Witch Is When Life Got Complicated (A Witch P.I. Mystery Book 2)

by Adele Abbott

  I’d made it to the third cubicle—I was half way to the exit. Just then, two young women came charging into the changing rooms and, just my luck, chose the cubicle where I was standing. A handbag hit the ground next to me with such force that the backdraft knocked me off my feet. I slid across the floor on my backside. That hurt!

  Phew! I’d made it past the last of the cubicles. The surly, changing room girl was staring at her phone. Behind her, slung over a chair, were my clothes. Could I cast a spell while I was this size? The only way to find out was to try. The ‘invisible’ spell did the trick. I was now standing next to the chair, immediately behind surly girl. I had to somehow distract her before the 'invisible' spell wore off.

  “Miss? Miss?” The voice came from the changing rooms. It was one of the giddy girls who had almost flattened me with her handbag. Surly girl groaned, but then set off towards their cubicle.

  It was now or never. I reversed the ‘shrink’ spell, grabbed my clothes and slipped into the nearest cubicle. I’ve never dressed so quickly. As I rushed out, I caught a glimpse of surly girl, staring at me—her face was a picture.

  The address turned out to be a small terraced house in the back-end of nowhere. I checked my watch—I was dead on time. After the escapade with the zip, I’d gone to a different shop where I’d bought a cheap hat and sunglasses. Even my own sister wouldn’t have recognised me in those.

  He answered on the first knock.

  “I’ve come about Henry,” I said in my Danish-Welsh accent.

  “Are you Russian?”

  “No.”

  “You sound Russian. Never mind. Come in.” The man beckoned me inside.

  “I’ve missed Henry so much,” I was giving my performance everything. “Where did you find him?”

  “He was wandering the streets, poor little lad.”

  “Thank you for taking him in.”

  “Think nothing of it. Follow me, he’s through here.”

  The man led the way into a sparsely furnished room at the back of the house. ‘Henry’ bounded forward to greet me on cue.

  “Henry! Where have you been?”

  The dog was bouncing around, his tail wagging frantically.

  “Or should I call you Blinky?” I said, as I removed my hat and glasses.

  The man stared at me. The dog stopped bouncing around; its tail was no longer wagging.

  “I have to say. You make a better dog than you did a cat.”

  Henry transformed into a man right in front of my eyes. He quickly grabbed a table cloth and wrapped it around himself.

  “Quite a scam you have going on here,” I said.

  “We have to get rid of her,” Henry said to his sidekick.

  The door exploded in a million splinters. The two men barely had time to turn their heads before the chain-link netting engulfed them. Moments later they’d disappeared.

  Daze picked up the empty net, which shrank in size as she pushed it into one of the pockets in her belt. She looked so much better in the catsuit than she had in the fast food uniform.

  “What happened to them?” I asked.

  “They’re in a holding cell in Candlefield awaiting charges.”

  “That’s a neat piece of kit.”

  “The net? Yeah, I had it specially designed. I used to have to transport the Rogues back in person. It was such a waste of time and resources. This way I just have to get them into the net and then BINGO.”

  “What happens now?”

  “I go back to Candlefield and process those two low-lifes. Do you want to come?”

  “Sure, I’ll have to get my car.”

  “No need. Grab my hand.”

  “I did as she said. “How does this—?”

  “—work?” We were standing next to a cell. Behind the bars were Henry and his sidekick. Neither of them looked happy.

  “There’s been a misunderstanding,” Henry protested.

  “You’ll get your day in court.” Daze gestured for me to follow her.

  In the office, she completed all of the necessary paperwork. Henry and his sidekick had been running the same scam for some considerable time. It worked something like this: The sidekick would look out for posters of missing animals—usually a cat or a dog. Henry, who was a shifter, would transform into the animal based upon the picture on the poster. It was rarely a perfect match, but usually good enough to fool the distraught owner. There had been one or two spectacular failures like the dog which should not have had a docked tail, and of course my wrong-eyed cat. Once Henry was inside the house he’d transform into a man, help himself to all the money and valuables, and then make his getaway. When I’d taken him (Blinky) in, he must have been disappointed to realise that he wasn’t going back to a house, but to my office. He’d hung around in the hope that, if he was smarmy enough, Mrs V or I would take pity on him and take him home. When we didn’t, he cut his losses and stole the only thing of value—the trophy.

  “What’s she doing in here?” Maxine Jewell said.

  Daze stood up—she towered over the inspector. “She’s with me.”

  “She has no right to be in here, Daze. You know that.”

  “She caught the two Rogues in cell three.”

  “Makes no difference. She needs to get out of here right now.”

  Daze looked as though she wanted to squash Maxine.

  “It’s okay.” I stepped between them. “I’ll leave.”

  “Wait for me outside,” Daze said. “I’ll take you back to Washbridge when I get out.”

  “It’s okay. I’ll go and see the twins while I’m here.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. Thanks for your help today. See you around.”

  “If it isn’t our very own Miss Level Five,” Amber said when I walked into the tea room. “I didn’t know you were going to give us a hand today.”

  “I’m not. I’m here strictly as a customer.”

  “In that case, what can I get you?”

  “Tea and a strawberry cupcake would go down nicely.” No wonder the zip had got stuck.

  “You’re the talk of the town,” Amber said when she joined me at the window table. “No one can remember a level one witch performing a level five spell. Watch out for autograph hunters.”

  “Where’s Pearl?”

  “Don’t mention her name to me.” Amber scowled.

  “You two haven’t fallen out again, have you?”

  “I no longer have a sister. I have officially disowned her.”

  “That’s not going to be easy, seeing as you live and work with one another. What has she done to upset you this time?”

  “Upset?” Amber pointed at her face. “This face is more than just upset wouldn’t you say? This face is livid!”

  “What happened?”

  “She’s only gone and got engaged.”

  “To Alan?”

  “I suppose so. Who knows with her?”

  So bitchy! I almost laughed, but caught myself. Clearly this was not a laughing matter.

  “Come on, Amber. Why is that so terrible?”

  “She has the same ring as me.”

  “You mean similar?”

  “I mean identical.”

  “Oh dear. Did she say why she’d chosen the same one?”

  “I’ve already explained a thousand times.” Pearl appeared at my side.

  “Tell her I’m not speaking to her,” Amber said.

  Boy was I glad I’d decided to drop by.

  “Tell her to stop being a silly cow,” Pearl shot back.

  I used to think that Kathy and I had a tempestuous relationship, but compared to these two, we were bosom buddies.

  “Can I see?” I gestured to Pearl’s ring.

  It was beautiful, and very familiar. Amber was right—the two rings were more or less identical.

  “See?” Amber said.

  “They are similar,” I said, as diplomatically as I could.

  “It’s okay, Jill I know they’re identical.” Pearl t
ook back her hand. “But it isn’t my fault.”

  “Whose fault is it then?” Amber’s cheeks were red with rage. “You’re the one wearing the ring!”

  “How did it happen?” I asked.

  Pearl took a deep breath. “Before the Candlefield Cup incident, William and Alan got along really well. They knew one another long before they met us. Anyhow, you know how stupid men can be.”

  Didn’t I just.

  “The two of them had decided to propose to us, and thought it would be a good idea to buy identical rings because we’re identical twins. I had no idea they’d done it, until Alan gave me the ring, and then I didn’t have the heart to say anything to him.”

  “It doesn’t sound like it was Pearl’s fault,” I said to Amber.

  “It certainly wasn’t mine.”

  “You know what?” I took hold of their hands. “Men are just plain stupid.”

  “Hear, hear,” agreed Pearl.

  Even Amber had to crack a smile. “How would they manage without us?”

  Crisis averted—for now at least. If I ever got tired of being a P.I., I should do just fine in the mediation service.

  “Are you both going to tell Aunt Lucy that you’re engaged now?”

  “We already have,” Amber said.

  “What did she say?”

  “She took it really well.” Pearl looked relieved.

  “So you were both worrying about nothing?”

  “Looks that way, but I think we have Lester to thank. Now Mum’s all loved up, she’s not so uptight about us.”

  Chapter 22

  If I had to list my top ten dislikes, karaoke would be right up there alongside Eccles cakes, ponchos and clowns. There were only so many times I could bear to hear the same old songs being crucified.

  “You have to come!” Pearl insisted. “It’s great isn’t it Amber?”

  “Yeah, we won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”

  I think I liked it better when they weren’t talking to one another. “I hate karaoke.”

  “There’ll be prizes.”

  “Champagne for the winner,” Amber bubbled.

  “You don’t want me there, playing gooseberry.”

  “Don’t be daft. The guys both love you.” Amber said. “Say you’ll come.”

  The karaoke competition was a regular monthly event which apparently the twins never missed. Their fiancés, Alan and William, were going to be there too. The rivalry between the two couples was every bit as fierce as you might imagine.

  “If I do go, I’m not going to sing.”

  “You have to. It’ll be fun.”

  Fun in the same way as having a root canal is fun. “I’ll only come if you agree I don’t have to get up and sing. Deal?”

  Amber and Pearl nodded, but I wasn’t sure that I trusted them.

  The twins insisted we clock off early, so they could take me clothes shopping for something to wear at the karaoke. Thankfully, this time I managed to avoid any zip-related incidents. I came back the proud owner of a beautiful, halter-neck blue dress. It wasn’t something I’d have chosen for myself, but the girls had insisted I try it on. It turned out they were right.

  “You can come with us,” Amber said, her arm through William’s. His car was a sporty blue number with alloy wheels.

  “She’s coming with us.” Pearl was hand in hand with Alan. He owned a sports car too—red with a soft top.

  Whichever one I chose, I was going to upset the other one.

  Just then, a black 4x4 pulled up across the road. The window slid down, and a familiar face smiled at me. “Need a lift?”

  “Looks like I have my own transport,” I told the twins, as I made my way across the road.

  “I heard you were in town,” Drake said. “Thought I’d pop over on the off-chance. Looks like I got here just in time.”

  “You might regret it when you know where we’re headed.”

  “That sounds ominous.”

  “Karaoke.”

  “I love karaoke.”

  “You do not.”

  “Honestly, it’s one of my favourite things.”

  “You’ve just gone way down in my estimation. And to think I had you down as classy.”

  “Follow us,” Amber called.

  “You heard the lady.” I climbed in next to Drake.

  The best thing about Club Destiny was the neon sign outside. The lights on some of the letters were out, so the sign now read ‘Club tiny’ which was actually quite appropriate because there was hardly enough room to swing Winky. The six of us shared a table which was so close to one of the speakers that I had to shout to make myself heard.

  “Just so you know, I’m not going to be singing,” I yelled at Drake.

  “Of course you are.” He flashed that killer smile of his. “You and I are going to do a duet. We’ll show this lot how it’s done.”

  “You haven’t heard me sing.”

  “You’ll be great.”

  After thirty minutes, I still hadn’t recognised a single song. On karaoke nights, you can normally guarantee that certain classics will make an appearance, but the sup world appeared to have its own music biosphere.

  Pearl and Alan were the first up from our table. He had a powerful voice and could carry a tune. Pearl—not so much. Amber and William were up next. Once again, the male half of the duo was let down by his partner. If the two guys had partnered with one another, they’d have won hands down.

  “Our turn.” Drake grabbed my hand, and dragged me onto the stage. As I didn’t recognise any of the songs on offer, I allowed him to choose. The song had a country and western feel about it—not my kind of thing at all, but it was too late to bale now. Thirty seconds into the song, he put his arm around my shoulder. It felt kind of nice, but I was sure he’d only done it by way of encouragement.

  When we’d finished, I was all set to duck out of the way of flying tomatoes, but to my surprise, we received a huge round of applause. Amber, Pearl and the boys were on their feet, clapping and whistling.

  “That was fantastic.” Amber gave me a hug.

  “You’ll win for sure,” Pearl said. “There can’t be many more to go.”

  “If we win,” Drake said, “the champagne is on us.”

  The MC took the stage, and announced that there was one more couple to perform. “Please welcome to the stage, the two Ls, Lucy and Lester.”

  From a table somewhere at the back of the room, Aunt Lucy and Lester made their way to the stage.

  “Mum?” Amber looked agog.

  “She never comes here,” Pearl said. “She said karaoke was stupid.”

  “Watch and learn,” Aunt Lucy said, as she walked by our table.

  Within a few bars, Drake and I had kissed goodbye to the champagne. The two Ls delivered a ballad which was pitch-perfect. When they’d finished, everyone in the room was on their feet.

  “I didn’t know Mum could sing,” Amber said.

  “Maybe she’ll share the champagne with us,” Pearl said.

  Aunt Lucy lifted the bottle, turned to our table, and shouted, “Sorry, girls. This is all for me and Lester.”

  “Charming!” Pearl exchanged a glance with her sister.

  “Selfish.” Amber pouted. “I preferred it when she stayed at home and did our laundry.”

  “I blame Lester,” Pearl said.

  Drake touched my arm. “Want to get out of here?”

  I nodded. “We’re going to shoot off,” I told the twins who were still moaning about their mother and her new man.

  On the way home, we picked up pizza from a takeaway, and parked on a hill overlooking the park.

  “Thank you for tonight,” I said, dropping crumbs down my new dress. “I enjoyed it.”

  “Me too. It’s a pity we didn’t win the champagne though.”

  Every time Drake smiled, I imagined what it might be like to kiss those gorgeous lips. I wondered again if tonight qualified as a date.

  “Champagne is overrated,” I said. “
Ginger beer all the way.” We clinked our cans together.

  “I’ve been hearing rumours about you,” he said, suddenly serious.

  “What kind of rumours?”

  “Let’s just say they relate to a donkey and a frog.”

  “It was a toad.”

  “A toad?” He laughed. “Sorry, I stand corrected.”

  “How did you hear about that?”

  “I don’t think you realise what a big deal it is. Every class of sup has its own hierarchy. It’s rare for any sup to rise through the ranks other than one level at a time.”

  “I’m still on level one.”

  “From what I hear, the spell you cast was several levels above that.”

  “I messed it up.”

  “People will be watching you, Jill. And not just the witches and wizards. You’ll be under the spotlight.”

  Great—just what I needed.

  After we’d finished eating, Drake drove me back to the twins’ place.

  “Thank you for a lovely evening,” I said as I made to get out of the car. Would he kiss me?

  “Thank you. I’ve had fun. I’m still planning on coming over to the human world soon. We’ll have dinner.” That killer smile again. Those gorgeous lips. But no kiss.

  “I’d like that. Preferably somewhere with no karaoke.” I waved as he drove away. Maybe it hadn’t been an actual ‘date’ after all.

  Barry almost knocked me off my feet as I walked through the door.

  “Jill! Where have you been? Let’s go for a walk.”

  “It’s late.”

  “Please, oh please.”

  “Okay then, but just around the block.”

  “Yay! Come on then, let’s go. I love to walk.”

  Barry was pulling on the lead, but I daren’t let him off for fear I’d spend the rest of the night chasing after him. As we walked, my thoughts went to Drake. I was so confused. He seemed keen to be with me, and yet he showed no sign of wanting to take it any further. Perhaps things moved more slowly in the sup world. And, maybe that was no bad thing—my so-called love life had been a complete train wreck in the human world.