A Penny for Your Thoughts

by Bess McBride

  Her door flew open again, and she emerged from her apartment, striding briskly toward the stairwell. Taken by surprise, he froze for a moment, his mind a blank.

  “Oh, shoot! Lock the door, Penny!”

  Her voice galvanized him into action, and he flung himself down the stairs, taking them two at a time. A quick check over his shoulder revealed she’d turned back to lock the door. No time to get across the street. He ran around the corner and threw himself up against the concrete wall underneath the dark stairwell, muting his breathing by dragging air in and out through his nostrils.

  He heard the clattering of her footsteps on the stairs and watched her jump into her car once again. Where was she going this time, he wondered? And why hadn’t he just snatched her when she reached the stairwell?

  He rotated his head to listen. Too quiet. She would probably have gotten a scream out before he could silence her.

  She backed up and pulled out of the garage. He pushed off from his hiding spot and sprinted back across the street. Jumping back into his car, he made a hasty U-turn to follow her back toward town.

  ****

  Penny hated going back out into the darkening night, but she’d run out of detergent, and she needed to run a load of laundry or she was going to be wearing dirty clothes tomorrow.

  She took her time getting down the road. What did it matter? The evening stretched before her, laundry the most exciting part of her schedule. She bitterly regretted walking out on Matt’s invitation to dinner, but she couldn’t undo it now. An imagined phone call where she said, “Oh, Matt, I’ve changed my mind,” brought a wry smile to her face. She was going to have to grow up sometime and live with her decisions. No time like the present.

  She pulled into the grocery store parking lot and walked inside, blinking at the bright florescent lights overhead. A woman’s voice droned an announcement from the public address system, while a myriad of people pushed baskets overflowing with food and screaming toddlers.

  Penny welcomed the noisy companionship of her fellow shoppers and found herself stalling her return to the quiet apartment, aimlessly wandering up and down aisles, stopping occasionally to touch pillows or run her hands through masses of silk flowers.

  She finally made her way over to the household products aisle and grabbed her favorite detergent.

  “Laundry night, huh?”

  Penny swung around to see Kevin standing behind her. He looked relaxed in a dark t-shirt and khaki shorts, his hands thrust into oversized pockets.

  “Kevin! You startled me.” She remembered with a start he had asked her out to dinner--a phone call this morning that caused quite a stir, though it was hardly his fault.

  “I’m sorry.” He grinned. “I just stopped by to pick up some eggs. My grandmother wants to make breakfast.”

  “Oh, that sounds wonderful. Grandmother’s cooking.” Penny sighed. “My mom is a great cook. I miss meals at her house.”

  Kevin’s smile wavered, and he dropped his eyes to his feet before raising them to her face. “Speaking of which, I hope I didn’t embarrass you by asking you out to dinner. You seemed upset on the phone this morning.”

  “I’m sorry about that. I just couldn’t.” She shrugged her shoulders helplessly, more so because she really had no good answer to give him.

  He nodded with a regretful smile. “I understand. That’s okay.”

  The weight of the detergent began to pull on Penny’s shoulder, and she switched hands.

  “Well, I guess I’d better get going. This thing is getting heavy.” She gave him a sheepish grin.

  “Yeah, me, too. Grandma is waiting for the milk...and the eggs.”

  Penny gave him a short wave and turned away

  “Hey, Penny.” She turned back. Kevin moved toward her with a hesitant smile. “Call me a diehard, but I’ll give it one more shot. I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Mardi Gras parade with me tomorrow night. My grandparents don’t go because of the crowds, and I don’t think it’ll be much fun on my own.”

  Visions of standing alone at a Mardi Gras parade, with no one to share the fun, flashed before her eyes. The offer was tempting. But Matt’s disappointment in her this morning still stung.

  “I plan to go, Kevin, but I’m going to be on my own. I’m sorry.”

  His face fell, and a pang of guilt surged through her.

  “Oh, well, that’s okay. I’m a big boy. I’m not afraid of the dark!” He touched her arm lightly and smiled with regret. “Take care. Maybe I’ll see you on the beach soon.”

  “That would be nice,” Penny murmured. She moved away quickly this time, perhaps hoping to run from her guilt. Though he had smiled at her, something in his blue eyes caught her attention. A darkening. She had hurt his feelings. She was sure of it.

  She paid for the detergent and walked out of the store into the parking lot. A heated conversation nearby caught her attention and she turned to look.

  One of the yellowed overhead parking lot lights showed a blonde woman gesticulating wildly as she talked to a man who stood with his hands shoved in his jeans pockets.

  His mulish stance was unmistakable.

  Matt!

  Penny froze. Matt and the blonde stood beside a white convertible with a black top. Matt shook his head, the gesture serving to increase the strident note in the woman’s voice. She grabbed Matt’s arm in a gesture that suggested intimacy. A shake of her short sassy blonde hair and a glint of gold hoop earrings reminded Penny where she had seen the woman before...on the road just the other day. The beautiful blonde who had it all--looks, money, a great car...and apparently Matt.

  Of all the joints to walk into, she thought hysterically, you gotta walk into mine. With her heart pounding in her throat and bitter tears blinding her, Penny maneuvered out of sight behind a far row of cars where she was able to scoot back to her car undetected. From her parking space, she could no longer see Matt...or the woman. She dropped her head on the steering wheel and broke into tears.

  How stupid of her to think that she and Matt could ever rekindle their love. Of course, he hadn’t been simply sitting around twiddling his thumbs while waiting for her to show up on his doorstep after all these years.

  Penny shook her head. She’d been right! She really couldn’t compete with that woman. She would return to Michigan soon, and Matt would not ask her to stay. Penny hiccupped and sobbed harder.

  A knock on the car window startled her.

  “Miss, are you all right?” A tiny, silver-haired woman peered into the car. Penny wiped her face in humiliation and lowered her window.

  “Yes, I’m fine, thank you.” She hiccupped. “Affairs of the heart!” She gave the older woman a watery smile. “You know how it is!”

  The tiny woman nodded and smiled. “Oh, I certainly do, dear. I wouldn’t be your age again for anything in the world. Well, as long as you’re okay.” She hobbled a few feet over to her own large town car and got in with her shopping bags. Penny rolled up the window and started her engine, choking back any further tears.

  “Crying in public.” She mocked herself. “You big baby!”

  Still, the images of the blonde woman with her hands on Matt played over and over in her mind...like a demented broken video. How long had he been with her? They were intimate. Of that, Penny had no doubt.

  Then why had Matt kissed her this morning? For old times’ sake? Had he felt obligated in some way? He’d never been very good at saying no. Had he pitied her? Her obvious loneliness?

  Penny fought back another barrage of tears and bit her lip so hard it hurt. How humiliating. She must have made a fool of herself. Her stomached tensed. Had he been with the blonde when she called him in the night? Had he left a warm and inviting bed to come to her aid?

  She held her breath at the image. Then, against her will, the corner of her mouth started to pull toward her cheek. Had she really gotten him out of bed to come to her aid? A gurgle of laughter rose in her throat. Well, good!

  Penny pulled into t
he garage of her condominium building, wondering how she had gotten there. She parked and wandered upstairs, dragging her bottle of detergent as if it weighed fifty pounds. Once in her apartment, she dropped the detergent on the kitchen counter, any idea of doing laundry gone. Clean clothes were the farthest thing from her mind. Eyeing the boxed dinner she had set out to microwave with a grimace, she turned away and headed for her bedroom. The idea of falling asleep right away seemed inviting.

  Penny dropped onto the bed in the darkened room and lay there, her feet dangling off the end, too discouraged to kick off her shoes.

  The musical Calypso of her phone broke the stillness of the apartment. She jerked upright. Where was her phone? She jumped up and ran into the living room. Her purse. Where was her purse? She followed the lilting music to the kitchen where she’d left her phone lying next to the detergent.

  Who was calling? An involuntary shudder rippled through her.

  Was it the stalker? Her mother? Travis? Matt? She reached into her purse with a bitter shake of her head. Matt was busy. She was on her own.

  With a shaking hand, she checked the caller ID.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The caller ID read “Matthew Williams.” Matt!

  “Hello?”

  “Penny? Did I catch you at a bad time? You sound out of breath.”

  “What? Oh, no, I was just...exercising.” She steadied her breathing.

  “Oh!” A pause. “I wondered how you were doing. You left my office in a rush.”

  “Did I?” Penny murmured. She opened the door to the balcony and stepped out. The sound of the waves paled when compared to Matt’s beloved voice.

  Empowered by something she didn’t understand--perhaps love--she asked the question.

  “I saw you tonight...at the store...with a woman.”

  Silence. Then she heard a heavy sigh.

  “I was afraid of that. I saw the back of your car as you drove away.”

  “Oh.” Penny waited. Was that it?

  More silence. Penny pressed the phone hard to her ear. Wasn’t he going to say anything else?

  “Penny, it’s not what you think.”

  It was Penny’s turn to remain mute.

  “Penny?”

  “I’m here.”

  He cleared his throat. “We had a short thing over a year ago. That’s all. Very brief. It’s been over for a long time.”

  A thrill ran up Penny’s spine, and she could have sworn her heart actually did swell with joy.

  “Oh! It didn’t look over.” She couldn’t help herself.

  “Well, she was upset about something, a man she’s been seeing who won’t put up with her nonsense. Sees me as some sort of adviser about her new love life. It’s over. Even the friendly ear part.”

  Penny didn’t know what to say. Good?

  Matt gave a low laugh. “I know you heard me, Penny.”

  “Yes, yes, I heard you.” Was she supposed to say something? Certainly not what was on her mind. I love you, Matt!

  “I-I...”

  “Yes?” Matt prompted.

  “Nothing.”

  “Well, I just wanted you to know.”

  “Thank you, Matt.” I love you.

  “Penny?”

  “Yes?” Her heart hammered in her chest. Was he going to suggest coming over? To finish what had been interrupted this morning? She would deny him nothing.

  “I forgot to ask. Did the locksmith come today? The guy I called? Did he install the deadbolt?”

  Penny let out the breath she’d been holding. Still, her heart warmed at the concern in his voice.

  “Yes. The lock is on, and now I have two keys.”

  “Good! You can never have enough keys.” She heard the sound of jingling keys in the background and a chuckle from Matt. “Just ask me.”

  Keys... The tinkling sound triggered a memory. She drew her brows together. Jerry’s keys. Where were they? “Good night, Penny. Be sure and get out to the parade tomorrow night. You’ll love it.” The warmth of his voice curled her toes.

  “I will,” Penny said.

  Penny closed the phone and pressed it to her heart. She sat there a while longer listening to the sound of the waves though the new moon provided little light over the breakers.

  Did she have a chance? Did she want a chance? Yes, yes, yes, the sensible part of her brain screamed.

  Penny bounced out of her chair and went inside to take a shower. She climbed into bed with a smile on her face and turned out the light. Sleep came within minutes.

  ****

  He waited for fifteen minutes after her bedroom light went out and turned in from the beach to head for the garage. The switchblade in his pocket slapped against his leg as he walked, and he reached in to readjust it. Pulling out the key, he climbed up the stairs and made his way to her door, keeping a watchful eye over his shoulder.

  He eased the key in, turned the lock and pushed. The door didn’t budge. His eyes slid to the bright shiny deadbolt above the doorknob. A deadbolt! She’d had a new lock installed. Why? He staggered back for a moment, stunned, his plans thwarted. A honk from a car in the street startled him, and he flung away from the door with a tightened jaw. He couldn’t just stand out here and cry over a locked door.

  He strode back down the hallway to the stairs.

  Why had she installed the deadbolt? Did she know he’d been in her apartment? He wracked his brain to think of any signs he might have left.

  He reached his car and jumped in. So, she thought she could play with him, did she? Rage flamed through him, and he began to bang his hands on the steering wheel again and again, pounding harder and harder, wishing he could scream but having to settle for groundout words between teeth clenched so hard his jaw ached.

  “One little deadbolt isn’t going to stop me, Miss High and Mighty Penny. I’ll get you...one way or another. You haven’t seen the last of me. We’re only just beginning, you and I.” He stared at the front of her building.

  ****

  Penny awakened to the sound of the phone ringing...yet again. Matt? She reached for it in the dark.

  “Hello?”

  “Penny?” It wasn’t Matt. Penny pulled the phone away to look at the caller ID.

  “Unknown number.”

  She slammed the phone shut and tossed it away from her. Reaching for the lamp next to her bed, she gave it a twist, filling the bedroom with soft light.

  The phone rang again, and she put her hands over her ears and began to hum. She could just turn it off. She should just turn it off. But what if Matt called? The sound of Calypso music made her nauseous.

  The ringing stopped, and Penny grabbed the phone to turn it off. The sound of lilting island music startled her, and she stared at the caller ID again.

  “Unknown number.”

  She couldn’t take it anymore. Better to face her enemy.

  “What!” she shrieked into the phone. “What do you want?”

  “Penny?”

  “What is it? You can’t scare me with these ridiculous calls.”

  “Penny, it’s Cliff. Is everything all right? Did you get another call?”

  “Cliff?” It took a moment for his words to register. Relief overwhelmed her, and she began to shake with reaction. “Cliff! I was scared to death. Your call shows up as an unknown number. I’m sorry. I just knew it was...him.”

  “Oh, geez, Penny, I’m sorry. I don’t know why my phone would show up as an unknown number. I hadn’t heard that before.”

  Penny waited for the shaking to subside.

  “Penny?”

  “I’m here. I’m just breathing.”

  “Breathing, huh?” She thought she could see him smile over the phone.

  “Well, the reason I called was to let you know that we haven’t found anything on the phone calls yet. And then I go and scare you to death.”

  “That’s all right, Cliff. I appreciate that you’ve been looking into it.”

  “I talked to your boss, Tim, on the phone a
s well. I think he was a little more forthcoming when I talked to him, but he really doesn’t think anyone at your counseling center is involved.” Cliff paused. “I told him I knew about...about Jerry, but I didn’t tell him who I was.”

  Penny caught her breath. Tim already knew, but he wouldn’t have let Cliff know. “That must have been difficult, Cliff.”

  “Well, I didn’t want to muddy the waters by throwing my relationship with Jerry into the mix, so I left it out.” A pause. “I’m not sure that was ethical, but...”

  “I’m sure Tim would understand.” It seemed awkward to lie to him.

  “Yeah, well, at any rate...he said he’d talked to group members, and while everyone still misses Jerry,” Cliff cleared his throat, “none of them overreacted or gave Tim any reason to think they were holding a grudge against the center...or you.”

  Penny nodded with satisfaction.

  “I didn’t think it was anyone there.”

  Silence.

  “Cliff?”

  “Yeah, I’m here. I was thinking about earlier, Penny. You know...when I had my nervous breakdown on your shoulder?”

  “Oh, Cliff! Not a nervous breakdown... Just a lot of pent-up emotion.”

  “Yeah, well, it felt like a breakdown.” His snort held little mirth. “The thing is...I felt better after talking to you. I can see why Jerry went to see you.”

  “Cliff! What a nice thing to say! I’m glad.”

  “Yeah, well, I just wanted to tell you. Maybe I should start seeing someone...you know, just to talk.” He coughed. “So, listen, I heard that you got a new lock on your door. Smart move.”

  Penny wanted to address the beginning of his comment, but she was too surprised by mention of the lock.

  “Yes, it was installed today. How did you know?”

  “Oh, Matt told me.”

  “In the last thirty minutes?” She eyeballed her clock. Hadn’t she just gotten off the phone with Matt?