The Reluctant Cowgirl

by Christine Lynxwiler

  His face grew hot as he remembered the few minutes after their kiss. Even though he’d initiated it, he hadn’t expected their connection to impact him so deeply. Because of that, he’d reacted like an idiot. She deserved more. But he hadn’t known how to disguise his confusion without just getting away from her.

  He slipped his phone out of his pocket and stared at the time: 9p.m. Texting wasn’t his strong suit, but he could manage a few words to keep from waking Beka by calling. He scrolled to Crystal’s number, pulled up a blank message, and typed, CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU TOMORROW.

  He stared at the words and inhaled deeply. Was he ready to move forward like this message implied? Now that Beka was home, there was nothing standing in the way of following his heart. He hit SEND.

  In a couple of minutes, his phone vibrated. He pushed the button to view the message. ME, TOO.

  A smile tilted the corner of his lips, but he wasn’t sure what to say. What if she was busy and didn’t want to talk? SEE YOU AT CHURCH. NIGHT.

  When her message came back, he felt like a kid in high school, fumbling to open it. SWEET DREAMS.

  He chuckled in the quiet room. YOU, TOO.

  From the top of the cedar chest at the end of the bed, he pulled a blanket across him. He stuck a stuffed elephant behind his head and looked at Beka one more time. Then he closed his eyes and sighed.

  The perfect end to a perfect day.

  ***

  Crystal sighed and floated upstairs, humming a love song from Making a Splash. She seemed to remember Aaron trying to make her promise that she wouldn’t flirt with Jeremy. Did Sweet dreams constitute flirting? She grinned at the phone. If it did, then so did You, too. So Jeremy was as guilty as she was. And after what happened in the kitchen, she was pretty sure that conversation with Aaron was irrelevant.

  She glanced at the closed door at the top of the stairs and hurried into the sewing room. Her satchel and suitcases took up so much space. She glanced at the big dresser on the wall. Feeling a little like a snoop, she walked over and opened the drawers. The first two held patterns and fabric, but the other four were blissfully empty. She knew her mother would be happy if she made herself at home. She sang loudly while she unpacked her suitcases into the drawers. When the job was done, she sat back with satisfaction. Now her hanging clothes were in the closet, and everything else was in the drawers.

  She glanced over at the double bed. As long as Kaleigh didn’t mind sharing if she came home for an overnight visit, Crystal had a place to stay until her parents came home. And if today was any indication, it could be an exciting three weeks.

  She clutched her phone and stood, unable to stop herself from reading Jeremy’s text messages one more time. She’d been sure that he regretted the kiss, but now she wasn’t sure at all. Had he set out to drive her crazy? Or did it just come naturally?

  She slapped the phone down on the dresser and walked out of the room. She needed a distraction.

  In the hallway, the closed door pulled her attention just like it always did. “I don’t need that big of a distraction.” Her voice echoed in the quiet house.

  Or did she? Last night, she’d opened the door. That had been a logical step. No sense in ripping off the hide with a Band-Aid that had been on for so long. Slow and easy, that was more her style. Maybe she should just turn the light on and look in.

  She twisted the doorknob. Before she could reconsider, she flipped the light switch on.

  The first things she saw were the posters. THE LION KIND. MAMMA MIA. HAIRSPRAY. That last one had been a graduation present. And Cami had barely gotten to hang it on the wall before she was gone.

  She forced herself to look at the picture above her own bed. An amazing aerial photograph of the ranch. Crystal had loved the small one so much that she’d asked for a framed enlargement for Christmas and had gotten it. She’d planned to take it to New York with her to stave off the homesickness. But her family had spoiled her, gathering her clothes for the funeral and the ones she wanted to take to New York with her. She’d never come back in this room.

  Still standing in the doorway, she allowed herself to look around a little. For some reason, she’d expected dust on the furniture, but there was none. She immediately thought of her mother’s quiet strength. Facing her daughters’ room on a regular basis. One gone forever. The other gone for all intents and purposes.

  What was it Jeremy had said about his parents? That in his own pain about Beka’s disappearance, he hadn’t considered theirs? Crystal knew she’d been equally guilty of that.

  On the dust-free oak nightstand, Crystal spotted her well-worn Bible. Exactly where she’d left it seven years ago. She stared at it for several moments without blinking. If only getting right with God were as simple as just picking it up again.

  Before she considered what she was doing, she darted in and grabbed the Bible then darted back to the doorway.

  Breathless and feeling more than a little silly, she ran her hand over the grainy leather and traced her name, embossed in gold. Her parents had given her this when she’d gotten baptized. In her hand, it felt light. But her heart knew better.

  She flipped through the pages. Her eyes immediately fell on a highlighted verse. “‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,’” she whispered. One of the many verses she’d committed to memory back then. At the time, she couldn’t imagine ever going a day without reading the Bible. Much less seven years. Of course at the time, she couldn’t have imagined losing her twin, either.

  Her cell phone chimed in the sewing room and, still clutching the Bible, she hurried to answer it, relieved to leave her uncomfortable thoughts. “Hello?”

  “Crystal, it’s Mia. Honey, I have fantastic news. That new Broadway play we heard was opening? Sisters? You’ve got a private audition for a supporting role.”

  CHAPTER 22

  Crystal’s legs went weak and she sank to the bed. “Really?”

  “No, I’m kidding. Of course really. You audition first thing Monday morning. They faxed over the information, and I need you here early tomorrow to meet with the audition coach I’ve lined up.”

  “Tomorrow?” Her mind raced. She could eat lunch with Jeremy and his family right after church then rush to the airport...

  “Call the airport and get booked on the first flight out in the morning. I want you well rested for this audition.”

  Crystal considered arguing, but she knew Mia was right. She sighed. This opportunity was too important for her to give a less-than-peak performance. “Okay. See you tomorrow.”

  She slipped the Bible into her overnight satchel and turned to the dresser. Apparently, she’d been a little premature in her unpacking.

  ***

  “So you’ll call me and tell me what time to pick you up Tuesday?” Luke handed her the overnight bag and glanced around the busy terminal.

  “Yes. Or I can get a rental car if you’re working.”

  “Elyse or I will pick you up. And don’t worry about the ranch. I’ll get Slim and the boys started in the morning and go into work a little late.” He grinned. “I can do that since I’m the boss.”

  Crystal smiled, but she knew the truth was that he worked harder and longer hours than his crew. “Right.” She hugged him and watched him walk away then got into the ticket line. She glanced at her phone: 7:30a.m. She’d put off this call as long as she could.

  She pulled up Jeremy’s number and hit SEND.

  She could hear the happiness in his voice when he answered.

  “Hi,” she said softly. “I’m sorry to call at the last minute, but something’s come up. I won’t be able to eat lunch at your mom’s.”

  “What’s wrong?” The concern in his tone tugged at her heart. “Anything I can help with?”

  She shook her head even though he couldn’t see her. Nothing he could help with. “No. I just have to fly back to New York for a couple of days to take care of something.” She’d decided not to advertise the fact that she had an audition unt
il she knew something for sure. It was just easier that way. “So I’m at the airport.”

  He didn’t speak and she pulled the phone away from her face and looked at the screen to be sure the connection wasn’t broken.

  “You’re at the airport right now?” He sounded bewildered.

  “When I found out last night it was too late to call you. Would you tell your mom I’m sorry?”

  “Sure.” Was it her imagination or was his tone cooler? “I’ll tell her.”

  “Thanks, Jeremy. I really am sorry.”

  “No problem. Have a safe flight.”

  She disconnected, and an uneasiness crept into her bones. Maybe she should have told him why she was going back to New York. Or maybe that would have made things worse.

  ***

  “Where’s Miss Crystal?”

  Jeremy froze in the act of passing the green bean casserole to his mother. He’d hoped Beka wouldn’t even notice that she wasn’t here, or at least wouldn’t be curious enough to ask about her.

  “Crystal had to go out of town today. For work.” As soon as he said the words, he realized that he really had no idea if it was for work. The trip could be purely personal. Maybe Brad had talked her into giving him a second chance. He winced. Some thoughts were better left unthought.

  “Oh...” Beka picked at her broccoli. “Like Mommy.”

  Jeremy’s breath whooshed out of him. He wanted to protest that Crystal’s trip, whatever the reason of it, was nothing like Lindsey’s disappearances. But he picked up the basket of garlic cheese toast instead. “Here, honey, have some toast.”

  Beka wrinkled her nose. “I don’t like that.”

  “Yes, you do. It’s your favorite.” Which was precisely why his mom had fixed it, even though they had a whole kitchen full of food, already prepared.

  Beka shook her head. “Nuh-uh.” She stuck her bottom lip out slightly. “It stinks.”

  Jeremy set the basket down and fought to get past the surge of anger at Lindsey. Even the simple things weren’t simple anymore. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up into compassion-filled eyes.

  “It’s just going to take a while,” his dad murmured.

  Jeremy nodded. With his head, he knew that. But patience had never been his strong suit. So with his heart, he wanted everything to be back to normal. Now.

  His mom and dad engaged Beka in conversation and he just concentrated on getting through the meal, listening to her chatter with one ear.

  He should be thankful that she was as unchanged as she was. And he was. He knew enough about kids to know that even if she’d lived with him for the last ten months, she could have easily changed her preference for garlic cheese toast.

  When they were finished, he pushed back from the table.

  “Is Mommy coming today?” Beka asked as she climbed down from her chair.

  His mom gasped then covered it with a cough.

  “No. No, she’s not, honey.” Jeremy stood and put his hand on Beka’s head, lightly ruffling her hair. “Let’s go in the living room and talk for a minute.”

  Beka skipped ahead of him into the living room and clambered up onto the couch.

  He sank down beside her, praying silently for the right words. “Do you remember Ralphie?”

  The barn cat had been a fixture on the farm when they’d bought it. Last year, right before Lindsey had taken Beka, Ralphie had gone off to another farm exploring and apparently gotten into some rat poison. Beka bobbed her head up and down. “Um-hum. He died.”

  Jeremy nodded. “And we were sad.”

  Beka twisted around and looked up at him. “I cried.”

  “And that’s normal. Because when animals or people die, we’re sad.”

  Beka’s eyes were wide as if she knew what he was going to say. “The lady on the TV said Mommy died.”

  Jeremy sucked in his breath, shaken that she’d heard that and not said anything. He put his arm around her. “That’s right. She did.”

  Beka rubbed her eye with her fist and sniffed. “So I won’t see her anymore?”

  He shook his head. “I’m sorry, honey. But it’s okay to be sad.” He pulled her onto his lap and she didn’t resist.

  She buried her head in his shirt and cried.

  He stroked her hair and looked up at his parents standing in the doorway. His mom wiped at her eyes and disappeared into the kitchen. His dad followed her.

  “Why don’t we pray about it?” Jeremy whispered.

  “Amanda says...” Beka stopped to choke out a shuddering sob. “That God cares when we’re sad.”

  “She’s right.” Not for the first time, Jeremy thanked God silently for Amanda. “Amanda’s pretty smart.”

  He held Beka tight and prayed aloud for peace and comfort for her. When he finished, she climbed off his lap and pulled some books from the wicker basket at the end of his mom’s couch. She held them out to him. “Read me a story?”

  He nodded and took the books, a grin teasing the corner of his mouth as he saw the title of the top one. Sleeping Beauty. “I’d love to.” She reclaimed her place on his lap and snuggled against him.

  After the third book, Beka wandered into the kitchen to help her grandma make some cookies. He pulled out his phone. No missed calls. No text messages.

  He opened Crystal’s last message. SWEET DREAMS. Should he text her to be sure she made it safely to New York? It was odd knowing he wouldn’t be seeing her for the next couple of days. Unsettlingly odd.

  He flipped his phone shut. When he saw Crystal by the river that first day, he’d known she was a complication waiting to happen. And now he couldn’t quit thinking about her. Somehow the fact that he’d been right gave him no satisfaction at all.

  ***

  “So y’all are really getting married?” Crystal tucked the sheet under the couch cushion and stared at Tina, unsure the Texan wasn’t pulling her leg.

  “Unless I chicken out.” Tina smoothed out the sheet on the other end and spread a blanket across it. She picked up a pillow and tossed it to Crystal. “When this temp job ends in a couple weeks, we’re supposed to fly down to Texas and tie the knot.” She smiled. “Too bad we’re not taking the bike. We could buzz by Arkansas and see your ranch.”

  “I’d love that.” Crystal laid the pillow on the couch and sank down beside it. “I’m so happy for you.”

  Tina sat down in the small armchair. “Me, too. God has really blessed us. So how did it go with the audition coach today?”

  Crystal moaned. “It went fine, but I’m so tired I can’t wiggle. When I think about Mia saying she wanted me to come today so I could be rested for the audition, I feel like laughing. Or I would if I had any energy.”

  “Poor you.” Tina motioned toward the couch. “It’s fun having you sleep over.”

  “Thanks, but I’m a little worried about coming back in three weeks. I don’t know how long it’ll take me to find a place.”

  Tina frowned. “I said it’s fun having you. What part of that didn’t you understand?”

  Crystal sighed. “But will you still feel that way when you swap your roommates for Zee? I can’t really see me bunking with newlyweds.”

  “Get real, girl. We’ll have a couch just the same as I do now. You’ll be welcome to stay with us for as long as you want. And if we’re in Texas when you come back, you can stay at Zee’s until we get back.”