Ruin (Dirty Secrets #3)

by Mercy Amare

  “And you know I run at five in the morning, right?”

  She nods again.

  “Wow. You must really love me.”

  “I do,” she says, frowning. “I can’t even imagine life without you. I keep thinking… if I get that scholarship to Florida, I’ll be so far from you. Unless you go to Florida too.”

  “I’ll probably go wherever my brother goes,” I say.

  “Which will probably also be where Jace goes.” She nudges me with her shoulder. “You two are so cute together. I can tell he really likes you. I’m glad you’re finally together.”

  “Me too,” I agree. “I just wish that we got together under better circumstances and not because some sick freak wanted to see me kiss him in front of the whole school.”

  Frannie gasps. “Oh my God, that’s it, Madi!”

  “What?” I ask.

  “It has to be somebody from school!”

  Realization hits me like a ton of bricks. “Seriously? Wow. Why didn’t we think of this before?”

  “But who could it be?”

  “I don’t know,” I answer. “I mean, the only person at our school mean enough is Dee. And she’s missing, so…”

  “I still think it could be her,” Frannie says. “I’m not okay with completely ruling her out.”

  “Me either.”

  She stands up. “I’m going to go talk to Cassidy about this. Let’s meet up tonight.”

  “I can’t,” I say, standing up with her. “I have a date with Jace.”

  “Aw,” she gushes. “Okay, let’s meet tomorrow morning at the cafe. I have to work, but I get a break around nine in the morning. We can have breakfast and just talk.”

  “Sounds good to me. I’ll be there.”

  At least, I hope I will.

  I really hope whoever this is doesn’t come after me.

  6pm

  I’m so joking.

  Tonight, I am wearing the same orange dress I wore on the first day of school. I happen to know that Jace loves this dress, and I want him to think I look good.

  I’ve also decided that I don’t want to talk about Daisy or Emma tonight… or Ben, for that matter. I am so sick of all the bad crap on my life, and I just want to forget for a little bit. Jace always helps me forget.

  When I walk downstairs, I am glad to find that Mom and Ben are nowhere to be seen.

  Jace is standing in the living room, and he grins big when he sees me.

  Trey hits his arm. “Hey, man. That’s my sister.”

  “Your sister is hot,” Jace tells him, never looking away from me.

  Trey makes a gagging noise.

  I finally look at Trey and see that he’s smiling. I’m glad that he’s finally okay with this. Not that I really care if he doesn’t want Jace and me together… I would be with him either way.

  “Where are you taking my sister?” Trey asks him as I walk up in front of them.

  Jace grabs my hand. “We are just going to see a movie and then to eat dinner.”

  “Don’t sit in the back,” Trey says to the both of us. “I’ve taken girls to the movies before, and I know what happens back there.”

  I wrinkle my nose. “Trey, gross. Not every guy takes a girl to the movies to fornicate.”

  Jace and Trey both laugh.

  “There will definitely be no fornicating tonight,” Jace says, still laughing.

  “Good,” Trey says.

  “And if there is, we definitely won’t tell you,” I say.

  Trey immediately stops laughing. “That’s so not funny, sis.”

  “I’m so joking.” Ha, yeah, I’m so not.

  We say goodbye to Trey and then head outside. I’m surprised to see Jace’s 1989 Ford truck sitting in the driveway. He holds my hand as we walk toward his truck. He opens the passenger side door for me and I get inside.

  Suddenly, I feel a little nervous.

  I’ve never been on a date before.

  It doesn’t matter that I’ve known Jace forever. It doesn’t matter that he’s already my boyfriend. All I can think about is What if I screw this up? What if after this date, he doesn’t like me anymore?

  But then Jace gets in the driver’s side, and he smiles at me, reminding me how much I really do like him.

  This is the boy that I’ve been in love with for thirteen years. He knows me — inside and out. He’s the only boy that my brother would trust to take me out on a date. He’s the only boy I would want to take me out on a date.

  Most of all, this is the boy who is crazy about me. He’s just in love with me as I am with him.

  “I’m kind of nervous,” he tells me, and then starts his truck. It turns over a few times before coming to life with a loud roar.

  “I am too,” I admit. “But there is no reason to be.”

  “I keep wondering how I got so lucky,” he says. “Like I keep expecting to wake up only to find out that this has all been a dream. Or I expect to realize that you made a mistake. I’ve had this crush on you for so long that this just doesn’t seem real.”

  I love the honesty and sincerity that I hear in his voice.

  “That’s not going to happen,” I say, quickly. “Actually, I’ve been worried about the same thing in reverse. Like maybe you are going out with me because you feel sorry for me. I mean, I did kind of pressure you by writing you a song and kissing you in front of the entire school.”

  Jace glances from the road to me. “That day that you kissed me — I was in shock. I was trying to convince myself that you were in love with somebody else and that I should let you go. I mean, I’ve been pining over you for a long time. It was getting kind of pathetic.”

  “I wish you would’ve come to me a lot sooner. Or that I would’ve come to you… I mean, I kind of feel stupid. We’ve wasted a lot of time.”

  “I do too,” he says. “But I have to believe that the timing was perfect. Plus, now we have an awesome story to tell our kids and grandkids.”

  I laugh. “Jace, you can’t talk like that. You’re going to curse our relationship before we even really get started.”

  “I’m not allowed to talk about the future?”

  “Not when we haven’t even been dating a week.”

  “I’m pretty sure going slow is going to be impossible with you,” he says. “I’ve wanted this for so long, Mads. You’re my girlfriend. Now that I have you, I fully intend to never let you go. You’re stuck with me. Forever.”

  “I do like the sound of forever.” My heart is beating so fast against my chest, and my stomach feels like it’s dropped to my toes. How is it possible to even feel like this?

  “How do you feel about me?” he asks.

  “I— what?”

  “How do you feel about me? When you look at me… when you kiss me…” his voice trails off.

  I take a deep breath.

  And then let it out.

  How am I supposed to tell him without sounding like a complete freak?

  “Do you remember when we were fourteen and you came with my grandma, Trey, and me to Hawaii on vacation?” I ask.

  He nods. “How could I forget? You wore that hot pink bikini, and your boobs… man, I had a hard on the whole trip.”

  I giggle. “Jace!”

  “Just being honest.”

  I bite my lip and shake my head at him. “Well, do you remember the day we went cliff-diving?”

  “Of course. You were scared to death, but you just ran and jumped. You were so brave.”

  “When I look at you, that is how I feel,” I tell him. “It’s like I’m looking from the top of the cliff at the crashing waves. My stomach is full of butterflies, and I’m nervous, but more than nervous. I am excited. You make my head spin. You make my palms sweaty. But I’m not scared to jump — not when it comes to you. I have that feeling of free-falling. I don’t think that feeling will ever go away, and I don’t want it to.”

  “Good,” he says. “Because I don’t want it to go away either.”

  “So, did you mean
what you said earlier?” I ask.

  “Which part?”

  “The no fornicating part.”

  Jace glances over at me and groans. “Madi, do you have any idea how sexy you are?”

  My face warms. “Um…”

  “I want to go slow with you, but you’re making it very hard.”

  Hard?

  I can’t help it, I laugh.

  “I am glad to know that I make it… hard.”

  Jace laughs. “Well, that too.”

  “Did you really have no clue how I felt about you?” I ask him.

  “Really, I didn’t.”

  “What did you think about all the flirting, the prolonged dreamy stares and sex jokes?”

  “God, I don’t know,” he answers. “You’ve just always been that way with me, and me with you. I guess I just thought that was our normal.”

  “Well, I am definitely not like this with anybody else.”

  “Did you know that I liked you?” he asks.

  “Looking back, yeah. It was kind of obvious,” I answer. “But I was afraid of rejection. There was always the what if in my mind.”

  “Do I live up to the fantasy?”

  “Fantasy?”

  “Yeah. I mean, I’m sure you imagined what it would be like when we got together. Do I live up?” he asks.

  “Jace, how am I supposed to answer that? It’s kind of an embarrassing question.”

  “Am I a good kisser?”

  I nod. “Yeah. I think you’re awesome. But then again, I haven’t kissed anybody besides you, so…”

  “Right,” he says, grinning at me. “You know, I really like that we will be each other’s first everything. And last.”

  “Me too.”

  “You don’t think it’s weird that I’m a seventeen year old virgin?”

  “Considering I am too, no,” I tell him. “Besides, you were waiting for me. That’s pretty much the hottest thing ever.”

  “You’re kind of perfect.”

  “Kind of?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

  “Hey, I’ve known you thirteen years. I know all your flaws,” he says.

  “Like what?”

  “You’re a really good liar. Even Trey can’t figure out when you’re lying,” Jace says.

  “But you always know.”

  “I can tell when you’re about to lie, but that’s because I pay an unhealthy amount of attention to you. Also, you are really good at getting your way. You have a way with words… it’s like you manipulate people without even realizing it.”

  Those aren’t really bad traits to have.

  Well, I guess good at lying is. But it’s also handy.

  “You’re not so perfect either,” I say, jokingly.

  “I’d love to hear this.” He takes the turn into the parking lot of the restaurant.

  “First off, you’re stubborn—”

  He cuts me off as he pulls into a parking spot. “You’re one to talk.”

  I laugh. “You’re right, but at least I admit it. And no more interrupting.”

  “Okay. Sorry. Continue.”

  “You keep your feelings bottled up. You never let anybody know how you truly feel. You say I’m a good liar, but you are too. You have a mask,” I tell him. “But I can read your eyes. So I know.”

  Jace unbuckles my seatbelt and scoots me closer to him. “This is why I know that you’re the girl I’m going to marry.”

  “Why?” I ask, hoping that he can’t hear how hard my heart is beating.

  “Besides the fact that you’re desperately in love with me… you know me better than anybody else. You see me. I swear, sometimes I think you know me better than I know me,” he says. “Also, because I’d rather have my heart ripped apart with a machete than spend the rest of my life without you.”

  “That’s violent.”

  “I love you, Madi. So freaking much.”

  “I love you too, Jace.”

  “Does it freak you out that I tell you I’m going to marry you?” he asks.

  I shake my head. “No way, because I feel the exact same way.”

  “Good.” Jace kisses me gently on the lips for just a second, then backs away. “Let’s go get some food.”

  12am

  Forever?

  After a very long goodnight kiss from Jace, I am now standing against the living room door with my hand over my heart. It’s beating so fast and hard — really, it has been like this all night long.

  I am so in love with Jace Axel William.

  “About time.”

  I jump when I hear Trey’s voice.

  “Did you have a good night?” he asks.

  “Have you been waiting up for me?”

  “You’re my sister. Of course I have.”

  I shake my head at him. “Well, I had an amazing night. Jace was a complete gentleman. All he did was hold my hand and give me a kiss.”

  And earth shattering kiss.

  The kind of kiss that changes lives… at least, it changed my life.

  “You really like him, don’t you?”

  “I love him,” I answer automatically.

  He groans.

  “Trey, I am so serious. I love him. A lot.”

  “I know you do. You always have,” he says. “I guess I just hoped you two would wait a few more years.”

  “Because thirteen years wasn’t long enough?”

  He laughs. “I just assumed you two would be older. I actually figured that one day you two would fly to Vegas and come back married.”

  “If we were old enough, I’d definitely marry him.”

  “Yeah, okay. Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this now. I’m so not ready for you to even think about getting married.”

  “How did everything go tonight?” I ask.

  “Fine. Ben stayed in Mom’s room — like always.”

  “I wonder what he does in there.”

  “I don’t think we want to know,” he says. “He probably watches porn.”

  “Ew.”

  “I’m glad you had fun tonight. I’m going to go to bed now. I’m tired.”

  I push myself off the door. “Me too.”

  We walk up the stairs together. We both tell each other goodnight before walking into our own rooms. I change into my pajamas and check my phone before I go to sleep. I have a text from Jace.

  <3 Jace: I had fun tonight.

  Me: I did too :)

  <3 Jace: Just so you know, I am thinking about you… Wishing you were here. I want to hold you while I go to sleep.

  Me: That sounds perfect. But if I were there, I’d want to do a lot more than cuddle.

  <3 Jace: You just made it worse.

  Me: LOL, sorry.

  <3 Jace: You are so not sorry.

  Me: No, I’m not ;)

  <3 Jace: I want another goodnight kiss.

  Me: My heart is STILL beating fast from our last kiss.

  <3 Jace: I love that I affect you like that :)

  Me: Ditto.

  <3 Jace: How is it possible to love somebody so much?

  Me: I don’t know… but I’m glad you feel this way. God, I feel like I’m dreaming right now.

  <3 Jace: If this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up. But I’m pretty sure that not even my sub conscious could dream up something as amazing as your lips.

  Me: <3

  <3 Jace: Goodnight, Madi. I love you.

  Me: Good night. I love you too.

  <3 Jace: Forever?

  Me: Forever.

  Monday, September 1

  No cheating.

  After my early morning run, I meet Cassidy and Frannie at the diner that Frannie and her mom works at. When I get there, Cassidy is waiting in a booth in the back. Frannie still has a few minutes until her break, so I sit with Cassidy.

  “How are you?” I ask her.

  I haven’t seen her since Emma went missing. Cassidy is definitely the emotional one out of all of us. I know she has to be taking this hard.

  “I feel guilty,” she
answers. “I should’ve gone to the police like you wanted. If we would have, Emma never would’ve disappeared.”

  “You can’t blame yourself,” I say. “It’s not your fault. Even Detective Condie told me that he knows why we didn’t come to him. It was scary. And while I know we made the wrong decision, we can’t regret it. The cops are going to find them. Daisy and Emma are going to be returned to us. Safely.”

  She sighs. “You’re right, Mads.”

  Before I can say anything else, Frannie comes over with three plates full of food. My stomach growls as I look down at the steam coming off the biscuits and chocolate gravy. My favorite.

  I smile at Frannie. “I love you.”

  She laughs. “I know.”

  I take a big bite of my food. It burns my tongue, but I don’t even care.

  “So. Good,” I say with a mouth full of food. Forget table manners.

  “Luke is throwing another party tonight,” Frannie says.

  My eyes widen. “Is he forgetting that somebody was kidnapped last time he threw a party?”

  “Please, you know Luke hates Emma,” Cassidy says. “He’s probably throwing this party to celebrate the fact that she’s missing.”

  “Actually, I didn’t. Why does he hate her?”

  “Because she turned him down,” Frannie answers. “I thought everybody knew.”

  “Emma turned down Luke?” I ask, still not believing it. Emma doesn’t turn guys down. Actually, girls don’t turn down Luke either.

  “Yeah. In front of everybody. He asked her to homecoming our sophomore year and she laughed in his face,” Frannie says. “She was actually kind of rude about the whole thing… told him he was the last guy she would ever want to go to homecoming with.”