Witch Is When Life Got Complicated (A Witch P.I. Mystery Book 2)

by Adele Abbott

  “How do you mean?”

  “They all have the same haunted look in their eyes, and they hardly ever speak.”

  “Did he speak to you?”

  “Just small talk. He bought an ice cream—with a flake. It was the only one I sold all day. It wasn’t exactly the weather for it.”

  “Was anyone with him?”

  “No, he was by himself. It was pretty dead all day because of the weather. A few dog walkers—that was about it.”

  “Do you know who controls the CCTV in the car park?”

  “No one. Doesn’t work. Hasn’t done for almost three years.”

  The coastal path ran parallel to the cliff’s edge. There were no fences or barriers, so anyone with a mind to end it all could have done so quite easily. It was dry, so I walked along the red path until I could see the area that had been taped off by the police. A single police officer was on duty. I doubted I’d learn much from him. Before I turned back, I walked gingerly over to the cliff’s edge. It was a long way down, with rocks and shingle waiting at the bottom. You’d have to be pretty desperate to choose that particular exit route.

  What could possibly have happened after I’d left Harrison Scott to make him want to kill himself? I knew I could get up people’s noses, but sheesh, even I wasn’t that bad.

  It was too late to go back to the office, so I made my way home. I wanted to put in a couple of hours practising spells, so I would be ready for Grandma’s test. As I walked from my car, I spotted Mr Ivers talking to one of the other neighbours. Judging by her pained expression, he must have been trying to sign her up for his newsletter.

  “Kathy? Lizzie? What a nice surprise.”

  The two of them were waiting for me in my living room. Kathy and I had exchanged spare keys in case of an emergency.

  “Look Auntie Jill! We found them!” Lizzie said. She had beanies stacked high, either side of her on the sofa. “Mummy said you had lost the beanies, but we found them for you.”

  “Yeah,” Kathy said. “Look what we found.”

  “They were in your wardrobe, Auntie Jill.” Lizzie wiped her nose with her fingers and then picked up my favourite bear. “They were really easy to find.”

  “You stay in here and play with the beanies, Lizzie,” Kathy said. “Auntie Jill and Mummy are going to have a little chat in the kitchen.”

  Before I could object or run away, Kathy frogmarched me out of the room.

  “How could you lie like that?” She whisper-screamed at me.

  What was I meant to say? That I was a terrible person? A terrible aunt?

  “She’s getting snot all over my bear.”

  “That’s what you’re worried about? A little snot?” Kathy threw her hands in the air. “You are a little snot, Jill. No, strike that! You’re a gigantic, green, bogey. How could you lie like that? Who am I kidding? Of course you could. You lie to me all of the time—you always have. But to your niece? How could you?”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “How about ‘sorry, please forgive me’?”

  “I’m really sorry. Please forgive me.”

  “No. You’re not forgiven. Not by a long chalk.”

  “What do I have to do to make it right?”

  “Let Lizzie play with your beanies whenever she wants to.”

  “All of them?”

  “Every last one.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Well, I guess we’re done then. I’ll tell the kids they don’t have an auntie any more.”

  She made to leave, but I grabbed her arm. “Wait! Look, I simply couldn’t bear to watch her destroy them—”

  “She’s not going to destroy them. She just wants to play with them.”

  Same thing in my book. “I know, but I can’t bear to watch it. She can take them home. They’re hers to keep.”

  “All of them?”

  “All of them, but on one condition.”

  “What’s that?”

  “That you put them somewhere I’ll never see them again. I couldn’t bear to witness the devastation.”

  “Lizzie!” Kathy yelled. “Come here, please.”

  Lizzie came bounding into the kitchen, holding my favourite bear by its ear. “What is it, Mummy?”

  “Auntie Jill has something to tell you.”

  Lizzie turned to me. I crouched down so we were face to face.

  “How would you like to take all of my beanies home with you?”

  Her face lit up. “All of them?”

  Maybe I could snag a few of my favourites—I glanced at Kathy. Maybe not.

  “All of them,” I said.

  “For keeps?”

  I nodded.

  “When?”

  “Right now,” Kathy said. “Auntie Jill is going to help us to take them to the car, aren’t you Auntie Jill?”

  “Looks that way.”

  “Thanks, Auntie Jill!” Lizzie threw her arms around me and planted a huge kiss on my nose.

  “Why did you come over, anyway?” I asked, once the beanies were on the back seat of the car with Lizzie.

  “I’ve been trying to ring you all day.”

  I checked my phone. It was dead. I’d forgotten to charge it the night before.

  “You heard about Harrison Scott I assume?” Kathy said.

  I nodded. “It was only yesterday that I spoke to him.”

  “I can’t believe he did it.”

  “The police seem to believe it. He left a note confessing to the murder.”

  “It doesn’t make any sense.”

  “How’s Milly?”

  “Relieved to be off the hook, but still very upset about everything that’s happened.”

  I waved goodbye to Kathy, Lizzie and my beloved beanies. It was the end of an era. The end of my childhood.

  Chapter 10

  I was about to call it a night when I spotted a tentacle peeping out from under the sofa. I grabbed the beanie and clutched it tight to my chest. My very first and still my favourite beanie—the squid. Lizzie must have dropped it when she was playing with them. I could call by Kathy’s on the way into the office the next day to give it to Lizzie. Or—I could hold on to what was left of my precious collection. Kathy need never know.

  I thought about putting it on the shelf in the walk-in wardrobe, but if Kathy saw it, she’d claim it for Lizzie. Unless—. I cast the ‘hide’ spell and the squid disappeared. I was about to walk out of the wardrobe when I realised I could see the squid’s reflection in the mirror. The ‘hide’ spell worked in a different way from the ‘invisible’ spell. When an object was hidden by the ‘hide’ spell, its reflection could still be seen in a mirror. I couldn’t risk Kathy seeing it.

  “Sorry, little fellow.” I reversed the spell, lifted him off the shelf, and put him in the overhead cupboard. I might not be able to have him on display, but at least I could bring him out whenever I felt the urge for a little squid-love.

  The next morning, Jack Maxwell’s picture adorned the front page of the Bugle. It would have been so much easier to hate the guy if he hadn’t had movie star looks. The accompanying article was predictable enough. Milly Brown had been released, Harrison Scott had committed suicide. No one else was being sought for the murder of Bruce Digby. How very neat and tidy.

  “Jill!” Christine Best, one of the few neighbours I had any time for, shouted to me as I was on my way to the car. “Has Ivers collared you?”

  “About the newsletter?”

  “Yeah.”

  “He’s tried.”

  “I couldn’t get away.” She sighed.

  “Don’t tell me you signed up?” I laughed.

  “What choice did I have? I’d still be with him now if I hadn’t. How did you manage to get away with it?”

  “I cast a spell on him and sent him to sleep.”

  “What? Oh, right.” She laughed. “I never thought of doing that.”

  The last time I’d seen Mrs V, she’d been dancing around the office as happy as a lark. What a
difference a day made.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Her head was buried in her hands.

  “Look!” She pointed to the filing cabinet.

  “What?”

  “It’s gone!”

  “The trophy? Where is it?”

  “If I knew that, it wouldn’t be gone, would it?”

  I checked the outer door; there was no sign of damage. “How did they get in? Did you lock the door on your way out yesterday?”

  “Of course I did! It was still locked when I got here this morning. It must have been a cat burglar.”

  “I doubt it. More likely a common thief.”

  “I’m telling you it was a cat burglar. They stole Blinky too.”

  “What?” Who in their right mind would want a one-eyed cat? Present company excepted.

  “What am I going to tell the committee? That cup has been in the competition for decades. I’ll never live it down.”

  “Take a deep breath. It’ll be okay.”

  “How?”

  “Have you forgotten what I do?”

  “Collect one-eyed cats?”

  “Apart from that. I’m a P.I. If anyone can find your trophy, I can.”

  Mrs V buried her head in her hands again. Another resounding vote of confidence.

  “Who cares?” Winky rolled onto his back, and then back onto his stomach.

  “I care. Mrs V cares.”

  “About a stupid trophy and a psycho cat? Good riddance if you ask me.”

  “I didn’t ask you. You must have heard something in the night.”

  “Nah. I was asleep. I had this fantastic dream about this hot little Persian. She was—”

  “Enough! I don’t want the sordid details.”

  I spent the next hour re-reading everything I had on the Digby case. It amounted to a big fat nothing. Harrison Scott had confessed, and Milly Brown was off the hook, so why couldn’t I simply let it be?

  “Do you think I should call that nice Detective Maxwell?” Mrs V had popped her head around my door.

  “Why would you call that clown?”

  “To report a serious crime.”

  “Do you honestly think that Maxwell will be interested in some stupid trophy and a one-eyed cat?”

  Oh no! What had I just said? This was all Winky’s fault.

  “Stupid trophy?”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean that. I’m really sorry. It isn’t stupid. It’s very handsome, and prestigious, and top of my to-do list.”

  I knew people, who knew people, who knew other people you probably wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley. I made a few phone calls, and put the word out about the trophy. If someone tried to fence it, in or around the Washbridge area, I was confident that I’d hear about it. All I could do now was wait and be patient. Unfortunately, Mrs V didn’t do patient.

  When Grandma had said I had to pass her tests or else, she’d been kidding—hadn’t she? This was worse than school, and I’d hated that with a passion. I’d never been good at exams, and it wasn’t because I hadn’t revised. Well okay, that might have had something to do with it. I shouldn’t have been expected to revise and keep my catalogue of beanies up to-date. I always used to freeze— exams terrified me.

  I had to be at Grandma’s at ten o’clock on the dot, so I didn’t have much time to spare.

  “Aunt Lucy?” I called through the open door. I’d noticed that it was common for people in Candlefield to leave their front doors unlocked and even ajar.

  “Jill? Is that you? Come on in.”

  We hugged. “You’ve caught me in the middle of cleaning.”

  “I’m sorry. I’ll leave you to it.”

  “Don’t be daft. Any excuse for a break is fine by me. It’s your first test today isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, I’m terrified.”

  “Don’t worry. Grandma’s bark is worse than her bite.”

  “Really?”

  “No, not really.” Aunt Lucy laughed. “But, you’ll be fine. Your mother may be a hussy, but she was a fantastic witch. Second only to Grandma, I’d say. You’ve inherited her abilities.”

  “I wish that was true.”

  “Just you wait and see.”

  “Are the twins at Cuppy C?”

  “Don’t talk to me about those girls.” Her face was like thunder. What had they done this time? Had Aunt Lucy found out about Amber’s engagement? I waited for more but she didn’t elaborate.

  A cup of tea did nothing to calm my nerves.

  “Barry misses you,” Aunt Lucy said.

  “I’ll try to make it up to him while I’m here.”

  “It’s a pity you can’t take him to Washbridge.”

  “The lease on the flat doesn’t allow pets.”

  Amber walked in.

  “Your hair!” I said.

  “Now you see why I’m angry,” Aunt Lucy said.

  “I like it,” I said to Amber. Blonde suited her.

  “I was fed up of everyone getting me and Pearl mixed up,” Amber said.

  “That’s a good idea.”

  “Not as it turned out.” Amber frowned.

  Pearl walked in.

  “Oh?” I had to stifle a laugh. “I see what you mean. Blonde suits you too, Pearl.”

  “See, Jill.” Aunt Lucy stepped forward so she was standing in-between her daughters. “This is what I have to put up with.”

  “I had mine done first,” Amber insisted.

  “How was I meant to know you’d had it done?” Pearl said.

  “Let me get this straight.” I couldn’t help a snigger. “You both decided to change the colour of your hair so people could tell you apart, and you both ended up with the same colour?”

  The twins nodded. Aunt Lucy sighed. I laughed.

  “Who’s looking after Cuppy C?” I asked.

  “We’ve only popped out for a short break. It’s pretty quiet today so the new staff can cope.”

  The twins grabbed a custard cream each and settled down on the sofa. A cup of tea might have failed to take my mind off the test, but seeing the twins’ hair had done the trick. At least it had until I realised that it was only a minute until the test.

  “It’s TEST time!” Pearl said.

  “Grandma’s tests are really tough.” Amber looked at her sister and they both laughed.

  “Thanks, you two. That really helps.”

  “You’ll be okay,” Pearl said. “Provided you don’t get anything wrong.”

  They laughed even harder.

  “Stop it girls!” Aunt Lucy said. “Don’t be so unkind to your cousin,”

  “We’re only kidding,” Amber said. “Grandma’s tests are really simple. There’s nothing to them.”

  “I’m pleased to hear you say that.” As usual, Grandma had appeared from nowhere. “Because you two are going to be taking the test too.”

  The twins’ faces were a picture—a mixture of horror and disbelief.

  “But Grandma, we finished our studies years ago.”

  “Call this a refresher then.”

  “Grandma, please! We have to get back to the shop.”

  “I’ll see all three of you at my house in two minutes. Don’t be late.”

  The twins looked at me. Now it was my turn to laugh. “That’s what you call Karma.”

  Grandma was a tough taskmaster. The test included a mix of practical and written exercises. She focussed mainly on the spells she’d worked through with me: ‘hide’, ‘sleep’ and ‘rain’, but also included a few questions and tests on spells I’d already taught myself. Having the twins there helped keep me calm. When I saw they were struggling too, I didn’t feel quite so bad. The whole thing took just under an hour.

  “Right, that’s it!” Grandma announced.

  “Can we go?” Pearl stood up.

  “We have to get back to the shop.” Amber joined her.

  “Sit down!”

  They did as they were told.

  “I’m sure you all want to know the results of the test.”


  No-one spoke.

  “Top marks go to—” She paused for effect. “Jill!”

  “Yes!” I yelled, but then put my hand over my mouth. “Sorry.”

  “In second place.”

  The twins exchanged terrified glances. Neither of them wanted to finish in last place.

  “Or should I say, in joint last place,” Grandma continued. “The twins.”

  “Well done, Jill,” Grandma said.

  “Thank you.”

  “No room for complacency though. I expect you to maintain that standard.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  “And as for you two—”

  “We really should get back—,” Amber began.

  Grandma gave her a look. “And as for you two. There will be consequences.”

  That didn’t sound good.

  “From now on, you’ll both take every test that Jill sits.”

  “But Grandma,” Pearl protested. “We learned this stuff years ago.”

  “And apparently forgot it just as quickly. You should be ashamed of yourselves for allowing a novice witch to outscore you in every department.”

  I was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Although I was delighted with my test results, I hadn’t wanted to drop the twins in it.

  “Sorry, Grandma,” Pearl said.

  “Sorry,” Amber echoed.

  Outside, it was my turn to apologise. “I’m really sorry girls. I didn’t mean for any of that to happen.”

  “It’s okay.” Amber gave me a hug. “It isn’t your fault.”

  Pearl joined in the group hug. “It’s our own fault, Jill. You did really well.”

  “Does that mean I’m a fully fledged witch now?” I grinned.

  “Not by a long chalk, young lady!” Grandma appeared and then disappeared just as quickly.

  “We’d better get back,” Pearl said.

  “I can give you a hand if you like?” I offered.

  “Don’t you have to get back to Washbridge?”

  “No. I’m going to stay for a while. Besides, it’s the least I can do after this morning.”

  Chapter 11