by Abigail Agar
“If you can’t find him at either place, and you’ve waited to make sure you haven’t missed him, then come home. If you do find him, give him this letter,” Phin held it up, “then come home. Do not lose the letter, okay?”
Robbie nodded.
Phin took the money off Everett’s desk and handed it to Robbie one coin at a time. “This,” Phin said, holding up a coin, “will buy you passage on a boat to Calais. This,” Phin put another coin in Robbie’s hand, “will pay for some food when you land in Calais. This will buy you a ticket on a mail coach to Paris. I’m giving you exactly the same amount to get back, the mail coach, food and Calais and boat to London docks.”
Stevens knocked. Phin waved him in and took the dinner napkin, full of food. He thanked Stevens and went on.
“Now,” Phin said putting four more coins in Robbie’s hands, “for eating in Paris and lastly,” Phin put one more coin in Robbie’s hand, “is for the cost of sleeping in the stables overnight. Do not spend the money on anything else or you will be stuck in France with no way home. And stay away from women who want you to pay for sexual favours. They all have diseases that are spread to you, and I would hate if something of yours, something you’re very, very attached to, ended up falling off.” Robbie’s eyes widened, and he nodded again.
Phin handed him the napkin of food. “Here. Any questions?”
Robbie shook his head no.
“Take out only one coin at a time, or someone will see how much you carry and rob you, okay?”
Robbie nodded.
Phin slapped him on the back. “Good man. Now be gone with you.”
Robbie left, and Everett drawled, “My money’s on him not making it to Calais.”
Phin smiled. “He’ll make it to Paris. Will he make it to either of those addresses? Who knows?”
Chapter 31
Phin and Everett were so busy over the next few weeks, no one saw much of them. Mercy and Silas were planning the wedding while Marielle volunteered to sew Mercy a new dress. It kept Marielle busy, something she needed while Silas was so busy.
Marielle was thrilled with her suite of rooms. Silas promised as soon as the wedding was over, they would look for space for her business.
The servants adored her. With Mercy about to leave, they were happy to have someone else to dote on.
Phin and Everett cleared up most of their business in time for the wedding. Everett took Phin’s advice and planned a few days in Burgundy, but Everett was most excited to go to Bordeaux.
He and Mercy agreed to open the warehouse for their fabric import business while they were in Paris. On Marielle’s advice, he hired a man she knew and could vouch for. Phin said he’d go over in a fortnight to check on it.
Mercy had started to move her things to Everett’s townhouse, which Josie helped to organize. The whole family pulled together.
Silas was Silas. He dragged Marielle to Collinswood and spent the rest of his time there, not planning to return to London until after the wedding. Marielle continued to sew Mercy’s dress. She looked up at her husband with adoration. Everyone saw it, shrugged, then went about their business.
During this busy time, Phin would sometimes think of Charlotte. He knew he would see her at the wedding. Would she speak to him? Was she still the most beautiful woman he had ever known? Would she be the life of the party?
He decided not to call on her prior to the wedding. He didn’t want to be sent away. At the wedding, she would feel obliged to speak to him in a public setting.
***
“Silas, we have another guest attending the wedding. Will that throw you off much?” John asked.
Silas swatted his hand in the air. “One more won’t cause a problem. We have the room?”
John nodded, and Silas said, “So who is this person, and why is he last-minute?”
John looked around then got up and shut the parlour door. “During the Dukes meeting, Jamison Sanders showed interest in attending.”
“Winslow?”
“Yes. He showed interest in Charlotte. He asked me for an invite.”
“Well, well. He must have an interest if he went to all the trouble of seeking an invitation. Tell me more, John.”
“He’s the right age; he has a townhouse in London and an estate near Winslow. His estate is well funded, so he isn’t looking for a bailout by way of a dowry. I think he’s just ready to marry and produce an heir. His father died recently – maybe some time in the last three years. It’s time.
“He seems to be by the book. I have no doubt that he would have success on the marriage mart if he and Charlotte weren’t suited. Genevieve tells me he is handsome. I have no way of drawing that conclusion.”
Silas grinned, “And you think if Phin sees Sanders buzzing around Charlotte . . .”
“Exactly.”
“Well, fear not, John. We can certainly accommodate one more.”
John laughed, “Thanks, Silas. By the way, you’re a lucky man. Marielle is very special.”
“I know. It took me longer to convince her to marry me than it took to know I wanted her to marry me.”
***
Most guests had arrived and settled in three days before the wedding. Silas had plenty for them all to do while they waited.
Phin had just arrived. Silas took one look at him and remarked, “You don’t have your happy face on. Would you like to run upstairs to retrieve it?” Phin was not amused.
“Where’s Marielle?” he asked.
Silas grinned. “She’s mine.”
Phin grinned back. “I saw her first.”
“She’s in the garden. Our sister is going to look so beautiful at the wedding. Marielle worked magic.”
“I have no doubt. Is Mercy happy?”
“Ecstatic.”
“All that matters.” Phin nodded and headed to the garden.
He saw her from behind and smiled. “Marielle,” he called.
She turned. “Phin.” She took his hands in hers. “Isn’t this lovely?”
“Yes, it is. I have heard Mercy’s wedding dress is lovely.”
Marielle sighed. “I enjoyed making it so much. I hope she is happy with it. I had more fabrics and colours to work with. It was fun.”
He looked her in the eyes and tried to keep a straight face, “How is marriage to my brother? Do you wonder what you got yourself into?”
While Phin and Marielle were talking, they occasionally heard feet crunching the shells on one path or another. Both ignored it, not wanting to include anyone else in their conversation.
She smiled, “Not at all. I don’t know why it took so long for me to say yes.”
Phin laughed, “It took you fifteen minutes, Marielle.”
“You see what I mean?”
Phin laughed loud at Marielle. She was so charming.
***
Charlotte was walking along a path in the garden, alone. It was hard for her to be swept up in the gaiety for the event, so she ducked out for some air.
She was worried about seeing Phin again and didn’t know how to act; she didn’t know how he would act. If he ignored her, she didn’t know what she would do.
She was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of laughter. Phin’s laughter. He was up ahead on a different path. With trepidation, she moved forward.
“Now that Silas and I are married and Mercy and Everett will be married soon, what will you do?”
Phin thought about it for a moment, “Why do I need to do anything, Marielle?”
Charlotte froze. They were talking about Phin getting married. She should leave. She shouldn’t listen.
“Silas told me there was once somebody. Is that why you hesitate?”
Phin blew out a deep breath, “It ended badly. I can’t go through another experience like that right now. Maybe after a few years when it doesn’t sting so much.”
Charlotte hung her head, silent tears falling. She had hurt him. What delusion was she under that he would walk into the wedding, see her, and f
all back into her arms? Charlotte, you fool.
“Phin, I wish I could make the hurt go away.”
“Have I told you in the last five minutes that Silas is lucky to have you?”
Marielle laughed softly, “I don’t mind hearing it again.”
“Come on; let’s go before Silas catches us alone together in the garden.”
Charlotte heard Phin and Marielle’s feet retreating. She stood in the middle of the garden in shock. She did this. She refused to see him; she refused his letters, and she refused his flowers.
She was trying to protect him from the pain she felt – if she didn’t see him, it would be less painful for him. She thought she was doing the right thing.
But she hurt him, deeply. He didn’t sound happy. His voice sounded flat, expressionless. She did this.
Chapter 32
Phin bowed. “Lady Genevieve, Lady Charlotte.”
The ladies curtsied. “John tells me you have been guests of his for a few months. Are you enjoying your stay?”
“Very much, Your Grace. We love John’s family, don’t we Charlotte?”
“Yes,” Charlotte said looking up at Phin, “we’ve enjoyed their company.”
Phin paused, an uncomfortable lull. He turned to Charlotte, “May I have the first waltz, Lady Charlotte?”
Charlotte smiled a broad, genuine smile. “Yes, thank you.”
Phin bowed, “Ladies,” and left.
Charlotte turned to her aunt, “He was stiff.”
“He asked you to dance.”
Charlotte touched her forehead with her fingers, “He was cold.”
“He asked you to dance.”
Jamison Sanders came and asked Charlotte to dance. On the dance floor, Charlotte found Jamison to be an excellent dancer and an accomplished conversationalist. She looked at him. He was very handsome, and his evening clothes were perfection. There was absolutely nothing wrong with this man. He was as close to perfect as she would ever find.
But he didn’t interest her. Charlotte didn’t feel the zap she felt with Phin. That special something only Phin had. She knew she should be enjoying his company, but she didn’t enjoy it at all. An alarming thought came to her. What if she needed to start over, and she could never find anyone else as interesting as Phin?
Phin danced with Marielle and Mercy. Both were buoyant, and he was swept along with them.
Charlotte noticed his broad smile when he danced with his sister. Phin used to smile at her that way.
John went over to stand near Genevieve. They danced a few dances together but mostly watched Charlotte. While on the dance floor, out of Charlotte’s earshot, John and Genevieve discussed Phin’s visit. John agreed with Genevieve. The dance would be interesting.
At last, it was time for the waltz. Phin and Charlotte began the dance as they always had – as if they belonged together.
“Tell me, Charlotte. Is John’s niece about your same age?”
Charlotte was thrown off by the question. “Yes, Molly’s less than a year younger than me. I’ve spent most of my time here with her.”
Phin’s tone seemed very distant to Charlotte. “Is there much to do around John’s estate? I’m not familiar with this area.”
Charlotte was beginning to think she was going to have a conversation two strangers might have. “We managed to keep busy, but it’s a far cry from the swirl of activity in London. I hear you’ve been recently in France. Did you enjoy your stay?”
“I did. I met Marielle while there, and she helped fill my time when I had an odd day off. Silas visited me and fell in love with her. He proposed not two hours after meeting her. She said yes in the middle of an argument they were having. Silas is over the moon happy.
“And you, Your Grace?”
Phin looked confused, “Pardon?”
“Are you over the moon happy?”
Phin grimaced, “I think it’s best if we stay away from that subject. Tell me, how is your aunt? John seems to be showing a great deal of interest in her.”
Charlotte gave a small smile. “They are very happy. Aunt Genevieve has hinted that once I’m settled, she and John will be together. I tell her not to bother waiting for me to settle. It could be a very long time.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Charlotte. You have an outgoing personality, you’re kind, and you’re beautiful. Someone may come along and sweep you off your feet. It looks as though Jamison Sanders is interested in you. I don’t know him well, but what I know of him points to a kind and decent man. According to my sister, he’s quite the catch.”
Charlotte hesitated a moment. “The only one I want to sweep me off my feet is you. I’m so very sorry for what I did, and I know I will pay for it the rest of my life, as I should. But to have your forgiveness would mean everything to me.”
“The waltz has ended. Thank you for the dance and the pleasure of your company.” When they reached the side of the ballroom, Phin bowed to Aunt Genevieve and Charlotte then walked away.
***
Everett was sitting alone at the head table.
“How did it go?”
Phin shook his head angrily. “Horrendous.”
“Good? Did you talk about anything important?”
“Ha. Important? She asked me if I am happy. She asked me to forgive her because she was wrong. I aired all my messy life once with Bennett’s journal; I’m not going to do it again with her.”
Everett leaned back in his chair, “So you tell her it’s too raw now, but you can talk about it later.”
Phin gave him a hard look. “You listening? I don’t want her to talk about it. Ever.”
Everett closed his eyes. His lips were counting to ten. “You can’t resolve anything if you don’t talk about it.”
“Who says I want to resolve anything?”
“Hey, let’s go off-topic. What do you know about Jamison Sanders, Duke of Winslow? I met him for the first time at the Duke’s meeting. Mercy tells me he’s in the market for a wife. With all the sniffing he’s doing around Charlotte, I can see where it makes a lot of sense. Are you at all concerned with his attentions towards her?”
“Not at all. They would make a good couple. The few times I’ve met him, I’ve enjoyed his company except for a sister of his. She’s married to some royalty ten times removed. I’m surprised he didn’t mention it ad-nauseam.”
Everett sighed. “No, he was too busy following Charlotte around like a puppy dog and chasing skirts. The only woman exempt from his attention was Aunt Genevieve.”
“Lucky her.”
“Why doesn’t it concern you? You can stand by and watch the woman you love get courted by another man?”
“If I let it bother me, then I am setting myself up to be hurt again. I can’t keep begging her to see me. I can’t go through that ever again. I never thought I would feel no jealousy when Charlotte danced in another man’s arms. But I don’t. I don’t feel anything.”
“That’s not good, Phin. What if you came out of this trance gripping you and your feelings for Charlotte come roaring back. Then what do you do?”
Phin shrugged. “She’s either available at that time, or she isn’t. I can’t put her in the basement until I figure out what to do about her. I’m just not ready. I don’t know if or when I might be. She shouldn’t wait around for me.”`
***
Phin was breaking his fast in the corner of the morning room. How could he feel such limitless joy for Mercy and Everett and for Marielle and Silas when he was numb inside?
He should have been elated to have Charlotte in his arms dancing a waltz. He wasn’t. He should have been gratified to know Charlotte had hurt him and wanted his forgiveness. He wasn’t.
Why? Countless times, he pictured himself with her in his arms. Countless times, he pictured himself washing away all the dirt and grime of Bennett’s accusations until he was clean again.
He could have that now. Why wasn’t he running to catch it? He didn’t know.
He looked up to see wedding gu
ests beginning to enter the morning room. Not many but more to come shortly. He would not subject himself to the role of host, even though he was. He detested making small talk. He got up, smiled, nodded his head on the way out and then left for the garden.
