Safe Word

by Christie Grey

  “Try it,” he urged.

  Zane looked on anxiously as she took a bite of the gooey cheesy goodness. “It’s delicious,” she told him earnestly, her mouth still full. “Thank you. But uh, how did you get your hands on leftover lasagne? I haven’t made lasagne in ages, and this doesn’t taste like store bought.”

  “I got up in the middle of the night and made it fresh,” Zane replied. “That way it would be ready – and nice and cold – by the time you woke up.”

  “That...was really thoughtful,” Melody told him, touched that he would go to all that trouble.

  He looked embarrassed. “How are you feeling?”

  It was her turn to look embarrassed. “Oh, I’m...better,” she told him, afraid she’d get caught in her little white lie. “But seriously, thanks for all this. You’re going to have to help me eat it, though,” she informed him.

  He sat on the opposite side of the bed and picked up the Popsicle. She couldn’t help but sneak a peek at him out of the corner of her eye as he licked it. And she couldn’t help but imagine his tongue doing similar things in very different places...

  “So you’re all better?” he asked hopefully.

  “Yeah,” she nodded. “I guess I was just tired.”

  “That’s good to hear. So...are you up for playing today, then?”

  Melody hesitated. “Maybe I’m not completely better,” she corrected herself, unsure of what else to say. “Maybe I should take it easy today to make sure the germs are actually gone,” she added lamely, feeling like the world’s biggest faker. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize, your health comes first,” Zane assured her, not appearing the least bit upset. “How about we just hang out and watch some movies today? I’ll order us takeout from that new Chinese place we’ve been meaning to try.”

  Did he really have to be so sweet? Melody wanted to turn Zane’s invitation down. She felt like she needed her space. But she also felt bad about lying and since he was going out of his way to look after her, she didn’t know how to say no.

  And that was how Melody ended up spending her entire Sunday curled up under a blanket on the couch with Zane. They watched a couple of movies, and then, after pigging out on Chinese takeout, started binge watching a crime drama they both liked.

  Melody’s best friend was back. But she wasn’t foolish enough to think they could undo what they had done...nor was she sure she wanted to. She wasn’t sure of anything except that Zane kept watching her instead of the television screen. And the only way she knew that was because she kept sneaking glances at him, too.

  The whole thing felt so weird. On the one hand, it was nice to hang out again. Back when she had thought she had no chance with Zane, their friendship had been relatively uncomplicated. But with just one kiss (well, and a whole lot more), everything had changed. Melody would never be able to look at Zane again without thinking about all the things he had done to her.

  Maybe she would never be able to look at him again without getting turned on, either.

  To try to put her racing mind – and racing pulse – at ease, Melody matched Zane beer for beer. That was really saying something, because if there was one thing Zane was good at, it was downing beers. After a while he began looking surprised every time she cracked open another cold one.

  Melody knew she should slow down. Actually, what she needed to do was stop. She was drinking way more than she was used to, but at least now that her head was spinning and her spirits were high, her problems seemed light years away.

  So she kept drinking.

  She was on a mission. She was going to get sloppy drunk. Hell, she was going to get fall-on-your-face shitfaced. And she didn’t care. Normally that was something she tried to avoid, figuring she was too mature for the kind of behavior one is expected to get out of one’s system in college. But screw that.

  She needed this.

  “Empty!” Melody announced, holding up her beer bottle triumphantly.

  “Wow, I’ve never seen you throw them back like this,” Zane told her as he nursed his own beer.

  “Keep up, slowpoke!” she slurred, feeling warm and flushed and giddy.

  “Oh, was this supposed to be a race? Okay fine, I guess you beat me then,” Zane replied as he watched Melody carefully. “Good work, champ,” he added although there wasn’t much sincerity in his voice when he said it.

  Even though he’d had quite a few beers of his own, he was a lot bigger than Melody. Plus he was a frequent drinker, so the alcohol had less of an effect on him than it did on her. As a result, he remained in full control of his faculties. Melody, on the other hand...well, she wasn’t.

  “I want another one,” she announced.

  Zane hesitated. “Are you sure?”

  “What are you, my mother? Yes I’m sure!”

  “How about we split one?” he suggested, trying to compromise.

  “How about I split you?” Melody crowed. She didn’t quite know what that meant, but it had seemed clever right up until the point where it came out of her mouth. Dizzy and happy, she collapsed in a fit of giggles.

  Zane didn’t join in her laughter. He got up and dutifully retrieved a beer from the kitchen, but after cracking it open he didn’t offer it to her. Instead, he sat on the edge of the couch and looked at Melody, an expression of concern on his face.

  “Why so serious?” she asked once her laughter had subsided.

  “I guess I’m just tired,” Zane replied even though he didn’t look particularly tired. “How about we call it a night?” he suggested, picking up the remote control and switching the television off.

  “Hey, I was watching that!” Melody protested, even though she hadn’t really been paying any attention at all to the television for the past hour or two.

  “It’s bedtime.”

  “Ooh, you said that so sternly!” she chortled. “Yes sir!” Melody was completely out of control now. Even though it made no sense to instigate exactly what she had been hell bent on escaping in the first place, Melody got up and clumsily sat on Zane’s knee.

  She grabbed his face between her hands, squishing his cheeks. Then she kissed him hard, a sloppy, drunken kiss with plenty of tongue action. “Let’s go to bed!” she told him in a sultry voice, practically draping herself over him.

  He wrapped his arms around her and stood up. Then, with ease, he carried her into her bedroom.

  “What, we’re not doing it in your bedroom?” she asked, her vision blurred and her limbs a bit on the floppy side. “Okay, fine, we’ll do it in my room tonight. How about we do it in every room? That could be fun, huh? Are you finally going to put it in me tonight?” she demanded before letting out a loud hiccup.

  “We’re not having sex tonight,” he told her as he laid her down on her bed. “Go to sleep.”

  “But I want you!” she whined shamelessly, reaching out for him.

  He leaned in, allowing her to wrap her arms – and legs – around his torso in a giant, clingy bear hug. He hugged her back briefly and then planted a tender, sweet kiss on her cheek right next to her ear. “Get some rest,” he whispered. “There will be plenty of time to play later.”

  “But I want it now!” she insisted.

  It took Zane a moment to disentangle himself from Melody’s limbs. He was gentle and patient as he pried her off of him, but he also made it clear he wasn’t going to be talked into having sex that night. “You’re too drunk to play tonight,” he told her firmly.

  “Will you at least stay with me while I fall asleep?” she asked, suddenly not wanting him to leave. “Can we cuddle? Please?”

  “Sure,” he agreed, sliding into bed beside her.

  Immediately, Melody turned around and began to passionately kiss him. She wasn’t trying to be a jerk. She was just very, very intoxicated. And it seemed like a good idea at the time to go at him like a nymphomaniac until he began to return her advances.

  “Stop it.” His tone wasn’t unkind, but he also said the words like he meant them.
<
br />   Melody stopped. “You’re serious?” she asked.

  “Yes. Now go to sleep,” he told her, wrapping an arm around her. “Goodnight.”

  “Goodnight.”

  Melody laid there in the dark for a few minutes, just staring straight ahead into the shadows. She liked the way Zane’s breathing was rhythmic, predictable. She tried to match her own breaths to his, thinking that would somehow make the whole thing more intimate.

  She wished he would kiss her again.

  She wanted to kiss him again, but she didn’t dare.

  Or did she?

  Melody propped herself up on her elbow and stared down at Zane’s perfect, gorgeous face. She longed to reach out and stroke it – or sit on it – but she did neither. Instead, she simply stared, admiring and contemplating whether it would be inappropriate to kiss him again when he was trying to sleep.

  He cracked an eye open then and caught her gazing at him.

  “Yes?” he asked, a small smile playing over the corners of his very kissable mouth.

  “Hi,” she told him.

  He chuckled. “Hi.”

  “Are you mad at me?” she asked, making a drunken pouty face.

  “What? No, of course not,” he assured her. “We’re good.”

  He was so incredible! Melody had been acting like an idiot, she decided. Actually, what she’d been acting like lately was a jealous, insecure girlfriend. And she wasn’t Zane’s girlfriend...was she? No, probably not. But maybe that was okay, because she still got to do wild sexy kinky things with him and it was so exciting!

  “Do you like kissing me?” she demanded.

  He smirked. “Isn’t it obvious? I like kissing you very much.”

  “Good, because I’m going to kiss you now,” she announced, leaning in.

  Then she abruptly stopped, only inches from his face.

  “Oh God!” she gasped.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “I’m – I’m gonna hurl!” Melody screeched, bolting from the bed and managing to run right into the wall. “Ouch!” she complained as she hit the wall hard and went down, still gagging as the contents of her stomach threatened to come back up.

  Zane was at her side in a flash. He expertly got her back on her feet and guided her into the bathroom. He even held her hair for her while she knelt in front of the toilet and paid dearly for drinking far too much beer.

  It wasn’t exactly Melody’s finest moment, but she was too drunk and nauseas to be mortified. Mortification could wait until the next morning when she woke up with a nasty hangover and a heavy feeling of shame hanging over her.

  So she simply sat there on the cold tiled bathroom floor and allowed Zane to take care of her.

  Chapter 14

  When Melody woke up, it was with a start. She felt something wet and sticky in her hair and for one horrified moment, she thought it was vomit. But then she realized it was saliva. She had been drooling in her sleep. It was still gross, but to a lesser extent.

  She rolled over to find the other side of the bed empty. She was relieved Zane wasn’t in her bed. If she looked anything like she felt then she didn’t want him seeing her like that.

  Suddenly the previous night’s events came back to her in a flash. She remembered the way she had thrown herself at Zane repeatedly, undeterred every time he politely refused her advances. At the time it had seemed like a good idea. But now that she was in a clearer state of mind, the memory was making Melody cringe big time.

  “You are a mess,” she whispered to herself as she sat up. Then she clutched her head. “Ouch.”

  Melody walked out to the kitchen, her bare feet slapping lightly on the hardwood floor. As she got a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with water, she looked down and noticed she was wearing one of her nightgowns.

  Had she put it on last night?

  She couldn’t remember.

  As she gulped down her water, Melody glanced over in the direction of Zane’s bedroom. His door was open. He normally slept with the door shut. She tiptoed over and peered in. He wasn’t there. Evidently he wasn’t home.

  What did that mean? Was he so disgusted with her that he couldn’t stand to be in the same room as her, or even the same condo? Melody hoped not, but if that was the case she supposed she couldn’t blame him. She had made an utter fool of herself. Filled with regret, she wished she could take it all back.

  Suddenly her phone rang.

  “Shit!” she hollered, jumping and then once again clutching her head. She grabbed the phone without even looking at the number, picking up hastily so she wouldn’t have to hear it ring a second time. “Hello?” she said with a twinge of irritation in her voice.

  “Good morning,” Zane’s deep voice greeted her. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be up yet.”

  “Barely,” she replied. “I’m never drinking that much ever again. And I’m sorry for last night.”

  “Think nothing of it,” he said dismissively. “How are you feeling?”

  “Rough,” she admitted. “But I totally deserve it. Where are you?”

  “I’m at my parents’ place,” he told her. “I didn’t want to just leave while you were sleeping but they always expect me at the same time and I didn’t know when you were going to wake up...”

  “Don’t worry about it,” she assured him.

  “I don’t know about you, but I always crave something greasy and delicious when I have a hangover,” Zane said. “I’m about to head home – do you want me to swing by a drive thru and pick something up for you?”

  “That’s really nice of you but don’t go out of your way,” Melody told him, even as her mouth watered at the thought of cheesy fries.

  “I don’t mind at all,” Zane assured her. “See you in a bit.”

  Though Melody felt foolish for doing it, she spent the next little while hurriedly trying to make herself look halfway presentable. She showered, put on clean clothes and even dabbed a bit of concealer under her eyes to hide the dark circles. Then she added some bright pink blush and lip gloss. After all that – and a painkiller for her headache – she felt and looked halfway decent.

  When Zane arrived back, brown paper fast food bag in hand, he even commented on it.

  “Damn, other women must hate you,” he grinned as he handed over the food.

  “What do you mean?” Melody asked as she eagerly inspected the contents of the bag: cheesy fries, two burgers, breaded chicken nuggets with plum sauce and onion rings. Apparently Zane was trying to make her fat!

  “You look twice as good hung over as other women do on a good day,” he explained.

  Melody reddened. “Oh I do not,” she mumbled, secretly thrilled by the unexpected compliment. Then, to take the attention off of herself, she asked, “So you were at your parents’ place today?”

  “Yeah, I was.”

  “It’s been years since I’ve seen them. I remember your mom used to make amazing chocolate chip cookies. Every time your sister invited me over we’d have them. Oh my God, those cookies were so good. They had chunks of fudge baked right into them along with –”

  “White chocolate chips,” Zane chimed in, nodding. “I love them too. She still makes them all the time...probably because I eat them all every time I’m over there so she constantly has to bake more. I’ll bring you some.”

  “Yummy!” Melody exclaimed, licking her lips. Then she asked, “How are your parents?”

  “They’re alright,” he replied. “They’re getting older but we all are, right?”

  “Unfortunately,” Melody nodded.

  “My mom’s boss offered her early retirement so she could be at home with me after my accident,” Zane said. “I think now that I’m better and don’t need her helping me out around the clock she doesn’t quite know what to do with herself. So she bakes a lot...and spends a lot of time nagging my dad,” he chuckled.

  “Oh dear,” Melody groaned.

  “He brings it on himself,” Zane assured her.

  “Does he?
”

  “He retired last year so now he spends all his time puttering around the house. His new thing is constantly trying to do home improvements. It drives my mom crazy! I go over there most days to help him out with whatever his latest project happens to be. Usually his ideas are a bit too ambitious for one person to tackle.”

  “That’s where you spend all your time?” Melody asked, secretly relieved to find out for sure that when he was away he wasn’t out on dates – or hookups – with other women. Even though she’d had no reason to suspect it, the mere possibility of it had bothered her.

  “If I’m not at home with you or at the gym, I’m at my parents’ place,” Zane replied.

  “That’s nice of you.”

  “What else am I going to do with my time?” he reasoned, seemingly unwilling to accept any praise. “Besides, my parents miss my sister a lot. I figure they should at least have one kid nearby, you know?”

  “Aww, that’s so sweet,” Melody gushed, unable to help herself.

  “No it’s not. Don’t look at me like that,” he complained. “I’m still a colossal screw up, promise. But anyway, my parents are probably a big part of why I’m still here in this boring little town. Though I must say it’s been a lot less boring ever since you and I reconnected...”

  “I’m glad we did.”

  “So am I.”

  “By the way, I don’t think I said thanks for picking this up for me,” Melody told him, gesturing to the deep fried feast Zane had hand delivered to her. “It’s exactly what I needed, although maybe not what my thighs need. Anyway, what do I owe you?”

  “Don’t be silly.”

  “I don’t expect you to buy stuff for me!”

  “I know, but I want to. It’s really no big deal, promise.”

  “Have some,” Melody ordered, pushing the cheesy fries closer to him.

  “I already polished off an entire order of cheesy fries and a burger on the drive home,” he told her with a sheepish, lopsided grin. “I probably swing by that place way more often than I should admit. I guess that’s why I have to hit up the gym so much!”

  “Well whatever you do, it works. I haven’t seen the inside of a gym since college,” Melody confided, wincing a little as she made the realization.