Marriage On The Edge

by Sandra Marton

  "I don't."

  "Yeah, Nat. You do. I was coming from the twins' room, and I heard you."

  "Maybe you heard the ocean. Or the wind in the palm fronds."

  "The thing is ... " Crista said carefully, "the thing is, Nat, that maybe you and Gage need to sit down and talk."

  Natalie wiped her hands on a towel. "There's nothing to talk about."

  "There must be. What about finding ways to compromise to get past the things that separate you?"

  "He wants to own the world," Natalie said calmly. "And.

  I just want to be his world. And to have a family to make our world complete. There's no room to get past those differences.'

  "Have you told him all of that?" "There's no point in telling him anything. He's made it clear, Crista. Gage likes his life just the way it is." Natalie's voice quavered. "The way it used to be, I mean."

  Crista shook her head. "Love doesn't just go away, Nat."

  Natalie smiled. "Ah. I see what's happening. You and Grant are working things out."

  A blush suffused Crista's cheeks. "Well, we're trying. The last few times he flew down-" The doorbell rang, and her eyes lit. "That must be him. He called this morning, said he was cancelling his afternoon appointments and coming to see me." She thrust her hands into her hair. "How do I look? I meant to put on some lipstick."

  "You look beautiful," Natalie said softly.

  It was true. Crista had the glow of a woman about to greet her lover.

  The bell rang again. Crista looked towards the foyer, eyes shining.

  "I have to go," she whispered. "But I promise, Nat, even if things work out, if I go back to New York, this place will be yours for as long as you want it."

  Natalie nodded. "Thank you," she said, and closed her heart against the pain of knowing she would never again race down the hall, as Crista was, to fling herself into the waiting arms of her husband-the husband she loved, and always would.

  Gage sat at his desk in his office, frowning over his appointment book.

  Was he due in Tahiti this week or next? And St. Thomas.

  Was that on for the weekend?

  He sighed, shoved the book aside, and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. What was that old saying? If this was Tuesday, it must be Hawaii. Or Puerto Rico. Or any place on the planet where there was a palm tree, a stretch of clean sand and an ocean.

  He knew where he was right now, anyway. In his office, at the Windsong, in South Beach. He'd flown in last night from ... Bali? Yes. From Bali. And the day after tomorrow, he was off again to ... It had to be St. Thomas.

  "Hell," he muttered, and shoved back his chair.

  The flight attendants on the trans-Atlantic and trans-Pacific jets were starting to recognize him on sight.

  Hello, Mr. Baron. How are you, Mr. Baron? May I bring you anything, Mr. Baron?

  Yes, Gage sometimes wanted to say. A life.

  He swivelled his chair around and gazed out the window.

  The Windsong's guests were splashing and swimming in the pool. Some were lying on lounges, toasting in the sun. They didn't look as if they had lives, but he knew they did. Real lives. Somebody to come home to, at night. Somebody to hold in the dark. To argue with, and laugh with ...

  Once upon a time, he'd had a life like that. He'd had Natalie.

  She'd been the centre of his universe. And he'd been the centre of hers. That's what he'd thought, anyway, just as he'd thought their love would last forever. He'd even imagined them growing old together.

  Gage swung away from the window.

  "You are turning into a maudlin fool, Baron," he muttered. Those dreams were all in the past. What was the matter with him? Nobody gave any guarantees in life. Besides, his was a life most men would envy. He had power, and money and status. Women-beautiful ones-hovered around him like bees around honeysuckle.

  He had it all.

  Gage pushed back his chair and rose to his feet.

  Who was he kidding? What he had was a house that rattled with silence and enough Frequent Flyer mileage to start his own airline.

  And the emptiness of going to bed each night, knowing that Natalie had left him.

  It was time to get past that. It wasn't as if he loved her anymore. Why would he? What was there to love? Once, she had been soft, sweet and warm. Then, before he'd even had time to grasp what was happening, she'd become the antithesis of the girl he'd married. The girl he'd married had given way to a woman who was cold and uncaring of him and the life they'd built together.

  She hadn't wanted his baby, either, and that had damn near killed him.

  Why?

  "Why?" he said to his empty office, with all the plaques and certificates on the walls.

  He didn't know the answer. And it didn't matter. He didn't love Natalie anymore. That was all over. It was ...

  Gage shot out a hand, grabbed the phone and punched in the Palm Beach number, a number he knew by heart and had started to dial a thousand times. I rang once, twice, three times.

  Maybe it was a sign that he shouldn't have called. Maybe he ought to hang up ...

  "Hello?"

  He shut his eyes at the sound of Natalie's voice. "Hello' she said again, and he swallowed hard. "Nat?"

  "Gage." Natalie reached behind her for a chair and hung on to the back for support. She told herself to speak calmly. "What a-what a surprise."

  "Yeah." He cleared his throat. "I, ah, I was just thinking ... " "Yes?"

  "I was, ah, I was thinking about you."

  Her heart bumped against her ribs. "That's-that's interesting. I was thinking about you, too."

  Gage gripped the telephone so hard his knuckles whitened.

  "Were you?"

  She nodded. "Yes," she whispered.

  He ran the tip of his tongue over his lips. "What were you thinking? About me, I mean?"

  That I don't want to miss you, but I still do. "Nat? What were you thinking?"

  Natalie swallowed dryly. "That, uh, that... That it was a long time since I'd heard anything about our, ah, our situation. "

  Gage touched his fingers to his temple. For a minute there, he'd thought she was going to say she'd been thinking how she missed him, which only proved what an ass he was. She'd been thinking about the divorce. And that was what he should be thinking about, too.

  "Really," he said politely. "Well, that makes two of us.

  I, ah, I was just looking at my calendar, you know, trying to block out the next few months, and I wondered if you had any idea when our situation might be resolved."

  Tears rose in Natalie's eyes. "Jim hasn't mentioned anything definite," she said just as politely.

  "No. Well, you know how these lawyers are." Gage laughed pleasantly. "They like to drag things out. Tell you what. I'll check on my end. You do the same on yours."

  Natalie thumbed the tears from her lashes. "Fine. We-we don't want this to take any longer than it has to."

  Gage shut his eyes. "No," he said gruffly, "we sure as hell don't." The telephone line hummed with silence. "Well, I guess that's all."

  "I guess."

  "Take care of yourself, Nat." Natalie bit her lip. "You, too."

  Gage waited, the phone in his hand. Say something, babe.

  Tell me this has all been a nightmare and I'll be waking up soon ...

  But all he heard was the soft click as Natalie hung up the phone.

  He sat there for a couple of seconds, his face expressionless. Then, carefully, he placed the telephone back in its cradle, tilted back his chair and steepled his fingers under his chin.

  Natalie wanted this over with as soon as possible, did she? Yeah, well, so did he.

  He rose, paced his office from one wall to the other, ran his fingers through his hair until it stood up in little peaks.

  Sure, he wanted it over. Not that anybody had ever asked his opinion, sat him down and said, "Well, Baron, how do you feel about the fact that a big, fat hole's about to be put into life?"

  Not that it matte
red. It was too late for that. The sooner they ended things, the better. He could go on with his life, she could go on with hers ...

  Gage's eyes narrowed.

  Maybe she'd found another man. The world was ripe with guys like-what was his name? The muscle-bound giant with the pretty face? Hans. Hans, and another zillion like him, all of them eager to hit on a woman as beautiful as Natalie ...

  On his wife.

  Gage roared with fury, snatched up the phone and hurled it at the wall.

  Whatever had he been thinking, all these weeks? His wife had said she was leaving him, and except for a couple of pathetic objections, he'd behaved like a doormat.

  "Yeah," he growled, "well, we'll see about that."

  He grabbed his jacket, flung open the door, and found Rosa standing just outside.

  "I thought I heard a crash," she said nervously. "Is everything all right, Mr. Baron?"

  "No," he snapped, "but it damn well will be. What day is this?"

  "Why ... why, it's Thursday."

  "Cancel my appointments for the afternoon. And for tomorrow."

  "You don't have any appointments tomorrow." Gage strode past her. "Mr. Baron? I said, you have no appointments to cancel tomorrow, sir. You fly to Tahiti in the morning."

  "Call Bill Nelson. Tell him he's going in my place." "But Mr. Baron ... "

  "Just do it, Rosa."

  The door slammed shut, and Gage was gone.

  Natalie stood trembling, staring at the telephone while tears coursed down her cheeks.

  People always said to be careful what you wished for, and now she knew they were right. She'd wanted a call from Gage and she'd had one. And look where it had left her.

  Devastated, that was where. There was no point in denying the truth anymore. Gage wanted this divorce, and quickly. As far as he was concerned, the sooner she was out of his life, the better.

  "Natalie?"

  Well, that was fine with her. The more things dragged on, the more confused she got. Why else would she have let herself imagine she still loved him, when she didn't?

  She didn’t. She didn't...

  "Nat?" Crista's voice floated towards her. "I'm home." Natalie dabbed at her eyes. "I'll be right there."

  "Nat, I have such great news ... " Crista flew into the room and flung her arms around Natalie. "Grant and I are together again!"

  Natalie's heart filled with bittersweet joy. "Oh, that's wonderful!"

  "I never expected to make a decision this quickly, but we've talked everything out, and I don't want to be without him another minute. And he surprised me with all these romantic plans. The Concorde, a weekend in Paris... Can you imagine?"

  "Umm."

  "We're flying back to New York by chartered ... Nat? Are you crying?"

  "Yes, of course." Natalie smiled through her tears and clasped Crista's hands. "I'm the biggest weeper in the world. Tell me something that makes me happy and I turn into Niagara Falls."

  . "Aren't you packed yet, darling?" Grant Landon said as he came into the room.

  Crista smiled and went into her husband's arms. The look that passed between them was so filled with love that it made Natalie feel like an intruder. She turned away and fought against the burning sensation behind her eyes.

  "I'll just go help Addie pack the babies' things ... "

  To her horror, her voice cracked. Crista looked around, stepped out of Grant's embrace and hurried towards her.

  "Natalie! I never meant- Oh, I'm the most selfish person ever! Here I am, going on and on about how happy I am, and all the while you-"

  "And all the while," Natalie said with a smile that stretched her lips, "I'm standing here and wondering, well, what's going to happen to Designs by Crista?"

  "Nat-"

  "Honestly. That's the only thought in my head." Natalie gave a laugh that sounded something like a nail drawn across a slate. "Well, that, and how much I'm going to miss you and the babies and the four-footed guys, but on top of all that I'm wondering, do I still have a job or don't I?"

  "Of course you do," Grant said. "Crista's explained how much this business means to the both of you."

  "That's right, Nat. I'll design in New York, but I want you to stay on here and manage the Palm Beach market."

  "The Palm Beach market," Natalie said, and bit back another manic laugh. "I'd love to. And I'll expand, just as you and I discussed. Boca Raton. Maybe Key West." She smiled brightly. "And Miami Beach."

  Crista grasped Natalie's hands. "Promise me you'll think about what we discussed, okay? About telling Gage the stuff you need to tell him?"

  Natalie nodded brightly. "Sure." "I mean it, Nat. You have to--"

  The shrieks and squalls of two irritable toddlers suddenly filled the air. Addie stepped into the foyer with the twins in her arms. Annie and Sweetness trailed after her.

  "Jennifer tripped," Addie said. "It's her feelings that are hurt, nothing else. And Jessamyn wants her teddy bear, but I can't find it."

  "Here," Grant said, "let me take Jennifer. Come to Daddy, sweetheart."

  "I'll find Jess's teddy," Crista said. "And where's the cat carrier? And Annie's lead?"

  "I'll get those," Natalie said, because rushing around was better than standing in the eye of the tornado, with time to think about how the world was being pulled right out from under your feet.

  Moments later, after hugs, kisses, and, at the very end, some tears, Natalie was alone.

  CHAPTER NINE

  THE big pink house had never been so silent, or felt so empty.

  Natalie stood at the living room 'window, lost in thought. A storm was blowing in. The wind-whipped ocean and the oncoming darkness seemed ominous. A flash of lightning lit up the horizon, followed by the dull peal of distant thunder. Wind whistled through the palm fronds and tore at the roof.

  Natalie shuddered, pulled the drapes closed and turned on the table lamps. It was as if the weather were trying to match her mood.

  There was no way to escape the storm but she certainly wasn't going to indulge in self-pity. There was no reason for it. Crista and the twins were gone, yes, but that was how it should be.

  The Landons were together again, and she was happy for them.

  "No point in moping," Natalie said briskly ... She slumped back against the wall.

  Who was she trying to convince? Her head drooped. She could feel lonely and miserable, if she wanted to. Well, she wanted to.

  And it was all Gage's fault.

  All these weeks, without a word from him. Then, suddenly, a phone call. A miserable phone call ...

  She'd been perfectly fine, until then. But after his call, she hadn't been able to get their conversation, Or the cool sound of his voice, out of her head.

  Crista had sensed that something was wrong.

  "Everything all right, Nat?" she'd kept asking as the Landon entourage darted around, packing.

  , "Fine," Natalie had replied.

  And she'd stood in the doorway, smiling and grinning until her lips hurt, waving until the Landon car was out of sight.

  Then she'd gone back into the house and things had been going downhill, ever since.

  Her footsteps had seemed to echo through the empty rooms, and then the wind had come up and .the sky had darkened and, after a while, reality had settled over her like a cloud.

  Natalie sighed.

  Of course, she was happy for Crista. It was just that it was impossible not to make the comparison between their two lives. Crista had a husband. She had none. Crista had children. She had none. Crista had a home, and a family, and even a dog and cat...

  And what did she have?

  "A career, selling jewellery," Natalie said into the silence. And, judging by Gage's phone call, a husband who just couldn't wait to sign his name to a divorce decree.

  Natalie frowned. So what? The divorce was what she wanted. It had been her idea, in the first place.

  Oh, she was behaving like an idiot.

  "An idiot," she mumbled, and she marched to
the sofa and started plumping the pillows with far more energy than they deserved.

  Her situation was completely different. She'd known that from the beginning. Crista and Grant had been trying to repair a damaged marriage, but her marriage wasn't damaged, it was dead. That was why she'd left Gage. As for being alone, well, what was so awful about that?