The Cats that Surfed the Web

by Golden, Karen

Katherine ran down the hall to open the door. Mario stood outside.

  “Hey, Marie,” he teased. “Colleen’s down on the street, double-parked. She says I’m to help you carry your cats.”

  “Oh Mario, thank you so much, but first I have to herd my kids into their traveling carrier.”

  “Can I help?”

  “I’m good. Just stay here for a minute. I’ll coax them into the carrier, and then we can take them downstairs.”

  The telephone rang in the kitchen. Racing down the hall, Katherine answered the phone on the third ring.

  “Leaving without saying good-bye?” The voice on the other end had a sarcastic tone.

  “I can’t talk now, Gary,” Katherine lied. “Can I call you later?”

  “Katz, I want to see you before you leave.”

  “Not interested.”

  “Just hear me out. Moni told me your news.”

  “Monica had no right to do that,” Katherine fumed.

  “I guess Moni’s loyalties lie with the family, not the job.”

  “What do you want?” she asked bitterly.

  “Indiana,” he said cynically. “I can see you and the cats staring out a large picture window at cows in the meadow, chewing their cud.”

  “Gary, that’s one of your big-time limitations,” she began. “When you fly on business from the East Coast to the West Coast, you never stop and check out the in-between.”

  “Maybe I’ll do that someday,” he suggested.

  “Not in your lifetime,” she said. “This is good-bye. Have a nice life. And,” she said firmly, “Never—ever—call me again!” She slammed the receiver down so forcibly that the phone fell off the table.

  “Everything okay, Marie?” Mario asked earnestly, still standing at the front door.

  Katherine took a deep breath and walked into the hallway, “Yes, Mario. I’m sorry you had to hear that. I need to get my cats in the carrier before Colleen gets a parking ticket.” She walked into the bedroom, spouting wonderful compliments about the cats’ good looks. She kneeled down and looked under the bed. She found Iris’s cosmetic brush stash, but no cats.

  “Where are you guys?” She went into the living room and was surprised to see three Siamese inside the carrier. Scout and Iris formed two compact bundles, sitting side-by-side and looking up at her with slanted, blue eyes. Lilac was nestled in the corner with her paw on the bear. Katherine didn’t waste any time on a second glance, and hurriedly closed the metal door.

  “Good girls,” she cooed, “Okay, Mario. Mission accomplished. If you carry the cats, I’ll get my bag and keys to lock up.”

  “Sure, Marie.” He hurried down the hall, leaned down to pick up the carrier, and gazed inside. He made a kissing sound and said, “Buon giorno. What beautiful cats.” Iris hissed.

  “Did I say something wrong?” he asked.

  “Iris is having a bad fur day,” Katherine assured him.

  She sadly said good-bye to her apartment and followed Mario down to the street. While Colleen sat behind the wheel, Mario and Katherine tried to push the large carrier through the door and onto the back seat.

  “I think it’s stuck,” Katherine said, worriedly. For a moment, she was terrified it wouldn’t fit.

  “It has to fit,” Colleen noted. “We brought it here from the pet store.”

  With one final push, the carrier fit snugly through the door and settled onto the back seat. The cats huddled by the metal door and looked forlornly out the opening. Katherine leaned over and placed a small litter box behind the driver’s seat.

  “Say good-bye to New York,” Colleen said.

  The cats were unusually quiet.

  “Quiet before the storm,” Katherine muttered under her breath.

  Colleen jumped out of the car and ran around to the passenger side.

  “What are you doing?” Katherine said, perplexed.

  “Oh, I don’t want to drive.”

  Katherine rolled her eyes. She hugged Mario and thanked him before she got into the car. Mario smiled, then winked at Colleen. “See you in a week,” he said, beaming.

  “Maybe,” Colleen said mischievously.

  “Ciao,” he said to the cats.

  “Me-yowl,” Lilac belted hungrily.

  “Not chow, honey,” Katherine said.

  “Oops,” Mario laughed. “Arrivederci!”

  Katherine placed her GPS on the dash, put the car in gear, and moved into traffic. Within two blocks, all hell broke loose in the carrier. For a large carrier that had previously been—with utmost difficulty—wedged in the back seat, it was now being rocked back and forth by Scout, who was having a complete cat fit. “Waugh,” she screamed, kicking the side of the carrier. Iris yowled. Iris hissed. Lilac began whining. Scout kept on kicking like a kangaroo in some sort of crazed feline tantrum.

  “Pull over. Pull over,” Colleen shouted, looking back at the mayhem. “They’re killing each other. I think that GPS lady is making them crazy.”

  “Make a left on Baxter Street,” the machine said.

  “Where the hell is that?” Katherine asked.

  “Baxter Street,” the machine repeated.

  “Oh, turn that thing off,” Colleen implored.

  “Okay, okay,” Katherine said, trying to turn down the device’s volume with one hand. She crossed three lanes before she could find a spot to double-park. By now, Iris was in a rage and was pummeling Lilac, who was cowering in the corner, whimpering.

  The GPS droned on, “Recalculating.”

  “I can’t get her to shut up.” Finally, Katherine tapped the off switch. “We’ve got to get Scout out of there,” she said.

  “But we don’t have a cage for her,” Colleen said.

  “She’ll have to ride outside the cage.”

  Katherine got out of the car and ran to the passenger side. She partially climbed in the back seat and struggled to open the carrier’s metal door. She extracted the hysterical Scout and held her to her chest, while Colleen reached around Katherine and shut the metal door. Iris gave out one more hiss before settling down. She immediately began to groom the terrified Lilac. Katherine held Scout close and cooed to her reassuringly. A group of homeless people stood nearby observing the scene. “Nice fruit bat,” one of them said.

  “Katz, we better go,” Colleen said. “There’s a traffic cop on the corner writing tickets.”

  Katherine set Scout down on top of the carrier and hurriedly shut the car door. Colleen slid back into her seat and Katherine resumed her driving position. She pulled out a piece of paper from her bag. “I’m just going to follow the directions Mark sent me. No more GPS lady.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  Scout jumped to the back windowsill and sat like an Egyptian sphinx, staring at the traffic. She cried an incessant string of variations on “waugh” from “whoa” to “mir-waugh” to “ma-waugh” until the car had crossed the toll bridge between New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Then she quieted down and went to sleep. Meanwhile, the other two cats were snuggled in a fur ball, fast asleep. Lilac’s paw was twitching.

  “I think the little darlings are asleep,” Katherine whispered.

  “Waugh,” Scout protested weakly, and then fell back to sleep.

  “My neck hurts from checking,” Colleen complained. “Are we there yet? I’m hungry. I need a spot of tea. Can we stop so I can go to the bat-room?”

  “Bathroom,” Katherine chuckled at her friend’s pronunciation.

  They drove on for another hour before stopping at a fast food restaurant. Katherine was afraid someone would break into the car and steal the Siamese, so she stayed in the car while Colleen went inside.

  “Don’t they need to go to the cat-room?” Colleen asked, returning to the car.

  “They’ll scream like banshees when they need to use the litter box, I’m sure,” Katherine said. “But, just in case I’m going to leave this metal door open.”

  Iris and Lilac continued sleeping.

  “I think the car motion has
anesthetized them,” Colleen joked.

  Colleen traded seats with Katherine and began driving. They agreed to relieve each other every two hours. The car was getting excellent gas mileage, so they did not have to stop for gas frequently.

  Five hours into Pennsylvania, Katherine was behind the wheel. Scout had moved from the rear window ledge to inside the carrier. The three cats formed a tight circle; Scout was snoring intermittently.

  “Where are we staying?” Colleen asked in reference to their overnight accommodations.

  “Akron.”

  “Akron?” she asked. “Where’s that?”

  “It’s in Ohio. We’re so lucky it hasn’t snowed.”

  Colleen put up her hand as if to ward off an enemy attacker. “Don’t say that. You’ve just jinxed the trip. Now it’s sure to snow.”

  “I watched the Weather Channel. Snow isn’t in the forecast.”

  A few minutes later, flurries filled the air.

  “Well, then, what are those things? See?” Colleen said pointing. “It’s snowing.”

  “That’s just a little dusting from off Lake Erie.”

  The snowfall began to increase in intensity. It was accumulating quickly on the highway. Semi-trucks and cars began traveling at a snail’s pace. The windshield wipers had difficulty keeping the heavy wet snowflakes off the glass. Outside the car, the landscape appeared surreal as the snow lent a soft and pendulous shape to every limb, tree, boulder and guardrail.

  “Now what are we going to do?” Colleen said nervously. “We’ll never make it to Acorn doing forty miles per hour.”

  “Akron,” Katherine corrected. “I think you’re right. If this keeps up, I think we should find a room and order room service.”

  “What if the motel doesn’t allow pets?”

  “We’ll look for the Vacationer’s Paradise chain. I checked. They allow cats and small dogs. Be on the lookout for a sign.”

  “That will be difficult, considering the fact it’s snowing to beat the band, and I’m as blind as a bat.”

  Gusts of wind buffeted the little car. The cats woke up and began to cry. Lilac, who had been silent for most of the trip, began to me-yowl loudly.

  “Colleen, reach back there and pick her up. You’re going to have to hold her.”

  “Look, Miss Katz, I said I’d help you move to Indiana, but I don’t remember saying anything about holding cats.”

  Lilac continued howling until Colleen couldn’t stand it any longer. She flung herself over the seat and pulled Lilac out. She sat the startled cat on her lap. Lilac immediately quieted and began to purr noisily.

  “I bet they’re tired,” Katherine said, slowing the car to thirty miles per hour.

  The snow was flying straight at the windshield, so Katherine could barely see through it.

  Colleen spotted a motel advertisement on a lighted billboard, and they pulled off at the next exit. After driving several miles, they found the motel. Unfortunately, other weary travelers shared the same notion, and had quickly filled the motel’s vacancies. The manager was very apologetic and said, “Our Internet service is down, probably because of the storm. Let me call ahead to the next motel, which is forty miles away.” He lifted the receiver and punched in the number. He spoke for a few seconds, then gazed at the fatigued travelers. “One room is available.”

  “But I wanted my own room,” Colleen protested, not wanting to sleep in the same room with the rowdy cats.

  “I’m sorry, ma’am,” the manager said. “This is the last room up the road, but it’s got double beds, so you’ll at least have your own bed.”

  “Book it,” Katherine said, almost shouting. She quickly wrote her name and number on a slip of paper and handed it to him.

  “Consider it done,” the manager replied.

  “And thanks so much,” the women said, rushing out the door. They got back into the car and brushed the snow off their coats. Scout had returned to the back window ledge and was watching the snowflakes. She was trying to bat them with her paw. Iris and Lilac joined her in the back.

  Katherine drove back to the interstate.

  “You know, you could have saved ninety bucks and not bought that dog carrier,” Colleen noted.

  “Yes, but it will help when we have to take them inside the motel.”

  They drove the distance to the motel in silence. Once there, Colleen jumped out, slammed the door, and ran through the snow to the front office, while Katherine found a parking spot nearby. She leaned over the seat and tried to capture each one of the reluctant Siamese to put them back into the carrier. They moved further back on the back window ledge.

  “Come on, Scout,” she coaxed. “I can’t carry you outside. You’ll get wet in the snow.”

  “Waugh,” Scout wailed, scooting farther from Katherine’s reach.

  Iris and Lilac jumped back inside the carrier. “Good girls,” Katherine praised.

  Colleen returned and tapped on the glass. “Is it safe to come in?” she asked.

  “Yes, but be quick about it,” Katherine said loudly.

  “Our room is in the back on the first floor—number 23,” Colleen said, climbing in.

  Once inside the car, Katherine turned to Colleen and said, “Got a problem here. I can’t get Scout inside the carrier, so I’ll let you open the door to our room and then I’ll carry her inside.”

  “If you think so,” Colleen said worriedly.

  Katherine parked and Colleen flew out the car to open the motel room door. Katherine climbed over the seat and snatched Scout, who shrieked in resistance. After she skinned her knee getting out of the car, Katherine hurried into the room—with the struggling cat in her arms—and locked Scout in the bathroom.

  “Scout, I’ll have to wipe you off later,” she called through the door. She turned to Colleen. “Let’s bring the others in now.”

  Katherine and Colleen struggled with the carrier, but managed to maneuver it from the back seat. The snowflakes seemed wetter and clumped on top of the cage. Iris and Lilac shifted to the back of the carrier. Inside the room, Katherine let the two cats out, then went into the bathroom to dry Scout. Scout surprised Katherine by licking her on the nose. “Ingrate,” Katherine scolded. “Waugh,” Scout answered, licking her again.

  Colleen called from the next room. “There’s a card on the desk with the names of nearby restaurants. Believe it or not, there’s an Irish pub close by.”

  “Woo hoo,” Katherine said, joining her. “Let’s get the cats situated, and then we’ll check out the restaurant. I’m hungry for fish and chips.”

  “Fish and chips and a pint,” Colleen added.

  They returned to the car and found the bag with the cat food and drinking bowl. Katherine tucked it under her arm while she reached for the GPS.

  “That thing is so annoying. Why don’t you just leave it in the car. Maybe someone will steal it,” Colleen quipped.

  “Very funny. Could you get the litter box?”

  “I guess.”

  Back in the room, they discovered the cats busily sniffing every inch of the space. Katherine placed the litter box in the bathroom. She poured spring water into their cat bowl, opened a can of tuna, and dished out three portions. The cats were more interested in getting drinks of water than the food.

  “I think they’re okay now,” she said. “I really hate to go back out in this weather, but I am famished.”

  “I’m absolutely starving,” Colleen added.

  The two left the room and drove to Irish pub. They sat at the bar and shared a large order of fish and chips. After they finished eating, Katherine texted Mark and keyed in a brief message: Staying in Clarion, PA. Snowstorm. Call or text me.”

  “Okay, let’s just settle up and go back to the room,” Colleen suggested.

  “Excellent idea. I’m exhausted.”

  They paid their tabs and returned to the motel. As soon as they stepped through the door, Katherine’s cell phone rang. One of the cats growled from under the bed.

 
; Katherine quickly put the phone to her ear. “Hello.”

  “Hey, it’s Mark. Snowstorm, huh?”

  “We came upon a nasty storm in Pennsylvania and decided to check into a motel earlier than intended. I’m not sure how far Akron is from Clarion. I’d look it up, but we don’t have Wi-Fi here.”

  “Hang on. I’ll look it up on my map app.” In a few seconds, he said, “You’re about two hours from Akron. What’s the weather doing now?”

  “Just a sec,” Katherine said, moving the curtains aside. “It’s still snowing, but not quite as hard.”

  “Do you think you’ll be able to travel tomorrow?”

  “I’m optimistic. We’re certainly going to try. I’m not sure what time we’ll get to Erie. We plan on driving straight through.”

  “When you get close to Erie, call me so I can make sure I’m at the house.”

  “What if it’s really late?”

  “Not a big deal,” he said. “Drive safely. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”

  Katherine set the phone down on the nightstand, then crawled onto the bed. “Well, I’m going to call it a day.”

  “Make sure those furry creatures of yours stay off of my bed.” Colleen pulled the sheet over her head and feigned snoring. Lilac observed the lump and sneaked up onto the bed. She flattened into a stalking pose, raised her rump slightly, and wiggled it. Before Katherine could react, Lilac pounced on the unsuspecting Colleen. Colleen shot up out of the bed and screamed. Lilac scampered into the bathroom.

  “Bad cat,” Katherine scolded, mildly.

  “I knew I needed my own room,” Colleen protested. She collapsed on her pillow.

  “She’ll settle down in a while,” Katherine said, then added facetiously, “But wait until the others come out.”

  “What?” Colleen said startled, sitting back up.

  “Just kidding.”

  * * * *

  A shaft of sunlight fell through the opening between the curtains. Scout and Iris vied for a position on the narrow ledge. Scout fell from the window and scraped the wallpaper with her back claws. Katherine woke up.

  “What time is it?” she shouted, nearly falling out of bed.

  The covered lump in the next bed moved slightly and said sleepily, “I don’t know.”