Love Inspired December 2014 - Box Set 2 of 2: Her Holiday FamilySugar Plum SeasonHer Cowboy HeroSmall-Town Fireman

by Ruth Logan Herne

  Until the pastor said, “I’m sure you’re very busy with the studio, Amy, but we’d love to have you back at the Crossroads Church. Our little family hasn’t been quite the same without you.”

  Amy saw absolutely no reason to worship a God who’d turned His back on her, and she swallowed hard to keep from blurting out her true feelings. “Thank you for the invitation.”

  Apparently, Mrs. Griggs sensed her attitude and changed tracks with a laugh. “Don’t be fooled, dear. What he’s really after is another soprano for the choir. We’ve lost a few and are hunting for some to replace them.”

  “No one’s sick, I hope,” Amy said.

  “One of the ladies has a baby due on Christmas Eve, and she won’t be able to sing. Another moved unexpectedly when her husband got a new job out of state, and the others—” She shrugged. “You know how it is.”

  “You have such a lovely voice, though,” her husband chimed in with an optimistic look. “I’m sure your singing would be wonderful.”

  He’d nailed her weakness, Amy groaned silently. Despite her ongoing battle with the Almighty, she loved Christmas music for its upbeat, joyful content. Peace on earth, goodwill toward everyone—even a lapsed Christian like her could appreciate such hopeful messages.

  But agreeing to sing would make her the worst kind of hypocrite, and she wouldn’t be able to live with herself. “I’m afraid I’m not active in the church anymore. Much as I’d like to help out, it wouldn’t feel right to do that when I don’t attend services.”

  The Griggses exchanged a look that told her they already knew what she’d just told them, and the pastor’s wife patted her shoulder in a comforting gesture. “We completely understand, dear, and we’re not trying to coerce you into doing something you’re not comfortable with. If you’d like to join us, we’d be happy to have you.”

  Amy couldn’t believe she’d heard the woman correctly. “You mean, I can join the choir but not come to church?”

  “Yes,” the pastor replied without hesitation. “No one will pressure you for more than you want to do. You have my word on that.”

  At first, his promise made no sense to her at all. Then it occurred to her he was probably thinking she’d change her mind once she got reacquainted with the people in the congregation. Maybe he was right, she acknowledged, maybe not. But she couldn’t deny that celebrating Christmas in her hometown held a nostalgic appeal for her.

  She glanced up at Jason, who met her questioning look with a grin. “Most of us can’t sing a lick, but it’s a lotta fun.”

  “You’re in the church choir?” she asked, well and truly amazed.

  “Sure. It’s a great place to meet girls.”

  His wicked grin made her laugh, and she had to admit that knowing he’d be there was a plus for her. She’d been on her own for so long, wishing she could find a way to belong to a community somewhere. Here was a golden opportunity, staring her in the face. All she had to do was go into the church for rehearsals, she reasoned. How hard could it be?

  “Your cousin Brenda has the music,” the preacher nudged gently. “I’m sure she’d copy it for you, and then you could decide after that. If you’re interested, we rehearse on Tuesday nights, from six to eight.”

  “I’ll definitely think about it.”

  They each took a praline, agreeing to spread the word about her upcoming production. As they headed off to circulate, she wondered at the turn her evening had taken. If they’d asked her about the choir an hour ago, she’d have politely but firmly refused. Now, for some reason, she was more open to it. Could it be the town’s undeniable Christmas spirit was rubbing off on her? Anything was possible, she supposed.

  “Punch?” Jason asked, nodding toward the table loaded down with huge punch bowls and paper cups.

  “Please.”

  She took the basket from him, fully intending to keep it. But when he returned with their drinks, he smoothly retrieved it from her. While they resumed their aimless course through the square, she said, “You’re a very stubborn man.”

  That got her a bright grin. “Yeah.”

  “Jenna complains about your brother Paul being the same way. It must run in your family.”

  His expression dimmed, and in his eyes she noticed something she hadn’t yet seen: anxiety. He’d been so kind to her, she felt awful for upsetting him, even though it was an accident. “I’m sorry, Jason. Did I say something wrong?”

  “No, it’s just—” Taking her elbow, he guided her to a quieter spot in a stand of trees away from the crowd. “There’s something you need to know about me.”

  It sounded so ominous, she felt her pulse ratchet up several notches. Did she want to know? she wondered. She’d learned to keep people—especially men—at a safe distance to avoid being hurt. But now, she was touched that he valued their friendship enough to share an important secret with her. Because he trusted her, she felt more confident about trusting him in return. “Okay. Go ahead.”

  After a heavy sigh, he fixed her with an intense gaze she’d never seen from him. “Paul and I aren’t related.”

  “I don’t understand. You and everyone else in town told me you’re brothers.”

  “We are, but not the usual way. His mom, Diane, works with kids at teen centers she runs here and in Cambridge, which is where she met my mother twenty-five years ago. She and Tom adopted me from her before I was born.”

  Amy’s jaw fell open in shock, and she frantically searched for a logical reaction to his stunning news. “Who is she?”

  “I have no idea. That was part of the deal they made, and my parents have stood by their word.”

  “But didn’t you wonder about her while you were growing up?” Amy pressed in a whisper. “I mean, she was your mother.”

  “She wasn’t ready for me when I came along,” he explained in a tone much calmer than hers. “She gave me a chance to have a better life, and whoever she is, I’ll always be grateful to her for that.”

  “I’d be furious,” Amy hissed at the selfish woman she’d never meet. How could a mother surrender her newborn child? Unmarried and alone at what she assumed was a similar age, her own mother had never even considered such a thing.

  Jason took her anger in stride, easing her temper with a smile. “Your mom took on the world for you and made it work. Not everyone is that strong.”

  Since he’d come to terms with the situation, Amy concluded that it was ridiculous for her to debate a teenager’s decision with him. Shaking off her lingering resentment, she did her best to return the smile. “I guess you’re right about that. Dad left when I was a baby, but Mom never let him being gone affect me. She’s pretty amazing.”

  “You must’ve gotten that from her.” Holding up his cup, he tapped hers in a toast. “To Christmas in Barrett’s Mill. Welcome home, Amy.”

  She’d heard grander speeches, but none had warmed her withered heart the way his simple toast did. There was something about this towering lumberjack with the kind eyes that made her want to start dreaming of better things to come. “Welcome home, Jason. Merry Christmas.”

  He polished off his punch in one swallow and tossed his cup into a nearby bin. Then he rubbed his hands together and picked up the basket again. “Enough serious talk. Let’s give out the rest of these so we can enjoy ourselves.”

  “Sounds good.”

  With his height and outgoing personality, it didn’t take long for them to empty the basket. Several people asked about the studio and what kinds of classes she’d be offering after the holidays. Fortunately, Amy had the foresight to bring along business cards, and by the time they’d finished their circuit of the square, all the cards and candies were gone.

  “This is fabulous,” she approved. “If even half those folks bring their kids in after New Year’s, I’ll have enough students for another beginning ballet class.�
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  Jason gave her an admiring look. “Y’know, I snuck in the other day while you were teaching that bunch of six-year-olds. You’re great with them, and the way they stare up at you is really cute.”

  “I like kids in general, but that group is so great, I think I have even more fun than they do.”

  “It shows. You’re gonna make a fantastic mom someday.”

  His comment plucked a sensitive chord deep inside her, and she tried to accept his compliment the way she knew she should. Swallowing hard, she managed to thank him in a more or less normal voice.

  Unfortunately, he was more perceptive than she’d anticipated, and his face clouded with concern. “Did I say something wrong?”

  “No, it’s nothing. Sorry,” she added lamely. “It’s been a big day, and I’m a little tired, I guess.”

  “It’s not nothing, but if you don’t wanna talk about it, that’s fine. I understand.”

  Meeting his eyes, she found nothing but compassion in them. As a rule, she kept her private issues to herself, not wanting to discuss painful things with people who couldn’t possibly relate to them. Jason was different, though. He’d trusted her with something very personal about himself, and she knew if she confided in him, he’d be sympathetic.

  So, after a deep breath, she nutshelled it for him. “I can’t have children.”

  “Because of the accident?” When she nodded, his rugged face twisted with sympathy. “Amy, I’m so sorry. Are you sure there’s no way around it?”

  “The surgeries I went through made sure of that. It was the main reason my fiancé left,” she heard herself add. She hadn’t meant to share that detail, but since it was out in the open, she decided to clear it all out of her system. “Having a family was really important to him, and he refused to consider adoption.”

  “Love is what makes a family,” Jason said tersely. “If he was too narrow-minded to see that, you’re better off without him.”

  The utter conviction in his tone drove off some of her sadness, and she rewarded his thoughtfulness with her biggest, brightest smile. “Thank you for saying that. It was very sweet.”

  He gave her a slow, very male grin. “That’s me.”

  “The girls around here must fall all over you.” The grin widened mischievously, and she couldn’t help laughing. “Just so you know, I won’t be joining them.”

  “Really?” The gold in his eyes sparked with curiosity, and he moved a half step closer. “Why?”

  It was a moronically simple question, but while his gaze seemed to warm the chilly evening air, her brain went completely blank. He was so down-to-earth, with his easygoing demeanor and generous nature. Here, in her tiny hometown of all places, she’d found someone who accepted her just as she was, flaws and all. Being female, she couldn’t help being drawn to him and his bright optimism, but at the same time she resisted getting any closer. The question, as he’d so directly put it, was why.

  While she hunted for a decent response, he flashed her a confident grin. “That’s fine. But fair warning—I’m gonna change your mind.”

  His smug tone irked her, and she snorted derisively. “Not hardly.”

  “Better watch yourself,” he teased. “That Blue Ridge accent’s starting to come back.”

  Relieved to switch to a less volatile topic, she griped, “It’s hard not to talk that way when everyone around you does.”

  “Don’t get your back up. I like it.”

  With that, he sauntered on ahead of her, swinging the empty basket and whistling along with the rendition of “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” playing on the loudspeakers. As she hurried to catch up with his long strides, she wondered who he thought he was, speaking to her that way. The fact that he could potentially be right had nothing to do with her current frame of mind, of course. It was just one more reason to keep a safe distance between them.

  The trouble was, the time she spent with Jason was the happiest she’d ever been away from the stage. She wasn’t a face-fanning romantic, but even she recognized that her desire to be with him meant something. Something that could derail everything if she lost sight of her goal to reclaim her independence and take control of her life again.

  She simply couldn’t allow that to happen, she reminded herself sternly as she joined the crowd milling around the tree. Because her instincts were warning her that if she lost herself in Jason Barrett, she might never find her way out.

  Chapter Six

  Who on earth was knocking on her door?

  Slitting her eyes open just enough to see the clock on her bedside table, Amy groaned. Eight o’clock on a Sunday morning was sleeping time, not answering-the-door time. But the noise persisted, and she dragged herself from her comfy nest and peeked out the window to see who had the gall to interrupt her only day off this way.

  “Come on, Ames,” Brenda said in a voice far too chipper for the hour. “I see you in there.”

  Stubbornly refusing to give in, she grumbled, “I’m sleeping. What do you want?”

  “I’ve got your choir music.”

  Home delivery, she mused with a yawn. How convenient. “Fine. Shove it under the door.”

  She heard crinkling, then a quiet laugh. “I can’t now that Jason installed that door sweep. Quit being difficult and open up.”

  Since she apparently had no choice, Amy reluctantly turned the dead bolt and let her cousin inside. Dressed in her churchgoing best, her makeup impeccable and not a hair out of place, Brenda swept her with a practiced glance. “You’re a mess. You can’t go to church looking like that.”

  “I wasn’t planning to,” Amy informed her through another yawn, “or anywhere else, until I go to the Barretts’ decorating party at noon.”

  “Let me get this straight.” Her unwanted visitor plopped down in one of the two kitchen chairs and fixed her with a puzzled look. “You’re going to sing in the Crossroads choir but not go to services?”

  “Of course not.” When Brenda tilted her head in confusion, she amended her quick answer. “Well, probably not, even though Pastor Griggs said I could. It’s just that he caught me off guard at the Starlight Festival when he asked me to help out. Have you ever tried to say no to that man?”

  “I see your point.” She smiled, but it faded almost right away. “You know, it might be good for you to come this morning. I know it’s been a while, but I think—”

  “It’s been a while for a very good reason,” Amy reminded her curtly.

  Brenda pressed her glossy lips together, as if she was choosing her words carefully. It wasn’t like her to be so cautious, so she must be winding up for a doozy. “I’m getting a crick in my neck. Could you sit down for a minute?”

  Never a good sign, but Amy did as she asked. When they were eye to eye, her cousin went on. “I know we all agreed never to talk about your accident, but there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you, and you need to listen until I’m done.”

  Because she adored her bubbly cousin, Amy braced herself for an unpleasant conversation and nodded. “Go ahead.”

  “I saw the pictures of your car,” she began in a hushed tone. Slowly shaking her head, she went on. “This is hard for me to say, but I couldn’t believe they pulled you out of that wreck alive. The cops and firemen said as much when your mom met them at the hospital.”

  “Really? She never said anything to me.”

  “No one wanted to upset you,” Brenda explained, patting her hand in a consoling gesture. “We were so grateful to still have you with us, nothing else mattered.”

  “That was two years ago. Why are you bringing this up now?”

  Brenda took a deep breath and fixed her with a somber look. “God didn’t abandon you, Amy. He saved you. Back then, you ate, slept and breathed ballet. You might have been successful, but you never seemed very happy to me.”
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br />   “I was engaged, if you’ll recall.”

  “Sure, to a man who bailed when things got tough. If you ask me, Devon’s the one you should be punishing, not God.”

  “I didn’t ask you.” The words may have sounded tough, but even Amy heard the uncertainty in her voice. The truth was, Brenda had touched on a very sensitive spot, and to make matters worse, she was probably right.

  “No, you didn’t, but that’s never stopped me before.” Setting the sheet music on the table, she stood and pushed the chair back in. “I won’t mention church again, but I’ll be saving a seat for you if you change your mind. Unless you’d rather sit with Jason,” she added with a knowing look.

  “Oh, please!” Amy moaned. “Not you, too. Which reminds me—thanks so much for spreading it all around town that we were dancing at the studio the other night. Folks can’t stop talking about it.”

  “Because it’s so cute,” Brenda cooed. “He’s this hunky lumberjack, and you’re this tiny dancer, and it was just precious seeing you together that way.”

  Even though he wasn’t there, Amy could hear Jason laughing at the dreamy description of them, and she couldn’t keep back a smile. “Was it?”

  “Absolutely. If you have any sense at all, you’ll hold on to that one. He’s as solid as they come, and more loyal than an old hound.”

  “If he’s so great, how come he’s not serious with anyone?”

  “I heard something about an ex-fiancée who stole his truck and broke his heart,” Brenda answered with a smirk. “Sound familiar?”

  “Yeah,” Amy admitted slowly. “Except for the truck thing.”

  Laughing, Brenda gave her a quick hug. “I hope we’ll see you later. If not, enjoy your day with the Barretts.”

  Once her chatty cousin had left, Amy tried to get back to sleep. But something Brenda had said kept echoing in her mind.