by J. L. Beck
His tone makes me want to put the pillows between us, but I don’t, knowing it might anger him more. I’d seen it so many times with my father. The more I defended myself, the angrier he got.
“I know,” I venture. “I know. I’m sorry.”
He throws his hands up this time. “Stop fucking apologizing. I didn’t ask you to apologize. What I need from you is proof you understand I’m not going to hurt you. Have I done so in the weeks you’ve been with me?”
I shake my head, a spike of guilt cutting through me. “No, you haven’t. I’m so—I mean, you’ve been nothing but kind. This isn’t about you.”
His eyes are hard. “Explain.”
I swallow and wet my lips. “I have never been around a man who can control his anger, or at the very least not direct it at me. Every time you get upset, I expect you to take your fury out on me. It’s not you. With the memories coming back, and the wedding, and you being so…” I wave at his nudity. Every freaking glorious inch of him. “I’m overwhelmed.”
It’s a shit explanation, but it’s all I have to give.
He stalks away, and more glass hits the floor in a crash. This time, I stay still, watching him warily. But true to his word, he doesn’t approach me or make demands of me.
The spike of guilt turns sharper, digging in like a splinter. I dry my face on the blanket, leaving a makeup smudge, but I don’t care. Then I carefully climb off the bed, moving slowly to approach him.
When I reach him, he stills with his back to me. I reach out and touch the back of his shoulder gently. He doesn’t move and doesn’t even seem to be breathing. For a second, I want to take my hand back, return to the bed, and hide under the covers until he decides what to do with me. But I don’t.
The memories came back to me, but along with it are the memories of him. The one where he cut loose the bindings Sal had tied me down with. And how he gently lifted me into his arms and carried me out of there. Since then, he’s been with me constantly, caring for me, helping me recover. I have to remember those facts—not just the trauma but also the blessings.
I lay my hand flat against his warm skin and run my fingers across his wide shoulders. He seems impossibly large. He has since the moment I met him, but naked and angry, he seems bigger.
When he doesn’t shove me away, I hesitantly put my other hand on his skin, marveling at the width of his shoulder blades under my palms. Then I curve them out over the tops of his shoulders to his biceps. As I do this, I step into his back and press my lips to the rigid length of his spine, and whisper, “I’m sorry.”
He sweeps me into his arms before I can even react to his turning to face me. Once again, he carries me to the bed as if I weigh nothing and sets me down on the rumpled covers. I wait to see what he’ll do, not wanting to anger him further.
Some of the tension seems to have left his shoulders, though, and he’s no longer clenching and unclenching his fists like he can’t wait to pummel something. He gathers me back into his arms and moves me onto his lap. My head barely reaches his chin, and I must tilt it to look up at him. It’s easier to try to gauge his mood when I can see his face. Not that he gives much away.
“I won’t hurt you,” he tells me for the hundredth time.
In answer, I press my forehead into his chest and breathe him in, letting the smoky scent of him take me back to the night we met. The night I gained the tiniest glimmer of hope. The night that changed everything.
He gently eases me back onto the bed and settles between my thighs. I tense under him, but he makes no move to take off my panties, nor does he rub against me even though I can feel the hard length of him everywhere.
I have the tiniest moment to wonder what he’s going to do when he leans down and kisses me gently. It’s more than the kiss he gave me at the altar only a couple of hours ago. Somehow, even though it’s just his lips against mine, it contains the promise of so much more.
“Touch me,” he orders. “If you don’t want me to rip off this underwear and bury my cock inside you, touch me now.”
I run my hands over his shoulders and down to his biceps, then easing my hands underneath to curl around his waist to the solid muscles of his back. “Is that okay?”
“More.”
A wash of heat hits my neck as I ease my hands down to the top of his ass. There's a sharp curve where his back gives way to the round softness of his butt, and I like it. I ease my fingers over him and then back up. “Where else do you want me to touch you?”
I realize it’s a stupid question once I’ve asked it. Where do I think he wants me to touch him? The evidence of his need is very thick and very much poking into my belly. “If you want me to touch you there, you’ll have to move off me.”
He carefully eases away and settles into the pillow, one knee propped up, his hardness leaning against his rock-solid abs. I take my time looking at him before crawling closer and settling next to his hip.
He curls his hand around my thigh, watching me. “Touch me.” This time his voice is gentle, the edge of a plea, but not quite so far as all that. I reach out and grip him hard, remembering he likes me to squeeze him. He drops his head back on the pillow and lets his eyes drift shut. Once I tear my gaze away from his face, I focus on my task.
Tonight, he’s giving me the gift of time, of space, and I should thank him for it. I ease closer and stare down at him, trying to figure out how to do what I have in mind. But I can’t figure it out, so I shrug, hunch over, and lap at the dark purple crown above my grip.
He hisses out a breath and jerks his head up to stare at me. When he doesn’t make a move to stop me, I lick him again, turning my face so I can see his reactions.
“Take me between your lips, Angel. You’re not going to hurt me.”
I do as directed and slide my mouth around his thick cock. He tastes salty, but not in a bad way, and I spend a minute testing how far I can ease him into the back of my throat. It’s not far until the weight of his hand tangles in my curls, and he urges me a little farther.
He groans, and tears spring to my eyes, but I let him take control. He fists my hair and drags my head up and down, up and down. I grab his thighs for something to hold while he uses me for his pleasure. It’s filthy, a little bit painful, and so damn hot I can feel my answering wetness between my thighs.
He groans again, and the sound shoots through me in a new way. I focus on keeping my teeth out of the way while he increases his tempo. When his next thrust makes me gag, he gives one more hard push into my mouth, and then he comes. It surprises me, and I only swallow a little before the rest drizzles out of my lips and down my chin.
With the weight of his hand gone, I lift up and wipe my face with the back of my hand. His eyes are closed, and his chest is heaving like he just ran a marathon.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
He pops one eye open, snags me around the waist, and draws me into the curve of his arm. “I’m wonderful, Angel. Lie here and get some rest for now.”
I curl up against him, and for the first time in hours, my mind is blissfully calm and clear. I’m asleep before the lights even go out.
17
Adrian
I know I shouldn’t be around my team today. Not touching her, not taking her has grated my nerves raw. When she cries, though, I can’t resist comforting her and watching the light come back into her eyes. Nor can I stand the thought of being the one who finally extinguishes that light.
I’m thankful none of my men offer any smart-ass remarks as I take my seat at the table. Kai, dressed to kill as usual, throws himself into the chair beside me. “Nothing yet.”
They all know why I’m here when I should be enjoying myself between my new wife’s thighs right now. “Not even any leads?”
Kai pulls out his phone and passes it to me. “I have eyes on everything and everywhere he might want to go.”
I squeeze the phone and then hand it back before I crush it. “The bastard can’t hide forever. I want him flushed out and locked d
own so I can deal with him.” Kai knows the terms of my marriage, but none of the others do…yet. I’m not in the mood to enlighten them.
“What about her father? Any movement on that front? He hasn’t made any effort to contact his daughter or his niece?”
Kai leans forward to try to catch my eye. No doubt trying to read my mood. It should be fucking obvious. “Not that we can tell. According to the staff we were able to talk to, they have a strained relationship. He barely speaks to her some days, and others, well…let’s just say he needs to be gutted.”
I close my eyes and breathe for a moment, needing to rein in my temper. My friends aren’t at fault here. “What about the rest of society? Any changes since the season started?”
Andrea, with her big sweet eyes that disarm everyone, spoke up first. “Alexei and I have been monitoring any shifts. So far, no one’s made any big moves, but I swear, boss, every time we show our faces at an event, we get mobbed by people asking about you. I swear one of the mothers practically shoved her daughter’s tits in Alexei’s face to try to entice him into putting in a good word.”
Alexei, the darker, harder version of his sister, shrugged. “They were pretty nice. Of course, I was vague and made a quick exit. I should have told them to put the boobs in Andrea’s face. She might have appreciated the peep show as much as me.”
Andrea shrugs and gives us all a wink. “We’ll keep an eye on it. Right now, we are also trying to get more information on what business is keeping Valentina’s father so busy out of town.”
I nod, some of my anger fizzling with it. “What is staying with me is why didn’t Sal go with him? He usually goes on those sorts of trips.”
Ivan, my quiet muscle, fields this question. “Also something we are trying to figure out. It might just be he wanted time to—” He breaks off. He was there the day we brought Valentina home.
I study my hands, thinking. “He’s not smart enough to plan. I wonder if there was something else, and he just saw the opportunity. I feel like we’re missing something, and I hate this feeling.”
Everyone shifts uneasily. I make it my business to know everything. If I don’t, then I can’t make an informed decision, and it’s the only kind of decision I make.
“Back to Sal. Tell me about his situation. Was he staying in the house with the family?”
Kai catches my attention. “Sometimes, not full time, mostly when the father needed him for business, or if there was an event that they needed to attend together.”
The memory of Sal touching Valentina hits me hard, and I curl my fists against my thigh. “What about money? His family needs it. That was why he wanted to marry her, right? If we offer the family enough money, do you think they would turn on him? Offer up his hiding place in exchange?”
I meet Kai’s eyes, waiting for the answer. “I think they might pretend they will. They’d be happy to take your money, and then they’ll give us a false location or a false trail just to fuck with us.”
“Make the offer and see what happens. I want to know if they will bite or ignore it.”
Kai nods, even if he doesn’t look happy about the choice. Hell, I’m not happy about it either, but it’s made, and I don’t go back on my decisions.
I need to calm down and get back to Valentina. The sooner she feels at ease with me, the sooner I can start winning her heart. And she has no idea yet, but sex will be one of the weapons I use.
I shove to stand and survey my team. “I don’t care what it costs. Find him, and bring him here.”
A rush of air behind me alerts me to the door opening. At first, I expect the cook, who brings coffee for the carafe we keep here. But it’s not her, it’s Valentina. She’s wrapped in one of my dress shirts, which covers her from neck to knees. “Don’t. Please. You can’t give him money.”
Anger spikes through me. How dare she walk into my command room and start giving orders? I sidestep the chair and grab her upper arm. “What are you doing here?”
She addresses the room and not me, acting like I don’t even exist. “If he has more money, he can buy and sell more women and children. If you knew what he does to them, what they go through…don’t give his family anything. I’ll help if I need to. Use me as bait. He’ll love a chance to get me back.”
I wrap my fingers around her chin and force her to look at me. “Bedroom. Now,” I grit out.
She stares me down for a second, and I think I might have to sling her over my shoulder and drag her out. But then she turns, tugs her arm from my grip, and leaves the room.
“You have my orders,” I tell Kai. He nods, and I follow her out.
In the hall, she hasn’t gone far, and I catch up to her. “What the hell were you thinking? You are the one who came to me to kill that bastard, and now you don’t like the way I do it? You don’t have a choice, Angel.”
She lets out a long sob and then sinks to the floor at my feet. I hate the sight of her bare legs on the cold hardwood, but I crouch down beside her anyway. “What’s going on? Tell me, please, before I have to punish you, and neither of us wants that.”
She gasps and looks up at me through tear-dotted lashes. “P-P-Punish me?”
“You just walked into my command room, countermanded an order I made to my team, and disrespected me in front of them. What would your father do to you if you had done that?”
Her already pale skin turns ashen. “I just can’t let you give him money. More children will be hurt in the most terrible ways. He used to force me to watch videos he and his men made of…” She puts her hand across her mouth and swallows hard like she is about to be sick.
I tuck her head against my chest. It’s an awkward angle, but I need to feel her to step back from some of this rage. From the demand to claim and conquer at all costs.
“Talk to me, Angel. Talk to me so I don’t do something we’ll both regret later.”
She wraps her hands around my biceps and lets me hold her tighter. “Wh-hat should I say?”
“Anything, Angel. Anything.”
I hear her hard swallow, and then she shifts her head slightly. But she doesn’t speak. When she opens her mouth again, she starts to sing an old Czech lullaby, and her voice is…haunting. Not in a please stop singing sort of way. It echoes inside me straight to my memory, and suddenly, it’s not my angel and me, but my mother holding me, singing the same lilting song to lull me to sleep.
It sinks into my bones, instantly calming me in a way I haven’t felt since I was a child. I still and let her soothe away some of the chaos and some of the darkness.
I pick her up in my arms as she keeps singing to me and carry her back to our bedroom. It’s not until I set her on the bed that she stops, and I sink to my knees in front of her. She doesn’t make a sound when I spread my shirt open to reveal her bare skin and the tiny lace scrap of her underwear.
If I can’t take her, right here, right now, then I’m going to touch her this way. Give her back some of the bliss she’s given me.
I strip her panties away in one smooth motion, and her hands sink into my hair.
“Wait, please, don’t.”
I pause long enough to look up her body at all her pinky pale skin and the soft peach tips of her nipples. “I’m doing this, Angel. Consider it your punishment. We are moving things forward. I won’t sink inside you yet, but this is the payment I require for your interruption.”
Her fingers sift through my hair a moment, and I allow her time to think about it. Even if the result will be the same. Giving her time won’t change what I’m going to do, but if it gives her comfort, then I’ll use these little pauses to my advantage.
The seconds tick by without a word. And when she’s come to some sort of decision, she spreads her legs a little bit wider and lays her head back on the bed. Right now, she looks like she’s about to go through the world’s worst doctor’s visit. With a front row view of her pussy, I focus on my task.
She’s pink here too, and as I spread her open, she gasps. It makes me chuckl
e. “I haven’t even touched you properly yet, Angel. Wait a moment to be impressed.”
Her legs quake around my shoulders, and I reach out and scoop her by the ass to drag her toward me. I laugh again at her little squeal of surprise.
“Relax, love, I’m not going to hurt you. The opposite, in fact.”
I don’t give her time to shy away. I lean and slide my tongue from the little pucker of her asshole to her clit. Everything in her jolts, and I have to wrap my arms around her thighs to keep her from wiggling away.
I lick her again, this time for me, delving my tongue inside her to get a taste. Heaven. Just like I knew she would be.
Then I lick my way up to her clit in short, flat strokes. When I lathe her clit, she jolts again, her fingers finally moving in my hair again.
“Oh, you like that?” I whisper against her wet skin. I suck her clit between my lips and enjoy the way she reacts.
I focus on making her squirm harder in my hold. It’s not gentle, me forcing an orgasm on her, but hell, this is supposed to be a punishment.
Her heavy panting reaches me, and I feel her legs tighten around my ears. She’s close, and I can’t wait to taste the sweet honey of her when she tips over the edge.
It takes seconds for her to fist my hair and arch her back, forcing her pussy harder into my mouth. I give her exactly what she wants and use the tip of my tongue to tease her clit faster.
Her breathy moan as she comes is the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard. I lick her softer, easing back slowly until she settles on the bed, her hands falling beside her hips.
I give her one more kiss and then stand to look down at her. “And what do you say to me?”
She peeks one eye open and looks at me. “Yeah, that’ll teach me.”
18
Valentina
Every time he touches me, I still flinch. I feel bad about it because he has done nothing but pleasure me for the past couple of weeks since his “punishment.” Based on what my father would have done to me for butting into things that aren’t my business, he could have done a lot worse.
