, Colleen. We need to make plans. Now quit your whining.”

  His sister and Mrs. Pearson gasped. “Sebastian, really,” his mother admonished.

  But he paid no heed. He watched Colleen’s eyes narrow and darken. That was more like it. She stood and threw her napkin on the table.

  “I’ll just see to the dishes—”

  “No need to worry about that. I will take care of that for you,” said Mrs. Pearson as she rose and joined Colleen in clearing the table. “You’ve had a trying day.”

  Colleen shot a look at Sebastian that would have stopped his heart dead if she’d had the power. He crossed his arms and returned the look. He was the one with the throbbing nose and black eyes. If Daniel, the Earl of Bridgerton and his best friend, had been present, he’d never hear the end of it. The thought of telling Daniel of his situation, his marriage and the twit he was married to—who would rather waste her life as a spinster—made him cringe.

  He turned his attention to his wife, his countess. Too tall, plain and given to horrible fashion choices, she and he were stuck. They went together as well as most couples in society. At least they still spoke at this point, although it had been less than a day. He’d never planned to remarry, but he guessed she was as good as any other.

  Her glasses and freckles were not the most attractive but there was a quality, a type of reserved passion he knew he would uncover. She’d been restraining herself for so long she didn’t know how to express it. It was the reason he was sitting there with a broken nose.

  “Yes, Colleen. You’ll need to prepare yourself for our wedding night.”

  * * *

  Colleen stomped down the hallway and started up the stairs when her mother-in-law stopped her.

  “Colleen,” she said, waiting for her to turn. “I know you do not know me well, but I would be more than happy to answer any questions you may have.”

  She cocked her head to one side and studied Lady Victoria. Her smooth ivory skin was pink with embarrassment, and Colleen could not help but smile.

  “No, Lady Victoria. You and I know this is no love match, and I see no reason to pretend. Your son has no interest in me, and as soon as his senses clear, he’ll realize he really doesn’t like me and will grant me an annulment.”

  “You truly think my son has no interest in you?” Her voice held a tone of pure amazement.

  “I know.” She stepped forward and impulsively grabbed her mother-in-law’s hand. An emotion she could not name choked her as Victoria squeezed her hand around Colleen’s. “Your son, from what I gather, likes his women a little different than I. I know I am too tall and gangly and with all this red hair… Well, most men don’t like it.”

  When her mother-in-law looked to protest, Colleen forged ahead. “I’ve known most of my life how people view me. I have no problem with the fact people do not find me beautiful. I like myself, and that’s all that matters.”

  “You really think yourself plain?”

  She chuckled. “I know so. I lived with a mother who was considered a beauty, and a sister who was almost a mirror image of her. I, well, I’m the likeness of my father, except for the eyes. Tall and sturdy, a true Scot.”

  “Well, I…I know that if Sebastian proves you wrong, well, he will be gentle. He is really a decent man.”

  “Of course he is. He would never have married me if he weren’t.”

  She didn’t know how it happened, but she found herself pulled into Victoria’s arms in a crushing embrace. The scent of lavender surrounded her, comforted her. It had been so long since she’d been hugged like this, completely engulfed by a mother’s love. Colleen wrapped her arms around her mother-in-law and squeezed with all her might. Tears pricked her eyes when she felt a gentle kiss on her temple.

  “You see what other people don’t, my dear. Keep that in mind when you deal with Sebastian.”

  * * *

  Sebastian awaited his mother in the parlor, wondering what kind of punishment she would dole out on his head. He’d seen her look when he had teased Colleen, and he knew he was in for a head bashin
g.

  “You’re in trouble, you know,” his sister said. She sat on one of the sofas, her legs stretched out in front of her.

  “Mind your own business, brat. Besides, what the devil is Daniel about letting you two travel on your own? I left you in his care.”

  One eyebrow rose. The resemblance between his mother and Anna grew every day. She had that imperious, queen-of-the-castle look down pat. “Well, first of all, I don’t want you losing this wife. I like her, probably more than I do you. Second of all, we do not need permission from Daniel to do what we please. Mother and I have gotten along just fine without his interference.”

  “Oh, and what did he say about this little jaunt into the wilds of York?”

  “He didn’t say anything because he is not my husband,” their mother said from the doorway. “Anna, really, sit up. You look like a common tavern wench sitting like that.”

  “Oh, and when was the last time you saw a tavern wench, Mother?” he asked.

  “It’s been a while since I’ve met one of your women, Sebastian.” She smiled sweetly. “Don’t try to outdo your mother, dear.”

  “Of course, Mother.”

  “Anna, please go ready our things. The hour grows late, and I’m ready to retire to the inn.”

  Anna pouted but did as her mother bid, closing the door on the way out.

  “Daniel is probably not happy with us. He’d wanted us to stay in London, but I was irritated with his lack of concern on your part. Your uncle dying was bad enough, but the way your cousin died. I guess our messages kept missing you the way you kept moving around.” She shook her head and closed her eyes. He saw the circles bruising the skin beneath her eyes and realized just how troubled she was. For the first time since his father’s death, his mother looked fragile.

  “I’m sorry, Mother.” And he was. He never imagined something like this would happen. The strain on his mother had been great, and even though he hadn’t known about the problems, he felt a little guilt for worrying her.

  “Yes, well, Daniel said your sister and I were two out-of-control ninny heads with all our thoughts of conspiracy and murder. Your sister and he had a tremendous fight before we left.”