The Art of Me (The All of Me Book 1)

by S. J. Blaze

  While I’m busy typing as fast as my little fingers can muster, I see a shadow in my periphery walk through the door. I don’t have time for chit-chat. I’m trying to dig through the millions of emails patiently waiting my response. I keep going ignoring the intruder, when they clear their throat. Frustrated, I look up to find Coen.

  “Hi baby, I have some work to finish. Everything okay?” I continue clicking.

  “You were taking too long,” he says monotonously.

  “Sorry, I’m about a month behind and many of my cases are time sensitive. I’m going to be here a while longer, or maybe I can bring some of this home with me?” I don’t want to push too far but he has to understand that I have responsibilities. He may shirk his own but that won’t fly in my world.

  “Charlie, we’re leaving tomorrow for a week. What’s the point of catching up? Can’t you pass your files to someone else? We’ll be married soon and I need you with me as my wife.” Though I’m trying to ignore him, I can hear the pout in his voice. If this is what parenting is like, then I’m waiting another ten years to have kids.

  That’s when Tom walks by and spies Coen. I stiffen when he ambles his way into my office. “Mr. Collins, good to see you. Again, I’m so sorry for your loss.” Coen stands up and the two shake hands.

  “Good to see you, Tom. I’d like to return the thanks in letting me keep Charlie at home. You have no idea how vital she is to me.” Coen looks back to me then winks, as if I’m supposed to be ‘in’ on something. Uh, oh.

  “Of course.” Tom looks at me nervously but I shrug in response. I have no idea where Coen is going.

  “I’ll need more time with her. I hope that doesn’t present a problem.” Coen dominates Tom. Tom’s short bulky frame is nearly stifled with Coen’s immense presence.

  Tom flushes nervously and wipes his hands on his trousers. “Well, um, the truth is, we really do need Charlie in the office. We have many clients that specifically ask for her.”

  Still only a foot away from each other, Coen tsks loudly while crossing his arms over his long sleeved charcoal grey sweater. He’s an intimidating man and I can’t help but feel bad for poor Tom.

  Sadly, I move away from the substantial amount of work still calling me, and go stand next to Coen. I rub my hand up and down his back in an attempt to comfort him and calm him down. In response to my touch, he immediately relaxes and his arms go limp by his side.

  “I’ll need her longer. We plan on honeymooning soon and I’m afraid that I refuse to share her. It isn’t like she needs money; I assure you Tom. I plan on taking excellent care of my wife. Personally, I think the extra stress isn’t necessary and that her talents would be put to better use elsewhere.” He looks over at me and then kisses my brow. I’m getting upset. What is Coen getting at?

  “I must say, Coen, although I’m thrilled to hear of your union I do need to know if she can’t keep up with her caseloads. We’d need to find someone to replace her. Surely, a businessman such as yourself understands.”

  “Absolutely, thank you for understanding, Tom. We really appreciate it!” I stand there, dumbfounded.

  “Charlie, we’re really going to miss you but I can see you’re on to bigger and brighter things.” He pats my shoulder then walks out.

  My eyes widen fanatically. Coen reaches over shutting the door then plants himself in front of my desk. With arms crossed above his head and his legs crossed lazily, he looks relaxed. “Hurry up, love. We still have to pack before our plane takes off tomorrow morning.”

  “Did you…What did you do? What the fuck did you do? Holy shit, Coen! What the fuck?” I’m getting more frantic with each word that slips through my clenched teeth. How dare he interfere in my life?

  He casually stands up and walks towards me but I dodge when he tries to touch me. “Charlie, calm down. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Think about it. How could I have you representing my competitors in mergers? There would have been too much conflict of interest. You’re going to be my wife, love. My wife. A Collins can’t represent another company. You had to have known that.”

  I can’t even focus right now. My entire life I’ve worked towards one goal…to be a lawyer! I was a freak, a weirdo, the kid who never fit in. But it was all tolerable because I knew my end goal was within reach. I knew I could make a difference. And once things happened at UF, I learned there was a different way to do things. That it is who you know and how much you have in your bank account that really makes a difference. Innocence, guilt, they are sold to the highest bidder. I was just taking a detour, and now I’ve been completely derailed.

  The air has thinned and isn’t reaching my lungs. I can’t breathe. I grab my neck, trying to open the constricted airways. I reach over and nearly fall on my desk. With my hands outstretched clawing the edge, I tip my head down. Coen comes in behind me and makes wide circles on my back.

  “Love, everything is fine. If it’s about money, I’ll cover whatever you need.” My head jerks up so fast, I nearly head butt him.

  “Money…you think this is about fucking money? I don’t care about money!” I scream.

  “Shhhh.” He covers my mouth like a fucking child. I shove him away. “Love, you’ve got to calm down. Someone will hear you.”

  “I don’t fucking care!”

  Cupping my chin, he gazes longingly into my eyes. “Calm down, love.” His thumb moves back and forth while he leans down to rest his head against mine and continues in a soothing honey dripped voice. “I’ve got you, calm down. If you want to work with business, you can have any division of the company you want. I don’t fucking care as long as I get you to myself at the end of the day. You want to work on your pro bono cases, again, I don’t fucking care, as long as I have my wife when I need her.” His lips press gently to my forehead, then work their way down my nose, and finally to my lips. “I love you, Charlie. I’ll give you anything you want as long as I get you in return.”

  His soft kisses turn more eager and I’m suddenly hoisted onto my desk with his pelvis digging into me. Since I hadn’t prepared on today’s work visit, I’m still in my casual clothes of leggings and a big sweater. I’m reminded of this when I can feel him easily through my thin leggings as his thick fingers glide under my sweater to cup my breast roughly. “Tell me you love me and you’re not mad,” he growls as he bites my neck and his coarse beard scratches against me. What was he asking me, again?

  I push against him. “Coen, you can’t just jump in like that and switch my life around. We spoke about this. You swore you were done with the whole manipulate Charlie thing, remember?”

  He grabs his large, stiff cock and straightens his shoulders while rolling his neck. “Love, the opportunity presented itself. Obviously, it wasn’t premeditated. I was just getting anxious with you not at home and I had to stop by. Speaking of, let’s get going. We need to make up immediately and I know all the ways I can properly apologize.”

  Then, the stupid sexy beast licks his succulent lips. First the bottom, then the top, and so slowly, too. If the necking and kissing thing didn’t have me soaking my panties, then that look alone would have done it. Oh, goodness me. He must notice my change of mood because he grabs my hair and pulls my neck back while getting right into my face. “Or I could fuck you on your desk. Give the office gossips something really juicy to talk about?”

  His lips part and he keeps them just a millimeter away from mine. Eyes wide, moisture pooling in all the wrong and right places, I allow this man to take me to the dark side.

  Right there.

  On.

  My.

  Desk.

  He apologized three times. Job be damned.

  ******

  Coen flies us into Nassau, Bahamas, and then we take a short boat ride to a neighboring island. Although he doesn’t own it, it’s incredibly secluded. I know this because he repeatedly tells me so and suggests that I forsake all clothing for the majority of our visit.

  It ended up being the oddest Thanksgiving. We t
ook the boat into Nassau to find a grocery store with hopes of purchasing a turkey. Being an island, they eat mostly fresh seafood, so we become brave and forego tradition in order to create a new one. We end up at a little café and I try the fried grouper and grits while Coen gets more daring and tries iguana with a creole sauce and a johnnycake on the side. Coen laughs the entire time he eats it, and at one point tries to shove it down my throat. He even makes weird slithered tongue motions pretending to be the iguana. For dessert, we share a lovely fruit plate of papaya, melons, passion fruit, and mangoes and then top it off with the world’s tastiest rum cake. The cake is so intensely saturated with rum that Coen and I can barely walk out of the little outdoor café straight. We nearly fall countless times due to giggle pains alone.

  We end the night in each other’s arms on a blanket under the vast stars by the beach…until a horrid sound hits my ears and a putrid smell hits my nose. Then Coen moans miserably and runs faster than Flash Gordon. Apparently, Coen and iguana don’t see eye to eye. I roll over laughing, still high from my dessert. The thought of the iguana coming back to beat up my big guy has me laughing so relentlessly that I can’t stand up, and since Coen is, indisposed of, I keep rolling until the giggles melt away and drift into the night sky.

  A few days later, we board a yacht home. It wasn’t a Collins’ yacht, but it was astonishing. We spent most of our time wrapped in each other’s arms in our room. Coen decided that my freckles served as a hidden message meant for only him to decipher. Needless to say, he spent the first day trying to decode the meaning of the freckles and moles that destiny had left for him. He quickly gave up after I dismissed the bear he claimed was hidden on my back that he swore meant I was to bear him twenty kids.

  The following morning, I awoke to an empty bed. Panic immediately engulfed me and I started screaming for Coen. It wasn’t until a few minutes later, after I had thrown his large ugly Hawaiian shirt on, that I noticed a white envelope attached to a white rose on the side table.

  Charlie,

  Even with those bug-eyed glasses, you caught my attention. The first time I saw you, I knew it was too late for me. That destiny had brought me my future, and it was up to me to grab onto it with both hands and never, NEVER, let go!

  A question implies that there’s more than one answer and more than one solution. There isn’t in our case. I cannot ask. I need you too much. This last month has proven over and over again. Destiny never offered us a choice, but I assure you if she did, it would be you a trillion times over, my heart.

  Join me as we take the next step. We don’t need family or friends. Just the two of us. The world is waiting for you, love, and it begins with my heart.

  I have left something for you in the closet. I’m on the deck waiting my sweet love.

  Destiny’s gifted. Yours, Coen

  I clamber to the closet to see what was left for me. It’s a white dress. Holy shit, it’s a….wedding dress. Coen wants to get married. Like, right fucking now.

  My legs give out and I’m on the floor pulling my knees up. This isn’t a surprise as he has repeatedly mentioned that he wants to wed soon. I thought I had time, though. My mind is trying desperately to rationalize this, to bring sense into this chaotic storm that Coen continually produces. I spy my purse under the bed and crawl over to it. I try several times to get some cell phone reception, but in the middle of who knows where, there is none to be found and I can’t call anyone.

  Without a voice to connect to, I scroll through pictures of the guy’s Thanksgiving dinner that Gunner sent. To say it broke my heart would be an understatement. I don’t think I ever fully understood the word ‘family.’ Lines have been blurred so much this year that I question what the word even means anymore. But the trio is my connection and I’m not with them.

  I stare at a photo of Trigger shoving mashed potatoes up Bullet’s mouth and into his nose. He looks pissed, too. I can’t help the smile that crosses my lips when I look at how silly my gang is.

  After today, it will be different.

  Feeling slightly lost, I decide to write a pretend text to Bullet, since there’s no reception to fully send it. Maybe if I pretend a bit, I won’t feel this overwhelming sense of doom. I probably shouldn’t feel this way on my wedding day, even a surprise one.

  8:17 Charlie: Hi Bully, I hope you and the boys had a fantastic holiday. It sure looked like you did and that you had some pretty girls to feed you too. Well done! I’m sorry I never called. Coen took me to the Bahamas and we stayed on one of the Little Whale Cay islands. The phone reception was crap. And now I’m on a boat traveling back to Boston. I actually just woke up and…well, I guess I’m getting married. It’s a long story, but he’s waiting for me on the deck and there’s a pretty white dress in the closet and you know I never was the Barbie-type of girl, and had never planned a fancy white wedding with my dad giving me away. They already think we’re married so what’s the difference, right? I just wanted to hear your voice, but I can’t. I know you’re gonna be mad at me and I’m sorry. I hate that thought. I hate fighting with you and that’s all we really do anymore. I know things will be different. That they have been different ever since Coen’s dad passed, but I want you to know…that I love you…because I really truly do. Give extra hugs to Harley for me. Xoxo

  It’s not until a few teardrops land on my cell while I’m busy typing that I realize that I have been crying. Coen’s dad died less than four weeks ago. It will kill him if I don’t go up there.

  December 1st, 2015 is the new date that will change this Charlie forever. The day that I become Charlie Collins, assuming we fill out the proper documentation upon our return to Boston, otherwise, this is just ceremonial, I think.

  I quickly change, twist up my hair, and add a light coat of makeup. I’m not sure how one looks for their groom on a boat with nobody around but the whales and sharks. I opt out of shoes, as there’s no way I’m wearing heels on the deck while we are moving.

  Hesitantly, I climb the steps one at a time until I’m greeted with the salty air. The light is so shockingly bright that I shield my eyes. Then I see him. My beloved. He stands in the middle of the deck dressed in a linen button up with matching linen pants. His hair is a mess and his beard appears to be gone.

  Frozen to the spot, I stand there. As stunning as this man is, I’m terrified of what this will do to me, to us, to the trio. He must see something cross my face because his smile drops and he trots over quickly and cups my face.

  “Breathtaking, love. So fucking breathtaking.” His smile returns, prompting mine. “You got my note, what do you think?” I tilt my head back to look up at him.

  “Coen, I, ah…”

  “Look, I know this isn’t a big lavish affair. We can do that later if you want. We can do anything you want. Anything. I just thought, you told your mother we got married on a yacht in route to, or in our case from, the Bahamas.” He sighs and kisses me a few times on my forehead before running his nose against my cheek. “Please Charlie, I know it feels fast, but I need you. I need this.” A few more kisses and he straightens up and links our fingers together.

  Then we walk hand in hand to where the captain is waiting. We stand on a rug with flower petals strewn everywhere. A woman I’ve never seen, hands me a small bouquet of white roses. I hesitantly take them, thank her, and face Coen.

  The Captain begins his speech but I get lost in Coen’s icy eyes. They look clear and alive today. I can tell he’s truly happy and I want that for him. I want Coen to only feel this happiness and if I’m the one to give it to him, then all the better.

  His fingers reach out to skim my bare shoulder then slips down to cradle my hand. He repeats everything the Captain says while gazing into my eyes. I’m mesmerized by all I see there. As the words cross over his sumptuous lips, his eyes moisten. Then he dives into his pocket and pulls out a diamond encrusted rose gold ring to slip next to the monster diamond that he tricked me into wearing months ago. I guess this does feel like a long time coming fo
r him.

  The Captain turns to me and asks me to repeat the words. Without much thought, I do. I don’t focus on the words though, just on this magnificent creature that stands before me. Committing to me. Me. He has thrown me so far out of my comfort zone that I no longer know where I left it last. He has that effect on me. He wipes at his eyes a few times but never lets me go. I think I need him to hold on, too. Then we finish and the Captain tells me to get the ring. I look wide-eyed at Coen, brows raised in question. He dives into his other pocket and hands me his ring. I study it for a moment. Twisting it, I see the inscription; ‘It’s too late for us…C&C.’

  “It’s inscribed on yours, too, my love.” I nod and when the Captain tells me, I slide the ring onto my almost-husband’s finger. Shortly thereafter, he pronounces us husband and wife.

  I climb up on my tiptoes and angle my head as far back as I can. I feel the tears falling, but I don’t bother to wipe them.

  “Hi,” I whisper.

  “Hi,” he whispers back, smiling.

  “I love you.”

  His eyes well up. “I love you too, Charlie. So much. Thank you for becoming my wife.”

  “Thank you for loving me.”

  I crush my lips to his and he wraps his arms around my waist and picks me off of the ground. The next thing I realize, we are spinning and both of us are laughing. I kiss his sweet lips repeatedly, relishing in every crease. My husband. My fucking husband. Holy shit, I’m married!

  When he finally puts me down, I notice that all of our wedding ‘guests’ are gone leaving only the two of us on deck.

  “Where are we going? We’re at sea, so it can’t be far.”

  “Ah, Mrs. Collins, you underestimate your husband? So early in the marriage?”

  He smiles while peppering me with an obscene amount of kisses as he walks us back to our room. We stop in the living room area that has been set up with champagne and food for our mini reception. We eat, we drink, and then my husband spends the next two days of our journey consummating our marriage where he whisks me away to other worlds again and again.