The Unexpected Baby

by Diana Hamilton

  He turned then. Slowly. His eyes were empty, as if no one lived behind them. ‘My dear,’ he drawled, ‘I don’t believe I’m the one doing anything to “us.’”

  He shifted his attention to the briefcase on the table, opening it, pulling out an all too familiar package. ‘This is yours. I hope you’ll dispose of it more sensibly next time. When I left here yesterday morning,’ he said in a terse explanation, when he met her puzzled stare, ‘I scoured the village and found his vehicle outside that run-down-looking pension. Considering the earliness of your assignation, I thought he might be staying nearby. I persuaded him to hand this back.’ He dropped the package on the table with a look of mild distaste. ‘And I hope it won’t come as too much of a disappointment, but you won’t be seeing or hearing from him again. I got the message over to him in a way that not even he could misunderstand.’

  He snapped the briefcase shut. ‘I’ll phone you from New York.’ And he walked out.

  Elena let him go. There was no point in following him, arguing, pleading. Jed Nolan had made up his mind and there was nothing she could do or say that would alter it.

  He phoned from New York, faithfully each week. Elena’s despair turned to hopelessness, and then to dull apathy. His questions were bluntly to the point, and it was all she could do to drag out her responses.

  She was well. She had regular appointments with her gynaecologist in Cadiz. Yes, she had visited the maternity unit. And that was it; that was all.

  If his phone calls depressed her then his first visit did more than that. He arrived at noon, cool in a loose white cotton shirt, lightweight oyster-coloured trousers. The heat of the summer made her sweat, her hair flop lankily around her face. She felt fat and ugly and didn’t want to see him.

  He left when Pilar did, and she curled up on the sofa and cried until she felt sick. She felt as if someone had dug a deep, dark pit, thrown her in and covered her up. She didn’t think she would ever climb out of it again, didn’t think she wanted to.

  On his second visit, exactly a month later, he left well before Pilar. The Spanish woman was beside herself with excitement. ‘Señor Nolan is such a good man! See how he cares about you!’ Her black eyes rolled expressively. ‘Sadly, his business takes him so much away. But—‘she could hardly contain herself ‘—last time he say to us he is buying a car. For us. Yesterday it came. A new car, not an old thing. For our own. But for Tomás to drive you wherever you need to go. First he needed to satisfy himself Tomás is safe. That one, I told him, is very safe for driving. Too lazy to drive faster than a snail! One car we had once, in our early days. Then it fell to bits and now the hens live in it in the back yard.’

  He was doing his duty. He was good at that. She dreaded his next visit. Next month she would be huger than ever. She hated him seeing her like this. Fat. Dull. Lifeless. Dreaded the polite questions on the state of her health. Was she eating enough? Eating the right things, getting plenty of rest?

  He’d brought little snippets of news—very little about what he was doing and where he was doing it, mainly about how well Catherine and Susan were settling in their cottage, digging up the entire garden, apparently, and replanting, haunting sale rooms and antiques shops for just the right pieces of furniture. So he had to have visited Netherhaye, spent some time there.

  The two ladies had threatened to fly out to visit her, but, Jed had told her, he had dissuaded them, telling them she was busy on a new book. Was she writing?

  Mutely, she had shaken her head. She was doing nothing but managing to get through each day. Sometimes even that seemed too much to cope with.

  She knew now, without him having to tell her, that after the birth he would go for divorce. Catherine was back on her feet, had a new life to make in a new home, plenty to keep her occupied. There was no need now to stay married.

  Oddly enough, she accepted it, had come to understand him better.

  He was nothing if not an honourable man, a man who took duty and responsibility seriously—she only had to witness the care he had extended to her, albeit from a distance, to know that.

  A man of his word. He would have nothing but contempt for a wife who consistently presented him with what he could only view as deceit.

  He might have loved her once. She knew he had. But he couldn’t stay with her.

  Not even for great sex.

  Not even for a true and loving heart?

  The parcel of tiny baby clothes arrived from England when the winds of early October carried the first hint of autumn chill through the mountains. Elena’s heart came out of deep-freeze.

  The parcel had come from Catherine and her mother, and she dialled the number Jed had given her and spoke to them both. It was Catherine who said, ‘I’m glad to hear you’re sounding better. You got me worried, you sounded so flat when we phoned last. I even suggested to Jed when he was over here a few weeks ago that Susan and I might visit and cheer you up. You must be missing him so—I can’t think why he doesn’t make someone else do all these foreign trips.’

  ‘These lovely things have cheered me up,’ Elena said, and meant it. So far she had done nothing to prepare for her baby.

  ‘And you remember what we talked about back in early summer? About the way I tended to spoil Sam and why? Well, I did get to have that talk with Jed.’ Catherine gave a fluttery half-laugh. ‘And do you know what he said? He said he’d worked that out for himself, and that it had helped in a certain situation. I can’t think what he meant, and he wouldn’t tell me. Anyway, I’m glad I got it said.’

  She knew what he’d meant, Elena thought sadly, after ending the conversation five minutes later. Jed had thought things through. He’d believed what she’d told him about her baby’s conception, accepted that he didn’t come second-best to his brother, accepted that he had no reason to doubt that he came first with her, and always would.

  Until what had happened with Liam had changed all that, made him question her integrity all over again, question his own judgement of her character, weigh up the facts as they were known to him and find her wanting.

  It was the worst thing that had happened to her, but she had to accept that he would never change his opinion back again. So she had Pilar and Tomás help her turn the bedroom with the south-facing windows into a nursery, decorating it in soft shades of cream and primrose-yellow. Then she organised a day out for them all.

  They did it in style, all dressed in their best. She and Pilar in the back of the car—Pilar gave a great shout of laughter. ‘You and I together, we will break the springs!’—and Tomás proudly in front, dressed in a shiny blue suit, driving, Elena was sure, with the brakes on most of the time.

  By the time they’d toured the stores and baby boutiques, ordered everything from a crib to a fluffy bear, they were flagging. Elena treated them to lunch, surprised to find herself hungry, enjoying herself.

  So life went on, and it was early November, the nights cold enough now for huge fires made from the logs Tomás split daily.

  Soon, she supposed, Jed would put in an appearance, and, nearer the time of the birth, whisk them off to wait in one of the hotels in Cadiz, to be near the maternity unit. He had given his word and he would keep it. No matter how difficult it would be for both of them; no matter if seeing him again resurrected the awful, keening pain in her heart.

  He came on a black night of torrential rain. She heard him call her name and willed her heart to keep beating calmly, not to panic, not to ache, and most of all not to fruitlessly yearn for what could never be again.

  She hauled herself out of the chair where she’d been watching the dancing flames and listening to the wind howling in the chimneys, and smoothed down the smothering smock she was wearing over maternity leggings. She resolutely refused to let herself feel embarrassed by the way she looked.

  Her hands rested on the shelf that had once been her waist. This was her baby, her life. He wanted no part in either. She had to remember that. When he walked into the cosy, comfy room, the heavy curtains
closed to shut out the wild night, she said, ‘I think you should turn round and go straight back before the road gets impassable.’

  Although he had visited occasionally since he’d discovered her with Liam he had never stayed overnight. She doubted he would want to, even if she suggested it. ‘In weather like this there can be rock falls, and the road down to the village turns into a river.’ He looked haunted, she saw, hollow-eyed with weight loss. She didn’t dare show she cared. ‘There’s no need for you to be here.’

  ‘I see the need,’ he said harshly, as if that was all that mattered. He strode further into the room, shrugged off his rain-darkened soft suede coat and dropped it on the floor. His black cashmere sweater clung to the wide bones of his shoulders. His eyes raked her, eyes that burned with the emotion that had been missing for months.

  ‘One.’ He came closer. ‘You shouldn’t be alone here in weather like this. Two.’ He came close enough to touch her if he’d wanted to. ‘I need to be here. With you. I can’t stay away. Don’t ask me to.’

  Elena’s brow wrinkled, her eyes searching his face. What she saw was fierce intent and something else, something soft and lost that looked like pleading. Did he mean his sense of responsibility, the duty of care he felt towards her and Sam’s unborn child, wouldn’t let him rest when he knew she’d be alone at night after Pilar and Tomás had left?

  Or did he mean something else?

  ‘I don’t understand.’ Her mouth felt unmanageable. The niggling backache she’d had all day suddenly became a ferocious spasm. She swallowed a gasp, waited until it had passed, then sank down again onto her chair.

  Immediately he hunkered down in front of her. ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘Perfectly.’ His hair was wet, rumpled. She wanted to run her fingers through it—wouldn’t let herself, of course.

  He gave her a searching look and then, as if satisfied, stood upright, fed more logs onto the fire, then began to pace.

  ‘I put you on a pedestal,’ he told her with almost savage self-contempt. ‘I had no right to do that. No one’s perfect.’ He swung round and smiled thinly. ‘Not even me. Especially not me. I believed what you told me about the baby. Not because I checked your story, because I didn’t. But when I’d cooled down my heart told me you were telling the truth. Then that business with Forrester cropped up and muddied the waters, and I didn’t know what to believe.’

  He was staring into the fire again, one arm draped across the stone mantel, when the next contraction came. Elena sucked in her breath and ignored it. This was more important.

  ‘I had no damned right to let that happen,’ he said rawly. ‘If you felt sorry for him—you had been his wife and you must have loved him once—and wanted to help him get back on his feet, then I had no right to prevent you, to get violently jealous because you still had a residue to feeling left for him.’

  Silently, Elena got to her feet, her hands pressed into the small of her back. The contractions were coming strongly now, quickly. But before she said anything about it, did anything about it, she had to know. ‘Are you suggesting we try again—to make this marriage work?’

  ‘Not try.’ He turned to her, his eyes burning. ‘It will work—if you can forgive me.’

  ‘Why now?’ she asked thickly, not daring to let herself believe in this sudden change of heart. ‘It’s been almost four months. You stayed away. And even when you made those duty visits we might as well have been on different planets.’

  ‘You think I don’t know that. You think it didn’t tear me apart?’ His eyes were tortured. He spread his hands. ‘Do you think I don’t know what a fool I’ve been? I can’t bear life without you, Elena. I need to be with you, I love you, dammit!’

  This was Jed, her Jed. Showing the emotions he’d battened down. His flaws were all too human, as were hers. His strengths were what mattered, and she would match them with her own. She would find the courage to accept what he was saying. She moved towards him and put her hands on his shoulders.

  ‘I love you. I never stopped. Loving you hurt, but it never stopped.’

  The hands that reached for her, held her, were unsteady, his kiss tender, infinitely loving. ‘I want to hold you for ever,’ he said thickly. ‘I’ve always regarded myself as being ultra-sensible, but with you my emotions rule my head. I’d have said all of this much sooner—months ago—but I was afraid I’d blown it, that you’d tell me I’d had my chance and wouldn’t get another. I want you to promise that the next time I behave like a cretin you’ll hit me with something heavy.’

  ‘Promise,’ she concurred breathlessly. ‘If you’ll do something for me.’

  ‘Anything.’

  She couldn’t doubt his fervour. ‘Phone Tomás and ask him to bring Pilar up right away. She’s had five babies, and helped deliver dozens more.’

  A tiny moment of shock, then he said quickly, ‘The baby’s coming?’

  She nodded. ‘A couple of weeks early.’

  ‘Get your things. I’ll drive you,’ he told her firmly, taking charge. But she knew better.

  ‘There won’t be time.’ She touched his arm. ‘Phone Pilar.’ She rode the next contraction, sweat dewing her face. She hadn’t thought it would happen so quickly.

  He gave her a brief but searching look and strode out of the room. He was back in moments.

  ‘They’re on their way. Also a doctor and midwife from the maternity unit.’ He took her hand. ‘Everything’s going to be fine. You’re not to worry.’

  She clung tightly to his fingers. The doctor and midwife wouldn’t be here in time, but everything would be fine as long as Jed was with her. ‘You do love me?’ she gasped, her eyes darkening with the ferocity of the contractions that were coming so close together now. ‘That’s the only thing that might worry me.’

  ‘More than my life!’ He cupped her face with his hands. ‘I’ve never stopped. Whatever happens, I’ll always love you. You have to believe that.’

  She did, oh, she did! She smiled for him radiantly. ‘That goes for me, too. So the only problem we have is how to get me to the bedroom.’

  ‘Easy.’ His face soft with loving concern, he lifted her in his arms and carried her there, and laid her gently on the bed.

  ‘And not even out of breath,’ she teased. ‘A man who can carry something the size of a baby elephant has to be hero material!’ She heaved herself to her feet again. ‘It’s better that I keep walking. Help me into a robe, would you, Jed?’

  He did, loving care in everything he did, and she caught the tiny flicker of relief in his eyes when Pilar stumped into the room, carrying an armful of towels. She lifted her hand and touched the side of his face. ‘Everything’s going to be fine.’

  ‘Naturally!’ Pilar said firmly. ‘It happens all time! Tomás is boiling water.’ Her eyes didn’t leave Elena; she was timing contractions. She nodded her head briskly. ‘I collect things we need. Soon you will want to push. I will be back.’

  Soon, very soon now. Elena knew it. ‘There’s something you should know, my darling. About Liam—’

  ‘Shush.’ He laid a finger across her lips, his eyes soft. ‘He doesn’t matter. If you’re concerned about him, and want to help him get back on his feet, I’ll track him down and return the money. I had no right to take it from him in the first place.’

  ‘No,’ she huffed. ‘Will you listen to me for once?’ Physical pain didn’t make her feel sorry for herself; it made her cross. ‘I didn’t give him the equivalent of ten thousand pounds because I wanted to, dammit! It was what he demanded. Blackmail. Hand it over—’ she panted ‘—or he’d blacken my name through the tabloids. And by—association—yours—and Nolan’s. I knew you’d say let—let him do his worst. I didn’t want that. Didn’t mind about me. Did about you. Kept it from you. Hated it. Oh, my God!’

  Her baby was very anxious to be born. Pilar was there. She took over. Helped her to the bed. It was all happening. Jed held her hand, stroked her forehead, murmured reassurances and loving words of praise.
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  Then he said, with a catch in his voice, ‘This baby is like its father. Impatient. Sam’s child. Sam could never contain himself, even when he was very young. If he wanted to do something he wanted to do it now. Wanted to climb a particular tree, then he’d hare right up it. Wanted to see if he could climb up on the roof to see if the chimneys were wide enough for Santa to climb down, then off he’d set. My parents had to watch him all the time; that’s why he wasn’t sent away to school.’ He refreshed the cloth he’d been using to cool her brow in a bowl of lavender water. ‘Physically, he was a weak child. But he had enough spirit for ten. Left to his own devices he’d have burned himself out.’

  ‘You didn’t mind?’ she managed, hanging onto his hand, sure she was mangling it.

  ‘For a time, yes, I did mind. I believed I’d been pushed out in favour of the new baby. Frankly, I resented him. Right up until I was around fifteen or sixteen. By that time I was able to understand more. And you were right. When I knew you were carrying Sam’s child the old resentment did come back. But not for long. I was wrong—about him, about Liam,’ he said quickly. ‘If I’d known the creep was blackmailing you I’d have done a damn sight more than get your money back and threaten him.’

  Elena didn’t hear any more. Jed loved her, truly loved her, and all was right with her world. And she had a job to do, a great big whopping one by the feel of it

  And fifteen minutes later her baby daughter lay in her arms. Nine lusty pounds, with blue eyes and a mass of fine blonde hair.

  ‘She looks exactly like you. She even has your stubborn chin!’ Jed uncurled the tiny fingers. ‘And before you ask, no, I don’t give a damn if she isn’t biologically mine. In every other way she is, and always will be. Yours and mine.’

  Samantha Nolan’s sturdy legs were working like pistons as she climbed the last of the steps up from the garden. She’d been helping Tomás water the flowers and her dungarees were soaked.