The Monster Hunters

by Larry Correia

  “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m still not sure this is right for me.”

  “Why?”

  I scratched my head. “Well . . .” He was a shrink after all. “Growing up, my father had this weird apocalyptic idea about the future, and he wanted me to be ready for it. So he pushed me into being something that I didn’t really think I wanted to be. Then when I got older, I felt like I let him down, so I did something really stupid, lost my temper, and almost killed somebody who probably deserved it, but that’s beside the point. So when I tried to distance myself from that kind of thing, and tried to be normal, I find myself involved in something even worse than before. Monsters are real, and it looks like maybe my father was right all along, and the future really is bleak, and I’m supposed to be a violent brute, and it’s good that I’m good at killing things. But I still lost my temper and almost killed another Hunter, who once again, probably deserved it, but at least the sharks didn’t eat him, so I’m still managing to screw stuff up. Now I’m having visions and hearing voices.”

  “Okay . . . I’m going to need to bump a few appointments from my calendar this afternoon to squeeze you in . . .”

  “No time for that, since it looks like some super monster is trying to destroy time, and somehow I’m tagged by fate or the universe or something to fight him. But when this is over, if I live, I really need to figure out, do I really want to do this kind of thing? Or is it better to just forget this ever happened, and go back to my normal life?”

  Doctor Nelson digested my ramblings for a few moments while we strolled along the walk. “Ehhh . . .” He shrugged. “Normal people are lame. Stick with monster hunting.”

  We stopped as another patient came up to shake my hand.

  “Thank you for what you do,” he stated vacantly. “The screaming killer frogs done ate my whole family. But y’all came and saved the rest of the town. Thank you. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” I said. I did not have the heart to tell him that I did not even know what a screaming killer frog was. “Our pleasure. You just get some rest and get to feeling better. Okay?”

  He thanked me a few more times before letting go of my hand. He had some more information to share. “There are some killer frogs flying around. Big ones. These ones are shaped like men. But bigger. And they have wings and horns, so I reckon they ain’t really frogs. But you know how that goes. I done saw them in the trees by the river, watching the place. If you get a chance, Mr. Hunter sir, you should probably go kill them or something.”

  “Thank you for the information, Travis. We will look into it.” The doctor patted the young man on the shoulder and sent him on his way. We watched as he ambled off. “Poor boy. He has spent more than half of his life here and he is still delusional. That’s too bad. He has not been seeing monsters for quite some time. I’m afraid he may be relapsing. I’m going to have to adjust his meds.”

  The doctor sat down tiredly when we came to the next bench. We had a good view of the forest, the river, and the back of the asylum. “It has been a long day. I need a little break, and then I’m going to have to return to my duties. And my door is always open, when you take care of your current monster problem. I’m afraid Joan and I don’t get many visitors. I do realize that many people find this place kind of depressing.”

  “Just a little,” I lied. I stretched my legs and studied the intricate architecture of the building. It was a remarkably depressing structure considering how much good the Nelsons were trying to accomplish. The building was hideously dark. The walls were thick, blocky stone, with carved designs on the edges, and the look was completed by the pair of massive stone gargoyles that sat on the building’s roof. “Maybe it’s the setting? This place looks more like a haunted castle than an institution dedicated to helping people.”

  “That it does. But you should have seen it before we bought it from the state. Joan and I wanted to put our earnings from MHI to good use. This facility is perfect for what we do. Though I will agree, it does bring to mind The Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

  “Yeah, it looks like what insane asylums look like in horror movies. Sorry, mental health facilities,” I said. “Heck, you even have gargoyles. Isn’t that kind of a bad idea with patients who are scared out of their minds by monsters?”

  He adjusted his absurdly thick glasses and studied the roof.

  “Hmm . . . I may not need to change Travis’s medication after all.”

  “Huh?”

  “Our building doesn’t have gargoyles.”

  We watched as one of the giant statues swiveled its horned head as if it was analyzing the air. The other creature slowly and ponderously stretched one of its wings.

  “Oh, shit,” we said in unison.

  Chapter 15

  “Julie! We have gargoyles on the roof. At least two of them,” I shouted into my cell phone as I sprinted around the property for the van and our stash of weapons. Doctor Nelson had left to sound the alarm to lock down the facility.

  “How big are they?” she asked.

  “Freaking huge. Probably ten or twelve feet tall. I think they’re the big monsters from my dream.” I leapt over a bench, surprising a patient who had been napping. “Get inside! Run!” I shouted at the patients as I went past. Just as I said that a horn began to blow. The alarm. “What do we do? I haven’t learned about gargoyles yet.”

  “Grab big guns. Explosives. Gargoyles are stone golems. Animated creatures. If you have to engage with small arms, go for the joints—those are fluid. That’s how they move. I’ll call Earl.” She hung up.

  I made my way to the parking lot in an all-out sprint, fumbling in my pocket for my keys. I looked up in time to see a third gargoyle land on the front roof of the Appleton Asylum. The roof splintered and cracked as the creature settled its weight. Its wingspan had to be forty feet across, and it nearly blotted out the sun. There was a whooshing noise as the monster gently flapped its wings. It settled deeply into a powerful crouch, talons digging into the roof tiles. Massive arms dangled at its sides, ending in pointed claws. Long horns extended from its head, and continued down its back, terminating in a stubby tail. The beast was gray, and had the texture of poured concrete. It swiveled its head and studied me with blank stone eyes.

  I crashed into the van, keys in hand. I picked out the correct one, but before I had a chance to insert it, the gargoyle spread its wings and leapt downwards, covering the four stories in an instant. There was no natural explanation for how such a big thing could glide. It landed on the roof of the van, crushing the center, shattering every window, and compressing the shocks. I jumped aside as the van rocked wildly. The gargoyle swung an absurdly long arm at me, and I barely had time to fall backwards as the claws dug long furrows into the asphalt.

  Patients were screaming, falling to the ground and covering their heads, running or hiding, and a few were just standing there mumbling to themselves. I ran for the entrance, and seconds later heard the concrete stairs break behind me as the creature jumped from the roof of the van. Not looking back, I jerked open the double door and entered the asylum. It closed automatically behind me.

  Doctor Lucius was there, pushing his way through the panicked crowd. He was breathing hard and his face was gray. The retired Hunter knew to fetch us some hardware, though. The doctor shoved a rifle into my hands, and then shakily lifted his own. They were old M1 Garand rifles from WWII. He handed me a few 8-round en-bloc clips that I dropped into my pants pocket.

  “Armor piercing .30-06. That should get his attention. It’s already loaded,” he gasped, and then added, “I’m really far too old for this kind of thing.” Patients and staff were moving around us in confusion. “Get out of the main hallways. Get to your rooms, or get to the basement!” he ordered.

  I stuck my finger in the trigger guard to remove the safety. I pointed it at the door and waited. Nothing happened. The doctor continued to bellow orders over the screaming and hysterical crying. Since I had a moment, I took my electronic earplugs out of my
shirt pocket and stuffed them into my ears. If I lived through this, at least I might keep some of my hearing. I quickly studied my surroundings. A large open room, some Ping-Pong tables and couches, there was no real cover to use in the common room. Nothing that a giant stone creature couldn’t just bull its way through.

  I interrupted the doctor’s shouted orders. “You better get out of here. Get your people and go. I’ll hold it as long as I can.” I kept the old rifle pointed at the door. I did not know what the creature was waiting for.

  “No way. This is my home. No monster pushes me around.”

  “Then we stick and move. Fall back when I tell you to.” Had the creature taken back to the sky? Could I risk returning to the van for some bigger weapons? I caught the doctor nodding out of the corner of my eye. Good, the last thing I wanted was for him to stay here and get turned into paste. Then I heard the noise as stone talons clicked rapidly toward the entrance.

  There was a tremendous crash as the gargoyle threw itself against the doorframe. Mortar rained from the wall under the impact as the wooden doors broke inward. The heavy wood flew, crumbling into splinters. A horned head appeared through the cloud of dust. The creature tried to crawl through the entrance, but its shoulders were too large. The doctor and I opened fire.

  I fired my eight shots in a few seconds, the empty clip ejected with a metallic ping. Dust rose from the gargoyle as the bullets struck. The impacts made small craters in the stone, but the creature was seemingly unfazed. It pulled its massive bulk back and crashed into the frame again, dislodging several heavy stones and knocking them to the floor.

  “Fall back, Doctor!” I shouted as I reached into my pocket and pulled out an en-bloc clip. I thumbed it into the open action, narrowly avoiding getting my thumb pinched as the bolt flew forward. The doctor obliged and I lost track of him as he retreated toward a side hallway. I took careful aim at the creature, trying to find a joint. The monster’s giant stone face opened, showing a throatless mouth filled with huge, blunted teeth. It was a roar, but no sound issued forth. The gargoyle drew back for another run, crashed into the stones, and then backed up to come again. A few more tries and it would be inside. I placed the front sight carefully on the gargoyle’s massive neck and fired. The bullet struck high and ricocheted off. I adjusted my aim and shot it again. This time there was a flash of molten liquid as the .30 caliber round punched into softer material. The thing reeled back. It had felt that one. I shot it in the armpit when it tried to cover its throat, and was rewarded with another splash. The monster flinched as if in pain, and leapt straight into the air and out of my view. I could hear the powerful beating of wings as it soared upwards.

  “Doctor Nelson! Are you okay?” Nobody answered. I heard whimpering and crazed babbling from some of the patients who were too confused or paralyzed with fear to run. “Anybody seen the doctor?” I shouted again.

  “He’s over here. I think he’s hurt,” someone called.

  Doctor Lucius had made it a few yards down the hallway before he had fallen. He was clutching his chest and his face was contorted in a grimace. A female patient was cradling his head and an orderly was trying to help him.

  “He-he-heart . . .” the doctor said. Sweat was rolling off of his forehead and he had lost his glasses.

  “Aw, hell.” For all I knew the gargoyle could be coming back any second. “Get him out of here. Drag him if you have to. Find a doctor or a nurse or something.” The orderly and the patient complied.

  There was a loud crash from above, and dust fell from the ceiling. Julie! I sprinted back into the common room and up the stairs. I barely reached the second floor when the entryway exploded in a cloud of stone, wood and debris. Pieces of furniture were hurled clear to the second-floor balcony.

  The gargoyle had not retreated at all. Rather, it had taken to the air to build momentum. The thing rolled crazily through the foyer, turning furniture into kindling. I had no idea if all of the patients had evacuated or not, though I doubted it, and I had no time to find out. The unnatural creature stood on its crooked hind legs, and somehow I knew it was searching for me. Its wings unfurled outwards, filling the big room and shattering many of the barred windows.

  The Garand barked as I fired down on the beast. The gargoyle folded one huge wing over its body like a shield, and the bullets shattered against it. The empty en-bloc clip automatically ejected, and I reached for a new one as I resumed running.

  The center of the Appleton Asylum was one large room, with stairs that circled clear to the top. I knew from my conversation with Doctor Lucius that the maximum-security ward was on the top floor. I pushed myself as fast as I could go, fervently wishing that I had spent more time on the company Stairmaster. Unable to spread its mighty wings inside the confines of the asylum, the gargoyle clambered up the stairs after me. It crawled rather than walked, long arms extended. The stairs and support boards cracked as each stone claw came crashing down.

  So far, the creature appeared to be ignoring the patients and concentrating on me. I did not know if the gargoyle was targeting me because it somehow knew I was a Hunter, or because I had the nerve to shoot it, or because it recognized me from my dream.

  The gargoyle paused as something struck it from behind. It swiveled at the base of the stairs. A patient was standing defiant, holding Doctor Nelson’s rifle. It was the man who had not liked Hunters. I believe his name was Barney. He held the rifle at his waist, pointing it in the general direction of the monster.

  “I hid from you demons last time while you ate my kids. But not this time! Die, you son of a bitch!” Blam! He jerked the trigger. The first shot fragmented off of the monster’s wide chest. The next shot impacted the wall four inches from my head. The patient laughed in glee. “I’m free. I’m finally free!” He shot the creature in the foot.

  “Barney! Run! Get out of there!” I shot the gargoyle in the back, but the armored wings covered all of the vulnerable joints.

  The creature absently flicked one long arm, talons spread wide. Barney exploded in a red haze. His lifeless torso bounced off the wall, leaving a huge stain of blood and entrails on the bright paint. He slid to the ground, almost cut in two. Having dealt with the annoyance, the monster turned and regarded me with lifeless eyes. I ran.

  Third floor. The gargoyle was directly under me and gaining fast. It was cumbersome, but it was impossibly large and covered a lot of stairs with each lunge. I leaned dangerously far over the edge and fired at it. The creature barely slowed as most of the bullets bounced harmlessly off of its stone body. I was going to need a bigger gun if I wanted to do anything other than just piss it off.

  “Owen! Up here, quick!” Julie shouted from the fourth-floor balcony. She had her pistol in one hand and was guiding a strait-jacketed man with the other. Doctor Joan was behind them, aghast at the destruction being visited upon her facility. I clambered up the stairs toward them. I heard Julie order the doctor to take her father, and then gunfire broke out as she tried to slow the climbing gargoyle.

  “Down that hall.” Julie gestured with her head as I reached her position. She was inserting a new magazine into her 1911. She dropped the slide. “Elevator. Hurry.” My pursuer was about to reach the fourth floor. More noise rang out from the opposite corridor as another gargoyle tore its way through the building’s walls.

  I ran a few yards down the hall, gunshots banging away behind me as Julie tried in vain to slow the monster. I took up position, and waited for her to leapfrog past. She fired until her pistol was empty, and then turned and sprinted past me. At least three thousand pounds of unnaturally animated, living-stone destruction and pure evil came bearing at me, blank eyes wide, stone mouth gaping. I slowed it down as I placed bullets into its knees and elbows, splashing molten rock onto the walls, which immediately began to smoke and smolder under the superheated fluid.

  The monster stumbled, limbs temporarily buckling, and faceplanted into the balcony floor. The sudden blow brutally shook the fourth-floor balcony. The old wood
structure tore away from its supports with a dust cloud and a screech of bending nails and breaking boards, spilling the gargoyle over the edge. It clawed at the ledge, but the thing was far too heavy, and its talons pulled through the building materials. It fell silently, lacking the room to spread its huge wings, and a second later I was rewarded with a massive echoing crash as the gargoyle smashed through the floor tiles and into the basement.

  “So long, sucker!” I shouted as I ran for the elevator. There was still another gargoyle on this floor. I could hear it breaking its way through the narrow halls to reach us, and there had been a third one on the roof that could be anywhere by now.

  The ceiling exploded. A porous rock claw grasped at my head. I dodged under it and dived into the waiting elevator. Doctor Joan stabbed at the buttons frantically as Julie fired on the monster’s arm. We had found our third gargoyle.

  “Going down?” I asked as I rolled over and patted my pockets, searching for another en-bloc clip. I was out.

  “You got a better idea?” Julie asked. It was taking the doors forever to close. The nearest gargoyle was battering its way in from the roof; tiles and wood splinters rained down as it applied its bulk and fury against the feeble barrier. We only had seconds.

  Gradually the door closed. Pulleys whirred as the elevator started down.

  “What happens if it comes after us while we’re still stuck in here?” I asked absently as I pulled myself to my feet and drew my pistol from inside my waistband.

  “Have you ever stepped on a ketchup packet?” Julie asked rhetorically. “Kind of like that, but a whole lot nastier.” She kept her 1911 pointed at the roof of the elevator car. Not that that would do us an iota of good if the gargoyle made it into the shaft. Dropping several thousand pounds of animated stone onto the car would probably kill us all instantly. It was a tense moment. I thought about telling the doctor about her husband’s apparent heart attack, but I refrained. It wasn’t like she didn’t have enough other problems to worry about right then. Soothing instrumentals played over the elevator’s sound system.