by J W Rocque
“Probably not… but when we did make love for the first time, I didn"t look any different.”
“But your mind and emotions were different. I wanted you to ask me… and I have to admit, the day we did first make love, I was afraid that you would hate me.”
“When you told me that you were responsible for my problems at school…”
Now tears formed in Evan"s eyes. “I have a feeling that I am notdone apologizing for that.”
“I told you that I understand and I love my life with you. And what you said today makes me even more certain that everything is how it is supposed to be.”
“I know, I know. I just have a feeling that I will someday need to apologize to someone… like your parents, maybe.”
“I would like to send them a card. I wish we could have a wedding and invite them.”
“I wish I could proclaim to the whole world how much I love you too… but I don"t think I would trade what we have for a mortal life with you. The thought of being with you forever is much more appealing.” Evan ran his fingers through her hair. “You know, Michelle… after making acquaintances for many years now under the same name, I should be about ready to assume a new identity. That may be something else you may need to get used to doing… to avoid having people finding us who knew us many years before, of course.”
“What do you mean? You haven"t always been Evan Troy?”
Evan laughed. “There weren"t any Evans in ancient Greece. I"ve been Evan Troy for about ten years now. Only those I met since arriving in Riverside really know me by that name, but… if your parents ever decide to track us down…”
“I don"t want you to change your name. I fell in love with a guy named Evan, not a guy named… Harry.”
“Oooh… I don"t think I would ever choose thatname… though in England, I did go by the name of Eustace Tewksbury once.”
“Eustace Tewksbury?”
“Eustace was a rather popular name at one time in England. It didn"t really make me stick out from the crowd.”
“Tell me your other names.”
“Oh, I couldn"t possibly tell you all of them… or even remember all of them.”
“I always want to call you Evan. I love that name. I want to be Michelle Troy.”
“Hmm… Michelle Troy. I don"t know. It"s not like Troy is my birth name. Evan isn"t even my birth name. Michelle Fleming is yourname… and you want to know something? It would be a shame to ever change it.”
“I"ll keep my name if you keep yours.”
“Deal. I remember when I first settled in Riverside. The radio was playing „Michelle". The lyrics fit you perfectly… „Michelle, ma belle, these are words that go together well". And then I met you. You can"t possibly be called another name. We"ll just have to move around frequently, look for opportunities to do good deeds for others… but beware of making any close friends.”
Michelle closed her eyes as she nestled her head in the crook of Evan"s shoulder. “That sounds good to me as long as we"re together.”
December 14, 1983 Michel le tentatively poked her head inside Evan"s hospital room. He was visibly looking worse and she had a hard time coping with such an unpleasant sight. She kept reminding herself that the university hospital may be their salvation, and that gave her hope to walk in the room and attempt to cheer Evan.
“Hey there, handsome.” Evan was pleased to see her after a restless sleep of nightmares. “Handsome? I feel like life is being sapped from me.”
“You"ll be fine. I know it. Wait until that other hospital takes care of you. They"re supposed to be better equipped.”
“Then why are they waiting an extra day to come and get me?”
“I… don"t know. Maybe that"s a good sign that they are not in a big hurry to transfer you. Maybe you"re getting better?”
Evan winced. “No way. I"m beginning to realize what dying feels like.”
“Please don"t say that… at least in front of me,” begged Michelle. “I don"t want to lose you. You need to fight those thoughts and don’t give up.”
“I"m sorry, love,” said Evan as he tried his best to conceal a shooting pain above his pelvis. “Could you… see if someone can give you a cup of water for me? I"m getting very dry.”
“Sure, sweetheart,” said Michelle as she exited the room. As she entered the hall, she noticed an older lady who appeared to be in her midsixties. “Excuse me… ma"am?”
The lady turned to her. “Yes, child?”
As often as Michelle had been called that, she still disliked it but did not dare show it. “I was wondering if you could get me a cup of water?”
“For you, honey?”
“No, it"s actually for my… friend in intensive care unit five.”
“Mr. Troy?”
“Yes… are you his nurse today?”
“Why… I"m not a nurse. I just volunteer here. It"s… so bad about your friend.” The lady looked around, expecting to see at least oneadult with Michelle. ”So… how are you… friends with the patient?”
Michelle could not pretend, especially since the doctors, a couple of nurses and the hospital administrator all knew that she was as good as Evan"s wife. “I"m… his girlfriend. We"ve been together… a long time.”
The lady was taken aback. “Really? I thought I heard that only close family membersare allowed to see him?”
“We"re practically married, ma"am.”
The lady shook her head. “You"re a child, aren"t you?”
“Not really. I"m older than I look.”
The lady mustered a smile and then said in a low tone, “I was hoping that I could visit with him. I"m very good with patients who are very ill, and I hear that Mr. Troy is not doing well.”
“That"s not for me to give permission. You can ask the nurse… but Evan doesn"t know you, so why do you think you can help him?”
“I suppose. Why don"t you go on in there with your friend while I get that cup of water and bring it in to you?”
“I can wait here for the water. He"s really not up to having visitors rightnow.”
“I understand. Besides, he has some nice company in you if he needs it.Well… if you need to leave, let him know that I"m available if he needs anything or would like a visitor.”
“He really needs the water now, if you please.”
“Yes… certainly.” The lady went to the nurses" kitchen and returned with the water. “Here you are. You know… I had heard some nurses talking about Mr. Troy. They were saying that theydidn"t know much about him. How old is the dear fellow?”
Michelle was getting uncomfortable, and tried to recall what Evan had told the doctors just in case the old lady was trying to trick her. He said he was around myage, didn’t he? “He"s… twenty-nine.”
“I"m sorry if I"m sounding nosy. When I walked by his room earlier, he reminded me of someone I knew in my younger days… someone that I always suspected was keeping secrets.” She bent down to the level of Michelle"s ear. “I think he may have been lying about his age… you know what I mean?”
Michelle wanted to end the conversation. “No… I don"t know what you mean. I don"t know anyone who lies about their age. Thanks for the water. I should be getting it to him.”
“Yes, you do that. He"s lucky to have you taking care of him, sweetie.”
April, 1959 “So… I didn"t catch your name?”
“You can call me Andy.”
“Andy,” said Eric as they waited for their order, a burger
and coffee for Andy and just a cup of tea for Eric.“How long have you lived in New York?” “Hmmph… all of my life, buddy. My fath er used ta have some dough, but he lost it all in the depression. So we grew up poor with nothin".”
“You can call me Eric.”
“Okay, Eric.”
“I can understand why you turned to the bottle long ago,
but it doesn"t make anything better. In fact, it makes everything worse, Andy.” “Don"t I know it?” The waitress brought their order and placed it on the tab
le. “Hey, that ain"t all you"re havin", is it?”
“Oh yes, just the tea is fine for me. I ate earlier tonight and just had some homemade cookies before starting for home. Then I met you.”
“Homemade cookies? Sounds like ya got a little lady takin" care of ya.”
“She"s a good friend. I"ve known her for six years and this is the first time she ever made cookies for me.”
“My lady gave up on me. Hah. Who could blame „er?”
“I"m telling you, Andy. You take care of yourself and people will stick by you. Are you Christian?”
“I don"t ever think much about it. You?”
“I like to think I am, if being Christian means doing one"s best to live by the words of Christ.”
“I don"t read much. I remember going to church with my folks when I was a kid. My old man didn"t like going much. My old lady was the one who insisted on it.”
“Well, I didn"t know Jesus personally, but I doubt if he would consider going to church as the litmus test of being Christian.”
“Then I guess there"s hope for me, huh?” laughed Andy gruffly.
“Getting back to what I was saying about taking care of yourself… Jesus taught that we should love others as much as ourselves, so it naturally assumes that we already must love ourselves. Love is doing good deedswhile doing no harm. I"ll be glad to help you, Andy, but you need to do your part.”
“How ya gonna do that, Eric?”
“By being your friend and encouraging you. Look… I"ve been making enough at the theater to be able to afford my own apartment. Why don"t I get one and have you stay with me while you get on your feet?”
“You"d do that?”
“On the condition that you listen to me regarding taking care of your health so you can get a job.”
“Where ya livin" now?”
“I"m staying with a friend who allowed me to share expenses with him. I think he can handle it on his own now. I"m ready for a change.” Eric knew that the charade of telling Bryan that he was thirty almost six years earlier would just cause more questions and complications, especially with Jean. And Jean was not ready for him to share either his secret or his entire life with her. With Bryan out of town, he could easily move on without having to leave a forwarding address. It’s a good thing I travel light and the money in the duffel bag doesn’t weigh a lot.
November, 1972 Evan was busy packing. The three month honeymoon, culminating with a blissful month in Maui, seemed surreal to both him and Michelle. But as all good things eventually come to an end, they both needed to get back to the mainland for two reasons… to be able to settle down for years at a time between the periodic moving their lives would experience, and eventually to find some work to circulate once again the money flow. Besides, thought Evan, we’ll have plenty of years together to return to Hawaii again and again as a remembrance of our honeymoon. The lack of a formal wedding did nothing to diminish their time together to anything less than a real honeymoon.
“Whoa… what"s this?” said Evan as Michelle peeked around the wall that separated the living area from the bedroom of their suite. “Aw, this is great! I love it!” he laughed. “How wonderfully appropriate!”
“What is it, love?” a sked Michelle impishly.
“Don"t play innocent. You know what I found. Come here.” Michelle was already behind him as he turned and playfully wrestled her to the bed.
“Oh, look. Did someone give you a birthday card? With a personal handwritten note inside it? I guess you have an admirer.”
“Yeah… a real cute one at that. I suppose that now I have to kiss my admirer,” he said as he pressed his lips on hers.
“I never saw anyone get so excited about a card.”
Evan smiled. “It was your first token of friendship to me six years ago, and you always remember to keep the tradition going. I didn"t think you would have the opportunity this year.”
“It wasn"t easy getting away from you long enough to go to the store in the hotel lobby.”
“You"re lovely.”
Michelle grinned. “I just love you.”
“I hate to leave the islands, but I am excited about our next adventure.”
“What will that be?” asked Michelle as her eyes widened.
“Hmmm… we need to discuss that together. We could go back to the States… then again, we could go in an entirely different direction. How do you feel about South America or maybe Japan?”
Michelle quieted.
“Or… maybe the States is the best option for now,” offered Evan.
“I think that would be best. I"m still new at this traveling thing. The thought of going to a foreign country for a long period of time scares me. Besides… my mom and dad…”
“I understand. Even though it"s best that we keep our distance, it would be disconcerting for you to stay very far away.”
“Thanks for understanding. I love you.”
“I love you, too. You"ve let go of a lot of comfort and security for me. I hope that I can give you the same.”
“You do. I felt so safe at the train station with you when those guys gave me a hard time. Then I felt safe as we traveled all the way across the country and across the ocean to Hawaii. I"m not only just as secure with you as I was with my family back home, I"m also happier than I ever was back home.”
“Yet you were still happy back home, and I am glad you have some good memories. We"ll have many, many years to see a lot of the world. And when we visit Japan, it will be a first for me too. We"ll experience it together for the first time.”
“What about South America? Have you been there?”
Evan shook his head. “ButI"ve wanted to visit Brazil… maybe Peru. I learned a bit of Portuguese and Spanish in the Old World.”
“Are there other placesyou would like to go that you"ve never been?”
“Australia comes to mind. I"ve always wanted to go there and stayfor a few years.”
“I"m glad that we will be able to go places that neither of us has been. I want to experience things with you that are new for both of us.”
“We will. Contrary to the saying, it"s a big world, not a small one. I look forward to seeing new places and also showing you all the places I lived in when I was bouncing around all over Europe.” A thought struck Evan as he recalled his past life. “I can take you to Greece… right to the area where I was born. You"ll love Greece. I would always go back there every few hundred years… which is why I understand your need to never stay away very long from your familiar surroundings. Did you know that Rhode Island was named after a Greek Island because the island that Newport and Middletown are on resembled the Isle of Rhodes?”
“No… so do you think we will go back to Riverside while my parents are still alive?”
Evan hesitated.“I"m sorry. You know the risks. We can"t guarantee that your parents will welcome us… and what I did… with open arms. If they ever blow the whistle and the authorities demand to see my identification… but we can get within a couple of hundred miles or so… as long as we know nobody where we settle down and we don"t stay for more than a few years in any one place at a time.”
“So how will that help?”
“It doesn"t… much. But we may be able to drive by and observe from time to time… as long as we"re not noticed.”
“But you don"t drive. You can"t even get a license.”
“But you’ll be able to.We"ll get you some driving lessons and then I can get you a car for yourbirthday.”
VIII
December 14, 1983 “Excuse me, honey. Are you Michelle?” Michelle turned to see the old lady standing in the doorway to Evan"s room. She did not appreciate the interruption, especially given that her time remaining with Evan could be very short.
“Yes… that"s my name. How did you know?” “I didn"t. There"s a lady on the phone asking for you. I took a chance that it might be you.”
Michelle turned back to look at Evan, who was sound asleep. “Well… Evan"s asleep. I suppose I ca
n take the call. Where is it?”
“Right at the nurses" station.” As Michelle walked out the doorway, the old lady peered around the screen partition at the side ofEvan"s bed. She wanted to get a look at him, but his face was turned in the other direction.
“Oh… hi Mom. It"s nice to hear from you again so soon. Did you make it home safe?”
“Yes, dear, I did,” said Mary. “How areyou… and Evan?” “I"m hanging in there. It"s hard for me to watch Evan
just… fade in and out. I just wish that they were still coming to move him today.There doesn"t seem to be anything they can do for him here.”
“What do you mean? That… university hospital isn"t coming to get him?”
“Not today. They"re coming tomorrow instead. Oh, Mom, don"t they know how important this is? I don"t know why they don"t seem to care.”
“You just make sure you get plenty of rest tonight, sweetheart. They must know what they"re doing. Don"t you worry. Listen… I told your dad that I would call you and ask you to keep us posted of everything. Will you do that please, darling?”
“Of course, Mom, but… Daddy"s not angry anymore?”
“I… think I got him to calm down, sweetheart. He really does love you as much as I do, you know.”
“Yes, I know. I was just never comfortable around him, especially when he would yell at you for nothing.”
Mary couldn"t deny itor defend John. “Evan"s not like that, is he?”
“Never. He"s been wonderful. I couldn"t have found anyone better for me.”
Mary fought to hold back her tears. “I can believe it, especially after I railed into him and he didn"t return the ill feelings to me. I still think of him as a… young man.”
“You were going to say „nice young man",weren"t you? That"s what you used to call him when I first told you that I liked him when I was twelve.”
Mary hesitated. “Yes… that"s what I was going to say. I have to keep reminding myself that, aside from submitting you to that chemical concoction and taking you away without our consent… he hasbeen good to you. I"m trying to convince your dad of that now. Speaking of your dad, I better get back to him and fill him in on everything. Bye, honey.”
