Love Notes (Rocked by Love #1)

by Susan Scott Shelley

  Brendan nodded at Irisa. "I'll go with you."

  "Me too. I want some answers." Landry cracked his knuckles.

  If he went anywhere near Luke, he'd kill him. "Fuck him. I'm going home and making some calls. We'll replace him. Let him go."

  "You can't make that decision on your own," Irisa sighed and dragged a hand through her hair. "He's not his normal self. You can't just boot him out."

  The fans had wrecked the stage, he and the guys were wearing evidence of their anger, and she wanted him to feel sympathy for the bastard? "You see him here? He made his choice. I'm making the calls."

  He caught Brendan's gaze. The always-joking drummer's features were set in grim lines. "Might as well. We don't know if he's coming back for tomorrow night's show either."

  Jayne walked toward Irisa. "I'll come with you too, if you think it will help." She looked as bewildered and uncertain as he'd ever seen her, playing with her necklace. Volunteering to put herself in Luke's path didn't make sense, unless she was doing it as a support to his sister.

  "No." Zander reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers. "Come with me. I need to feel like I have at least one person on my side."

  Landry stepped in front of him. "I'm on the band's side. Something you and Luke seem to have forgotten lately." He moved toward the door. "See you guys there."

  Brendan jangled his keys in his hand. "Landry's right. We're all out of tune."

  With his sister and band mates gone, quiet descended upon the small room. Drained, frustrated, and so fucking tired, Zander gave his guitar one more inspection and then closed it in its case. He'd need to remove the strings and properly clean it when he got home. Leaning on the table, he dropped his head to his chest. Everything was so messed up.

  Jayne's arms slid around his waist. Her head rested against his back. She didn't say a word. He laid his hand over hers and squeezed. Her quiet breaths and the scent of her perfume calmed him.

  "I'm going to grab a quick shower."

  "Want some help?"

  He smiled and turned, wrapping her in his arms. "If you get in there with me, we won't be going anywhere for a long time."

  "A repeat of this morning? Promise?" Blue eyes studied his face. Her hand cupped his cheek. "Are you okay?"

  Flipping through a mental file of possible replacements for Luke, he pulled her closer. "I can't let what happened tonight happen again."

  "Do you think you'd be able to find someone who can finish out the tour?"

  "Not in time for tomorrow night's show."

  "Why did he walk out tonight?"

  "We had a discussion about adding in that new song."

  Lines formed between her brows. "And that made him walk out?"

  "I guess. That's what started it off."

  "Don't you think that's a pretty strong reaction? Maybe something else really is going on with him." Her fingers moved to rest on his chest. "The first time you played the song at practice, he got angry. When you played it in the dressing room, he got angry. When you played it at sound check, you said he walked out. Maybe something about it sets him off. Music can dredge up all kinds of memories."

  "So what are you saying?"

  "Despite what I've experienced, Irisa keeps telling me Luke's a nice guy. And I know you guys have been friends for years, even if things are tense right now. Maybe you should check on him before you make any phone calls."

  "You think I should go to his place."

  "I do."

  "Even after what he did to you?"

  Her shoulders lifted in a delicate shrug. "You said yourself that he's never acted this way before. It's hard, but I'm trying. You're his best friend. You can try harder. He's being a dick, but I think you're the only one he'd confide in. Even pissed off."

  He pressed a kiss to her lips. She was a better person than him. "All right. Let's go."

  When they pulled up outside of Luke's house, the houselights were on and Irisa's car was in his driveway. His sister must have been inside. "He's home."

  Jayne nodded. She'd grown quiet during the drive.

  "You can wait here if you want."

  "No. I'll come with you."

  Brendan and Landry parked ahead of them. The men stepped on the sidewalk.

  Zander waved his hands to the friends he'd known for over a decade to wait up for him. "He's doing this stupid, reckless shit. I don't understand it."

  "Me either." Brendan shook his head. "I don't even know him anymore."

  Landry focused his gaze on the house. "Did you call anyone?"

  "Jayne thought we should come here first. See him. Talk to him."

  The bassist nodded. "Griffin told me they're having a hard time controlling Seth, but if they release him from the band they're worried he might end up in a worse place without anyone watching over him."

  "Yeah, but Seth has a history of drug problems. That's not Luke's deal." Zander reached for the comfort of Jayne's hand.

  Soft fingers curled around his. "None of you know what Luke's deal is yet. If you're worried about him, you can keep better tabs on him if he's with you on tour."

  "True." Landry nodded again. "He's always had a temper, but not like this."

  The lines of tension in Brendan's face lightened. "Then we're agreed, he stays. But now, we need to talk to him."

  As a group, they approached the door. Landry leaned on the doorbell. When it opened, he pushed past Luke. "What the hell?"

  Zander followed Brendan. He met Luke's gaze and fresh anger broke out again. "We want an explanation."

  "I shouldn't have walked off." Luke shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged.

  "Damn straight." His heart pumped and his nerves fired.

  Landry pushed up his jacket sleeves. "We need you on stage, not in a fucking bar when we're in the middle of a goddamn show."

  Luke glared at him. "I already said I shouldn't have walked out. I'm sorry, okay? I fucked up. Fire whoever you hired. No one's taking my place."

  "You think so, huh?" Zander edged closer, searching for…something…regret, remorse, a hint of the old Luke.

  "Yeah. I do." Luke squared off, rolling his shoulders.

  "Come on, guys." Irisa pushed in between them.

  "Stand down." Glaring, Brendan nudged in, forcing Luke back another step. "If one of you messes up your hands, you might not be playing tomorrow night. Cool it." He turned his gaze to Zander. "He apologized. Yeah, we're all still ticked off at each other, but let's not make this even worse."

  He read the unspoken request. Don't say something you'll regret.

  Gentle fingers brushed the back of his arm. "Come on, Zander. I don't think he's in the mood to talk. Let's go." Jayne's clear voice cut through his anger, pleading. "Let's just forget tonight happened."

  "Pretty hard to forget." But he couldn't ignore the tremor in her voice. Muscles tense, he took a step back, then another, until Jayne came into his field of vision. She didn't like fighting. Sure enough, she gripped her necklace around her fingers. Her discomfort doused his need to press further. They'd keep Luke around and try to figure out what the hell was going on. He slid his arm around her shoulders. When he reached the door, he turned back to Luke. "You better show up tomorrow night."

  "I'll be there." Luke crossed his arms over his chest. "Count on it."

  Zander closed the door at his back. Counting on Luke didn't inspire the confidence it once had. Hopefully it wouldn't turn out to be a mistake.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Jayne was glad to see Luke arrive for sound check the next evening. Hopefully, it would prove that Zander and the guys had made the right choice. Luke had arrived with Irisa, grunted at his band mates, and ignored her. But the show went on. She stood backstage and listened to him talk to the crowd. He'd gone along with the story of his voice being strained, and told the crowd how awesome they were. The crowd was very forgiving. No thrown food or beer.

  Beside her, Irisa seemed calmer. Jayne nudged her. "How are things?"

  "A
fter I left Luke's last night, I stopped at the pub in my building for a drink. I ran into Dom. We talked, and things are getting back to being okay."

  "That's good. I like him." Dom seemed a lot more worthy of Irisa than Oliver had been. She wanted to see her friend happy. The less stressed, the better.

  A few days later, the band flew in to San Jose. Two shows there, on Saturday and Sunday, followed by two shows in Sacramento on Monday and Tuesday.

  Jayne stared at the view of San Jose from the hotel room. Not much of a view from the third floor.

  Zander dropped his suitcase on the bed. They'd done away with separate rooms. "Are you going to see your parents while you're in town?"

  "I might skip it. They're probably busy."

  "I'm sure they'd like to see you."

  "We're not very close. But it has been a while." Feeling guilty, she made the calls and arranged to meet her dad for lunch and her mom for morning coffee. When she ended the call, she found him watching her with an odd expression on his face. "What?"

  "You look stressed."

  "My parents have that effect on me." She spun her pendant on the necklace chain. "Dad works for a software developer. He travels a lot for business and is on his second marriage. My mom also works with computers but on the cyber security side, and she's just divorced husband number three."

  "And somehow two techies raised a musically-inclined child who makes her living traveling with rock bands." He raised his brow and smiled. She appreciated his attempt to lighten the moment.

  "I didn't want to be like either one of them." She began unpacking to give herself something else to focus on.

  Zander's hands clasped her shoulders. He drew her against him. "I'll come with you and be your buffer."

  She laid her hands over his. "I appreciate it. I just hope you won't regret it."

  On Sunday morning, they met her mother at a coffee shop near her home. Though still beautiful, her mother's bitterness aged her far beyond her years. She vented about divorce and lawyers for a good fifteen minutes before asking Zander anything about himself or asking Jayne how the tour was going.

  Finally the topic switched to the tour, but her mom wasn't ready to let go of tying everything back to her most recent ex-husband. "Hell, I couldn't trust my husband on business trips. I don't know how any musician's wife could trust her man on the road. You must know what I mean, Zander. I'm sure woman throw themselves at you all the time."

  Jayne gripped her mug as heat flushed into her cheeks. "Mom."

  Zander winked at her. "Well, I'd want my wife to travel with me. In fact, it would be great if she already worked in the business." Reaching under the table, he grasped Jayne's hand. "I wouldn't want long separations. The most successful relationships are the ones where spouses take an active role in each other's lives. When I get married, I want my wife with me all the time."

  That quieted her mom for all of a minute. "Are you seeing your father while you're here?"

  "Later today." She toyed with her coffee stirrer.

  "Is he still with that tramp?"

  "If you mean his wife, then yes. And I'm not talking about him."

  The visit wrapped up after that.

  The meeting with her dad wasn't much better. He'd arrived late, taken three phone calls, and managed to throw a veiled insult at her mother, all in under thirty minutes.

  When they returned to the hotel room, she slipped off her heels and sat on the edge of the bed. "And now you see why I don't spend a lot of time with them. They're always that way. I don't understand how two people can still try to hurt each other after so many years."

  Zander sat beside her. "I'm sorry I pushed you to call them."

  "It's okay. They aren't like your parents. Irisa's told me how well your parents get along—how well you all get along. I would have killed for that growing up. Actually, I'd still love to have it now. I'm so tired of everything being a battle with them. They didn't divorce until I was fifteen. From the time I was little, I blamed myself for their fighting. If I'd been a better student, or a better piano player, or better daughter, then maybe they'd magically get along. But no matter what I did, it was never enough to stop the fighting."

  "It's not your job to make them happy."

  She nodded. "I know that now. So I put my foot down. I won't listen to them talk badly about each other. But that still doesn't stop me from getting caught in the middle."

  He wrapped his arms around her. "I need to make you smile. Right now."

  "You were with me today. That's enough to make me smile." She pressed her cheek into his chest, inhaled his scent, and sighed. "We have a few hours until we need to leave for the arena. Let's order room service and lounge around."

  "Deal. I'll order it. Why don't you hop in the shower? Let the hot water relax you and I'll be in soon to wash your back."

  "Wash my back? Is that what we're calling it today?" She smiled and sent him a seductive glance over her shoulder before closing the bathroom door.

  He joined her, but kept his touches light and teasing, and then slipped out claiming he'd heard room service arrive.

  When she came out of the bath, two covered dishes were on the desk and a jeweler's box was on the bed. "What's this?"

  He smiled. "Open it and see."

  Nestled inside the box was a rose-gold necklace with a pink diamond heart pendant. "It's beautiful."

  "I notice you touch your pendant a lot when you're nervous or anxious."

  Her hand lifted to where her pendant usually hung and she laughed. "I guess I do. I never thought about it."

  "Well, now when you touch this one, maybe you'll think of me, and maybe that will help you feel better. And the color reminded me of your hair."

  She was touched he'd think of a gift with such meaning that showed he'd paid attention to her. "I love it. But this is too much. This is like something you'd give a wife or a serious girlfriend…not a short-term fling."

  "Jayne. You're not a short-term fling."

  Her heart pumped fast—a drumbeat in her chest. "But…that's what we agreed."

  Zander wrapped her hand in his and drew her down to sit beside him on the bed. "I want to change that agreement. I care about you."

  This seemed more serious than the I care about you's they'd exchanged early on. Her heart wanted to dance but her mind put on the brakes. "But…"

  His grip tightened. "I want to throttle your parents. It's no wonder you're jaded. The fact that you'd even consider dating me is a miracle. Your parents' marriages haven't worked out, but that's not to say that every marriage will fail. A lot of rock stars I've known haven't had successful relationships, but that's not to say that every rock star relationship is doomed to fail. I think we should break the cycle. I want us to give it a shot. When the tour's over I'd like to keep seeing you."

  The tour still had a few weeks left. And then she'd have a short vacation before Vendetta's tour would take her away from Zander for a few months. She didn't like the idea of being separated from him for such a long time. "I guess we could try."

  His smile widened across his face. "That's all I'm asking. Now try on that necklace. I want to see it on you."

  After fastening the necklace around her neck, she glanced at the pendant. The heart hung just above the swell of her breasts.

  "You're so beautiful." Zander traced his finger around the heart, grazing her skin.

  She trailed kisses over his face. He answered back with lingering kisses on her lips and fingers. Sunlight brightened the room as they fell across the bed.

  She leaned into him, stroking his muscles, and tugged his shirt off. He peeled off her tank top and jeans before ridding himself of his pants and shirt. Her underwear and bra, and his boxers quickly followed. Clothes littered the floor like confetti.

  Wrapped in each other, they sank onto the bed, mouths tasting, hands teasing. She pushed him back and kissed a path from his chest to his straining arousal. He groaned as she placed a kiss on the tip, and then moaned when she took
all of him inside her mouth. Her pendant swung and tapped the base of his shaft. A harsh groan sounded and Zander's hands dove into her hair. Cradling her head, he guided her movements.

  "Stop." The word gasped out a moment before his hands tightened their hold.

  She released him and with a smile, he tugged her on top of him. His fingers traced the line of her neck and down her back, and came to a rest at her hips before slipping between their bodies to drive her as crazy as she had driven him.

  She guided him inside her and arched into warm palms and strong fingers. He sucked in a breath and closed his hands over her hips, holding her in place as she began to move. Thrusting into her, he quickened the pace. She tossed her head back as pleasure arrowed into her and she rode out the wave until it crashed, then melted onto Zander's chest.

  Kissing her, he reversed their positions, and slipped her legs onto his shoulders. They watched each other as he plunged inside. She felt him deeper, felt their connection deepen, as he lost his grip on his control.

  She caressed his back while his panting eased.

  He smiled down at her. "When I get my energy back, I promise I'll grab the plates."

  "What did you order?"

  "Pasta." He nipped at her lips and then rolled off of her. "So we can refuel and do this again."

  Laughing, she kissed his shoulder, and then held up her pendant, twisting it so all the different facets caught the light.

  Zander was that way—all these different sides that not everyone got to see. But she did. He'd let her in. And she loved everything she'd seen.

  Loved.

  The word caused a funny feeling in her chest.

  He slid off the bed—confident in his own skin—uncovered the dishes then presented them, offering her first choice between Pasta alla Norma and Spaghetti Carbonara. She could imagine spending every day with him.

  She loved how he made her feel.

  She loved him. But instinctively knew it was too soon to tell him.