The Reluctant Cowgirl

by Christine Lynxwiler

  His heart ached at the poignant tone in her voice. Did her enigmatic answer have anything to do with him? Or was he assuming too much? “What do you mean?”

  She cocked her head and gave him what he was coming to think of as her “measuring” look. “Yesterday, at Coffee Central, I ran into the girl who was in the car accident that killed my sister.”

  “I’m sorry.” He felt like a heel for pushing her but figured if she hadn’t wanted to talk about it she wouldn’t have told him. “Was she the driver?”

  Crystal shook her head. “No, another friend of ours was driving. He was killed, too. Phoebe was in the backseat.”

  They stared at the tiny brook rippling madly over the rocks in response to yesterday’s big rain.

  “I should have been there, too, but Cami and I...” She cleared her throat and took a small sip of water. “We had an argument that day.”

  “Crystal, I’m sorry. If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand.”

  Her lips twisted into a self-deprecating sneer. “Thanks, but I think I’ve probably ‘not talked about it’ for long enough.”

  “Was it a big argument?”

  “Nothing we couldn’t have worked out. Although I’m not sure my heart really believed that until I talked to Phoebe yesterday.” She motioned toward the bright green trees on the other side of the water. “It’s almost like yesterday’s rain washed away the last dregs of winter, isn’t it? Everything looks so fresh and beautiful.”

  Jeremy looked over at her. She had that right. “Spring’s my favorite time of year.”

  “Mine, too.” She touched his arm. “Thanks.”

  His brows drew together. “What for?”

  After a morning of mopey silence, her brilliant smile was like sunshine after rain. “For graciously letting me talk about it then just as graciously letting me change the subject.”

  He held his hands out, palms up. “Hey, I’m here to serve,” he said jokingly.

  But as they stood to go back to their horses, a shiver went up his spine. Why did Crystal McCord’s silences and smiles matter so much?

  ***

  “Chance McCord! If you don’t get out of that bathroom, I’m going to start breaking your fishing lures. One at a time.”

  Crystal heard a muffled protest from the bathroom as she walked by. She glanced at Kaleigh, fist raised to pound on the door again, face almost as red as her hair. “Yes, I will. I know where the key to your tackle box is. I have to get a shower before church, too.”

  “I’m out of Mama and Daddy’s bathroom,” Crystal said quietly.

  Kaleigh spun around. “Oh, okay. You look great.”

  Crystal smiled. “Thanks. Are you sure it’s okay?” Crystal smoothed the dress down with her hands. It had been so long since she’d gone to church, she felt she’d stick out like a sore thumb, but she’d promised Aaron she’d try. And especially with Kaleigh and Chance here, she didn’t want to bring up a lot of questions.

  “It’s perfect. The little black dress everyone wishes they had. Or looked like that in,” Kaleigh said, her hand still raised to bang on the door. “Sorry for yelling. He tricked me by giving me the last piece of cinnamon toast so he could beat me to the shower.”

  “Possibly getting you back for the time you convinced him you saw a monster bass in the cow pond so you could watch what you wanted to on TV?”

  Kaleigh grinned. “He stayed out there all night with his rod and reel.” She lowered her fist. “Fine. I’ll shower in Mama and Daddy’s bathroom.”

  Crystal nodded and went on downstairs. Since yesterday afternoon, she hadn’t had to worry about the house being too quiet. The twins had taken a rare Saturday afternoon and Sunday off to come home for a visit. And Matthew should be here from Tennessee when they got home from church.

  The three sisters had gone into town yesterday to get groceries. They’d gotten silly and laughed about everything under the sun. Crystal couldn’t remember when she’d laughed so hard. She couldn’t believe the years she’d wasted staying away. At times being here was very painful, and she was still making her bed on the couch. But the pain was worth the joy of spending precious time with her sisters and brothers. And at least she wasn’t still sleeping on the porch. So that was progress, however small.

  In the kitchen, she peeked at the big roast with carrots and potatoes she’d put in the Crock-Pot when she first got up this morning. It already smelled delicious. Elyse was making homemade rolls. Kaleigh was taking care of the other veggies. Luke was bringing a gallon of sweet tea. With any luck, from Coffee Central. Matthew was supposed to pick up a Milky Way cake on his way in. And best of all, as it should be when the women cooked, the men had volunteered to do the dishes. That was always fun to watch.

  Crystal sighed as she put the lid back on the Crock-Pot. Mama had sounded so proud when Crystal had talked to her last night and she’d found out they were all preparing Sunday lunch together at the house. And especially when she’d realized Crystal was planning to go to church this morning. But Crystal could hear the homesickness in her voice. She’d reminded her mother that they’d been gone almost a week already and the next few weeks would be over before she knew it.

  As Crystal remembered their conversation, she felt again the same jolt she’d felt then. It would be over soon. And when it was over, how would she go back to New York and leave the ranch and family she loved? She’d done it before wearing the protective armor of fresh grief. But after she’d grown used to seeing Elyse and Luke regularly and the others on occasional weekends like this one, how would she do it?

  She’d have to remind herself how thrilling it would be to act on Broadway. And remind herself that New York isn’t another planet. She could visit more often. That’s what understudies and days off were for.

  She poured a second cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table. What about Jeremy Buchanan? She couldn’t imagine going back to not knowing him. In the short time since she’d met him, he’d proven himself a good man and a wonderful friend.

  “What are you so lost in thought about?” a deep voice said from the doorway.

  She looked up at Chance and tried to figure out what to say. “The future.”

  “Deep subject.” He poured a cup of coffee and came to sit beside her. “Anything in particular?”

  She looked into her brother’s green eyes. “Just wondering what life will be like when I get back to New York.”

  “Without Brad the cad, you mean?” He winced. “Sorry. I picked that up from Kaleigh.”

  Crystal snickered. “Very fitting. My friend, Tina, used to call him Ken.”

  Chance’s eyebrows drew together. “Ken?”

  “As in Barbie’s Ken. Plastic. Like when he had a big plan to get rich on Wall Street, she started calling him Day-Trader Ken. Or more recently, Wedding-Proposal Ken.”

  Chance started to grin then frowned. “He proposed to you?”

  “Oh yeah, about a week before I caught him with my roommate.”

  “Did you say yes?”

  She shook her head. “I hadn’t given him an answer yet. But I was going to say no.”

  Chance took a gulp of his coffee. “Why didn’t you just say no right up front?”

  She sipped her own coffee and considered his question. “Because I was trying to be sure that marrying Brad would be worse than being alone.”

  Pain flashed in his eyes. “You could always come home to stay, Crys.”

  She glared at him. “You know I can’t. I’m going to see this through to Broadway.”

  “And then can you come home?”

  She just stared at him. “Come home? Do you think Cami would have made it to Broadway and then quit?”

  He shook his head. “But you’re not Cami.” He reached over and squeezed her hand. “We love you for you, Crys. It’s not up to you to preserve Cami’s memory by being a living monument to her.”

  “I think you’ve been listening to Mama too much. Broadway is my dream. And that has nothing t
o do with Cami.” Heart pounding in her throat, she glanced at the kitchen clock. “Elyse should be here any second to get us. Do you think Kaleigh’s almost done?”

  “I’ll go see.” He bounded out of the room. “Hurry, slowpoke. Time to go,” she heard him call up the stairs.

  “I’m not a slowpoke,” Kaleigh’s voice drifted down. “You’re just a bathroom hog.”

  A familiar stab of jealousy took her breath away. The twins gave each other a hard time, but they were best friends as well as siblings.

  As she sat in the kitchen and listened to her younger brother and sister’s good-humored fussing, she realized she’d lied to her mother. She was still grieving. And since she’d come home, she was realizing more and more that she’d lost more than her sister and best friend when Cami died. She’d lost her way.

  CHAPTER 13

  Jeremy had always spent Sundays with Beka. Through the week, while he and his dad worked on getting their new land into shape, his mom had kept Beka, sometimes even on Saturday. But Sunday mornings, the two of them would get up and get ready for church—“Does this dress look pretty on me, Daddy?”—and go together to Sunday school. Then after church and a big lunch at his parents’ house, father and daughter would do something fun, just the two of them. They’d flown kites, gone fishing, built snowmen, swam in the river, and even gone to the Little Rock Zoo and the Memphis Zoo.

  Now since Beka wasn’t here anymore, he couldn’t face all the sweet little girls in their pretty dresses, holding their daddies’ hands and skipping into their Sunday school classes. It was just too hard. So he waited and went to worship.

  And usually he slipped in right before the service started. As he pulled into the parking lot, he glanced at the clock. Today was no exception.

  In the crowded auditorium, Jeremy glanced around for a place to sit. He spotted a familiar blond head halfway up the aisle with an empty seat beside her. He started forward then stopped. Sitting with her now would just make it harder when she went back to New York. At least as it was now, he could pretend that he saw her for work and that their suppers were just a continuation of that. He slid into the pew next to the back by two women he recognized as friends of his mother.

  Willing himself to concentrate on worship was hard this morning, even though he knew it was only right. But he managed to keep his mind on the service, and when the hour was up, he felt refreshed and uplifted. And closer to God than he had in a long time.

  When he bumped into Luke in the foyer, the contractor clasped his hand. “Hey, thanks for taking such good care of Crystal this week. Work’s been crazy and I haven’t been around as much as I wanted to be.”

  Jeremy returned his handshake, wondering what Luke would say if he knew how much of Jeremy’s spare time was spent thinking about his sister. “I enjoy working on the ranch.” Not to mention talking to Crystal.

  Luke looked around. “I need to talk to your dad about some repairs he wants done at his house. Do you know where he is?”

  “You’ll have to wait a couple weeks. They flew out yesterday to Florida.”

  “No problem. I’ll catch him when he gets back.” Luke looked a little embarrassed. “I was just going to have to ask him to be patient with me anyway. Like I said, things are crazy at work.”

  “I’m sure he won’t mind.” Over Luke’s shoulder, Jeremy could see Crystal walking slowly toward them. Her black dress was simple, but somehow she made it look elegant and ... beautiful. Suddenly he became aware that Luke was saying something. “What?”

  Luke glanced back to see what had caught Jeremy’s attention, and a knowing smile flitted across his face. “I was asking you if you had plans for dinner. Don’t you usually eat with your mom and dad on Sundays?”

  “Yeah, I usually do.” He tried not to notice that Crystal had reached them. “I’m just going to run into town and get a bite to eat.”

  “We’ve got enough food to feed one more hungry cowboy, don’t we, sis?”

  Crystal looked startled but nodded. “Sure.”

  Jeremy felt his face grow hot. “Oh, thanks. But I don’t want to push in on a family gathering.”

  Luke laughed. “Our motto is ‘The more the merrier.’”

  Jeremy glanced at Crystal, trying to read her expression.

  She put her hand on his arm, her smile genuine. “We really would love for you to come, Jeremy. There’s plenty of food.”

  He knew he probably shouldn’t go, for the same reason he hadn’t sat with her. He also knew that his weak resolve didn’t stand a chance. So at least for now he was going to quit fighting. He’d see her while he could and deal with his heart when she left. “I’ll run home and change and see y’all in a few.”

  “Don’t take too long. The food goes fast,” Luke teased.

  ***

  “So Luke invited your cowboy to lunch?” Kaleigh looked up from where she was putting together a broccoli-and-cheese casserole.

  Crystal, on tiptoes getting plates out of the cabinet, came down to earth with a thud. “He’s not my cowboy.” And she didn’t know why the thought of his being her cowboy made her heart skitter at such an alarming rate. She set the plates on the counter and started gathering silverware from the top drawer.

  Kaleigh lifted the glass casserole dish and walked across the kitchen. “Would you open the oven for me?”

  Crystal yanked the oven door open. Maybe the heat hitting her face would disguise the redness she could feel in her cheeks.

  As she closed the door, Kaleigh slipped the oven mitt off her hand and turned to face her. “Why not?”

  Crystal pretended to misunderstand. “Why not what?”

  “Don’t play dumb.” Kaleigh grinned. “Why is he not your cowboy?”

  “Because I’m going back to New York in a few weeks.” Sometimes the obvious had to be stated.

  “He doesn’t fly? Or he doesn’t know the way to New York?”

  Crystal sighed. “Long-distance relationships never work.”

  “Never is a big word,” Kaleigh said.

  What was it with her sisters and waxing philosophical about the word never? Or was it just that Crystal used the word a lot?

  “What have you got to lose by trying?” Kaleigh prodded.

  My heart. But Crystal wasn’t interested in being quite that honest, so she just shrugged. “I don’t see you in a relationship. Why is that?”

  She glanced at her sister. It sure wasn’t because she didn’t have plenty of opportunities. Her flaming red hair and startling green eyes were trumped only by a smile that lit up any room. When she first came to live with them—a freckle-faced river rat straight from her grandfather’s houseboat—they’d all thought she and Chance were twin boys, but by the time she hit adolescence, she’d blossomed into a living doll.

  Now it was Kaleigh’s turn to blush, something she did easily. She retrieved the raw vegetables from the refrigerator. “I’m too much of a rebel and I don’t know how to compromise.”

  Crystal frowned. “Who told you that?”

  “The last three guys I dated.” She arranged the carrots on the veggie tray.

  “They probably just wanted to play video games and watch Star Wars over and over.”

  Crystal’s words had the desired effect. Kaleigh giggled as she spread out the broccoli and cauliflower. “Pretty much.”