Thief: X

by E. I. Jennings,

  “Yes sir. No sir. I’ll tell them.” She hung up and then looked at us, “He says that he’ll see you. He’s in his office.” We went to walk through the turn stiles and I nearly took out my woohoo in the process.

  “Hey, I like having all my parts in working order!” I yelled after I could stand straight. I gave Marshall the stink eye because I could see how hard he was trying to hold his laugh.

  “That’s three hundred and twenty six pounds and twelve pence.” The host said cheerily at me,

  “What the hell?”

  “The Elk will see you but you still have to pay!”

  “It’s twenty pound a ticket…”

  “I told you demons were extra.”

  “Let me guess you can’t afford me again?” Adram sighed. I crumpled my money from my hiding place in my bra and joined in on his sigh,

  “I’ve enough to cover two tickets. I didn’t expect you to be seen. You need to up your glamour to include other supernaturals.”

  “Then no-one would ever see me. Sometimes I think it’s better if I stayed in Hell!”

  “Maybe you should!” I didn’t mean to yell, but my woohoo was still throbbing and not in a good way,

  “Come on.”

  “What?” Adram and I shouted at the same time at Marshall,

  “I’ve paid, so get inside before you create even more of a scene.” Marshall was stuffing a card back into his wallet, “Did you really believe I thought you had pockets in that ensemble of yours?” He pointed at me and smiled,

  “So you’ve given up being a Texas Ranger and joined the fashion police?”

  “Well luckily for you I’m a member of the American Express team.” I snorted at the thought of him in tight spandex with his underwear on the outside and a cape, when I realised that sight might just be a little too appealing to me.

  I felt myself blush at the same time Adram pushed me through the turnstiles and towards thousands of screaming children. And they still wondered why I had knives strapped to me!

  I didn’t need directions to his office but it had changed since the last time I’d been. Probably because I’d blown it up. I admit things tended to explode on me by accident but if I didn’t need to be around to press the button even better. I’d gone in as a tourist with Cam and found the Elk was trading in illegal weaponry. It wasn’t my fault that I hadn’t spotted the C4 and things exploded a little more than they should have. Last time I heard the Elk was looking for me, so this could turn out very bad for me.

  “Are you sure this leads to his office?” Marshall looked at the line to the Ghost Train,

  “Yep, so come on.” I dragged them both into line and waited. I hated queuing at the best of times but queuing for my own death was making me feel a little prickly.

  Finally, a carriage came our way and we were pushed inside. Half way around I rummaged in my bra and pulled out a small bottle. It’s amazing how useful a padded bra could be.

  “Quick, stick this down your pants.” I thrust it into Marshall’s hands and he looked at me like I’d finally lost my marbles. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’d lost those years ago.

  “Why?”

  “Just do it and make sure it’s tucked right in there with your happys.”

  “Happys?” I heard Adram snort behind us,

  “He knows what I mean. Shut up!” I swatted at him as the carriage stopped and a red neon arrow shone overhead. I took that as the cue to get out, “Just stick it in your boxers!” For once he did as I said. “Adram if things turn bad, poof out. The Elk wards to stop things getting in but not out.” Adram silently nodded because he knew the odds were against us.

  Two elves stepped out of the shadows and pushed us through the doors. The Elk had definitely gone upmarket in his new office. It screamed opulent, in a dark and depressing way, with its dark oak covered walls. A large ornate desk sat at one end with a large, red chair sat with its back to us. Other than that there was nothing else, well nothing other than four elven guards. Apparently, he wasn’t taking any risks with me.

  “I would offer you a seat but I don’t suffer fools.”

  “Oh come on Elk, how many times do I have to tell you it was an accident?”

  “You cost me a lot of money X!” His voice boomed around the room and I cringed.

  “Well, you shouldn’t be dealing in weapons should you?” Sometimes I have no control over my mouth and it opened at the most inappropriate of moments,

  “How dare you!” His chair spun around and the sight of him made me laugh to the point I was snorting and couldn’t breathe.

  “What…wh…what?” Yep, I couldn’t breathe. The Elf was sat in a massive Elk costume, antlers and all,

  “The guy called in sick at the last minute and as Edward the Elk is a top act here I didn’t have much choice. Why the hell am I explaining this to you?” He ripped off the plush head and threw it on the floor.

  There was no doubt he was a King of Elves. His jet black hair was tied back from his face making his cheekbones even more prominent but his emerald green eyes could cut straight into your soul. There was nothing human about his eyes as their green depths swirled in anger.

  “What do you want X? I owe you no favours.”

  “Women are being kidnapped…”

  “And how is that my problem?” He was trying to kick off an Edward the Elk foot but it got stuck and one of his guards was trying to pull it,

  “The Librarian’s census says the perpetrator is an unknown elf.”

  “I’ve heard of your escapades with the Librarian. She’s extremely pissed by the way.” Damn she wasn’t dead, “The fact he’s supposedly an elf makes it my problem too. But you already knew this didn’t you?”

  “I’m not an idiot.” The guard was now helping the Elk unzip the remainder of the suit,

  “Have you considered that I already know about Clockwork and maybe, just maybe, the best way to find you was to get you to come to me voluntarily?” Shit! “You owe me X and it wasn’t difficult to get the Librarian on my side. You and your followers should be kneeling and asking for forgiveness instead of demanding anything.” The Elk was now standing in his pin-striped suit glaring at us,

  “If you know where he is you have to tell us.” Marshall grunted,

  “And why would I want to do that?” He said, straightening his tie and rolling his eyes at Marshall,

  “He has my daughter and I’ll beat the information out of you if I have to!” Marshall was marching forward when the Elk bashed his fist on his table,

  “You will kneel!” He yelled and I felt magic tingle across my arms, “Kneel!” I heard Adram fall to his knees first. Marshall was trying to resist but he was soon on his knees. I was still standing biting my nails,

  “Yeah about that, your thrall doesn’t work on me.” I laughed and regretted it when two of his guards bounded towards me. I whipped a couple of knives out and threw them into their shoulders. I was trying not to kill them and get on the Elks even worse side,

  “Prffft, your silver knives don’t work on us.” One of them laughed and then I smelled the burning. The guard dropped to his knees screaming, with the other following suit,

  “That would be my silver dipped, iron knives. It’s amazing what you can get metals to do when you can see them at a microscopic level.” Before I could take pride in my little masquerade, the Elk decided to charge towards me.

  “You will kneel before me or die!”

  Things seemed to happen quickly after his little outburst. First, his hands were around my neck, secondly I saw Marshall struggling with a guard, thirdly I heard shots, and fourthly I was on the carpet not breathing as Marshall was being jumped on by four more guards. The Elk looked down at me with two gunshot wounds in his chest and then I smelled sulphur as his boot came down on my face. Who knew elves could move that fast and how in the hell had they not sensed Marshall’s gun?

  Chapter Twelve

  For the first time in forever, Cain didn’t come to me in my dreams. In
stead, I was churning questions over and over. Why did the Elk know Clockwork? Things were getting murkier the longer we were following this path towards him. Then I had questions about Marshall. He was trying to hold down a sin that would probably kill him if he didn’t let the guilt go soon. Then he'd managed to sneak a gun into the Elk’s office. Surely, his guards weren’t that stupid? This was the reason I kept away from the Fae because I ended up with more questions than answers.

  “Do you think she’s dead?” I felt a kick to my ribs. Apparently, I was coming around from my stretch of unconsciousness,

  “Look, her chest’s moving up and down.”

  “Urgh.”

  “Told you she was alive!” I opened on eye to the image of a nun in my face in full habit, “Where am I?” I croaked and tried to get up. Unfortunately my head had other ideas and I was soon back on the cold floor,

  “Let’s see, you’ve apparently pissed off the Elk, where do you think you are?” The voice came from a darkened corner,

  “Bollocks.” I was in Charkon, and it wasn’t a little hideaway in the Bahamas.

  “Welcome to Hell dear.” A prison in Hell to be exact. The nun held out her arm and I used it as leverage to get my arse up. Shame she felt weird,

  “Urgh the Elk has a big foot.”

  “Xan!” Luckily in the cell opposite was Marshall and he was awake. I looked around and sighed at the damp covered stone walls and metal bars.

  “Doesn’t matter how much you yell, no-one will come.” A thin woman pushed herself from the wall and a black jump suit hung off her like a sack. She must have noticed me looking and sighed, “Yeah, I kinda destroyed my clothes the last time I got pissed and I pleaded with the guards to find me something to wear.” She ran her hand through her long chestnut hair. Her amber eyes gave her away instantly.

  “Wolf?” I questioned while I tried to get my head together,

  “Not according to my father.”

  “Wolves don’t send their bloodline to Charkon, let alone their women.” I said, feeling like I’d been kicked in the head, wait, I had. God damn it!

  “They do if they’re vegetarian.” The nun sniggered,

  “Shut up Sister born again succubus!” Amber eyes latched onto grey ones and for a second I thought there would be a full out fight,

  “I never asked to be a succubus. We are both here because of the choices we made and the stubbornness that burns in our veins. No matter where I am, I will never lose my faith.”

  “Ladies, I don’t mean to interrupt…” We all glared at Marshall at the same time.

  “He does have a point, pet.” I staggered to the bars and squinted. Dorian chose that moment to stalk from behind Marshall,

  “I swear if you set me up…” If I could have reached, my hands would be around his throat,

  “I can explain…”

  “Do you know him?” Marshall said, as he looked at Dorian in his scruffy suit and tattered shirt,

  “It’s because of him I was at that bloody museum when it all kicked off. If you set me up I’ll choke you with my bare hands!” I could feel the anger making me flush,

  “I walked out of my hotel and had a bag stuffed on my head. I’ve been here ever since. I don’t like asking but did you get it?” He smiled and I saw thunder sweep across Marshall’s eyes. Was he jealous?

  “I did…”

  “Excellent.” For a second he actually sounded like Mr Burns,

  “But after I was drugged and kidnapped…”

  “Wait, what?” Dorian actually looked concerned,

  “Are you trying to tell me you knew nothing about the Major? I’m sorry Dorian but it’s too much of a coincidence that you send me there and then all hell breaks loose!” I was shaking my head because I didn’t believe in coincidences,

  “All I wanted was my portrait back. I didn’t know I assure you…I’m sorry.” He was either truly sorry or a good actor. Knowing Dorian, he really could be either or both,

  “As much as I love watching a good argument where the hell are we and how do we get out?” Marshall crossed his arms and I heard Sister Succubus sigh. She may be a nun but she still had lust running through her veins and I could feel it sizzling towards Marshall,

  “We’re in Charkon, a Fae prison.” Dorian nodded at the bars as if it was self-explanatory, “And the last time I heard no-one ever escaped.”

  “That’s because they didn’t expect to end up here. That’s what elves do; they take you by surprise.” I smiled. I hadn’t exactly known we would end up here, but it was one reason I wanted to go alone to see the Elk. This was just one of the possibilities,

  “You knew you would end up here? Who the hell are you?” The wolf said, amber eyes already judging me,

  “I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you.”

  “Oh for God’s sake she’s X.” Dorian rolled his eyes,

  “As in ‘The X’? The fixer?” Apparently the nun had heard of me. It’d been a long time since I’d been called the fixer,

  “Seriously what’s with all the ‘the’s’? Does everyone have a ‘the’ in front of their name now?” All eyes were on me and my little ramble. A week ago I was literally a ghost, a name on the wind and now everyone seemed to know who I was. Fucktoast on a stick!

  “And you’re supposed to get us out? I’ve clawed at these walls for weeks, attacked guards and I’ve not even made it outside these bars.”

  “But I’ve got holy water.” I smirked,

  “What? I searched you when they dumped you in this cell.” Wolfie was getting on my nerves,

  “You still got that bottle down your boxers?” I winked at Marshall and Dorian gave me the evils. He probably thought there was something going on with me and Marshall. Good.

  “Yeah, it’s been digging in my ‘happy’s’ since I woke up.” He emphasised ‘happy’s’ and smiled. I was about to make a snide comment but when he unbuttoned his jeans I really did blush. I admit I really wanted to be his hand as it delved inside to retrieve the bottle,

  “How the hell did you get that in here? Well, I can see how but…how?” Nunny was literally drooling. Those vows were cracking,

  “Men very rarely feel up another man’s crotch when looking for weapons. Probably too insecure about their own sexuality.” Unlike me who really, really wanted to grope some Marshall crotch.

  “I can’t believe you knew this would happen!” Marshall was looking a little pissed but if I’d told him, no doubt he would have tried to stop me. Then I would have had to kick his arse into next week. Then he’d be pissed I’d emasculated his Rangerness.

  “We’ve already established I knew it was a possibility…” I rolled my eyes, “Now splash some bloody water on that lock and get me out!” Marshall looked at me again as if I was talking in tongues, “Seriously just splash some water in the lock.”

  He slowly unscrewed the top and trickled water into the lock. I could see disbelief on his face when nothing happened and I couldn’t help sighing. After a couple of seconds the lock began to sizzle and clicked open.

  “Now come over here and do the same with this one.” Dorian tried to follow Marshall, “You can stay and so can you two. Build the pillows up to look like we’re still sleeping.” I heard the lock sizzling,

  “No way, we’re coming with you!” Wolfie practically screamed and I saw Dorian nodding,

  “We need weapons or none of us are getting out of here. If we all go the guards are gonna notice and raise the alarm.” Everyone looked at me in disgust but they knew I was right.

  “You better come back for us!” Dorian slammed his cell door shut and started to brood in the corner.

  “After you.” Marshall motioned down the torch lit corridor as if I knew where we were going. I smiled sweetly and pushed past him. Unfortunately as I walked I could feel eyes burning into my back.

  We slowly made our way through the labyrinth that was Charkon. I was surprised not to see any guards but then again no one was supposed to get out of the cells. I fe
lt Marshall’s hand on my shoulder as he nodded towards a door I‘d walked past lost in thought.

  “I think this may be it.” Marshall whispered,

  “How the hell do you know? We’ve walked past so many doors.”

  “I just have a feeling.” He shrugged,

  “Oh, that’s ok then!” I was getting snarky because the corridors seemed never ending.

  Marshall pushed the door open keeping me behind him. He obviously had a protective urge and I really wanted to tell him it was wasted on me, when a fist flew into his face. As Marshall was knocked backwards I slipped under his flailing arms and hooked my arms around the guard’s neck and snapped it. The guard fell at my feet and Marshall looked at me horrified,

  “What? Please tell me you still don’t think I’m a shrinking violet. I do what I have to.” I shrugged my shoulders,

  “The fact you just shrugged after killing a man…”

  “An elf actually…”

  “That’s what I mean! Right there! This shit doesn’t even disturb you.”

  “Why would it? This is what I do Marshall and the reason you came to find me from the beginning. Every time I do something like that…” I pointed at the body on the floor, “…I feel it down to my soul but it’s what also gives me strength. When are you gonna get the point that I’m a sin eater?” I was so angry I was surprised steam wasn’t coming out of my ears.

  “I can’t believe you can’t see that what you do is wrong.” Marshall shook his head while I looked around the room.

  Lockers adorned the room, floor to ceiling and I would bet my left breast that’s where I’d find me some weapons. I could feel Marshall stalking behind me and I knew he thought I wasn’t listening as I jimmied open a locker,

  “I was eight years old when I gave in…” it kinda just slipped out of my mouth. I’d never told anyone about the first day I took someone’s sin,

  “Gave into what?” Marshall had joined me in opening the lockers when he found his gun and smiled,

  “Taking a sin. My mom always thought I was a naughty child but until then I was literally feeding myself on my own sins. Adram had tried to explain to me that things would only escalate but he didn’t know how to explain it properly to an eight year old. Anyway…” I smiled having found my set of knives hanging in a locker, “…my dad took me to the village shop and there was this kid. I remember him being younger than me so he was probably five or six at the time. His mom was talking to the shopkeeper and while she wasn’t looking he stole a sweet from the counter and ate it. Adram took the opportunity to finally explain things in a way I could understand…” I sighed but then the next locker opened to a shelf full of Glocks,