‘You think?’
‘Definitely. What have you got to lose?’
That’s true, I thought. I’ve got nothing to lose. I felt better. Clearer. I was going to say how I felt. Tell it like it was. Stop trying to please everyone all the time.
‘Thanks, Mr Squires,’ I said as I got out of the van.
‘Anytime, Mac,’ he said.
As soon as I got upstairs into my room, I called Emily again. Her phone was still on voicemail and I didn’t want to e-mail as it felt too impersonal for what I had to say, so I sat down at my desk and wrote her a long letter explaining everything, about Roz, about Becca and about how I felt about her.
Next I called Becca.
‘Hey,’ I said.
‘Hey yourself,’ she said.
She didn’t sound too mad with me any more so I took a deep breath and continued. ‘I’m sorry about before,’ I said. ‘You weren’t to know that Emily wasn’t Roz. So . . . sorry I went off at you.’
‘It’s OK, Mac,’ she said. ‘I phoned Cat to have a moan about you and she’d been speaking to Lia who knew all about Emily. So now I’m in the picture. Love of your life.’ Then she giggled. ‘Sorry. But it was funny in a way, wasn’t it?’
She started laughing again and although I was slightly miffed at Squidge for telling Lia about Emily, I started to see the funny side too so laughed as well.
‘So what happened after I’d done my Oscar performance?’ she asked.
‘She went off back to London. Not speaking to me.’
‘Oh I am sorry, Mac. I thought you might have got it sorted with her.’
‘Nope. I’m well in her bad books now.’
‘Bummer. So you really like this girl, huh?’
‘I do.’
‘Well, if there’s anything I can do to make it right again, let me know – OK?’
‘Thanks. I will.’
‘And if you ever need me to help out when the real Roz is around, I’m still willing.’
‘Thanks, Bee, but I doubt if it will come to that. I won’t be seeing her again if I can help it. In fact, I’m just about to call her and tell her that there’s no chance anything is ever going to happen with us and not because I’ve already got a girlfriend. I’m going to tell her the truth.’
‘Good for you, Mac. Telling the truth always works best in the end. But with us, mates again?’
‘Mates,’ I said.
Two down, one to go, I thought when I’d put the phone. Mates with Bec, mates with Shazza. Next was Roz.
‘Hey, Roz,’ I said when she picked up.
‘Mac. How’s it going?’
‘Good. Listen . . . er . . . I wanted to talk to you to make a few things clear . . .’
‘Oh. OK.’
‘Well, what I told you about Becca. It’s not strictly true.’
‘Meaning?’
‘It’s over between us.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes. I wanted to tell you because, well this last few weeks, I’ve been a bit mixed up in my head but I want to be honest about everything in all my relationships from now on and . . .’
‘Oh Mac, I’m so glad you phoned but listen . . . I’ve got to go now. Mum’s calling me. Can we talk again tomorrow?’
‘Yeah. Sure.’
Excellent, I thought after I’d put the phone down. It was going really well. And it wasn’t so hard telling the truth. Mr Squires had been right. Clear the air. Tell the truth.
Next were the three witches downstairs. I’d heard them gossiping in the kitchen when I’d come in earlier and snuck upstairs before they summoned me in. But now I was just about ready for them. I threw a few things into my rucksack, took a deep breath and went downstairs.
‘Oh, Mac. What happened?’ asked Gran, as soon as I set foot in the kitchen. Three faces stared at me expectantly.
Tell the truth, I thought. ‘I messed up,’ I said. ‘Roz wasn’t getting the message that I didn’t want to get involved so to buy myself some breathing space, I told her that I still had a girlfriend, Becca. Then I asked Becca that if she ever met Roz, to pretend that we were still an item and she thought that Emily was Roz and did a number. Emily thought I’d been lying to her about it being over with Becca and took off back to London in a huff and won’t take my calls. So um . . . that brings you all up to date, I think.’
‘Oh, you poor dear,’ said Gran. ‘What are you going to do now?’
I gave her a huge grin and hoisted my rucksack onto my shoulder. ‘I know exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going camping!’
And with that, I left them all sitting at the kitchen table.
‘OH WHAT A BEEEOOOOOTIFUL MOOOOOORNING,’ I sang into Squidge’s ear as he lay snoring in his sleeping bag. ‘Come on, lazybones, it’s a glorious day outside.’
Squidge opened his eyes, yawned and stretched. ‘God, who invited you along?’ he asked as he sat up and ran his fingers through his hair making it stick up more than normal. ‘What time is it?’
‘Half nine. I slept like a log.’
‘Me too,’ said Squidge getting out of the sleeping bag and wriggling into his jeans then he stuck his head out of the tent opening. ‘How about we decamp later? Me need bacon buttie and mug of tea. How do you fancy Whitsand café?’
‘Excellent choice, my blurry-eyed chum,’ I replied. ‘Simple pleasures.’
We’d had a brilliant night once I’d found him. I’d had a feeling that he’d go to his favourite spot and sure enough, there he was with the tent already pitched and he was delighted that I’d come out to join him. Luckily, he’d brought plenty of supplies and we’d had a supper of baked beans and sausages cooked on a fire. Then we’d layed on our backs and watched the stars while we chatted, told jokes and generally caught up with each other. He couldn’t stop laughing when I told him about Shazza.
‘So much for the sympathy,’ I’d said.
‘I know, I know. I’m sorry but . . .’ And he’d started laughing again. ‘But man, just your luck. I can just see you there thinking that you’re going to get some action then . . . she turns on the waterworks. Sorry, sorry but it is funny.’
‘Becca started laughing about the mix-up with Emily. I don’t know. Some friends, I have. I’m living a nightmare and you guys all think it’s hilarious.’
‘Well, it is,’ Squidge had said. ‘They should write a sitcom about you and your love life. Be hysterical.’
‘Today was just one episode. I’m back on track now. And I’m going to take your dad’s advice. I’m not going to give up with Emily.’
When we’d gone to bed in the early hours of the morning, I’d slept better than I had in weeks. My head felt calm, my purpose was clear.
After a good breakfast fry-up at the café, we went down on to the beach below for a couple of hours where Squidge took some photos then we set off back for camp. Once back there, we dismantled the tent and began to pack up.
‘Blimey, it’s one o’clock already,’ said Squidge as he glanced at his watch. ‘I said I’d meet Lia. I’ll just give her a call.’
He moved off to the cliff edge and I lay back on the grass and gazed up at the sky. It had been a good time and I resolved to do it again in the near future. A female free zone, I thought – times like this should be compulsory for men everywhere.
‘How about I come back to yours to brush my teeth as it’s on the way?’ said Squidge when he’d finished his call. ‘Lia’s over at Becca’s so I’ll go on to her house after yours.’
‘Fine,’ I said and we set off along the coast road and down towards the villages.
The walk back took about forty-five minutes and as we got close to Anderton, I needed to take a pee. I climbed over a fence and went behind a couple of bushes where no one could see me from the road. When I got back, Squidge had a strange look on his face.
‘What?’ I asked.
‘Oh . . . nothing. Probably nothing. Just . . . a taxi just went past and . . . well, I think I saw someone who looked very like Roz in the back.�
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‘No chance. What would she be doing down here? Must have been someone who looks like her.’
It couldn’t be her, I told myself as a sinking feeling hit the pit of my stomach. She wouldn’t? Would she?
‘Maac! Surprise,’ said Roz as she burst out of the front door when we reached home. She rushed forward and gave me an enormous bear hug.
Behind her, I could see Squidge creasing up laughing, then he gave me the thumbs up. When she let me go, he walked close: ‘The Mac sitcom part two. I watch with respect and anticipation.’
‘Do not leave,’ I whispered. ‘Please.’
Mum was watching from the porch with an amused expression on her face and behind her was Gran who looked like she was having a hard time not laughing as well. Oh, sell tickets, why don’t you? I thought. Invite the whole village.
‘Good, Mac, there you are,’ said Mum. ‘I was just about to drive Roz up to find you. Isn’t this a lovely surprise?’
I nodded with a clenched jaw. ‘Just lovely,’ I said through gritted teeth.
‘Come on, everyone,’ said Mum. ‘I’ll put the kettle on and make us a nice cup of tea and Roz, you can tell me how your mum and dad are and all about London.’
‘Er, just a sec, Mum. Er . . . can I have a private moment with Roz first?’
Roz smiled coyly and slipped her hand into mine. Behind her, I thought Squidge was going to lose it altogether as he began to have a coughing fit.
‘Soooomething cough . . . cough . . . caught in my throat. Neeeeed glass of water,’ he spluttered and just about fell into the house.
I will kill him later, I thought as I watched him go in. Roz had her back to the open front door and through it I could see Squidge leaning against the wall, laughing, and worst of all, Gran was joining in.
‘Roz,’ I said as firmly as I could. ‘What on earth are you doing here?’
Roz put her arms round my neck. ‘It was after what you said on the phone yesterday,’ she said as she nuzzled into my neck.
‘What? What did I say?’
‘About it being over between you and Becca.’
‘Yes,’ I said as I took her arms, put them back down by her side and stepped away. ‘It is over between us but why would that make you come down here?’
She stepped close to me. ‘Oh, come on, Mac. I know why you told me that. You said you’d been mixed up but now you were clear . . .’
I was missing something, I thought as she nuzzled in again. I glanced up at the house. By now, Squidge and Gran were at the window staring out. Squidge did a kissy kissy face.
‘OK, Roz. I’ll tell you why I told you that . . .’
‘You don’t have to do that. I know,’ said Roz. ‘You’re so sweet, so shy . . .’
I gently pushed her off me again.
‘Maaac. Why are you being like this?’ she asked as she turned and caught Gran and Squidge who were still staring out the window. ‘Oh. It’s because we’re being watched.’
She grabbed my hand and began to lead me round to the back of the house. I had to do something fast.
‘No, Roz. You’ve got the wrong . . .’
As usual, Roz wasn’t listening and she leaned into me and began to snog me.
‘N . . . no . . .’ I said trying to wriggle away from her. ‘Roz . . . really . . . we have to talk . . .’
She put her hand up to my lips. ‘No, Mac. This isn’t the time for words . . .’ she said as she leaned in to kiss me again.
‘OH YES IT IS,’ said a stern voice behind us.
I turned to see my audience had grown. Becca, Cat and Lia were standing in the rose alcove. It was Becca who had spoken. She stepped forward and stood in front of Roz.
‘And you’re Roz, I presume?’
‘Yes,’ said Roz, squaring up to her.
‘Just checking,’ said Becca and gave me a conspiratorial look. She came and stood by me and took my hand. ‘Well, Roz, Mac is my boyfriend and I’d like to know what you think you were just doing?’
Roz flushed red. ‘And you are?’
I began to feel ill. ‘Oh sorry, er . . . introductions. Yes . . . Roz, this is Becca. And over there is Cat and you know Lia . . .’ I glanced at the side of the house and as expected, Squidge and Gran had moved to a window where they had a good view of the back garden. ‘And over there, as you know, are Squidge and my gran who no doubt will be joined by Mum and Jade at any moment.’
‘Oh. So you’re Becca,’ said Roz and put her hand in my other one. ‘Yes, Mac has told me all about you so you can let go of his hand. He told me that it’s over between you.’
Becca held onto my hand even tighter. ‘Oh he did, did he?’
‘Yes, yesterday.’
‘Ah,’ said Becca. ‘Well, we got back together last night. Didn’t we, Mac? So I’m Mac’s girlfriend.’
‘No,’ said a small voice from the alcove. We all turned. It was Cat who had spoken this time and she looked close to bursting out laughing. ‘No. I’m Mac’s girlfriend. After seeing you last night Becca, he came over to see me. Sorry, but it’s true. I’m Mac’s girlfriend.’
‘No,’ said Lia in a shocked voice. ‘After seeing you, Cat, he came to see me. I’m Mac’s girlfriend now. Go on – tell her, Mac. Tell her.’
Lia, Cat and Becca couldn’t keep it up any longer and creased up laughing.
Roz turned to look at me. She looked pale. ‘What the hell is going on, Mac? Tell them. Tell them.’
I looked at all the faces around me and wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. This was insane. Really insane. In the recesses of my mind, I heard Mr Squires’s voice. Tell the truth. Tell the truth.
‘None of them is my girlfriend,’ I said. ‘None of them.’
Some of the colour reappeared on Roz’s face along with a look of smugness.
‘I knew it,’ she said as she turned to Becca. ‘And I don’t know what kind of joke you think this is but I can assure you that it’s not funny. Look. I know it must be hard to hear but Mac and I have something really special and we go back a long way. Years, in fact. He called me yesterday to . . .’
‘Tell her, Mac,’ said Becca quietly.
Tell the truth, said the voice in my head. I didn’t want to humiliate Roz in front of everyone so I pulled her away further down into the garden. ‘Give us a moment,’ I said to Lia, Cat and Becca who had now stopped acting like some kind of mental Greek chorus. They turned and went into the house to join the rest of the audience.
‘Look, Roz, sorry about that,’ I said when we were alone.
She stuck out her bottom lip. ‘You should be . . . But I don’t blame her for trying. I mean, I wouldn’t give you up without a fight. I feel sorry for her. But I’m not going to let her ruin what we have.’
‘No,’ I said. ‘No, Roz.’
She looked puzzled. ‘What do you mean, “no”?’
‘I mean, no. We don’t have anything. At least not on my part. That’s what I was trying to tell you yesterday but you had to go before I got to it. Yes, it’s over between Becca and me but it was over before I even came up to London. I used her as an excuse to put you off. Only it didn’t. That’s what I was trying to tell you yesterday. It’s not going to happen with us, Roz. You’re great girl. You’ll meet someone else. Can we just be friends?’
‘Blah blah blah blah blah,’ said Roz as she pursed her lips and folded her arms in front of her.
I felt rotten. This is just what I hate, I thought as her eyes welled up with tears. I hate it when girls get upset.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said and tried to put my arm round her.
She shrugged me off. ‘You will be,’ she said. ‘And you can forget the cartooning gig with my dad. I’m going to tell him that you used me to get to him. Your cartoons weren’t any good anyway. Too safe and bland. Scared to say what you really feel, just like you. And you’ve blown your double dare so that’s a trillion years bad luck. Now phone me a taxi, I’m not staying here in this horrible place another minute.’
; Exit a very pissed-off Roz, twenty minutes later.
She wasn’t the only one who’d had enough. As soon as she’d gone, I went up to my room, locked the door and threw myself onto the bed. I felt like kicking something or someone. I punched a few cushions, got up and kicked my desk, almost broke my toe, then threw myself back down onto the bed again. First Emily, then the episode with Shazza and now Roz. No wonder everyone thought it was so funny. Everyone except for me that is. I didn’t think it was funny at all. Now Emily and Roz both hated me. I hadn’t even gone back to London but already I was going to have the reputation from hell and God knows what the taxi driver who picked them both up must think.
I checked my phone to see if by any miracle there was a message from Emily. But nothing – I should have known. Plus she wouldn’t have got my letter yet. Just four texts: one from Squidge, one from Becca, one from Lia and one from Cat, all saying sorry and to come over to where they were. Squidge had taken them off to Becca’s house just before Roz had left as he could tell just by looking at me that I was in a state. I didn’t feel like talking to them. Not for a long while.
I got up, found my pad and pencils and sat down at my desk. ‘So you think my cartoons are safe and bland, do you Roz? You and your stupid double dare. That trillion years bad luck started the day you first called me. Well, I’ll show you . . .’
In a fit of rage I began to draw.
First Roz. I drew her as a mean looking spider in the middle of a vast web caught in which was a fly that looked very like me.
Next was Emily. I drew her as a tiny frightened bird locked in a cage at a desk with a typewriter and reams of paper flying everywhere like feathers.
The floodgates had opened and I was away. I pulled out the photos of Alistair, Otis and Amanda and studied them closely.
Who cares? I thought as I began to caricature them. No one’s going to see these now, so what does it matter how they turn out.
Double Dare Page 10
