Cross My Heart

by Phyllis Halldorson

  They quickly removed their clothes and headed for the bathroom, but they made it only as far as the bed.

  It was midnight before they got that shower, and by morning they had to do it all over again.

  For the next ten days, Clint was so caught up in legislative sessions during the day and campaigning evenings and weekends that Elyse saw little of him until the election the first week in June. He called Elyse every day, though, and she watched his campaign ads on television. The few times they were together were hurried and frustrating, and she clearly understood why he'd wanted to postpone their engagement announcement until things settled down. She had a lot to learn about being a politician's wife.

  When the votes were finally in and counted, Clint retained his Senate seat with a wide margin to spare. The party at his campaign headquarters on election night began early and went on until the wee hours of the morning; and Elyse had never seen anything like it. It was the first time she'd attended a major political event with Clint, and she attracted a lot of attention.

  The crush was a little frightening, but Elyse smiled a lot and managed to answer questions without really saying anything. Paul and Liz were there, receiving congratulations and best wishes on their recent marriage, but Clint was the star of the show. Elyse was surprised by his public presence. He was skilled in projecting just the image he wanted. Tonight it had been confidence and, once it became obvious he'd won, gratitude and happiness.

  In public he appeared to be gregarious. He talked with anyone who approached him, posed for pictures, allowed himself to be interviewed by the news media and supplied food and drinks for everyone—a contrast to the quiet, retiring man Elyse had come to know. She suspected that maintaining two different personalities must be a strain, and she vowed to do all she could to keep things running smoothly for him at home once they were married.

  Immediately after the primaries, Paul and Liz left on a delayed honeymoon to Europe and Clint started campaigning for the general election. His opponent was a well-known and well-liked rancher in the district. The man's rugged good looks and down-home manner appealed to the other ranchers, farmers and small-business people who made up a large portion of the population, and Clint was worried.

  It was a week before he brought up the subject of the engagement announcement party. Elyse had cooked dinner for him that Tuesday evening, and after they'd put Janey to bed they settled down on the couch in the family room.

  Following a long, intimate kiss he snuggled her against him. "Honey, I talked to Mom today. She and Dad are coming home next week for a stopover before going on to the summer place at Tahoe. She says if you'd like, she'd be happy to help with plans for the announcement party, and she hopes you'll have it at the house."

  Elyse had talked to the Sterlings on the phone once or twice, and they'd seemed friendly and polite. "I'm glad they're coming," she said. "I'm anxious to meet them, and I'll be forever grateful for your mother's help. Did you have a date in mind?"

  They settled on a Saturday night in mid-July, three weeks away. Much later, when Clint was leaving, he turned to her. "Oh, I almost forgot. Bill Ogden stopped in my office today to invite us to a swimming party and barbecue at their house Sunday afternoon. Nothing elaborate, just a few couples. I told him I'd ask you and let him know tomorrow."

  Elyse smiled. "Sure. Sounds like fun. I've been hoping we'd see the Ogdens again soon. Maybe Reba can give me pointers on how a senator's wife should behave."

  Clint chuckled and put his hand inside her pink cotton robe to fondle her breast. "If you'd like to go back upstairs with me I'll be happy to show you how I want this senator's wife to behave."

  "You're insatiable," she said with a grin. "Besides, you told me you have an early morning appointment."

  He grimaced and removed his restless hand. "Ah, yes, my constituents. Can't get elected without them." He kissed her and left.

  On Sunday Elyse dressed in white slacks and a tank top with a multicolored oversize shirt worn loose over it. Janey had gone home after church with the family of one of her friends from Sunday school, with plans to stay overnight.

  Elyse leaned against the leather seat in Clint's car as the Cadillac streaked down the freeway. Clint held her hand against his denim-covered thigh, and music from the stereo system literally surrounded them.

  She was happy and content. The world was bright and beautiful, and her ghosts had been laid to rest. Clint loved her, they were making plans for their engagement party and he had tentatively broached the possibility of an August wedding and a two-week honeymoon in Hawaii before the last hectic weeks of the campaign and the November election.

  For now, she was eagerly looking forward to an afternoon of swimming and feasting with Bill and Reba Ogden and their guests—and she was pleased at the opportunity to meet more of Clint's friends from the legislature.

  There were several luxury cars parked in front of the Ogdens' home when they drove up, and Elyse reached for the beach bag that contained her new black one-piece bathing suit, which exposed a great deal more than it hid. As they approached the house they heard music coming from the backyard, and Clint took her arm and led her down a flagstone path through a profusely blooming flower garden along the side of the house.

  They heard voices as they got closer, and when they rounded the back corner of the building they stepped onto a wide, covered patio that ran the width of the house. The music was coming from speakers mounted under the overhang, and there were several casually clad men and women gathered in a cluster on the tiled area by the kidney-shaped swimming pool. Numerous round tables and chairs were strategically placed for informal dining, and Elyse noticed a bathhouse on the far side of the pool. The rest of the huge lot was covered with carpetlike green lawn, flowering bushes and massive old shade trees.

  At first they moved toward the group unnoticed, but then Bill caught sight of them. "Clint," he called, starting in their direction. But he didn't look very welcoming. There was no smile, and if Elyse hadn't known better she'd have thought he was intent on heading them off.

  "Hi," Clint said happily. "Sorry we're a little late."

  The rest of the cluster of people turned almost as one and stared. The sound of happy voices stopped so abruptly that it left a total silence, broken only by the lilting melody of the string section of a symphony orchestra in the background.

  Clint stopped and looked around, perplexed. It was Bill who finally spoke. "Clint, we have an unexpected… um… that is…"

  Elyse had never seen anyone quite so flustered, and she knew this had to be out of character for the suave, unflappable Senator William Ogden. A cold feeling of dread blew across the back of her neck, and she blinked as a tall blond woman with sapphire eyes and beautifully chiseled features separated herself from the group and came toward them.

  "Hello, Clint," she said in a throaty whisper that raised the goose bumps on Elyse's flesh.

  She felt him jerk with surprise beside her, and the hand that held her arm clenched with such force that she almost cried out.

  For a few interminable seconds he just stood there. When he spoke, it was in a voice dead with shock. "Hello, Dinah."

  Chapter Ten

  Clint's face had lost every trace of color, and his skin seemed to be stretched taut across the bones beneath. He and Dinah Jefferson, the woman who'd rejected his love and caused him such grief, looked at each other with gazes that seemed to devour each of them, yet melded them into one being.

  There was a roar in Elyse's head that drowned out everything else, and for a moment she thought she was going to fall. Then an arm around her waist steadied her, and Reba's voice whispered in her ear. "Hang in there. Now smile and come with me."

  Elyse hoped the grimace she made would be construed as a smile, and she moved with Reba, although she had to break Clint's unconsciously tight hold on her arm first.

  Reba's strong arm was the only thing holding Elyse up as they walked toward the house. Reba slid the glass doors back and ushered
her inside, but some imp in Elyse made her turn back in time to see Clint and Dinah come together in an embrace that spoke more eloquently than words ever could.

  The pain that attacked her and held her prisoner was icy, and she wondered why hell was always referred to as hot.

  Reba saw, too, and quickly tugged Elyse away from the door and down a hall to a room that was obviously an office. Still in shock, Elyse sank bonelessly down on the leather couch and let the world whirl around her.

  She was roused a minute later by Reba, who put a small crystal glass half full of amber liquid in her hand. "Here," she said. "Drink this."

  Elyse was shaking so badly the liquor sloshed. She gripped the glass with both hands and raised it to her lips. The swallow she took was smooth and the liquor slid down her throat before she realized it was whiskey. She took another gulp, then set the glass down on the table in front of her. "Was this your idea of a joke?" she asked, still too shaken for anger.

  "Good Lord, no!" Reba replied. "Please believe me. We had no idea Dinah was even in the country, let alone Sacramento. She showed up just minutes before you did. There was no time to get rid of her—or to warn Clint. She was surprised we had company and started to leave, but the others spotted her and insisted she stay."

  Reba took a sip of her own drink. "Elyse, I'm almost certain she didn't know Clint was coming, and it's obvious he didn't know she was here."

  Yes, Clint hadn't known Dinah would be here. He certainly would never have brought Elyse if he had. She wondered how long it would take him to remember that she was with him now.

  She picked up her glass of whiskey and took another swallow. It broke up some of the chilling coldness in her and calmed her a little. At least it made her head stop spinning so she could talk.

  "Would you please call a cab for me?" she asked.

  Reba looked startled. "I'll take you anywhere you want to go, but if you run away you're going to provide everyone here with enough juicy gossip to keep them weaving tales for years. You can bet that everyone noticed Dinah's not wearing a wedding ring. If you're serious about Clint you'd better be prepared to fight for him."

  "Serious about him!" Elyse started to laugh, but there was no humor in it. "How can I be serious about him—" she stopped as the laughter again erupted "— when his true love… has just come back… to claim him?" She was gasping with hysterical mirth. Reba couldn't know how serious she was, or that she and Clint had been making plans to announce their engagement.

  Reba grasped her by the shoulders and shook her. "Stop it, Elyse. Get a hold on yourself. You can't fall to pieces now."

  Elyse took a deep breath and the hysteria subsided. "I'm sorry," she said, and ran her hand through her hair. "I don't seem to be handling this very well."

  Reba hugged her. "You're doing just fine, love. A whole lot better than I would be if it were Bill." She finished her drink. "Why in hell did Dinah have to come back here?"

  "Maybe she missed Clint as much as he missed her."

  Reba turned her head to look at Elyse closely. "You've got it bad, haven't you?"

  Elyse was too undone to attempt a lie; she just nodded.

  Reba muttered an indelicate oath, and seconds later Clint's voice boomed down the hall, calling Elyse's name.

  Elyse brought her feet up onto the couch in front of her and wrapped her arms around her legs as she buried her face in her knees. "Oh, God," she wailed.

  Reba jumped up to head Clint off, but she was too late. The door opened and he walked in, looking distraught. "Reba, have you seen—"

  His gaze moved to the couch. "Elyse!" He walked over to sit beside her. "Honey, don't," he said, and took her in his arms.

  She didn't lift her head or change position, but sat stiffly in his embrace. Reba slipped quietly out of the room and closed the door.

  "I've been looking all over for you." His voice was low and strained. "I couldn't find you anywhere. I was afraid…"

  He didn't attempt to continue, but rocked her gently back and forth as she slowly began to relax and uncurl. She put her feet back on the floor and leaned against him. He was so strong and yet so tender. She could feel his heart beat against her cheek.

  She closed her eyes and tried not to think. Outside she could hear the music—now an old Cole Porter tune— and the muffled sound of voices, punctuated by an occasional splash as someone dived into the pool.

  Why had Dinah Jefferson come back? As far as Elyse knew she didn't have relatives in the area. Had she decided she wanted to marry Clint, after all? How did he feel about her reappearance? Shocked, obviously, but did he still love her? Want her?

  Of course he did. He'd practically said as much when he'd told Elyse about their affair, but he'd been convinced that Dinah was lost to him forever. Elyse had known when she'd agreed to marry Clint that she wasn't the great love of his life, but she'd been willing to gamble that they could be happy together.

  All that had been less than an hour ago. Now, in the blink of an eye, everything had changed. If she lost him she didn't think she could bear it, but neither could she marry him if he was in love with someone else.

  Oh, God, why me? I've been through this once. I lost a man I loved five years ago. Isn't that enough? Am I fated to keep repeating the experience all the days of my life?

  A sob tore through her, and Clint's arms tightened. "It's all right, honey," he said soothingly. "Everything will be all right. Do you want to leave?"

  Yes, of course she wanted to leave. She wanted to run as far away as she could get and never have to face the facts of life and love and other women.

  But Reba had effectively blocked that escape. She'd been right when she'd pointed out that leaving now would only cause Elyse more humiliation. At least if she stayed and brazened it out nobody would have to know about her hopes and dreams where Clint was concerned.

  For the first time she was grateful that he had been reluctant to announce their engagement. She couldn't have gone through the experience of calling off another wedding. No woman should have to do that more than once in a lifetime.

  She got a firm grip on her shattered emotions and pulled away from Clint. "No," she said, "we might as well stay, unless you'd prefer not to."

  He looked surprised. "Whatever you want is all right with me."

  She stood, praying her legs were steadier than they had been when she'd sat down. They were. "If you'll tell me where I can find a bathroom, I'll freshen up a little and then we'll join the others."

  When she rejoined Clint she'd combed her hair and done what she could to hide the despair that ravaged her eyes. She forced a smile and took his arm. "I guess you'd better introduce me to Dinah," she said, and tugged him toward the patio.

  Elyse recognized the other three couples as people she'd met at Clint's headquarters the night of the election, and she nodded and said hello as he led her through them to the stunning blonde in the elegantly tailored blue dress that exactly matched her eyes.

  Dinah watched them as they approached. "Dinah," Clint said, "I'd like you to meet Elyse Haley. Elyse is my—"

  "I'm his sister-in-law," Elyse broke in quickly. "His brother, Paul, married my sister, Liz, last month."

  Clint's eyes narrowed, and a frown creased his forehead as Dinah smiled. "Oh, yes, I'd heard that Paul was married. I'm pleased to meet you, Elyse."

  There was a husky timbre to her voice that was unaffected and incredibly sexy. Elyse wished she'd taken the easy way out and left. "Thank you." She hoped her own voice wouldn't waver. "I understand you've been gone for several years. Are you visiting, or are you back for good?"

  Elyse's stomach was tied in knots, but she was going to get some information while she could still do it under the guise of an interested newcomer to the ranks. She had to know Dinah's plans.

  "Well, I'm not sure." Dinah glanced at Clint before she continued. "I've taken a month's vacation from the American Embassy in Paris, where I work. I've been… homesick… lately, and I decided to come back and reassess my
priorities."

  Elyse felt Clint tense beside her, and for a moment she was afraid she was going to be sick. She'd learned one important thing about herself in the past few minutes. She was no match in the game of wits with Clint's former fiancée. She wasn't sophisticated or mature or tough enough to spar with this woman. If Dinah wanted Clint, Elyse was pretty sure that all Dinah had to do was beckon and he'd follow, but Elyse was damned if she was going to make it easy for the other woman.

  She squeezed Clint's arm against her side and looked up at him with a smile. "I distinctly remember your promising me a swim this afternoon," she said.

  "You bet I did." He grinned down at her. "And you promised to wear a new and risqué bathing suit." He took her hand. "Last one in is a rotten egg." They ran to the bathhouse, leaving Dinah watching after them.

  By the time they'd finished swimming Dinah was gone.

  The tension eased after that, and Elyse made a determined effort to appear lighthearted and happy. Dinner was served, and afterward there was dancing on the patio and around the pool.

  Clint seemed relaxed and held Elyse close, humming in her ear as they moved to the rhythm of the music. For a while she could almost forget that her future had just been destroyed, and enjoy being in his arms.

  The tension between them returned when they got in the car and started home. For a while neither spoke. Elyse was tongue-tied. With the specter of Dinah hanging over her she wasn't up to small talk, but neither could she handle a full-fledged confrontation about the other woman. She needed time to get her scattered wits about her and think.

  Clint apparently didn't feel the same way. He waded right into the subject. "Elyse, why did you interrupt when I was about to tell Dinah you're my fiancée?"

  Elyse shivered. "I didn't want it announced that way. Actually, I didn't want it announced at all."

  Clint turned his head to look at her. "Just what's that supposed to mean?" he growled.

  "It means I don't intend to announce our engagement until I'm damn sure there's going to be a wedding," she snapped, unstrung by his harsh tone.