The Complete Adventures of Toffee

by Charles F. Myers

  In a moment Cecil returned, dragging several lengths of chain after him. At gun point, Marc and Toffee seated themselves in chairs at the far side of the room and submitted unhappily to an iron-clad captivity. George, however, was permitted to move about freely; the brothers had quite rightly reasoned that since ghosts were notorious for romping about in chains, George would probably be quite unhampered by them. After that, cautioning Marc to get to work immediately thinking about the formula, they dispatched them-selves to the huge contrivance in the center of the room and began busily setting dials and levers.

  Marc and Toffee considered the current state of affairs without heart. Toffee turned to George, who had left the catapult and had now arranged himself lazily on a nearby scaffolding. She smiled demurely.

  “Nice George,” she cooed. “You’re going to help us, aren’t you George? You’re not going to leave us sitting here in these awful cold chains. We might catch cold.”

  George crossed his arms complacently over his chest and shook his head. “You should have been nicer to me,” he said pettishly.

  “If there’s anything I hate,” Toffee said, “it’s a spoiled spook.” She turned to Marc. “What are we going to do?”

  MARC shrugged hopelessly. “Just stall, I guess,” he said, “as long as we can, anyway.”

  “And then what?” Toffee asked. “Are you going to give them the formula?”

  Marc shook his head. “No.”

  “They’ll kill you.”

  Marc sighed. “I suppose they will. I only wish I could see Julie again, and explain everything to her.”

  Toffee smiled with unexpected softness. “You really do love her, don’t you?” she asked.

  “I guess I must,” Marc said, “or I wouldn’t feel this way.”

  For a moment they were silent. Then Toffee suddenly brightened.

  “I know what!” she cried. Marc looked up hopefully. “It’s so simple I don’t know why we didn’t think of it right away. All you have to do is go to sleep!”

  “Go to sleep?”

  “Sure. Don’t you remember? I told you. When you go to sleep, I dematerialize. But when you wake up I’m automatically recreated through your awareness. But I can place my shots, so to speak. You see? All you have to do is go to sleep. I’ll disappear and then, when you wake up again, I’ll materialize somewhere else and go to the police for help.”

  Marc thought it over. “It’s worth trying,” he said. “Do you know how to get back to town?”

  “No,” Toffee admitted, “I don’t. But the main thing is just to get out of here, isn’t it?”

  “I don’t see how I’ll ever get to sleep, though,” Marc said. “With so much on my mind it doesn’t seem possible.”

  Toffee nodded thoughtfully. She glanced around, looked at George. “Hey, George!” she called. “Do you know what Marc was just telling me about you?” The ghost looked up. “He said you were the lousiest ghost in the racket. He said he wouldn’t hire you to haunt a rabbit hutch.”

  An expression of dismayed hurt came over George’s face.

  “Well?” Toffee said. “Are you just going to sit there and take it? He also said you wear second hand ectoplasm. If I were you I’d belt him over the head with something.”

  George slowly roused himself from the scaffolding and drifted down to earth. He confronted Marc.

  “Did you say all that?” he asked woundedly.

  Marc exchanged a quick glance with Toffee. “Well, not exactly,” he said. “All I said, really, was that you can’t haunt worth sour apples.”

  “Oh, yeah?” George said. A menacing scowl came into his face.

  “Yeah,” Marc said. “You couldn’t scare a nervous kitten.”

  George’s face flushed with anger. “I could too,” he said.

  “You and how many Frankensteins?” Marc asked.

  “Why, you...!” George exploded.

  “Go tell your mother she wants you,” Marc said. “Stop wasting my time.”

  George whirled about, reached down and picked up a large chunk of wood. He waved it under Marc’s nose. “Don’t you talk to me like that!” he said.

  “Beat it, you phony, before you get your sheet dirty,” Marc sneered. “You’re not scaring anyone.”

  That did it. With an unintelligible burst of wrath and hurt pride, George lifted the block of wood and brought it down on the top of Marc’s head. Then suddenly he started back, his mouth agape. It wasn’t that Marc had slumped, unconscious, in his chair ... that was only to be desired and expected ...but Toffee, with a slight rattle of her chains, had mysteriously disappeared before his very eyes.

  “Oh, my gosh!” George quavered. “How spooky!”

  At the same moment, attracted by the noise of the chains, the Blemishes abandoned their work and advanced rapidly onto the scene. They surveyed the empty chair with wonder, then turned to George.

  “What happened?” they chorused. “What did you do?”

  George looked at them helplessly. “I don’t know,” he said. “I hit him and she vanished. That’s all.”

  “Good grief!” Cecil said. He thought quickly. “She must be somewhere inside the building. She couldn’t get out.” He turned to Gerald. “Let’s hunt her out.”

  Just as they were turning away, Marc stirred and lifted his head from his chest. With great effort, he opened his eyes and glanced at the empty chair beside him. He smiled.

  “What happened?” he asked with great innocence.

  BENNY BUCKINGHAM and his partner Dippy Donahoe crept through the night in stealthy pursuit of their careers. If the two seemed to keep late business hours it was only because of the nocturnal nature of their chosen profession. Plainly, Benny and Dippy were house breakers, and if they took pride in their work and labored long to get ahead it was only a tribute to their mothers’ faith in them.

  Benny and Dippy were perfect partners in that they were perfect opposites. If Benny was large, Dippy was no bigger than a minute, or perhaps even fifty nine seconds. Where Benny was an extremely homely man, Dippy was terribly dapper. There was one thing, however, that this pair held in common; neither of them was noticeably bright in the head.

  Now they crept toward the Maynard mansion, burglary in their hearts, black jacks in their hands and nothing at all in their heads. When, upon arriving at the veranda, they were greeted by the sight of a shapely young redhead decked out in a set of glittering butterflies, it never occurred to them for a moment that the girl could be any other than the mistress of the house, out for a moonlight stroll in her negligee. Summing the situation up thusly, they promptly ducked down behind the balustrade. But they had paused too long; the girl had already seen them.

  “Hello!” Toffee called, leaping to the conclusion that she had discovered the occupants of the house. “Hello, there!”

  Benny and Dippy peered up sheepishly over the edge of the balustrade.

  “My heavens,” Toffee said. “I’m glad you came along.”

  Benny and Dippy exchanged a puzzled glance; they weren’t used to being welcomed on occasions like this.

  “You are?” Benny asked suspiciously. “How come?”

  “I need someone to help me. I can’t get in the house, and I’ve got to use the telephone.”

  “Locked out?” Dippy asked politely. He proceeded warily to the veranda, waving Benny along behind him.

  Toffee nodded. “Would you let me in, please?”

  Dippy glanced uncertainly at Benny, and Benny nodded. He turned back to Toffee. “Delighted,” he said. “Which door would you like opened?”

  Toffee waved her hand at a long line of French windows. “Oh, any one of them,” she said. “I don’t care.”

  With a flourish, Dippy produced a small tool kit from the inner reaches of his jacket and went to work. In a moment the door was open.

  “There you are,” he said. “Bet you couldn’t do it faster with a regular key.”

  “Thank you,” Toffee said. “Were you just coming in?” she as
ked.

  Benny and Dippy, mistaking this for an invitation, stood back for a moment, astonished. Then, loathe to look a gift horse in the mouth too long, they followed after her.

  “Gosh, what a dame!” Dippy whispered to Benny. “She’s got more guts than a fish cleaner. Or do you suppose we’re losin’ our menace?”

  Toffee crossed the room, found a light switch, and turned it on. The most beautiful dining room she had ever seen rose up out of the shadows around her.

  “Isn’t it nice?” she said. “You must be very happy to have found this place. Everything’s so expensive.”

  “Oh, we are, lady,” Benny said weakly. “We’re very happy.” Just then the large suit case which he had been carrying under his coat slipped and thudded to the floor.

  “Oh,” Toffee said. “Were you thinking of packing up a few things?”

  “Well,” Dippy said unhappily, “yes, to tell you the absolute truth, lady, that’s exactly what we had in mind.”

  “Well, don’t let me stop you,” Toffee said airily. “Go right ahead while I use the telephone.” She left in the direction of the hall.

  “Holy gee, Dippy!” Benny exclaimed. “Is that broad right in the head? She acts like she wants to be robbed.”

  DIPPY glanced around the room. “Maybe she don’t like this stuff and wants to get rid of it. Or maybe it’s some sort of insurance pitch. Maybe she’s been out there choppin’ up and down the front porch for nights, just waitin’ for a couple of guys like us to come along. It’s screwy.”

  Benny shrugged. “Well, maybe we should cooperate with her. What have we got to lose?”

  Together they went to the side board to investigate. They pulled open a drawer that fairly gleamed with expensive silver.

  “Oh, boy?” Benny said. “Just look at that stuff.”

  “Yeah,” Dippy said, and picked up a handful. But his manner was hesitant. “You know,” he said, “it don’t seem fair to the profession.”

  “Uh-huh,” Benny said. “I know. Funny, ain’t it? We always been complainin’ about how people take such an uncooperative outlook on our trade and all, but ... oh, gosh. ...”

  “Yeah,” Dippy said gloomily. “Why didn’t she just go on about her own business and leave us alone? She could have at least screamed and carried on or somethin’. That ain’t too much to ask from somebody you’re robbin’. She’s just takin’ an unfair advantage of us, that’s all.”

  “Maybe she just don’t know any better,” Benny suggested charitably. “Anyway, let’s take some of the silver, just a little. She might get her feelings hurt and get sore as hell if we don’t.”

  Just then Toffee came into the room and observed the scene at the side board without concern.

  “Oh,” she said brightly, “taking the silver, I see!”

  With a sigh, Dippy gently replaced the silver he’d taken from the drawer. “You see, Benny?” he said. “See what I mean? She just ruins everything. She don’t give us a chance.”

  Benny turned to Toffee. “We were only takin’ a few pieces,” he said halfheartedly.

  “That isn’t going to do you any good,” Toffee said. “If you’re going to take any of the silver you’d better take it all. But, of course, that’s your business, not mine.”

  Dippy’s shoulders sagged dejectedly. “She makes me feel like bawlin’,” he said.

  “Yeah,” Benny said. “She went and took all the heart out of it.”

  “I wonder if you two would mind doing something else for me?” Toffee asked. “The phone’s dead. ...”

  “Yeah,” Benny said. “We cut the wires. I’m sorry, I wish it had been my throat.”

  Toffee looked at them curiously; she couldn’t imagine why anyone should want to cut the wires to their own telephone. Then it occurred to her that perhaps it was their way of shutting off the service. Obviously they were packing up to leave on a trip.

  Toffee said. “I wonder if you’d mind running me into town? I have to see the police.”

  The shattered burglars sharted violently.

  “You see!” Benny cried. “You see! It’s a trap! She’s gonna turn us over to the police.”

  “Turn you over to the police?” Toffee said, thoroughly confused. “What on earth for? You’ve been very nice to me. Your private lives are your own business as far as I’m concerned. It’s very urgent that I get to the police immediately. Won’t you help me?”

  For a moment the two thugs just stood and stared at each other. Then Benny heaved a great sigh.

  “Come on,” he said. “Let’s take her in, Dippy. Let’s give ourselves up. After tonight I ain’t never goin’ to feel the same about the racket no more.”

  “Yeah,” Dippy said. “Me neither. Come on, lady. We got a car down the road.”

  As they turned to leave Toffee crossed the room to join them.

  “Aren’t you taking anything with you?” she asked.

  The two erstwhile thieves stopped and turned to her with expressions of overwhelming grief.

  “Lay off, lady,” Benny said with sad solemnity. “You just ruined our whole careers. Ain’t you never satisfied?”

  MEANWHILE, back at the old house, the Blemishes and George, after a fruitless search for Toffee, had returned to Marc’s chair. The Blemishes had fallen into a mood of dark contemplation, while George had returned to his scaffolding and his day dreams. Then, suddenly Cecil broke the stillness with a snap of his fingers.

  “I’ll bet I know!” the little man said. “Hey, George!”

  George roused himself. “Yeah?” he said.

  “You say you hit Mr. Pilisworth and the girl disappeared? Just vanished?”

  “Uh-huh,” George nodded. “So help me, that’s what happened.”

  “Then that’s it!” Cecil cried. “I’ve read about it, but this is the first time I’ve seen it!”

  “What’s that?” Gerald asked.

  “The girl is a thought creation! She isn’t real!” He turned to Marc. “That’s true, isn’t it, Pillsworth?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Marc said.

  Cecil turned to Gerald. “With him awake, she’s probably running around somewhere, looking for the police. We’ve got to do something to bring her back.” He thought for a moment. “Do you remember where we put those hypodermics?”

  “I’m not certain,” Gerald said vaguely.

  “Then run along and look for them. Hurry before she goes too far.”

  As Gerald hurried away, Cecil turned back to Marc with a slow smile. “This is going to work out just fine,” he said. “We’ll give both you and the girl a nice long sleep. I doubt she’s had time to do any harm yet.”

  IT WAS only a few minutes later that Benny pulled the car to a stop in front of the police station.

  “Well,” Dippy said with muted gloom, “here it is, lady.”

  Toffee opened the door and started to get out. “You coming along?” she asked.

  Benny shook his head. “They’d never believe it if we told ’em even. We’re goin’ to open up a religious liberry instead.”

  “Well,” Toffee said affectionately. “I certainly want to thank you two for being so kind. I just hope I didn’t interrupt anything for you.”

  Frantically, Benny threw the car into gear and it fairly leaped away from the curb. Toffee stood for a moment staring after them; she could have sworn she’d heard a strangled sobbing sound echo back from the car as it sped away. She turned and started up the steps to the station.

  She walked to the door and was about to shove it open when her gaze went to the stack of newspapers lying to one side of the entrance. She looked at the headline: PILLSWORTH DISAPPEARANCE SHROUDED IN MYSTERY! She picked up one of the papers, folded it quickly under her arm, and continued inside.

  Finding herself in a hallway, she paused uncertainly. Then a door at the end of the hall opened and a large man in a blue uniform moved into view. She ran forward.

  “Look!” she cried. “Maybe you can help me. I w
ant to speak to someone about Marc Pillsworth. I know where he is.”

  The officer swung about abruptly. “Marc Pillsworth?” Toffee nodded. “Come with me.”

  “We’d better hurry, though,” Toffee said. “I may not have much time.”

  The officer led her rapidly down the corridor, up a flight of steps, along another hallway, and finally stopped before an unmarked door.

  “Come on in here,” he said. He opened the door and held it back for her.

  But suddenly Toffee had stopped and a curious look of panic came into her eyes.

  “Oh, no!” she gasped. “Oh, Marc! Not just yet!” And then, as the officer’s eyes grew wider and more frightened, she slowly faded away...

  Back at the old house, Cecil watched with satisfaction as Marc sagged limply in his chair. He withdrew the hypodermic from Marc’s arm and turned to Gerald.

  “Okay,” he said, “let’s go to work on him.”

  CHAPTER XII

  WITHIN the old house there was little evidence of the morning outside. Mr. Adams had boarded over the windows and now the daylight shone through only at the openings of the turrets where the tracks of the catapults reached for the sky. Even these openings, however, had heavy metal shutters which could be closed against bad weather.

  For the moment everything was quiet. The Blemishes were settled at a small table, poring over several sheets of paper. George slumbered loudly on his scaffolding, while below him Marc drooped limply in his chair, held there only by virtue of the chains about his shoulders.

  Then, as the patches of day at the turret openings grew lighter, Marc stirred. As he sat up, the chains made a small rattling sound. The Blemishes glanced up sharply from their studies.

  Painfully, Marc lifted his head and looked out at the world around him with dulled eyes. A blurred vision of Toffee instantly swam into view. She seemed to be holding a newspaper in her hand.

  “There, you see!” Cecil told Gerald. “I was right. She’s a thought creation.”

  “Never heard of it,” Gerald said.

  “Very rare,” Cecil commented shortly. “Particularly one that positive.”

  Across the room Toffee ran quickly to Marc’s side.