by Risk, Mona
“Barbara, I got everything on your list.” He waved the sheet of paper she’d given him. “The two pots, the frying pan, the three baking pans.” He huffed and shook his head. “Seriously, how are you going to cook in this microscopically small kitchen?”
“I’ll manage. I just need utensils. She has nothing here.”
“Why don’t you order from the restaurants around here and ask them to deliver? I eat out every day.”
“Poor Lou, it’s not healthy.” Grabbing the different items from the boxes he’d just opened she stowed them in the cabinet under the counter. “I’ll make you my lasagna tonight.”
“No way. Tonight, I’m taking you out to a nice place for dinner. You’ve worked hard enough all day, first dealing with my stubborn daughter, then here organizing and cleaning.”
“Dinner out will be nice too.” Any time spent with Lou was a nicely spent time. For how long would their cozy arrangement last? A new anxiety she’d never known pinched her insides. His official vacation would come to an end in a few days and he’d have to go back to Atlanta. God, she would miss him so much.
“I guess we’re done here.” He surveyed the living room where a relatively new brown sofa occupied one wall and a two-foot table sat under the large window facing the neighboring building. “I left the car seats in the trunk of the rental car. Tomorrow they’ll deliver two bassinets and a changing table.” He scanned the room, walked to the bedroom and returned with a dubious arch to his eyebrows. “Not sure where they’ll put them though.”
Barbara chuckled. “We’ll manage. I think the place is neat and relatively comfortable for mother and babies.”
Lou crossed his arms over his chest. “But not comfortable for the generous mentor who’s volunteered to help. Barbara, I don’t think you can stay overnight here. I insist you keep your room at the Marriott.”
“We’ll see. Now can you drop me at the hotel to change? I also want to check on Monica.”
“Monica is in good hands. I’ll call her, just to make you feel better. Here talk to her.” He handed her his phone.
“Sweetie, your apartment is lovely. Do you need us to bring you anything?”
“Just have fun with my dad. He’s a different man with you.” The chuckle on the other end of the line sent warmth to her cheeks.
“Monica! Goodnight. See you tomorrow.”
“What did she say to turn your cheeks so pink?” Lou narrowed his eyes.
“She said to have fun.”
His head tilted, he squinted at her and grinned. “Hmm, I think there’s more to it, but I plan for us to have fun. Let’s go.”
An hour later, he knocked on the door of her hotel room. She opened and smiled.
He stared and forgot to smile. She’d donned a sleeveless black dress that revealed a nice cleavage. Her emerald pendant dangled at the right place. “Lovely.” His gaze roamed over her waist and hips. Her high heel sandals enhanced a perfect pair of legs. “Sorry,” he muttered as he realized he was ogling her. “But you’re so damn beautiful.”
“Oh Lou, you’re going to make me blush like a teenager.”
Starving for her, he wished they could forego the dinner and stay in her room. With a gentle press on her back, he pulled her against him. Her heady perfume swirled around them like an enticing veil. “Would it mess up your lipstick if I kissed you?”
Her eyes glimmered with little green stars. “No big deal. But you’ll have lippy all over your mouth.”
As if he cared. His lips captured hers and lingered and savored the sweet taste of her mouth and the bold caress of her tongue. Was it his imagination or had Barbara learned to loosen up and enjoy his kisses?
She softly moaned and a fire erupted in his groin. Aware that he’d soon lose control of his senses, he pulled her back and heaved a deep breath. “Darling, I’d love to keep you in my arms all night.” He cupped her cheeks and brushed a quick kiss on her lips. “We can order dinner here.” Say yes, darling. He wanted her so badly but he wouldn’t ply her with passion and have her resenting him later.
Her beautiful eyes, still dazed, rested on his face. She blinked several times and wiped her forehead. “Oh dear, let’s go, Lou.”
She still wasn’t ready for him.
****
Under Lou’s intense but quizzical gaze, Barbara didn’t eat much although the steak was tender and the vegetables crispy. Her body still tingled from Lou’s kisses and her foot tapped the floor like an out-of-control drum. It’s been so long since she’d felt these crazy feelings—this irresistible need to be surrounded by a loving man’s arms, by his passion. For how long would she be able to keep her sanity and resist? But if she gave in, then what next?
He was used to women ready to follow him to bed. Did he always kiss his girlfriends with the same ardor? And then dump them after a few months. Darn, she didn’t want to end up that way when he acknowledged he considered her a very special friend and trusted her with all his secrets.
Silence stretched between them. Still reeling from their passionate episode, she slowly licked her lips, and remembered the taste of his mouth. They’d shared only a few kisses. Oh but what kisses! She could use a few more.
“You’re too quiet. What’s on your mind?” His voice startled her and she jolted forward.
On her mind? Her leg jerked and her shoe kicked him in the knee. “Oh sorry.”
“Ouch.”
Unease slithered along her spine, but she tried an apologetic smile. “I…I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He bent and rubbed his knee under the table. “You were so far away.”
“Hmm… No.” Reaching for her glass of wine, she drank a big gulp and counted on the fruity taste of Merlot to wet her throat and clear her mind. Her focus flickered from her glass to his curious gaze. He was waiting for an explanation. She jumped at the first idea that hit her. “I’m glad you didn’t insist on the adoption issue.”
Lou shrugged. “How could I separate her from her children when she seemed so attached to them already? God only knows how much I suffered from being separated from my only daughter. It’s not like I couldn’t support them financially. I just want her to understand her responsibilities. Now that you’re getting involved, I’m sure things will work out.” He brought her fingers to his lips and then kept them enfolded in his large palm.
Warmth engulfed her and her pulse raced at double speed. Her previous thoughts teased her all over again. Would he kiss her now?
The waiter rolled the dessert cart next to their table. She freed her hand and waved it. “I’d rather pass.”
Lou asked for a chocolate mousse. “Scrumptious. You must taste.” He fed her a bite. She closed her eyes to savor. It was delicious, even more so because of his fingers roving close to her mouth. “Another one?” She didn’t have time to protest and enjoyed a second dose of the mousse and his subtle caress.
“No more, please.” Or she’d be the one kissing him and tasting the chocolate mousse with an Amaretto flavor on his lips.
He finished his dessert, paid the bill, and stood. “How about an after-dinner drink at the bar next door? They have music.”
She collected her raincoat and purse, and let him usher her out. They strolled hand in hand, and entered the dimly lit bar where a dj played eighties music. Lou chose a table away from the small dance floor where a few couples swung. “What would you have?”
“Bailey Irish Cream.”
He ordered a Manhattan for himself. They watched the dancers until their drinks came.
Lou raised his glass and clicked it against hers. “To us.”
She stared at the ice cubes floating in her drink. Would there be an us after his two-week vacation, when he got back to work and his routine? What kind of us?
“Barbara? You’re far away again?” He sighed and shook his head. “You’re not enjoying yourself.”
“I am, honestly, Lou, I’m having a great time with you.” She smiled and stroked his arm, and gulped half of her drink,
hoping the alcohol would numb her worries.
He grabbed her hand. “Come, let’s dance.” He led her to the dance floor and gathered her in his arms, a hand pressing on the small of her back and another holding her hand against his shoulder. She’d rarely danced during her married life. David preferred cozy dinners or shows for entertainment. Barbara wondered if Lou usually dragged his dates to dancing bars.
“Do you often dance?”
He laughed. “Never. My life is easy to follow. I work, whether in Atlanta or out-of-town. When I go out for dinner, it’s usually a business meeting. I don’t recall dancing since my brother’s wedding.” He captured her gaze. “I just want you in my arms.” He tightened his hold. More tingles sprouted all over her body, in places too warm at the moment, and her arms crept around his neck.
They swayed to the soft music, hardly moving from place. Lulled by his words and the tune of the love song, Barbara inched her cheek to Lou’s. His stubble gently tickled her and surges of heat billowed into her belly.
Heaven couldn’t be more pleasant. She closed her eyes and savored her piece of heaven.
When the music stopped, Lou didn’t let her go. “We’ll wait for the next, and the next…” he whispered. With the music still chiming in her ears and Lou’s heartbeat thrumming in tune, Barbara continued her swaying.
They danced until the dj announced a half hour break and then returned to their places.
Barbara’s heart floated on cloud nine. Was it possible to fall in love at fifty-five? After sharing a happy thirty years with a very dear husband? How should she label the meltdown that had her hanging on Lou’s neck for dear life?
Still she couldn’t stop a nagging doubt from overwhelming her. After more than ten days of almost constant companionship and highly emotional moments in Monica’s hospital room, all Lou seemed interested in was kissing and flirting with her.
Not that she’d tried to rebuke him. Heck, she was as eager to kiss him as he was her, but before falling into his arms and losing her head, she needed some answers, some reassurance that they’d be heading toward a long-term relationship.
Long-term, as she understood it. With a firm commitment on his part.
Barbara sipped on her drink and mused the meaning of the little word that confused her before they danced.
Lou emptied the rest of his glass. “Earth to Barbara.”
“Lou, you toasted to us. What do you mean by us?”
Had Lou ever considered commitment?
Chapter Ten
What did he mean by us? Lou focused a stunned look at Barbara. How like her to shoot what was on her mind without hesitation. But the question came at the right time when he was considering how to broach the subject dear to his heart. Now that she’d cornered him he hoped he could phrase it right. Or better use an appropriate introduction, to bring the conclusion smoothly, naturally…
He scowled at his empty glass. “Waiter, a refill, please,” he ordered with his most grouchy tone and crumpled his paper napkin. “And one for the lady too.” He wanted her in a mellow mood, a receptive frame of mind.
Barbara arched her eyebrows. “Is it so difficult to explain?”
Yes, damn it. “Not at all.” Smile you idiot. You’re going to scare the hell out of her with your scowl. “It’s just that I’ve never made such a declaration to any woman before.”
“Oh Lou, I understand and I’m really touched.” She clasped his hand. Her lovely smile melted his insides.
“You know everything about me. I’ve never been a saint, more like a big sinner, but I’ll spare you the details. If I’d met you at twenty instead of that Jennifer who screwed up my youth I’d have grabbed you right away. Like David did.”
“It’s never too late to be happy.” She tilted her head and waited.
Hmm, she probably expected the rest of his declaration. Why was his throat so dry? He brought her fingers to his lips and trailed hot kisses over her palm and the inside of her wrist. Then he gulped his drink aware the moment had come to pop his question.
“Darling, you’re so dear to me, I can’t imagine myself living one day without you.”
Her beautiful eyes glittered, so turquoise and luminescent. He wished they were in a more private place where he can hold her in his arms and let her hear the beating of his heart.
“I love you too, Lou. I never thought it would be possible at our age to fall in love again, especially after spending my whole life with one man. But it happened,” she added with a sheepish smile.
“My darling Barbara.” Lou brought his chair close to hers and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. His lips captured hers in the tenderest kiss he’d ever given to a woman. He knew they’d be happy together.
Keeping his arm around her, he focused on her beautiful smile. “You know I always lived on my own. My place is small compared to your big house. But my two-bedroom condo is comfortable, even luxurious, with an exceptional view from the office, and the bedroom is quite spacious.” He noticed her smile was dwindling and hastened to reassure her. “Regardless, I don’t mind you fixing it any way you want. Or we can even move to a bigger place.”
“And?” She’d stopped smiling. “What are you getting at Lou?”
“Uh…I’m trying to tell you, you’re very special to me, darling. I can’t live without you. I know you promised Monica you’d stay with her for a few days, but right after, I hope you’ll come with me to Atlanta. I have to go back to work. I want you with me, my darling.”
Her gaze frosted and her lips pinched. Had he said something wrong? “I know I suck at declarations and proposals.”
“Yes, you suck big time.”
“I’m glad you understand me so well.” He chuckled, hoping to melt the ice in her eyes. Her back stiffened and his followed suit. He dropped his arm from around her. “Something is wrong. Help me out, sweetheart.”
“Let me make sure I understand your proposal.” It was his turn to frown. Why did she sound so sarcastic?
“Yes, go ahead.” Unease crept through him.
“You’re asking me to leave my house, and move in with you, and live with you in your condo in Atlanta. Do I have this right?”
He nodded. She understood him all right. So what was the problem and why did she look so upset? “Don’t worry. We’ll go to your house for the holidays. I’d love to share the family atmosphere with you. We can even invite Monica, since you two are getting along so well.”
“That’s very thoughtful of you to let me organize my holidays in Kentucky.”
She still had that frown. If anything, it deepened. “Maybe I forgot something?”
“You sure did.” She raised her left palm and rubbed her ring finger with the index finger of her right hand.
“Oh I see.” He chuckled. “A woman always likes a ring. Don’t worry, my darling. You’ll choose a ring yourself and the matching necklace, earrings and bracelets.”
“Lou!” Her high-pitched tone froze the words in his throat. “I don’t need jewelry. I have more than enough. We need wedding bands, and a priest to bless them in a church during a wedding ceremony. I can’t believe, I had to spell it out for you.”
His jaw sagged and he remained speechless for a moment. Silence hovered over them as they squinted at each other, their breathing heavy.
“Barbara, we’re not twenty anymore. You already had your big church wedding with the beautiful long white dress. We don’t need that at fifty. We can trust each other.”
“It doesn’t work this way for me, Lou. I have my personal moral values and I’ll hold on to them.”
She wanted a marriage. He would have agreed, but he didn’t believe in marriage anymore. “My two brothers married in a church and my mother was thrilled. Larry divorced after two years, remarried, and divorced again. Lamar stayed married five years, divorced, and never married again. The wedding bands, church and legal papers didn’t keep them with their spouses.”
“They didn’t love their spouses the right way, without selfishn
ess. Or maybe they…I don’t know, Lou. Your brothers are not my concern. All I know is that I believe in long-term relationship. But you seem afraid of commitment.” Barbara sighed and averted her eyes.
Was he going to lose her? She admitted she loved him. Maybe he loved her too and didn’t know how to recognize that scary feeling. Larry and Lamar had claimed to love their wives, yet they fought and almost killed each other. Monte Damon was head over heel in love with his wife but cheated on her. In his jet-set world, long successful marriages were rare. That’s why Barbara’s loyalty had impressed him so much. And he didn’t want her to slip out of his arms.
“Sweetheart, maybe with time, we can legalize our situation, if it’s that important to you.”
“So what you suggest is a trial period in your bed to check if I meet your expectations?” She pushed her chair and stood. “Please, take me back to the hotel, Lou. I’ve had it with this conversation.”
“Barbara, no please. Don’t take it that way. I never meant to offend you.”
“I know Lou, but we belong to two different worlds. I was ready to leave Kentucky for you. I can adjust and have fun at your parties. But I can’t accept cheaters and I can’t compromise my values because you don’t believe in them.” Her eyes shining with tears, she spun and marched to the door.
He felt like a jerk. And yet he’d been honest with her.
Riled by the turmoil in his life, he threw a fifty dollar bill on the table and ran after her. She’d already waved to a taxi. Lou grabbed her arm, tucked her hand in the crook of his elbow, and walked her back to the bar where he asked the valet for his car.
They didn’t say a world during the drive back to the hotel or in the elevator. He followed her to her room. She paused at the door and faced him. “Tomorrow, we bring Monica and the babies to her apartment. And then you can do what you want.”
“So I’m dismissed, just like that. And I lost my best friend.”
“Lou, I won’t lie to you. I’m hurting too much at the moment to talk to you. Give me time to calm down and smother my feelings, and I’ll be back to normal.” She opened her door, stepped into her room, and held it ajar.
