Upstairs, Emily had locked her door. I knocked gently.
‘Emily, let me in.’
‘Go away.’
‘But this is ridiculous. I can explain.’
Emily opened the door. ‘Like you explained about Roz. Seems to me that you have a string of girls all thinking that they’re your girlfriend. Well, I can tell you now, I’m not going to be one of them. I like boys who are honest. And clear.’
‘Look, let me come in. Let’s talk.’
‘Talk all you want. I’ve called a taxi to take me to the station. It’s coming any minute,’ she said as she went back into her room and stuffed her clothes into her bag.
‘But it’s three hours back to London. And there were so many places I wanted to show you.’
‘Show them to your other girlfriends, Mac. I won’t be messed around like this.’
At that moment, a car beeped outside. Emily went to the window and looked out.
‘That will be my taxi,’ she said, then picked up her bag and walked past me. ‘Excuse me.’
I followed her downstairs. ‘No, really, Emily. Please. Give me a chance. Let me explain, at least.’
At the foot of the stairs, she turned to me, her expression completely cold. ‘Say thanks to your mum and your gran. Oh and Jade. It was nice meeting them.’
And with that, she went out the front door, got into the taxi and was driven away.
I WENT BACK UP to my room and locked the door. Life just isn’t fair, I thought as I paced up and down. I felt in complete turmoil. Should I follow her to the station? Should I call her? Should I throw myself off the nearest bridge? Women. There’s no pleasing them. Why hadn’t she given me a chance? I could have explained. But then how would it have sounded? I’d asked my ex-girlfriend to lie and pretend we were still an item to put Roz off. It sounded cowardly, that’s how it sounded. Maybe it was a good thing I hadn’t tried to explain. Oh hell, oh hell, oh hell. I felt angry. With myself, with Emily, with Becca, with everyone. I just couldn’t win, no matter what I did and now Emily thought I was a love rat with a string of girlfriends.
I tried Emily’s mobile but as expected, it was on voicemail. I didn’t leave a message. She probably wouldn’t listen to it if she thought it was me.
I lay on the bed and listened to some music but no matter how loud I turned it up, it wouldn’t drown out my thoughts.
Mum kept knocking on my door so after a while, I let her in. ‘What was all that about?’ she asked.
‘Big misunderstanding.’
‘But what could have possibly happened? You were getting on so well before.’
‘Don’t want to talk about it.’
Mum sat on the end of the bed. ‘Mac, you can talk to me. You didn’t . . . did you try to get Emily to do something she didn’t want to do?’
‘Muuuum. No! I wouldn’t do that. What do you think I am?’ I couldn’t believe she would even think such a thing.
‘A sixteen-year-old boy. I remember how carried away they used to get in my day.’
‘Muuum . . .’
‘So what happened? Emily seemed so upset when she came in.’
‘Becca. Becca only went and pretended that she was still my girlfriend.’
‘But . . . I thought it was over with you two?’
‘It is.’
‘So why on earth would she pretend to still be your girlfriend?’
‘Ah . . .’ No way could I explain that. ‘Look, Mum. I just need some time alone. Please. It was just a big misunderstanding about something.’
Mum got up. ‘If that’s what you want but . . . I’d like to help.’
‘Thanks, Mum,’ I said as she left the room. My whole life is a mess, I thought as I lay back on the bed. Outside the sun is shining but in here, there’s only gloom.
I caught sight of my miserable reflection in the mirror on the back of the door. ‘Oh, get a life,’ I told myself.
I went over to my desk and tried to do some drawings. After a few half-hearted attempts, I gave up. That definitely wasn’t happening. What could I do with myself? I hated feeling like this and soon Jade would be around and then Gran. No doubt they would want all the sordid details about why Emily left. I had to get out and fast.
I rang Squidge’s number but like Emily’s, it was on voicemail. He was probably out some place with Lia. Where could I go? Somewhere to take my mind off all of this? There must be someone or some place to distract me, I thought, otherwise I’m going to lose my mind. Suddenly I had an idea. Should I? Shouldn’t I? Oh, to hell with it, I thought as I reached for the phone.
‘Hey, Mac, I’m so glad you called,’ said Shazza. ‘I was hoping you would. Want to come over? I was just sitting here in the garden catching some sun and reading some mags. Come over and hang out. My parents are out for the day so we’ll have the place to ourselves.’
‘I’ll be there as soon as I can,’ I said and took down the directions she gave me. She lived in a remote part of the peninsula, slightly off the bus route – but why not? I thought. I’m a free man. She’s a free woman and she might take my mind off things for the afternoon.
The bus service on a Sunday is slow and when I got down to Cremyl, it looked like the one that left for near where Shazza lived had just gone. It would be two hours before the next one arrived so I decided to walk. The fresh air might clear my head, I thought as I set off up the road.
It took an hour and a half to get there but I made it. Up a dirt track and there it was, an old farm house with barns out the back. By the time I got there, I was sweltering as it was a hot day with not a cloud in the sky.
Shazza answered the door in a tiny turquoise bikini. I felt myself blush as she has an amazing body. It was hard not to look at her boobs, as they were just about falling out of her bikini top.
‘Fab day, isn’t it?’ she said as she motioned me to follow her. She led me through the house and into the back garden where there were a couple of deck chairs and she’d laid out a blanket on the lawn. ‘Take your T-shirt off. Get comfortable. Do you want a pair of shorts?’
‘Er, no. Thanks,’ I said as I stripped off my T-shirt. ‘I’m fine.’ Actually I was still boiling but I wasn’t taking off my jeans. My legs were still lily white from the winter.
Shazza, on the other hand, had no inhibitions and lay on the blanket and stripped off her bikini top. My eyes almost fell out of my head. This was proving to be a lot more of a distraction that I’d imagined. Woah, wahey, I thought. My first glimpse of an almost naked girl. Maybe it was going to turn out to be my lucky day after all.
‘You don’t mind, do you?’ she said as she tucked her top under the blanket. ‘Only I hate getting sun marks. It looks so naff and I’m sure I haven’t got anything you haven’t seen before.’
‘Oh! No. You go ahead. No. Fine. Lovely.’ Oh shut up, Mac, I thought. Stop acting like the village idiot and stop staring at her boobs.
I tried to adopt a ‘man of the world’ type stance and look cool as Shazza motioned for me to sit down next to her then picked up a bottle of sun tan lotion.
‘You’re pretty white,’ she said looking at my chest. ‘Here. Lie down and I’ll put some lotion on you.’
Holy Moley, if Squidge could see me now, I thought, as I lay down and she began to apply lotion to my chest and arms. I was glad I’d kept my jeans on – the sight of Shazza with no top on and then kneeling over me was having quite an effect. Mainly in the trouser department. I hoped that Shazza hadn’t noticed that my jeans now had an embarrassing lump in them. Squidge calls it Polonius Plonker. Always standing to attention at inappropriate moments. And my old Polonius certainly was now.
After she’d applied the lotion, we lay in the sun and chatted and Shazza told me all about how she wanted to train to be a beauty therapist and move to Plymouth or Bristol. It was strange. It was relaxing as I wasn’t doing anything but lying in the sun with a half naked girl but I also felt incredibly tense. Get a grip, I kept told myself. This was the kind of moment I’d been dreami
ng of as Shazza was like a fantasy babe who’d stepped off the pages of one the magazines I’m not supposed to have.
After an hour or so, Shazza went in to get some juice. Life is strange, I thought, as she brought the tray out to us. You really don’t know what’s around the corner. Only this morning, I was walking in the woods with Emily, worried about holding her hand and now here I am with my very own Page Three girl, bouncing towards me as I lie here in her garden.
Shazza lay down on the blanket next to me, close next to me, so that our thighs were touching, and looked at me coyly. So many times, I’d got the signals wrong in the past but it seemed to me that she was definitely giving me the come on. I shifted over and put my arm around her. She snuggled in. The feel of her skin against mine felt incredible. It was like silk. Oo-er, there goes Polonius Plonker again, I thought, as I felt a stirring in my jeans. But wow, this is definitely my lucky day! I liked Shazza. She was everything that Squidge had said. Easygoing. Made you feel comfortable. And she knows exactly what she wants and isn’t afraid to go for it.
Five minutes later, we were snogging. It felt amazing – sun shining down on us, her in my arms all oily from the lotion, the lemony scent of her hair. And she didn’t seem to mind where I put my hands. Any moment now and I was going to get my first feel of a girl’s breasts. I began to feel that I’d died and gone to heaven.
And then suddenly Shazza let out a sob, turned away, sat up and burst into tears.
Crumbling crustaceans! I thought as I sat up with her.
‘What?’ I asked. ‘What did I do?’
‘Nooothing,’ she sobbed. ‘It’s not yo-ooou. It’s meeee.’
She carried on sobbing for a few moments so I put my arm around her and stroked her back. ‘What is it? Come on, Shazza, you can tell me.’
‘Juuuu . . . ust . . . no one ever takes me seriously . . . everyone . . .’ sob, sob, sob.
‘What? Everyone what? Come on, you can tell me.’
Shazza wiped her eyes and sniffed. ‘I’m sorry, Mac. Sorry. Just . . . well, everyone always thinks, you know, “Shazza, good for a laugh. A bit of fun and . . .”’ Sob, sob. ‘They don’t realise that I have . . . feeeeeeeeelings . . .’ And off she went, sobbing her heart out again.
Oh. My. God. I thought. What the hell do I do now?
I gently stroked her back a little longer and after a while, her sobs subsided and she turned to look at me. ‘I . . . I can tell you’re not like the rest of them, Mac. You’re not a user . . . you’re really sweet and not just here for what you can get . . .’
Oh bugger, I thought as I cuddled her in to my shoulder and realised suddenly that I was. I was. I was a user. The worst possible kind. And I felt awful about it. She laid her head on my shoulder and snuggled into my neck. I hadn’t a clue what to say but it didn’t matter as for her the floodgates had opened and out came pouring the whole sad story of her love life. All the boys who had come and gone in her life, dated her and snogged her and then just as she was getting keen on them, they’d dump her and move on. In between telling me all about them, she’d sob and I began to feel sorry for her as she was clearly a nice girl.
When she’d finished talking, we lay for a while in the sun and I gently stroked her hair.
‘What’s wrong with me?’ she asked. ‘Why does it always happen to me? All I want is to have a good time but no one seems to want to stay with me for long.’
‘Nothing’s wrong with you,’ I said. ‘You deserve better. You’re a great girl. But . . . maybe you should play more hard to get. Boys like a challenge sometimes. Like, if they feel they have to work for something, they want it all the more.’
‘Do you think?’ She sniffed.
I nodded thinking, Nooooooo, actually. Sometimes you just want an easy time but I knew that no way was it going to happen here, not this afternoon. I couldn’t do it to her. I couldn’t take advantage of her just because I was feeling bad myself and needed distracting. I was as bad, if not worse, than all the boys she’d just listed.
I got up and fetched a beach towel from the back of the deck chair on the patio. ‘Here,’ I said as I covered her up. ‘Cover up. Seeing you like that is doing my head in as you really are a gorgeous girl, Shazza.’
She smiled sweetly up at me. You’re so nice, Mac.’
No, I’m not, I thought. Not nice at all. If she hadn’t started crying, who knows what might have happened.
I stayed with her for another hour, made her a cup of tea then soothed and stroked her like she was a little kid. In the end, she started smiling again but by then, I wanted to go. I didn’t want to get too involved with her. And too much had happened today.
When I was ready to go, Shazza gave me a big hug.
‘You’ve been such a sweetheart,’ she said, ‘and sorry I’ve been such a cry baby.’
‘No worries,’ I said. ‘And you take care of yourself in future.’
‘I will,’ she said. ‘So. Mates?’
‘Definitely,’ I replied.
‘HEY THERE, MAC, NEED A LIFT?’ said Mr Squires as he slowed his van down.
‘Oh, yeah. Thanks,’ I replied and climbed in. I’d been walking half an hour so a ride the rest of the way was great.
‘So what you been up to this afternoon? Bit out of your usual way, aren’t you?’ he asked as we drove along.
‘Oh, just visiting a friend,’ I said. I didn’t want to fill him in on the fact that she was a semi-naked bouncing babe type friend. He didn’t need details. ‘Where have you been?’
‘Breakdown on the motorway. Got called out just as I was sitting down to my lunch, but business is business.’
I liked Squidge’s dad and his mum. Cat told me that they were the most important people in the village when I moved down here and at first, I thought that they were like the mayor and his wife or something, but actually he’s the local mechanic and she’s the local hairdresser – in this place, that makes them very important. If you can’t get around, you’re done for and if you want to look halfway decent and not turn into a country bumpkin, you need Mrs Squires.
‘Any idea of where Squidge is?’ I asked. ‘I’ve been calling him all day but he’s not picked up.’
‘He’s taken himself off camping,’ said Mr Squires. ‘Up at Rame Head. I thought you were going along?’
‘I was. Got distracted.’
‘Ah,’ he said, then smiled. ‘Girl involved, by any chance?’
Several, I thought. What a day and now I have to go back and face the mad women of Anderton. I envied Squidge having parents like Mr and Mrs Squires. They seemed rock solid as a couple. Easygoing and Squidge always said that his dad was great to talk to in a crisis, because he never judged or told anyone how to behave. He just listened. Unlike my parents. Mum with her endless lists of things to do and Dad so involved in his own life and problems, I can’t even approach him. I felt sad it was like that. I wished I had a dad I could turn to at times like this.
‘Hey, Mr Squires,’ I said as we approached the turn off to Anderton ten minutes later. ‘Can I talk to you?’
‘Talk to me? Sure. Shoot.’
‘Girls,’ I said. ‘Women. Is there a secret? I sure as hell don’t understand them.’
Mr Squires laughed. ‘Me neither. One of life’s great mysteries is the female race. So what’s been going on?’
‘How long have you got?’
‘Long as it takes, son,’ he said, smiling.
And so I told him the whole story, right from the point where Becca dumped me up until Shazza sobbing her heart out this afternoon.
Mr Squires drew up in front of our house and seemed in no hurry to get rid of me. He listened patiently then he let out a long whistle. ‘Sounds like you’ve got yourself into a bit of a mess, lad. I remember back to when I was a teenager and it doesn’t sound like it’s got any easier.’
‘So what do I do?’
‘I reckon that the trick is to keep it clean, all the way down the line. That’s my first bit of advice about women: te
ll the truth.’
‘I’ve tried to. Well, sort of, anyway. It’s hard with Roz as she only sees and hears what she wants to. Emily wouldn’t listen at all. And Becca had already made her mind up what I was feeling before I had a chance to tell her.’ I glanced up at the house. ‘And then there’s that lot in there. Gran, Mum and Jade. They all tell me what to do as well.’
Mr Squires laughed. ‘A house full of women. You have my sympathy.’
‘And they all get so emotional about everything. Some weeks it’s awful in there. Talk about mood swings. Sometimes I feel like running away.’
‘No need for that. You just have to learn to stand your ground. Let them know that you’re in there too and you have a mind of your own.’
‘That’s the hard bit. I find it really difficult. I hate confrontation and I hate scenes and overreactions. Like I know they’ll all be in there, waiting to hear what happened with Emily so that they can all offer advice. Sometimes I find it easiest just to button up and let them get on with it.’
‘Yes, but you don’t want to get walked over. It’s like when I said tell the truth, sometimes you have to start with yourself. Never mind your gran or your mum or Jade or Becca or Roz or Shazza or whatever was her name?’
‘Emily.’
‘Emily. Thing is, what’s your truth? What does Mac want?’
‘I’d like to live with my dad for my A-level years. You know, go back up to London but Mum will hit the roof and anyway there’s not much chance of it happening. Dad has his own female household to contend with – his new girlfriend and her daughter. And I’d like to be with Emily. No doubt about that. She’s the One. Or was until I blew it.’
‘OK. Start with her, then. This is my second bit of advice. Don’t give up. If you really like this girl, don’t give up on her. If she won’t speak to you, write her a letter. And tell her the truth.’
I felt myself squirming inside. ‘She’s going to think I’m such a coward . . . All that stuff about asking Becca to say we were still an item . . .’
‘If that’s the truth, tell it. You’re dead right, women are hard to understand all right but one thing I’ve learned is that they don’t always want perfect. Sometimes when you show your more vulnerable side, they accept it. Admit you’ve made mistakes. Blew it. Got it all wrong. So put your cards on the table. They don’t always expect us to have all the answers. Tell this Emily what you’ve just told me and let her decide.’
Double Dare Page 9
