The Not

by A. R. Braun

  He passed the Intel building. It imploded, falling to the ground in a fury of broken glass and shattered walls. A noxious cloud of black smoke wafted into the air.

  Oh. God, my job! My life! Thank God Fay’s in Albuquerque.

  “Thank who? You’d better watch it, bitch! You even try to perform that ritual, and I’ll kill you along with them. You want to die now?”

  “Not… hardly!” Don’s voice had become a tenor for the terror.

  He raced to the interstate turnoff, then took it and sped out of town. Rain poured down, but didn’t put out any fires. Behind him in the rear-view mirror, Rio Rancho went up in a huge black mushroom cloud of destruction.

  Don raced for Albuquerque.

  Oh, my God, what have I done?

  CHAPTER 13

  Don lost it as he caught a last glimpse of the burning city behind him in the rear-view mirror. “You motherfucker! You insidious, murdering son of a bitch! You killed the whole town! You lied, you bastard, you sack of fucking shit! I should’ve listened to Running Bear and not you, you piece of garbage!”

  “Calm down.”

  “No, you twisted tyrant! You fuck! Shut up! Quit talking to me!”

  “Calm down or I’ll kill Fay too!”

  The words strangled in Don’s throat.

  “So I lied. Can’t a God have some fun? It’s boring atop those mountains.”

  Don refused to talk to the thing. The angry sun came out from behind the clouds and blinded him. He pulled down the sun visor.

  “Don? Oh, Donny Boy?”

  He shook his head and kept driving. No way. I’m not talking to that piece of shit. I hate him I hate him I hate him.

  “You can’t perform the ritual. You’ll lose Fay. I moved her to Albuquerque before I destroyed Rio Rancho as a courtesy to you.”

  Don sighed. “That was mighty white of you.” The gorgeous mountaintops, the desert’s buttes and mesas, along with the sagebrushes, and cacti normally would’ve taken his breath away, but not after what he’d just seen. He whipped out his cell phone and dialed Fay’s number.

  “You’re the one who’s white, paleface.” The Not snickered. “You know what you could do? Take Fay back to Illinois, and let me have Albuquerque.”

  Don laughed ruefully.

  The nerve of that asshole.

  “Come on, let me have it. I promise I’ll wipe it out before Testament gets into town.”

  Fay’s face and number lit up his smartphone as it rang a few times.

  Oh shit. What am I gonna tell her? Fay’s house is toast!

  “Hi, Donny.” She sounded tired.

  He took a deep breath. “Are you — ”

  “Hold on.” Twisted technological impersonations of real sounds trickled through the static. “I had to get out of that room. My uncle’s taken a bad turn, and they’re praying like holy rollers. Hey, why aren’t you at work? You said you had a job at Intel, right?”

  Don was nonplussed as tears formed in his eyes. He gathered his courage. “I’m afraid I’ve got some, uh, bad news.”

  Nurses talked in the background, worrying each other about something. Don could guess what.

  “Doesn’t the hospital waiting room have a TV? Fay? Hello?”

  A beep rang out, and the connection went dead.

  “Fuck!” Don pulled off the road. A couple of tumbleweeds passed as he hit redial. “You better not have hurt her, you bastard!”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it. The ties that bind, remember?”

  Don got her voicemail. He slammed the smartphone down on the passenger seat. “Shit! Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

  “Just drive to the Presbyterian hospital, loverboy. She’ll live. They turned the TV off right before they prayed for her uncle. The nurses just gave her the news about Rio Rancho. Now, how do you want to play this? Should I take her away from you, or are you going to keep worshiping me?”

  Don hit the steering wheel half a dozen times. “No, no, no! Never, ever again! In your dreams, you buzzard fuck!”

  The Not laughed insanely. “I’ll give you some time to calm down. You’ve got twenty-four hours to decide. Tomorrow morning, if you still won’t worship me, Fay will leave you for another. Mull it over. And hey, I know you’re broken up about this Rio Rancho thing. Wish I could say I was sorry, but I can’t — it was too damn fun!

  I bid you adieu.”

  The roof bent inward and there was a pop accompanied by the sound of large flapping wings. Don lay his head against the steering wheel and let the tears come, for Fay’s mother’s house, for all the people in Rio Rancho and for his lost career and home.

  ***

  After stopping at a clothing store and buying new trousers, a dress shirt and a sport coat (the employees had held their noses and complained of the smell of a slaughterhouse), Don found Fay in a waiting room in ICU. She chewed her nails and stared at the TV, but her eyes obviously stared into nowhere. Don wrinkled his nose at the antiseptic smell of the hospital. Fay’s mother sat talking to a man in glasses with gray streaks in his black hair, his paunch sagging over his belt. Don walked over to Fay. She snapped her head up at him, bounded up and hugged him, crying all the while. The scent of her perfume lifted his spirits.

  “Oh, Donny, I’m so glad you’re all right.” Fay held him tighter before breaking the embrace. “They’re saying the Chinese might have nuked us, but the commies are denying it. It could be the Taliban, they said. Revenge for killing Osama Bin Laden.”

  He stroked her soft hair and rubbed her back. “Shh, it’s all right. I’m here. Thank goodness you and your mother weren’t in town.”

  Fay gingerly pulled away from him. Her face was red, and her leaking eyes held a world of hurt. She dabbed them with a tissue and blew her nose. Fay took his hand, her soft and warm fingers empowering him as they squeezed around his strength. “Come sit down.”

  He followed her as far as the chairs. Don would’ve followed her anywhere. They sat together.

  Fay put her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I hung up on you. When the nurses told me about Rio Rancho, I dropped the phone. I couldn’t talk when… when… oh God.” She buried her face in his shirt and dampened it.

  The man with salt-and-pepper hair looked him over. Fay’s mother wiped her eyes with a tissue, caught Don spying and said to the gent sitting next to her, “This is the young man Fay’s been dating.” The middle-aged man said hello and introduced himself as Jim, Fay’s uncle. Don gingerly pulled away from Fay and rose, shaking with him and exchanging niceties.

  “Mom said we can stay with Uncle Jim,” Fay sobbed as he sat back down. Then she snapped her head toward Don with her brows furrowed. “Hey, how’d you get out? Did you know that was going to happen?”

  I have to get her alone before I fess up. “Have you eaten?”

  “No. Uncle Bob’s in surgery again. The prayers didn’t do much good.” Fay looked over her shoulder at her frowning mother. “I could use a bottled water, but I don’t think I could eat.”

  Don took her hand and helped her up. “Come on. I’ll buy.” He walked to the elevator with her.

  Fay looked over her shoulder. “We won’t be gone long, Mom. Do you want anything?”

  Her mother shook her head and resumed talking to Uncle Jim.

  The doors opened after a ding sound. They walked in, alone in the elevator.

  Fay said, “You didn’t answer my question. Did you know it was going to happen?”

  Don put an arm around her. “Let me at least get a cup of coffee first. Is that all right?”

  Fay sniffled, then nodded.

  Don brainstormed on how to break it to her. He had his work cut out for him.

  ***

  Don sipped his strong coffee while Fay left her bottled water unopened. The clatter and the chatter of cafeteria employees echoed off the white walls, the dining room mostly empty as far as customers. Many people were probably too freaked out over losing loved ones in Rio Rancho to have an appetite.

  Don met her sad eyes. �
�Have you had a feeling that things are coming together too easily lately?”

  Fay stared at him.

  “Like we met and — bam! Things worked out, after all that time we wasted alone or with lousy partners.”

  Fay’s sharp blue eyes practically had him in a trance. Don could go swimming in them, bloodshot or not. “What, you mean we’re supposed to be losers?” She put her hand over her mouth, looking up at him. She removed her hand. “Oh, your job! What are you going to — ”

  “Forget about that. There’ll be other jobs. The important thing is that we’re all right and we’re still together.”

  Fay put her face in her hands. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say. I can’t think too well right now. Oh, my God. All my stuff.” She wept again. “The family album my mom entrusted to me! My high-school cheerleading uniform! They’re irreplaceable.”

  Don put his hand on hers. “At least your family’s safe.”

  Fay blew her nose in a napkin, then nodded. “What if they nuke us here?”

  Don smiled. “Then we’ll die happy.”

  The words struck him. Then we’ll die happy. Next, the words of The Not: Tomorrow morning, if you still won’t worship me, Fay will leave you for another. Was Don such a hopeless romantic that he’d jeopardize the whole human race for love? Or was life even worth living without that special person who’d stolen your heart?

  Fay’s eyes pierced him. “What’s bothering you? I mean, I know you must be devastated too.”

  Don nodded ruefully.

  “But something’s eating you,” Fay continued. Finally, she opened her bottled water and pulled on it.

  “I don’t know how to break this to you,” Don answered, “but the way we came together so quickly wasn’t a coincidence. How we get each other, all the fun we have, it’s not happening by chance.”

  Fay frowned. “Huh? You’re not making sense.”

  Don looked at his hands.

  Fay pulled his chin up with her index finger. “Look at me when I’m talking to you. Just spit it out.”

  “All right.” Don sighed. “When I lived in Illinois, I wasn’t successful. I had an ex-wife that didn’t stay with me for long, and I never held a job for more than one or two years. I had a hard time meeting women. My enemies won all the battles, and I was bound from happiness. Then, when I moved here, things started going my way, amazingly so, miraculously so. Someone would piss me off, and they’d drop dead.”

  Fay furrowed her brow. “What?” Her eyes widened.

  Don shook his head. “It was only a few scumbags, and I didn’t have anything to do with it. Then, when I went to my interview at Intel, it was a slam-dunk. These powerful words poured out of my mouth that made the boss hire me, as if I was a ventriloquist’s dummy. They offered me a promotion in my first week.” Don sighed, but this time with love because he couldn’t take his eyes off her wet lips, her waterfall of hair and the ocean of her eyes. “Then you came along, a woman way out of my league. Things went swimmingly and never stopped.”

  Fay laughed. “Well, you’re studmuffins.”

  Don laughed also. “But I was never a stud before. Not for long, at least. And I was an atheist. Not now, but then I was. So I started asking at the hotel, ‘Who’s helping me?’ No answer. Then, the morning after we made love, he… revealed himself.”

  Fay became squinty-eyed. “Who revealed himself?”

  A male employee broke a dish in the kitchen and cussed up a storm. After taking out the trash, a couple of female employees walked by, talking about how horrible it was that Rio Rancho had been destroyed.

  Don took a few deep breaths. “The deity. I was wrong. There is a god.”

  Fay just looked at him for a few seconds. Then she shook her head and put her hands out. “But Jesus is God. Mom says.”

  Don nodded, then looked at his hands again. “When she prayed for your uncle Bob, it didn’t help though, like you said.” He met her stare.

  Fay’s eyes became wide. “Donny, I think you’ve been working too hard. I hate to say this, but are you delusional? Have you thought about seeing someone? A professional, I mean.”

  “I knew you would think that.” Don sighed. “Hon, I’m not mentally ill. You asked me why I got out of Rio Rancho before it was destroyed, and I’m telling you. I stood there, seeing the destruction unfold — it was so horrible — and I got out just in time because this god protected me.”

  Again, Fay looked at him.

  “He’s a Pueblo Indian deity who told me to call him ‘The Not’ because I was an atheist.”

  Fay sighed and shook her head, then fixed him with her eyes. “You mean you saw those people die?”

  Don nodded.

  Oh, my God,” Fay continued. “Then you need a shrink just from seeing that. Wait — it couldn’t have been nuclear because you would’ve melted. Again, this doesn’t make sense.”

  Don blew air through his nose. “If it was nuclear I’m pretty sure it would’ve wiped out some of the population of Albuquerque too. The Not made the buildings explode.”

  Fay furrowed her brow at him, then drained her bottled water. “What exactly did you see happening over there?”

  “I can’t tell you. I don’t want to risk you losing your sanity. It was that bad.”

  Fay frowned, putting the cap back on her water bottle. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, you’re right. If it was a nuclear blast, parts of Albuquerque would’ve been destroyed too. I don’t know what to think. It sounds insane.”

  Don stuck his hands out. “You think it doesn’t sound insane to me?”

  Fay studied him. “Let’s say you’re right, and there’s some Native American god pulling the strings. What happens now?”

  “Well…”

  Fay beckoned with her fingers. “Come on, come on, this is your girl. Out with it.”

  Don smiled. “You’re my girl? We’re going steady?”

  “Duh. I’m also saying if you’re right about this ‘god,’ I’m yours forever. Isn’t that the deal?”

  Don nodded.

  Fay cocked her head and frowned. “Wait a minute. You’re saying I wouldn’t have gone for you if it hadn’t been for this deity?”

  Don looked at his hands. “I guess not.”

  “So you used black magic on me?”

  Don raised his head and met her eyes. “No, no, I didn’t ask him to fix me up with you. It just happened. He was making himself known.”

  Fay leaned back in her chair. “That’s the biggest load of bullshit I ever heard. I’d go for you, god or no god, forever.” Her eyes darted toward the kitchen, then back at him. “Have you got a smoke? I could really use one right now.”

  Don nodded. With that they headed outside.

  ***

  Alfresco, Don and Fay sat in the smoking area under the maroon tarp. The bitter poison made him cough. Three female nurses sat and puffed at the opposite bench. Their conversation rang out, along with the din of traffic, the singing birds, ambulances and police sirens. The dry heat was exquisite and warmed Don up just enough from the hospital’s ridiculous amount of air-conditioning.

  Fay exhaled through her nose. A fit of coughing ensued. “Thanks for this, I think.” She hacked a bit more, then turned to him. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “You interrupted me,” Don answered.

  Fay flicked her hand a couple times, waving off his argument. “What happens now?”

  Don took a long drag, wishing it was a joint. He turned away from her and watched the people involved in commerce drive by. “I met a Native American that gave me supplies to banish the deity. They’re in my car. The Not says if I don’t keep worshiping him, I’ll lose you. You’ll go for another man… or woman.”

  At this she busted out laughing and hit him on the side. “A woman?” An uncontrollable fit of the giggles took her. “That’s… bullshi-hi-hit! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

  “Why? It could happen, couldn’t it?”

  Fay put her soft hand on his shoulde
r. “Oh, Donny, you watch too many porno movies. Contrary to popular belief, all women aren’t bisexual. I’m 100% straight and I always will be. That’s just male-fantasy stuff.”

  Don took a few more drags, then stubbed out his smoke. Apparently tuned in to the conversation, the nurses watched them. I’ll bet. This is better than Springer. “I think the point is that The Not could make you become a lesbian.”

  Fay struggled to hold her laughter in. “Donny, I need you to see a therapist. Will you do that for me?”

  “Why don’t you believe me? Like I said, if it would’ve been terrorists, some of Albuquerque would’ve been wiped out too. It’s not a coincidence that I got out alive. If I don’t worship that thing by tomorrow, our relationship will end.”

  Fay looked at him long and hard. “You really think I’m that dense, huh? That I’ll dump you for a rich guy or somethin? Well, I’m not, and I resent you thinking so. Maybe the nuclear blast couldn’t reach this far. Perhaps their weapons are weak. Promise me you’ll get help. Right now.”

  Defeated, Don said, “I promise.”

  The nurses lost interest and went back inside.

  Fay said, “We’re gonna wait it out. You’re not gonna pray to this fake god, and then, tomorrow morning, when I still love you, you’ll know you’re sick and need help.”

  “But what if you leave me and I have to worship him to get you back? Then will you believe me?”

  Fay snickered. “That’s ridiculous.”

  The sun shone so vehemently Don had to shade his eyes with his hands. Fay mimicked the gesture.