Soulshine

by J W Rocque

  Michelle felt as though she were in a dream, where secrets unfolded in front of her as she lay there in a trance. Evan"s hands in her hair and tender kisses on her lips and neck helped calm the ecstasy of what she was experiencing inside her body. She felt lucky to share intimacy with a man who knew how to make love to a woman. And Michelle felt like a woman this day. As they climaxed together, they continued to kiss… and then each said „I love you" to the other… and they savored the moment.

  “I don"t even know what else to say,” said Michelle as she caught her breath. “Some girls at school have talked about it. And quite a few of them didn"t even like what they experienced. I knew that I would love it with you. Thanks for waiting for me.”

  “Michelle… sex is not something that ever needed to come as part of our friendship. But I will always enjoy it with you. I"m glad you loved it.”

  “You are so gentle, but you"ve lived practically forever. You must have had a lot of practice. The girls at school who didn"t like their experiencescomplained about it hurting.”

  Evan reflected. “To tell you the truth, I haven"t done this in a long, long time. And I have neverdone it so passionately.”

  “How long has it been?”

  Evan sighed and couldn"t help but smile as he thought about the answer. “I honestlydon"t remember the last time before this. The first few times, back in Greece… I guess people today would say „ancient Greece"… it was new and exciting to me. As time went by, I realized that it would never be special to me ever again until I met the one.”

  Michelle gave a gigantic smile. “Me.”

  Evan smiled right back as they lay facing each other. “Yes… you. One thing I know for certain… I have had no sex since I arrived in America. Neither had I in England or France, my last two countries of residence before coming to America. The problem with the male of the human species is that he generally doesn"t live long enough to come to the realization that the perfect one is worth waiting for. It"s a shame that all men don"t have twenty centuries to make a proper search.”

  “I still can"t believe you have lived that long.” Michelle stared into Evan"s gentle eyes as she kept thinking about Evan"s background. “So you havedone it in the past… and did you ever have any kids?”

  Evan closed his eyes in a pensive moment. Then he opened them and said, “After drinking the elixir, I really didn"t expect anything to happen. Sure, I wasn"t aging, but how would I know that for certain until enough years passed? Some people can go five years… even longer… without appearing to age. I never thought that producing an offspring that would age right past me before my very eyes could possibly… or would possibly… happen.” Evan paused. “But it did. That was probably another reason for me to abstain from sexual relationships.”

  Michelle"s eyes widened. “Why didn"t you give the child theelixir?”

  Evan bowed his head as he lay by Michelle. “Oh, I thought about it. But it wouldn"t have been fair to the boy"s mother. I also thought about splitting the remainder of the elixir between him and his mother.” Then Evan looked directly into Michelle"s beautiful green eyes. “But she wasn"t the one. I knew that. I knew that I had the possibility of living a very long time. At one point, the boy"s chronological age exceeded my biological age. I let his mother go so she could find someone to grow old and die with together. I insisted that the boy go with her. I watched from a distance and still remember the day he passed away. My heart nearly broke. I questioned why I ever took the elixir myself. I had really believed that the elixir would not work, but my participation would further science by helping the alchemist perfect his elixir. Little did I know that his elixir had already reached perfection.”

  Michelle listened intently and then the obvious thought hit her. “Evan… what if I get pregnant?”

  Evan drew her closer to him. “I don"t know. Can a baby age inside a body that does not age? You are not like my son"s mother, Michelle.”

  Michelle grew sad. “But I want to someday have a baby with you.”

  “If you are able to have a baby, and it happens, we will deal with it. The elixir is in your bloodstream as well as mine. I would expect it to also be in the baby"s bloodstream. Let"s not worry about a problem that may not be. The worst that can happen is that we always have each other.”

  “I want to havea baby.”

  “Sure, honey. We can try. And we can pray that everything will be fine.” Evan noticed Michelle"s fear. “Hey… have I told you that I love you?”

  Michelle gave a slightlyimpish grin. “Yes. I love you too.”

  December 13, 1983 “So you"ve actually loved him all these years, despite the things he withheld from you while drastically changing your life, not to mention your relationship with your family?”

  Michelle thought about each implication in her mother"s words. “Yes, Mom. I have nothing else to say about it. Evan always cared about my feelings. I liked him back when I was only twelve years old. That crush turned into love. We all do things for love, Mom. Please don"t question why I love Evan anymore.”

  Mary acquiesced. “Okay. I need to let your father know that I found you and what is going on. I"m going to the lobby to use the phone.”

  “How much are you going to tell him?”

  “Honey, he will want to see you when he finds out that I have found you. He will need to know everything before he sees how… young… you look.”

  Michelle dreaded the final obstacle she needed to hurdle concerning her family. “Mom?”

  “Yes?”

  “Tell him that I love him and I havemissed him.”

  Fr ank and Hugo entered Evan"s room. “Hello, Evan,” said Frank.

  Evan was trying to get some much needed rest after his exhausting conversation with Mary. He reluctantly opened his eyes to look at Frank. “Wow, two doctors on the case. It must be a tough one to crack.”

  “Actually, I"ve come to tell you that I just heard that you will be leaving us soon,” said Frank. “An ambulance from Fletcher University Hospital will be taking you to their facility tomorrow. They are very advanced in treating the type of injury you suffered. However, I must add that no facility is experienced in your rare case of physical decomposition.” Frank hesitated to give Evan time to absorb the information. “So how are you feeling today?”

  A few days ago, Evan lobbied for a quick discharge. Today he felt an intense need for honesty as the pain was only getting progressively worse. “Doc, this has been by far the worst day for me. I"m feeling a sharp pain shooting straight through my hip.”

  “Hmm,” said Frank as he walked around to Evan"s right side. “You seem to be losing more of your limb. Though we"ve never seen anything like this before and have no precedent to base anything on, it looks like it"s only a matter of a day or two before your body loss due to rapid deterioration includes not only your hip, but possibly some vital organs as it spreads even further. You are experiencing intense pain because the deterioration is now remarkably taking place in the area above the initial nerve damage. We will need to increase your meds.”

  Hugo was listening intently as his pager went off. “Pardon me,” he said. “I need to take a call at the desk. Frank, if there is anything you need, let me know, will you?”

  “Sure, Hugo. Go take your call.” Frank then went over to talk softly to Hugo in confidence.“There"s not much more we can do but keep him comfortable. I now fear that it"s only a matter of time. I only hope that the staff at Fletcher has an answer if they get him in time.”

  June, 1956 Jean Grady still h adn"t confided in Eric regarding her abusive past, but for a reason she could not pinpoint she felt more comfortable around Eric than with anyone else she had ever known. They had been friends for nearly three years and Jean kept wondering if Eric would want something more out of their relationship. Jean felt that she would never be able to take that next step.

  As they spent a day at Coney Island, a date they had planned for weeks, Jean felt that it was time to let Eric down gently. “Um… Eric?”r />
  “Yeah, Jean?”

  “I have to ask you something.”

  “Sure. Go ahead.”

  “Well, we"ve been seeing each other for almost three years

  now, and I don"t think it"s a good idea to keep doing that.” Eric nodded thoughtfully. “Mm -hmm… because you do not want to get serious.”

  Jean looked surprised that Eric finished her thought. She stopped walking and looked out over the water. Eric leaned over the rail and did his best to assure Jean without touching her. “Listen, Jean. You don"t need to give me the brush-off talk. I can tell that you don"t want anything serious. That"s okay. Neither do I. If I had, I would have either made a move by now or have stopped seeing you once I sensed you weren"t interested. Do you want to know a secret?”

  Jean didn"t know what to expect. “What?”

  “I"m not expecting a serious relationship either. I like having friends, but I have moved around a lot in my life, making it tough to keep friends. I enjoy being with you. You"re smart and easy to talk with. If you want to spend less time together, I can understand that. But I think that if we never see each other, then that would be a shame. I sense that you need to know that a man can be a friend, am I right?”

  Jean felt uncomfortable as she could only wonder what Eric figured out about her. Then she also wondered if there was a chance she could ever tell Eric her secrets. “Yes… yes, you"re right, smartie.”

  “Oh, I"m not thatsmart. I"ve met and known a lot of people, and you are not that difficult to read.”

  “So after three years together, you"re not looking for a long term commitment?”

  Eric smiled. “I have a long life ahead of me. I have a lot of passion that is waiting for the right woman at the right moment. Even if I ever thought that you could be the one, I would quickly dismiss that thought based on howyou feel.” Eric paused. “Jean, do you believe that we can just be friends?”

  Jean was speechless. She had made a habit all her life of dating a guy until he showed a deep interest, and then she would end the relationship. The fact that a guy could show a deep interest in her made her feel sexy. Ending the relationship then made her feel safe. Eric was a new breed of man as far as she was concerned. With him, she certainly felt safe, but she almost wished… no, she did wish that he made her feel sexy. That would give her a reason to justify ending the relationship.

  “Do you know what you need?” she finally asked to break the silence.

  “I couldn"t possibly imagine. Let"s see. I"ve got rhythm… I"ve got music… I"ve got… aha… my girl… that’s what I"m missing. I guess I couldask for something more. But I"ve got you… my friend.”

  Jean laughed. She was attracted toEric"s sense of humor and love for life. “What you need is a retreat.”

  “A retreat? As in a religious experience?”

  “Not religion. You need to find the Lord.”

  “Isn"t it easier for Him to find me? After all, he created me, didn"t he?”

  “I"m serious. There"s a retreat every year in the Poconos. A group of us go there. You should go with us in August.”

  “Jean, I commune with God through nature everywhere I go. And I"m not talking about trees. I commune with His creation of wonderful, diverse people every day.”

  “I just thought you"d get something out of hearing God"s word through some great teaching and then seeking Him for yourself.”

  “Jean, let me tell you something. My travels across this great Earth of ours haveshown me that man"s interpretation of what he thinks God thinks has caused most of the wars that have ever been fought.”

  “The only truth comes from the Bible.”

  “There is some truth in the Bible, but Jesus said a whole lot more that was never recorded. Look at all the laws in the Old Testament that were contradicted by what Jesus later said. Is God schizophrenic?”

  “Don"t confuse me. The whole Bible was inspired by God.”

  “It"s obvious that you don"t read Leviticus and Deuteronomy. There"s not much turning of the cheek in the Law of Moses. On the other hand, Jesus claimed that all the law involved loving God and loving others. Sometimes I wonder if one has to live hundreds of years just to understand that. A retreat won"t help me with that. I need to be around a more diverse set of people to even attempt to practice a principle like that.”

  Jean didn"t know what to reply. People who embraced Christianity while questioning strict adherence to the canon of scripture made her feel uncomfortable. “So I suppose a retreat is out of the question, huh?”

  Eric nodded. “It"s not for me. I do study the teachings of Christ though. Do I get points for that?”

  Jean felt a little embarrassed that she brought it up. “I"m sorry if I offended you. It"s just that I thought it would be something we could do together. You"re such a nice guy.”

  “No offense taken, Jean. It took me many years to understand enough about life where I could actually formulate a code to live by. Organized religion justleaves me cold.”

  Jean feltlike she was being taught by a kid. “It took you many years, huh? You"re still kind of young if you ask me. I"m the old lady in the relationship.”

  “Why do people get so hung up on how old they are, Jean? There"s so much beauty to discover in everyone. Some beauty only comes with age and life"s experiences. So you"re well into your thirties… big deal. I like you just the way you are.”

  “I like you too, Eric. I just think you"d be better off with someone your own age.”

  Eric laughed. “Why limit myself to such a restriction? To tell you the truth, I thought of you as a nice change. You know… I always was attracted to the older women. Then when I was out in the Midwest, I had a brief relationship with a young girl named Debbie. She was a lot of fun and I thought that was what I needed. But Debbie only wanted me to make love to her. I couldn"t do it. I can only make love to someone I am completely committed to. When I left the Midwest to come back to New York, I intended to lay back and just enjoy whatever relationships I find myself in. The young ones are fun but immature. The older ones are mature but lack spontaneity and innocence. You have a nice innocence about yourself. And you"re very attractive too.”

  Jean blushed the way she usually did when she became the topic of conversation. “I don"t really feel very attractive.”

  “Do you feel that way because someone once made you feel otherwise?”

  Jean got defensive. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, it"s obvious to me that you are attractive. And since I have confidence in myself to recognize beauty when I see it, my only logical conclusion is that you are the one in error.”

  Jean smiled and shook her head. “Mr. Townsend, you know just what to say, don"t you?”

  Eric felt a bit more optimistic that he might be able to break through the barrier to help Jean gain some self-confidence. Given Jean"s advanced age and his own perpetual youthful appearance, he felt that he only had a short window of time to do the good deed. It wasn"t as if he were lying. He did like Jean, and if she would only get enough self-confidence to stop feeling the need to fix everyone else, including him, he could love Jean. If she could overcome her past, Eric thought about the day he might complete her healing by providing her with countless years to recapture her lost youth. “So did I hit the nail on the head?”

  Jean got serious again. “I don"t want to talk about it.”

  “Fair enough, Jean. You"re not pushing the retreat idea on me, and I won"t push you to do anything you don"t want to do.” Eric"s thoughts got lost as he stared out over the water. Then he gathered himself and said, “But in the meantime, Jean, I"m happy to be your friend.”

  Mary and John Fleming were sitting in their living room on Grove Street in Riverside, Rhode Island. They were enjoying their new television set when John said to Mary, “My, she amuses herself so well, doesn"t she?”

  Mary looked at their little toddler and replied, “Yes. Michelle is a very content little girl. We"re lucky to have her. Just think, John. It won"t be l
ong before one day you will start screening her boyfriends.”

  John rolled his eyes. “Please, Mary. Don"t rush things. We"ll teach her well. She will only desire a man that will treat her right.”

  “Yes, dear. I"m sure you"ll never have anything to worry about with her.”

  December 13, 1983 Hugo Chan picked up the phone behind the nurses" station. “This is Dr. Chan.”

  The voice on the other end was familiar. “Hello, Dr. Chan. This is Brother Hawkings.”

  “Ah, yes… from the cloister. You inquired a couple of days ago about Evan Troy.”

  “Yes, yes. We were wondering how he is doing. We have done much praying on his behalf ever sincehearing about him.”

  Dr. Chan guarded his words. Evan had not mentioned any friends in a monastery. “I am not at liberty to divulge a patient"s condition with just anybody. Mr. Hawkings, are you a friend or relative of Mr. Troy?”

  “Well… no, I am neither. At least not in the secular sense of what the outside world calls a friend. Word traveled to our cloister that there is a young man in your care who is exhibiting a rare and dreadful condition of living decomposition, the process of decaying while yet alive. We have come across this phenomenon before and have managed to successfully treat such a catastrophic case to the point where we actually reversed the process. That is why I have called you a second time. We are curious as to your success up to this point. From what we have seen in two or three similar cases, time is of the utmost essence.”

  “You can successfully reverse… or cure… this condition?”

  “Most assuredly, but time is valuable despite our constant prayers. Prayer withoutaction is babbling, doctor.”