The Not

by A. R. Braun

  “Who was that?” Don asked. “I thought a middle-aged man was after us.”

  “Darned if I know,” Rick answered.

  “Why didn’t Michael the Archangel protect Uncle Jim?”

  The corners of Rick’s mouth dipped. “Probably because it’s better to be in heaven than to suffer. God didn’t stop Satan from killing the apostles.”

  Don nodded. “Let’s get you taken care of. We’ll let everyone know about Pishuni after.” He was too busy grieving to pay attention to the laughter in the distance.

  ***

  From a rooftop, Pishuni cackled, starting a thunderstorm that sent bolts of lightning near Don and his crew. This sent them running into a bar down the street.

  Can’t blame a god for trying.

  Pishuni allowed himself to revel in the death of his enemy.

  One down, four to go. Now to deal with Charles, that palefaced moron. I’ll tell that lackey he’d better hit them all next time, or I’ll send another servant to chop him to pieces.

  Pishuni took flight, following the Ferrari.

  CHAPTER 36

  Don sat in the waiting room at the ER with one arm around Fay and the other around Georgia. The latter was broken down, crying heavily into one tissue after another, occasionally blowing her nose. Fay sobbed quietly. Rick was being fixed-up by the ER doctor. There wasn’t much conversation.

  Don and company had been questioned because of Rick’s wound, and the police were on the lookout for the young shooter. Don didn’t have hope that they’d find the maniac, thanks to Pishuni, but it was a small consolation that they were at least seeking him out.

  The others waiting to be seen crowded around the television. The Rockies were working over the ChiSox in the last month of the regular season. Another bad year for the White Sox. It didn’t make Don sad he’d moved to this area. Occasional chatter came from the front desk. The whole room was painted a vivid white, making it seem like a foyer in heaven.

  “Poor Uncle Jim,” Fay said with a shaky voice. “I’ve lost two uncles in one year.”

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do without my brother,” Georgia added.

  Full of pity, Don looked at Georgia’s red face, slicked with tears. “I’m so sorry about Uncle Jim. You can live with Fay and me when we get on our feet.”

  “Yeah, Mom. We won’t leave you alone.”

  Georgia nodded, blowing her nose again. “Thank you.”

  Walking like a man with an attitude, Rick joined them in the waiting room. He stopped in front of them. He was clad in a bandage and had a sling on his left arm.

  “You all right there, buddy?” Don asked him.

  “I think I’ll live. Are all of you all right?”

  “As fine as we can be with an evil god and a serial killer hunting us,” Don answered.

  “I know, right?” Rick smiled.

  Fay rose to hug Rick. “Poor guy. You sure you’re okay?”

  A twinge of jealousy reared its ugly head.

  Oh, don’t be ridiculous. That kid saved our asses.

  Rick held his index finger and thumb half an inch apart. “I’m in just a little bit of pain. They doped me up and gave me a prescription.”

  “Oh, good,” Fay answered.

  “They took the bullet out, of course. I’ll be stuck with this bandage and sling for a while though. Thank God it didn’t hit a vital organ.”

  Georgia only sobbed. Concern for Rick seemed to halt her grief a bit. “You’re a brave young man, pushing me down so I wouldn’t get shot. You saved my life.”

  Rick shrugged. “Shucks, ma’am, twern’t nothin.”

  Fay let go of Rick, and he turned to Georgia, apparently realizing she needed a hug. He gave her one with his good arm and she let him. “Try not to grieve too much. Your brother’s in heaven. We’re the ones left to struggle.”

  When he released her, Georgia said, “Amen.”

  “We’d better get going.” Don stood and offered a hand to Georgia. She accepted it and rose. “I hate to add insult to injury, but since we’ve got a serial killer on our asses, we’d better call a cab and get a room at the Days Inn. I don’t think we’ll want to be walking. It’s raining balls anyway — pardon my French.” He looked at Rick. “We’re going to stop by an ATM and get the money for your laptop, the hacker’s pay and for your room. I was looking on the Internet on my cell phone. I’ll get you a room at the Quality Inn on Wolfensberger Road — they’ve got cheap rooms too — and cab fare. You sure you want to part ways?”

  Rick nodded. “You’ve got a family, man.” He looked at Fay and Georgia. “You all have suffered enough.”

  Fay put a comforting arm around Don’s waist. She lay her head on his shoulder. Georgia handed her some tissues and Fay raised her head and blew her nose. Then she leaned into his shoulder more, nuzzling him.

  “I’ll call the cab,” Don said. He got on the Internet yellow pages and looked up a hackie company in Castle Rock, then placed the call. He told them which hospital they were at, then he hung up. “I’m dying for a cigarette. I’m sure Fay is too.”

  “Is that a priority right now?” Fay asked.

  “You’re right, hon. I think we’d better wait and smoke in the cab. You never know where that nutcase will be.”

  Rick grinned. “I could smoke two at the same time.”

  “Got an extra one?” Georgia asked. “All this crap that’s going on, I might start sucking down two packs a day.”

  “They didn’t give me an extra one.” Rick laughed. “Just kidding.”

  “Oh.” Georgia seemed to attempt a chuckle.

  Fay couldn’t help letting out a laugh as she raised her head, but woe was in her eyes. Unlike Fay, Don restrained himself from snickering. They headed out to the foyer, looking intently through the glass… and watching for the murderer.

  ***

  Charles drove carefully, keeping the Ferrari at the speed limit. He crept away every time he saw a police car. He was starting to get paranoid, or was that good thinking?

  It’s not paranoia if everyone is out to get me.

  The Not appeared in the rearview mirror, making Charles jump. The deity’s eyes burned a hole into his black soul. “Hail, paleface,” the thundering voice of eons barked. “He of the feeble variety.”

  “Why you calling me a feeb’?” Charles asked. “I hit two of ‘em.”

  “You only winged the kid, the one who stole your truck. Now shut up and listen! They’re at the emergency room of the Adventist hospital. You’re almost there. Hang two rights and a left, then drive up to the ER’s entrance. Shoot every one of them, and I’ll give you the young pussy I promised you. Fail to kill them all and I’ll get rid of you, and I mean rid. Do not mess up again!”

  Charles nodded and grabbed the Magnum from the passenger seat. “I won’t fail you again, master — not now, not ever.”

  “See that you don’t. Now get moving.” The Not disappeared from the rearview as the light turned green.

  Charles raced toward the hospital.

  ***

  Don wondered why Rick had stopped before the glass entry doors.

  “Let’s join hands and pray for a safe trip to the hotel,” Rick said. “The roaring lion’s out there, waiting to pump rounds into us.”

  Everyone consented, and Don closed his eyes. They prayed for a safe journey. When he opened his eyes, Don noticed the passersby were looking at them strangely. Watching for the slayer, he glanced out the glass. “Where’s that freakin cab?”

  “That’s what I want to know,” Rick said. “It’ll probably come when it’s too late.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  ***

  Charles turned left at the stoplight, and the hospital loomed in the distance.

  All right, you cocksuckers, I’m gonna mow you all down this time!

  Charles laughed evilly as he pulled into the hospital’s parking lot. Then he heard what sounded like someone shooting at him. Charles had trouble steering the Ferrari. He realize
d a tire had blown, and he punched the dashboard. “Shit! Why can’t I catch a motherfucking break?” Forced to steer into a Mexican restaurant, he heaved a heavy sigh. “Goddamn it to hell!” He abandoned the car, lifting his shirt and sticking the gun into the front of his pants.

  The rain dissipated. Looking behind his back periodically, Charles ran for the hospital, intent on blowing all their heads off.

  No way is Shit Happens is going to ruin my chance of being a pussy monger!

  ***

  Don sighed with relief as the cab pulled up. “Let’s go, guys.” He moved Fay toward the hackie with his hand on her back. Rick urged Georgia toward the cab in the same fashion.

  “Shotgun!” Rick called, separating himself from Georgia as if he’d just remembered he was young.

  Don shielded his eyes with his hand. The sun had finally put in an appearance. Looking for the crazed gunman, he scanned the perimeter.

  Rick froze. “Holy… crap.”

  Huffing while running for them, the young man who’d shot at them at the police station was a little more than a block away. “You’re dead, you fudge packers!”

  “It’s that young guy again,” Rick said.

  “What’s that old psycho from Pueblo doin, gettin his son in on the act?” Don asked.

  “Keepin’ it in the family, maybe?” Rick asked.

  The young man pulled a gun from underneath his shirt.

  “Everybody inside, now!” Don said.

  They tore open the doors and climbed inside.

  “Cocksuckers!” The gunman was now a block away and running for all he was worth.

  Everyone was in. Don shut the door.

  Rick said, “That sounds like the older psycho! Why do they have the same voice?”

  “We’re going to the Day’s Inn,” Don told the cabbie. “Step on it! I’ll triple your tip if you speed out of here!”

  “What the f — ” The cabbie looked at the maniac approaching the car. Shots rang out, and one made a sucking noise as it stuck into the chassis. “Criminy!” The hackie tore away from the gunman, then turned onto a road that led to the back of the hospital.

  Don craned his neck again. “You’re right, Rick, that’s exactly what the old guy yelled — ‘cocksucker’ — pardon my French again. Pishuni probably made him young.”

  “Come back here, you fairy fucks,” the insane man cried from a distance. “You’re not gettin away this time!” He kept firing, missing the cab.

  Then they were out of the parking lot and traveling away from the hospital.

  Rick touched his forehead. “Oh, thank God!”

  “Judas Priest,” The cabbie cried. “My boss is going to have my behind! What kind of crap are you people into?”

  Don shook his head. “You don’t want to know.”

  Fay trembled as she held onto Don, and Georgia clutched her. The women whimpered.

  Rick locked eyes with the cabbie. “Sorry about that, man. We’re on a mission to save the world. That’s all I can tell you.”

  The cabbie sighed and feigned a stop at the sign. He shook his head, heading for the hotel. “That figures. You sure it’s worth saving?”

  “Jesus Christ sure thought so,” Rick answered. “He died for it.”

  The cab driver glanced at him. “You got that right. Who do ya think I just gave the wheel to?”

  Rick grinned. “Amen to that.”

  ***

  Forced to dive between a couple of parked cars when sirens erupted in the neighborhood, Charles searched for an unlocked vehicle. Not finding one with the keys in it, he decided on an Audi. I’ll have to hot-wire it. The pigs are looking for a Ferrari anyway. Charles went to work. Oh shit! The master’s going to obliterate me for not killing them all. Anxiety like electric shock pulsed through Charles at the thought of The Not doing away with him. I fucking failed!

  “Just keep trying, you pitiful paleface!” The Not hissed inside his head. “I’d burn you to a crisp, but you’re all I’ve got right now. They’re at the Days Inn, room 330. Haul ass!”

  He kicked the ignition cover and plastic panels until they came off and the cylinder and colored wires were visible. He stripped the wires with a pocketknife, then touched them together and the engine fired up. A police car pulled up to the ER. Charles crept slowly out of the parking lot. He whipped out his cell phone and got on the Internet to look for the address of the hotel. Then he used MapQuest to find the quickest way.

  “You queers can’t run forever!”

  Charles picked up speed and headed for the hotel.

  ***

  Don stopped at an ATM for cash and Staples to get the laptop, then drove back to the Days Inn. He’d booked room 330 earlier. He walked into the lobby with everyone in tow. “Maybe we should switch rooms.”

  Fay furrowed her brow. “Why?”

  “Pishuni seems to be telling him where we are.”

  “I’m gettin that vibe, myself,” Rick said.

  “Maybe we’d better head to Denver,” Don added.

  Rick shook his head. “That won’t do any good. He’ll follow us there too.”

  Georgia pointed outside the glass doors. “Don? Isn’t that the tow truck with your car?”

  He glanced outside. “Hot damn, it is!” Don walked outside to sign a form. He paid the man and took the keys. Looking for Criminal and Son, he scanned the parking lot. Don opened the trunk and retrieved his laptop. He didn’t see any threat, so he headed back into the hotel. Don arranged a room switch, and the annoyed clerk traded him the key card to 205 for his.

  “Let’s go,” Don said. “We’ve got a lot of work to do.”

  Don went through the stairwell door — thinking the elevator was a bad idea — and hurried to room 205 as the small group followed.

  Georgia said, “I need some sleep.”

  “Me too,” Fay added.

  “No time right now,” Don answered. “I promise we’ll sleep for a few days when this is over. But we’ve got to get Rick moving.” He opened the room with the key card.

  Fay and Georgia sat down on the bed together.

  Don gave Rick a sizeable amount of cash. “Damn, I’m almost flat broke,” he sighed. “Well, I guess this is it, kid. Do a Bing search on hiring a hacker online, not Google, and don’t agree to Bing’s terms. You’ll see someone has stupidly asked how to go about hiring a hacker. Just copy and paste the hacker’s email who answered the ad into yours.” He studied the kid’s gruff form. Rick held the laptop under his good arm. “Got any experience with computers?”

  Rick nodded. “I designed our band’s Website — know my way around them pretty well.”

  “Good. We love you, kid. Godspeed.”

  “I love you guys too,” Rick answered. “I may never see you again… until heaven.”

  “I don’t care about your rule. Come here, you big lug.” Don hugged Rick.

  “Whoa,” Rick said. “Uh… okay.” He waited for Don to break the embrace, then looked at him. “I hope you and Fay have a lot of kids and a long life.”

  Don couldn’t control the tears welling up, which was all right, because neither could Rick. Don wiped his eyes and sniffled. The men laughed at their feminine sides — just a little.

  “Hey, kiddo,” Georgia said, hugging him. “You be careful, and may God find another way than prison.”

  When they pulled apart, Rick smiled and nodded.

  Fay was next. “Oh Lord, I love that kid. C’mere.” She hugged him. When they broke the embrace, tears leaked from her eyes. She turned to Don. “Does he really have to do this?” she sobbed. “He’s a young one. You know what they do to guys like that in prison.”

  Rick stared at Fay with a blank expression, then apparently righted himself. “Don’t worry. The Lord will protect me.” He looked everybody over. The golden late-afternoon sunlight streaming in through the opened curtains highlighted his long hair and made him look picturesque. Rick shook his head. “There’s no way to make this easy,” he sobbed, “so I’ll just go.”
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  With that, he hit the door and shut it behind him.

  Don sat at the desk his laptop was on and put his face in his hands. He wept. Fay sat at his feet. She cried onto his lap. Georgia lay on the bed and sobbed.

  ***

  Feeling lonely in his room at the Quality Inn, Rick smiled when he found out the hacker had answered his email. The message read as follows:

  I’m a juvenile hacker, but that shouldn’t be a BFD to you. I’m going to plant a mass-mailer worm into as many e-mails as possible and on popular news sites. It’s the quickest way. I never thought I’d be a gray hat though.

  What a gray hat? Rick typed and sent.

  A few minutes later, the kid answered:

  A hacker working for the greater good. Send the money to me via/Paypal. My addie is JonathanSavage@gmail.com.

  Rick heaved a heavy sigh.

  Dang it. I forgot to open up a bank account.

  Rick left to do just that.

  ***

  Don sat in front of his computer. He clicked on a picture of a computer keyboard on Bing that said WEIRD MESSAGE GOES VIRAL BY ITSELF under “Trending.”

  “Hackers founded the Internet,” he told Fay when she sat on his lap. Georgia sawed logs on the bed. “Bill Gates was in the Homebrew Club in the late seventies — a group of hackers. Rick will be arrested though. All right, here’s the message.” He and Fay perused it.

  READ THIS IF YOU WANT TO LIVE:

  IF YOU’RE AN ATHEIST, AND THINGS START GOING STRANGELY WELL, IT’S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. A NATIVE-AMERICAN DEITY NAMED PISHUNI WILL SHOW UP, WANTING OBEDIENCE. DO NOT — I REPEAT — DO NOT PRAY TO HIM OR LISTEN TO ANYTHING HE SAYS. IF YOU REFUSE HIM, HE HAS TO LEAVE. HE CAN’T TAKE YOUR FREEWILL. THIS IS THE GOD THAT DESTROYED RIO RANCHO, ALBUQUERQUE, SANTA FE AND PUEBLO.

  PISHUNI WANTS TO ANNIHILATE MANKIND, CITY BY CITY. HE’LL ACT LIKE HE’S ON YOUR SIDE, AND HE WILL HELP FOR A WHILE, THEN HE’LL ASK YOU TO INVOKE HIM OVER YOUR TOWN SO HE CAN BLESS YOUR NEIGHBORS LIKE HE’S BLESSED YOU.

  DO NOT INVOKE HIM OVER YOUR CITY! HE WILL OBLITERATE IT! BELIEVE ME, I KNOW. HE DID THE SAME THING TO ME.

  The message was signed “The Voice of Reason.”

  “Y-yes!” Don hugged Fay.

  They broke the embrace. He looked at the window. “What’s up now, Pishuni?”