by Lane Hart
She finally opened the door with a towel wrapped around her. She wouldn’t look up at me.
“Kate, are you sure I didn’t hurt you?”
She nodded her head. “Um, could you go to the store for me?” she asked as she blushed.
“Sure, let me get a quick shower and I’ll go get whatever you need.”
“This is so fucking embarrassing,” she said covering her face.
“Hey don’t worry about it. It’s probably my fault, and it’ll stop soon,” I told her.
“I don’t know.”
“Maybe it’s just the time of the month thing?”
“Maybe. I don’t really want to talk about this anymore,” she said as she walked past me back into the bedroom.
“Okay, lay down and try to get some rest. I’ll head out to the store in a minute then I’ll join you.”
I took a quick shower then wrote the number for the cell phone down on the notepad beside the bed.
“Call me if you think of anything else you need or if anyone comes to the door, okay?”
I grabbed the sheets to throw out in a dumpster along the way, then locked the door. I hated having to leave her by herself, but I was pretty sure we would be okay here.
I was thankful I didn’t have to go far to find a supermarket since there was one just two blocks away. I grabbed some food and drinks, feminine products, and another prepaid card for the phone.
When I got back to the car I opened the phone, which luckily still had about half a battery life. I couldn’t let go of the worry about what was going on with Kate, and wanted to see if Joselin might have some answers since she’s been around for so long.
I punched in her number again and hit send.
“Sam? Is everything okay?” she answered.
“Yeah thanks, the hotel’s great, but I was just wondering, ah, do you know anything about witches?” I asked.
“I’ve only met one or two, why?”
“Do you know about their um, reproductive cycles?” I asked, embarrassed to be talking about the subject. She was silent for so long I wasn’t sure if she was still on the line.
“Why?”
“Well, um, Kate’s eighteen and never had a, ah, period before, then she just started bleeding. Do you know if their um, periods just start when they’re older?” This was so personal maybe I shouldn’t have called her with all this.
“No, I’m pretty sure witches don’t ever have periods.”
“Oh. Well shit. I’m sorry to bother you with all this Joselin, it’s just we don’t have any other women to ask. Her mom was a witch, actually her mom was Liz, but she died when Kate was a baby.”
“You’re with Liz’s daughter, Kate? I don’t believe it. I knew that Liz had died years ago but I don’t think I ever told you.”
“God that sucks. It took me awhile to put it together, and I couldn’t believe it either. I haven’t even told Kate. Anyway, do you have any idea why she might be bleeding?”
“Yeah, unfortunately I’ve got a pretty good idea.”
“Oh, good! What do you think it could be?”
“She’s pregnant.”
“I’m sorry, what was that?” I swear it sounded like she’d said pregnant, but that’s fucking impossible.
“Sam, I really hate to tell you this, but she’s either pregnant or having a miscarriage.”
“No. It’s got to be something else, because that’s impossible. You know I’m sterile.”
I heard her deep sigh before she responded. “I’m so sorry Sam, but it can’t possibly be yours.”
“But she can’t be. I mean she just lost her virginity, and she’s only been with me. Me and … oh fuck!” My lungs forgot how to work. I felt like I was going to suffocate before they figured out how to get air in them again. When they did I exploded.
“Goddamn-motherfucking-son-of-a-bitch! I’ll kill him! I swear I am going to kill that fucking bastard!” I broke the steering wheel off and threw it out the window, shattering the glass.
There’s got to be some other explanation. Kate said it was only once and they’d used a condom. That he’d tried to talk her out of using one. Then there was his parting comment the other night about how I could fuck her the rest of my life and I would never be able to knock her up. I hit and broke everything in my sight.
“Sam? Sam, are you there?” I don’t know how much time passed but at some point I could hear Joselin’s voice from the phone I’d dropped in the floorboard.
I reached and picked it back up even though I just wanted to crush it in my fist. I wanted to destroy everything I could get my hands on.
“Sam? Are you okay?”
“What the fuck am I going to do?” I finally asked her as I hyperventilated.
“You’ve got to tell her, and then let her decide what she wants to do.”
I already knew what Kate would do. There was not a cruel or uncaring bone in her body. She would keep the bastard’s baby.
“Oh fuck!” It hurt so bad to think about it as I threw my head back against the car seat.
“I’m really sorry Sam,” she said though I barely heard her. “Call me if you need anything, okay?”
I turned the phone off and just sat in the trashed car. I’d have to find us another one since this one was now out of commission. I couldn’t make myself get out and go back to the hotel, and I didn’t give a shit who saw me in the car I’d trashed. I just knew that right now I wouldn’t be able to look at Kate without going into a fucking rage.
Maybe she’d have a miscarriage, I thought, then immediately regretted it. It wasn’t the baby’s fault its father was a fucking piece of shit. And its mother, well, its mother was sweet and kind, and so damn amazing. If it was a girl, she’d be beautiful like Kate. If it was a boy, oh God. I couldn’t handle seeing even the image in my head of a miniature fucking Chris.
But the worst part of the whole thing was my jealousy. He was right. I could never have a child with her. I couldn’t have something with her that he would have from a stupid fucking mistake. I’d never wanted kids before, but I wanted Kate to be pregnant with my child, not spend the rest of her life raising his fucking bastard.
How could I be with her now? She would have a constant reminder of my goddamn inadequacies, and non-stop replays of the night he fucked her once and made it worth more than a lifetime of all her days and nights with me.
Fuck! My stupid face was getting wet. I had to pull my shit together and get back to the hotel. I only had one more question for Joselin before I went back. I called her again.
“Sam? Are you okay?”
“How will we know? How will we know which one it is?” I asked.
“If it’s light and stops in a few hours or just a day, she’s pregnant. If it’s heavy and lasts several days, she’s miscarried. Get her to take a test, but she may need to wait a few days-”
“Thanks,” I said and then hung up.
I closed my eyes and did some deep breathing, counting to ten exercises that ended up being to about a million. Then I grabbed the grocery bags and headed back into the store. I would grab a test, then start looking for another car.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Kate
I was really getting worried about Sam. He’d left almost two hours ago to run to the grocery store. There had to be one close since this was a big city. At most I thought it would take him half an hour.
I started panicking. I called his cell phone number but he didn’t answer. What if someone noticed him? But no one even knew what the real Sam West looked like. Maybe he’s switching cars again. Oh shit! What if he got arrested for stealing another one?
I paced back and forth in front of the door for another twenty minutes before I finally heard him knock.
“Kate, it’s me.”
I undid the chain latch and unlocked the deadbolt.
“Hey, I was getting worried about you,” I told him as he walked in the door and breezed right past me.
“Hey,” was all he said. He l
ooked sad or really pissed off, I couldn’t tell which, and he wouldn’t look at me. There was blood on his shirt and hands and it looked like his knuckles had been bleeding, but were healing.
“What happened? Are you okay?” I asked when he sat the grocery bags on the dining table in the kitchen area, then went into the bathroom without answering me.
When he came back out the blood was gone and he finally looked at me.
“How are you feeling?” he asked quietly. He didn’t sound like himself and I couldn’t read him. Maybe he was just worried about me.
“I’m fine. The bleeding stopped, so it was nothing,” I assured him, hoping it would make him feel better, but if anything he looked more distraught as he sank down on the edge of bed and put his head in his hands.
“Sam? What’s wrong? I’m fine, don’t worry about it. Did something happen at the store?” I asked as I went to stand in front of him.
I had to reach down and raise his face from his hands so he’d look at me. His eyes were watering as he looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time. I was pretty sure he wasn’t the type of guy who ever pulled out the waterworks.
“Sam, you’re scaring me. What happened? Please talk to me,” I begged him.
“You’re pregnant,” he said, then looked away.
“What are you talking about? That’s impossible,” I immediately responded. Where did that come from? “I can’t be, you said vampires are sterile.” What would make him think I could be pregnant? The bleeding? I thought that meant I couldn’t be.
“I am sterile,” he said.
“Then why would you say something so completely ludicrous like I’m pregnant?”
“Because you are. Kate, it’s not mine!” he yelled and he looked so miserable that what he was saying finally made sense.
“No,” the room tilted and I couldn’t stand anymore. Sam’s arms reached out and stopped me from hitting the floor.
I started shaking my head until my mouth worked again. “No, I can’t be. I’ve never had a period. It’s nothing.”
“I called Joselin and she said witches don’t have cycles, so the bleeding is either pregnancy or a miscarriage. If it’s stopped you’re pregnant.”
“Maybe she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” I said defensively.
“Maybe she doesn’t,” he conceded. “I hope to God she doesn’t, but Kate, what if she’s right?”
“I can’t be. It just happened a few days ago. It was only once, and it was so quick it barely counted. He used a condom,” I pulled out all my arguments that made the whole idea impossible.
“Are you sure about the condom?” he asked.
“Yes. Well no. Not at first. I don’t know,” I whispered. The reality that it could be possible was starting to creep its way into my head.
“Kate, it’s not that fucking complicated – was his dick ever in you without a fucking condom?” Sam asked, surprising me with his anger.
“Yes, at the beginning, before I stopped him,” I whispered as I sat down on the bed.
“How could you have been so fucking stupid? Do you have any idea how many disgusting sluts he’s fucked?” he yelled, making me wince at the insult before he jumped up off the bed.
“It’s not like I’ve had that much experience, and no, I don’t know. Is it more than six hundred disgusting sluts?” I asked to hurt him back.
“Don’t even try to flip this shit back on me, but yeah, double that and it might be somewhere in the neighborhood of his fucking record. Oh, and unlike me, he can catch every disease, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s knocked up quite a few of them too, not that he’d give a shit if he had.”
Wow. I was stupid for sleeping with him without knowing any of that.
“Sam, I understand why you’re upset, but I can’t be pregnant. It’s impossible, okay?”
“I bought a test so you can make sure,” he said, and it took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about.
“A test? You’re that concerned that you bought a pregnancy test?”
“Yes, and after what you just fucking told me, that you for some reason failed to tell me before now, it’s not impossible! Will you please just take it? This is fucking killing me!”
He was utterly miserable and it hurt so bad that just one irresponsible decision on my part could cause him so much pain.
“I’m sorry,” I told him, but when I stood up and took a step toward him he backed away out of my reach. “Sam?” I asked as my eyes watered.
“Don’t. I can’t. I’m so fucking angry right now that I can’t breathe,” he said as he turned around and walked as far away from me as he could in the hotel room.
“I destroyed the car and everything else in my sight when she told me all this on the phone, then it took me almost an hour to calm down enough to come back here,” he said as he ran his hands through his hair and clenched and unclenched his still healing fists.
Seeing him so upset made me feel like complete shit. I couldn’t really blame him though.
I turned around and grabbed up the grocery bag, taking it into the bathroom. I peed on the stick and cried while I waited. I felt like my relationship with Sam hung in the balance of what that stupid stick decided. I kept watching but nothing happened. After at least ten minutes had past, still nothing. I let out my breath and finally walked out of the bathroom.
Sam looked up anxiously from where he was sitting again on the side of the bed.
“It’s negative,” I told him.
“Thank fucking God,” he said. But I could tell he was still tense and on the verge of an explosion.
“Now, let’s just try to relax. You need to get some sleep,” I told him.
“This has been the longest damn day of my life,” he said as he threw himself back onto the bed.
I felt like I needed his forgiveness. I wanted him to kiss me and hold me so that I knew we were okay. I wanted to make him let go and forget all the anger my one stupid decision had caused him, to move past this whole scare.
After I got undressed I climbed up on the bed. Sam’s eyes were still closed as I straddled him and started raising his shirt. When he grabbed my wrists stopping me it felt worse than if he’d slapped me.
“Kate,” he said my name like it meant “stop” or “no”.
The tears from earlier came back and fell down on him.
“Goddammit! Don’t cry on me!” he said as he finally opened his eyes and looked up at me. They were so dark with anger I gasped. “This is your fucking fault so don’t you dare make me feel bad for being pissed off! I was so fucking enraged I could’ve killed someone! Well, there’s only one person I wanted to kill, but I’m not going to apologize if I hurt your fucking feelings!”
His words were so harsh it felt like he’d stabbed me with each one. But I was tired of crying. I could be angry too.
“I told you I was sorry!” I screamed through the tears, as I sat back on my knees that were still on either side of him. “But I’m not the only one who fucked someone else! If you hadn’t done that to me then I wouldn’t have been so mad and hurt that I would have screwed him in the first place! The only difference was the remote possibility that I could get pregnant when the whore you fucked couldn’t!”
“That’s exactly why I’m so fucking pissed! No matter how much I love you, or how long we’re together, I can never have with you what that fucking bastard almost had with you from just one of your stupid fucking mistakes!”
“What?” I whispered, caught off guard by his statement.
“You may not want kids today, or even in a few years, but eventually you will, and if you’re with me then I’ll be nothing but a disappointment, and probably just a regret.”
So, he was jealous? That’s why he was so angry? Then I remembered Chris’s comment the other night when he told Sam he could fuck me all day and night for the rest of his life and never knock me up. I hadn’t really thought much about it since the idea of kids had never even crossed my mind.
“Sam, that’s not true. I will never regret being with you. Even though we just met I already love you so much that it wouldn’t be a sacrifice to give up that for you. If it was possible for witches to be turned, I would give up the chance of ever having kids for a life with you today. I know I can live without some idea or future possibility, but I can’t live without you.”
He reached up and wiped my tears from my cheeks. That small, gentle touch, knowing how angry he was at me, only made them fall faster.
When he pulled me down to his chest the sobs started. The last thing I remembered before falling asleep was his hands in my hair.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Sam
When I woke up I was still holding Kate to me, but we had shifted to our sides at some point. I didn’t know if it was morning or night. I was so confused.
My chest still hurt to look at her and I couldn’t yet let go of the anger, but I loved her more than anything. It wasn’t like what happened was her fault. She was right, I’d made my own decisions. Then the bastard had told her about what I’d done, when it would have been tough for her to refuse him anyway. This was all his fault. Being hunted and on the run, taking me to the strip club where I’d cheated on her, convincing her to cheat on me, scaring the shit out of us that she could’ve been pregnant because he didn’t use a condom. I wish I knew where he was, because I’d beat the shit out of him again.
Kate hadn’t had anything to eat all day, and if I was starving I knew she had to be too. I rubbed her side until her eyes opened and she started blinking at me.
“Hey, sorry to wake you up but we need to eat something. You haven’t had anything in almost a day.”
“I was having a good dream,” she said as she grinned.
“Sorry I interrupted it,” I joked.
“It’s okay. This is better,” she mumbled as she reached up and rubbed the days’ worth of scruff on my cheeks. Her hand then went down and up under my shirt, rubbing my bare stomach and chest, then back down to the waistband of my jeans where she slid her hand under it.
