by J W Rocque
“You could. As I said… you already are soft-spoken and unassuming. Waiting for me outside the jazz club was rather spontaneous. Keep practicing those nice surprises while working on being more carefree, and you could have it.”
“What about age? That isn"t a qualification? I suspect that I"m almost twice your age… maybe I even amtwice your age.”
“Twice my age… same age… half my age… what does that matter? Only human beings are inhibited enough to believe that they must behave in a certain way.”
“Half your age would be obscene.”
“Soft-spoken, unassuming, carefree, spontaneous… okay, and mature. Meet those qualifications, and age does not matter.”
“So there"s really five qualifications.”
“And kind… make that six qualifications. See? I"m always refining my views. You should too.”
“I"m losing count.”
“Luckily for you, you possess the two added qualities. You still just need to become carefree while honing your spontaneity.”
“And you"re not the least bit interested in physical appearance?”
“Jean, if a girl has those six attributes, then she will have a smile and personality that causes her to be beautiful. So… odds are I will like the physical appearance. The outward is usually the manifestation of the inward. I imagine that the same would go for guys, eh?”
“Yes, Mr. Townsend,” said Jean with a grin. “It certainly does… and you have all of them.”
September, 1972 Evan and Michelle looked out over the shining Pacific Ocean from the docks in San Diego.“Well, what do you think? Shall we live in Hawaii for a while? I"ve never been there.”
Michelle looked at Evan in surprise. “Ooh… that sounds interesting. Do you think we can? I mean… don"t we need to get some jobs somewhere soon?”
“I"ve got enough money on me for us to take a nice long vacation. I think of this as our honeymoon, considering we cannot get married because most ministers require birth certificates before marrying people. What better honeymoon spot than Hawaii? Besides, it will help take your mind off the way we had to suddenly leave Riverside.”
“I tried to hide that.”
“I know… but there were moments when it showed.” Evan put his arms around Michelle"s waist. “You have been so wonderful… and you are so beautiful. Have I mentioned that lately?”
Michelle gave him her classic shy look. “Only a couple of timeson the trip. It"s nice to hear. And you"ve also been wonderful… and handsome.”
“Thanks. I don"t think you ever said that to me before… the handsome part.” Evan kissed her and then smiled. “Do you know why you"re so beautiful?”
Michelle, not knowingquite what to say, said, “…No, why?”
“You pass the soulshinetest.”
“What is a soulshinetest?”
Evan chuckled. “It"s actually something I came up with over thirteen years ago, when I was living in New York. Did you ever wonder what made a person beautiful… or handsome?”
Michelle thought about the question. “Not really. I always thought you were handsome. I think it was your eyes and your smile… your whole face.”
“Well, soulshine is my term for the six qualities that add up to beauty. No person can possess all six qualities and not be beautiful. It"s impossible. The reason your green eyes are so beautiful and your smile is so enticing is because you are… soft- spoken, mature, unassuming, carefree, kind and spontaneous. Your soul literally shines.” Evan paused. “That"s the only reason anyone should ever want to make love to another… because the other person just… soulshines.”
Michelle laughed. “That"s actually very nice. I like it. You have all those qualities too.”
“Let"s find a place to stay the night. I can"t wait to make love to my… bride.”
“Sounds good to me. I just thought of something about this soulshinething of yours.”
“What"s that?”
“Well, if someone has all those qualities, it doesn"t matter if they get old because their soul will always shine, right?”
“Hmm… I like that.”
“So how do we get to Hawaii?”
“Um… I didn"t know we decided on that yet. Is that what you would like?”
“It sounds exciting.”
“Well… I would prefer a cruise. I"m… rather scared of flying. I used to get seasick, but I kind of overcame that feeling years ago after traveling on boats across the Mediterranean and the Atlantic. But going inside a metal tube and hurtling across the sky… I would hate to crash down to Earth and end our eternal youth.”
Michelle thought about what Evan had said. “I guess it"s like that line from the song about Bobby McGee… freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose. We aren"t free as long as we have a lotto lose, are we?”
“I guess not. At least if an ocean liner"s engine stops, we don"t sink. If an airplane loses its engines…”
“I"ve never been on either, so either one is an adventure for me. A cruise sounds more romantic.”
“Yes… we can stand out on the deck and look at the moon every night, and… thanks for understanding my phobia.”
“No problem. I feel safer on the water too. I feel safe as long as I"m with you.” Michelle then got concerned. “Evan?”
“Yes, sweetie?”
“What happens if one of us ever gets killed? I mean… if it happens to me, you"re used to living a long time on your own. But if it happens to you… what would I do for the rest of time?”
Evan squeezed her tightly and, just before they embraced in a long kiss, said, “The best thing is not to even think about it… and stay out of airplanes. Why tempt fate?”
VII
December 14, 1983 Mary Fleming got out of the cab and hurried up the front walk to her Riverside home. She was somewhat relieved when she found the front door unlocked. “John! John! Oh, thank heavens you"re still here. I was afraid you were going to head to Canada and do something you"d regret.”
“Oh, I don"t think I could possibly do anything that I would ever regret, Mary. On the contrary, I couldn"t just up and leave without making arrangements at work first.”
“Wait a minute,” said Mary. “It"s Wednesday and late morning. Shouldn"t you beat work?”
“In the time of a family crisis, Mary?”
“Michelle"s fine, John. I rushed home to be with you. You sounded so upset on the phone.”
“Mary… if our Michelle still looks like she did at her graduation, then she is not fine. And if she has been kidnapped and told to never contact her parents… and she was always a good girl who would neverhave made that decision on her own… then she is notfine. Tell me, Mary… did she look like she had been beaten?”
“John… I told you… they"re in love. Regardless of whatever bad choices were made… the thing that concerns her most is Evan"s condition right now.”
“Maybe the old bastard is dead by now.”
“I don"t know. Michelle probably would have called to leave me a message if that were true. Come to think of it… they"re moving Evan today.”
“Really? Where?”
“A place called Fletcher University Hospital. Why are you suddenly so interested?”
“Because I want him prosecuted before he receives some miraculous healing he doesn"t deserve.”
“Yes, John… you have grounds.”
“You"re damn right. We can start with a charge for drugging a minor. Then we can add a kidnapping charge. Then we can fry him for being a freak and a predator.”
“You want to fry a dying man?”
“He ain"t dead yet. I have a gut feeling that the bastard can’t die.”
“What about considering our daughter’s feelings?”
“She"ll get over it… and then thank me for protecting her.”
“John… she always loved you despite your constant drinking and your attitude toward me. To tell you the truth, Michelle may have found truer love than Iever did.”
“How
can you say that, Mary?”
“John, she always made believe that her prince would come to marry her… ever since she was five years old. It was her escape from the reality of our home.”
“So do you think it was heridea to never call us?”
“John, I"m not saying it wasn"t a terrible idea to hide away from us for years… and I"m still angry with Evan for his part in all this… but for our own mental health and wellbeing, we"ve got to let go of the past.”
“You should have stayed with her, Mary. That way you would know where they"re heading off to next.”
“They"re staying in the Ottawa area, John. Evan is not going anywhere… on his own, anyway.”
“Good. He"ll make an easier target.”
“What are you saying? John!”
“The plans are already set in motion, Mary. By the way, thanks for filling me in on where he will be going next.”
“John, you cannot do something to him in a hospital.”
“Oh, no? I guess we"ll find out, won"t we?”
“John… I"ll call the Ottawa police if you go up there to cause trouble.”
“No, you won"t, Mary. I don"t think you want to put Michelle in the position of witnessing her father"s arrest.” John paused. “I"m just going up there to bring our little girl home. Hmmph, listen to me. I called her our little girl. I guess that"s all she"ll ever be, won"t she? I wonder if we can find a doctor to pump that crap out of her bloodstream.”
“John, whether you like it or not, Evan is her husband.”
“In the eyes of what church?”
“John, in the eyes of our daughter, they are committed to each other as a husband and wife. Can you promise me that you will respect their privacy and only go up there after Evan dies and only thenbring her home to us? I"ll go up there with you when that time comes.”
“You sound so certain that he is in factgoing to die.”
“I do, John. It"s not looking good at all.”
John thought about appeasing his wife to end the conversation. “Okay, Mary. How will we know when he is… officially dead?”
“I"ll call the hospital and ask Michelle to please call us so wewill know what"s going on. She confided in me when I went up there to see her. I"m sure she"ll do that for me.”
“Sure, Mary. You do that. I"ll be waiting.”
April, 1959 It was well after midnight as Eric started walking the fifteen blocks from Jean"s apartment to his. He could have called a taxi, but he needed to clear his head. It was now going on six years since he arrived in the city, the amount of time that usually would elapse before he would consider moving on. Sometimes, when he got very tired, his mind had the tendency to bounce around from one concern to another, and he normally would have been in bed for at least a couple of hours by now.
Okay, let’s go over things , he thought. More and more remarks are being made questioning my age. That may not be as bad as it usually is. After all, this is a big city with a lot of people, as an actor I’m always wearing a lot of makeup, and nobody is scrutinizing me that closely except for Bryan and Jean… and neither ofthem would care to have me investigated. Still, it can’t go on much longer… but could I trust either of them? I suppose the answer is ‘yes’, but what if someone ever pressured them for an explanation about me? Would they crack under pressure? It’s best not to chance it. I could tell Jean that I really am an angel, he chuckled. I could start graying my temples permanently, but I’ve been telling everyone at the theater that I darken my hair and put wrinkle cream on my face to maintain a consistent appearance for my roles. But I just told Jean that I exaggerated my age when I arrived six years ago.Aah… then how would I explain the sudden aging to her and the others?I stayed here so long that I’m getting my stories confused.
Even some businesses that typically remained open late were shutting off their lights as Eric walked by the storefronts. Being a thespian had its advantages, as people leaving bars and restaurants would recognize him without giving thought to his never-changing face. It is practically expected for actors to age slowly… enhanced by cosmetics of course. I love the theater. I suppose that has always been the best kind of place to hide and be accepted. If anyone asks me why I always look so young, I simply reply that only the make-up people know the real truth.
“Hey, buddy, can yaspare a buck?” Eric turned to see a ragged man in a doorway adjacent to a bar that had just closed for the night. “What do you need, pal?” “Uh… just a bite to eat.”
Eric knew by the pause in theman"s reply that he was
looking for something that would get him to the next open bar… if he could find one open. He had come across the same destructive behavior time and again in the big cities. Eric did not approve of people who would ignore beggars, but he also did not approve of people who would blindly give beggars money not knowing where it was going. “There"s an all-night diner open a couple of blocks awayin the direction I"m heading. Why don"t you walk with me and I"ll buy you a burger?”
“That"s okay, buddy. I don"t want to put ya to any trouble.
A buck would be fine if yahave it.” Eric put his hand on the beggar"s shoulder. “You need food, my friend, not more drink. I just want to make sure you get the nourishment. You either let me buyyou that burger… or it"s nothing. I hope you understand.”
“Thanks, buddy. You"re right. I"ll go with ya. Thanks for noticin", huh?”
“No problem at all, friend. I always feel better if I can give someone exactly what they need. I hope you don"t mind if I do some talking to myself while I sort things out in my mind.”
“Hey, mac, if ya got something troublin" ya, I"d be glad to lend an ear.”
October, 1972 “Oh Evan, I love it here. What island did you say we are on?”
“Maui. It"s not as big as the main island of Hawaii and not as busy tourist-wise as Oahu. I thought it perfect for some peace and quiet after weeks of train stations and a crowded cruise ship.”
“It is perfect. You seem to know an awful lot about Hawaii for having never been here before.”
“That"s what maps and tour books are for, sweetheart. I did a lot of reading back in San Diego.”
Michelle rolled onto her other side and faced Evan. Her right side had gotten enough ultra-violet rays from the tropical sun, and her fair milky skin was not accustomed to them. Evan kept a loose white shirt draped on his shoulders, as he always sheltered himself from intense heat. The cool ocean breeze felt refreshing, but it had a way of mentally minimizing the damaging effects of the sun.
“I guess that was a silly thing for me to say.”
Evan smiled as he looked at her cute face. Her short, wavy brown hair looked delightfully lighter in the warm sunlight. “No, it wasn"t. I did my reading while you were asleep back in the hotel.” He thought about how inviting she looked in her orange swimsuit and moved over to give her a kiss. Then he took a beach towel and draped it around her shoulders. “I don"t want you to get burned.” Then with the towel pulling her closer to his chest, they embraced while lying on their sides. “Happy honeymoon, my lovely Michelle.”
Michelle grinned from ear to ear. “I love you so much. I remember thinking once upon a time that you would never even like me.”
“Now what would have given you thatidea?”
Michelle shrugged. “I guess because I was so little… and you were… bigger.”
“You were going to say older.”
Michelle stared right into his eyes. “Mm-hmm. But I thought you were only six or sevenyears older.”
“Physically, I am. It never bothered me. Did it bother you?”
Michelle gently shook her head. “No, not at all. I knew that I had to let you know that I liked you back when I was twelve. I just didn"t expect you to feel the same.”
Evan kissed her again. “The funny thing is that if I happened to really be a nineteen year old American boy, I probably would have been programmed to give myself a million reasons why I wasn"t supposed to love you… when all along you wer
e the best girl I ever had the pleasure of meeting. Think about that, Michelle… the best.”
“You must have met someyou liked better.”
“Not one.”
“But what did I do for you? I gave you a birthday card?”
“You also went out of your way to make my day… over and over again. I couldn"t help but see your beautiful soul. You didn"t have a lot of money, so you gave me what you had… kindness… and a lovely smile. You were only twelve years old… and you gave me all you had. I would have even kept you at that age had I known you earlier… but thirteen turned out to be just as wonderful.”
Tears formed in Michelle"s eyes. “That"s beautiful, Evan. I really didn"t feel like I was giving you all I had.”
“And that is what makes it beautiful… and you beautiful. You were just being yourself with no pretension. It wasn"t just the card, Michelle. That was just the arrow that finally pierced the heart. I knew you were special way before that shot. You always wanted to talk with me while expecting nothing in return.”
“I never looked at it that way.”
“Of course not… and only an older and wiser man could possibly notice.”
Michelle felt so content hearing those words. She looked into Evan"s eyes and then looked skyward, expecting to wake from a dream. Then she looked back into his eyes. “Evan?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Did you ever think of making love to me when I was thirteen?”
“I thought about how nice it would be when you were yet twelve… so yes, I wanted to make love to you when you were thirteen.”
“Why didn"t you… try to ask me?”
“Let"s see. First of all, it is against the law. I see nothing good out of spending ten to twenty years in prison while everyone around me notices that I"m not getting any older. Secondly, I would never ask you to do something that I didn"t feel you were emotionally and intelligently ready to do. It wouldn"t have been right. The laws are there for a reason. Centuries ago, girls that age were getting married and conceiving children, but the modern world preserves innocence for as long as it can. I loved your sweet innocence and wouldn"t have dreamed about ruining that. Would you have even understood such a proposition?”
