L8r, G8r

by Lauren Myracle

  SnowAngel:

  and what it IS is fabulous, schweetheart.

  SnowAngel:

  think about it: for all intents and purposes we r DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL 4-EVAH!!!

  mad maddie:

  and tonite we’re celebrating with just us 3, right?

  SnowAngel:

  correctamundo

  mad maddie:

  no ian

  zoegirl:

  no doug

  SnowAngel:

  and NO JANA. i have washed my hair of that girl once and for all!

  zoegirl:

  altho i DO have something to say about her, real quick

  SnowAngel:

  nooooo *covers ears*

  zoegirl:

  no, this is good

  zoegirl:

  i couldn’t help but notice her today, since she was totally showing off and playing to the crowd, and you know what i realized?

  mad maddie:

  that her thong was tracking mud into her woo-woo?

  SnowAngel:

  ewww!

  zoegirl:

  no, what i realized was that jana never won, even when we thought she did.

  mad maddie:

  how do you figure?

  zoegirl:

  think about it. maddie’s back with ian, and they’re like the couple of the century. i’ve gotten over (or at least am in the process of getting over) my codependency issues. and yes, jana slept with logan, but angela, you took yourself out for a solo date to houston’s, cuz that’s how strong you are!

  SnowAngel:

  hate to point it out, but i didn’t take myself to houston’s until AFTER you and jana had your showdown.

  zoegirl:

  the key elements were already there. you DID break up with logan before the showdown, after all. which was also before you knew he and jana had slept together.

  mad maddie:

  it’s true. jana was beaten before she even began. and speaking of …

  SnowAngel:

  yesssss?

  mad maddie:

  well, even tho zoe is absolutely right, i decided jana needed a touch more winsome-threesome love to take with her after graduation. so i put in a little email to our friend the glendinizer.

  SnowAngel:

  no!

  mad maddie:

  i told her hi, and that i sure have appreciated her chain letters over the months. i mentioned that as a matter of fact, i knew a girl who could really benefit from said chain letters. i told her all about jana’s tortured past, and suggested that deep down what jana needs is to be showered with love.

  SnowAngel:

  maddie!!!! *shrieks and has a coronary*

  mad maddie:

  i passed along all of jana’s deets, and here’s the real stroke of genius. i told glendy not to ever EVER give up, and that if anyone knows how to connect with others, it’s her. think that pushed the right buttons?

  SnowAngel:

  jana’s gonna have glendy latched on for life!

  zoegirl:

  you’re awesome!

  mad maddie:

  aren’t i?

  SnowAngel:

  *flings self to ground and hugs maddie’s knees* i love you so much!

  SnowAngel:

  *hugs zoe’s knees too* and you, of course! i have the two bestest friends in the universe, and we will ALWAYS be there for each other … even if you guys r stupid idiots who feel compelled to go far far away to college, you naughty children!

  mad maddie:

  yr not gonna start guilt-tripping us again, r you? cuz angela, yr gonna have to get over it one day. you know that, don’t you?

  SnowAngel:

  actually … i do

  zoegirl:

  you do?

  SnowAngel:

  just lemme explain something, something i’ve been thinking a lot about. when i lived in el cerrito last year—i have never been that lonely in my life. i missed you guys sooooo much.

  mad maddie:

  we missed you too

  SnowAngel:

  yeah, but you guys had each other. i was all alone. and it made me feel … un-whole. and i’m so afraid that’s gonna happen again this fall.

  zoegirl:

  oh, angela!!!

  SnowAngel:

  but like i said, i’ve been thinking a lot about it, and—*gulp*—i’m gonna try really hard to stop being such a baby about it.

  mad maddie:

  you haven’t been a baby about it, you’ve just …

  SnowAngel:

  been a baby about it. yeah.

  SnowAngel:

  but just cuz we’re splitting up doesn’t mean we’re “splitting up.” i mean, we can visit each other, right?

  zoegirl:

  of course

  SnowAngel:

  and we have to text and call and skype every single day!!!

  mad maddie:

  DUH!

  mad maddie:

  (except maybe not skype *every* day. mark says that the freshmen who do that kinda get ragged on. like, cuz it makes it seem like they can’t let go of home.)

  SnowAngel:

  can we still skype sometimes?

  mad maddie:

  of course

  SnowAngel:

  well ok then *straightens spine in a queenly fashion* maddie, you may go to santa cruz. and you, zoe, may go to kenyon. i give you my permission.

  zoegirl:

  thanks, angela. your support means the world to me.

  mad maddie:

  ah, dudes. life is good. in fact i had a zen moment about this very thong, when i was driving home from school all muddy and disgusting.

  SnowAngel:

  this very “thong”?

  mad maddie:

  *THING*, u freak

  mad maddie:

  the window was down and my music was blasting and i was like, i am the sun on my skin. i am the clouds in the sky. i’m everything i’ve ever seen or done or felt or heard, and one day i will be gone.

  SnowAngel:

  now THAT’S cheerful

  mad maddie:

  no, just … we’re our own destiny, that’s all. and one day we WILL be gone, so we better appreciate life while we can.

  SnowAngel:

  i get it. it’s like my senior quote, from that beetles song: “blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise.”

  zoegirl:

  i love it! that’s a *great* quote, angela!

  mad maddie:

  but it’s BEATLES, you doof. not scurrying little insects.

  zoegirl:

  mads, what’d you put for your quote?

  mad maddie:

  after much deliberation, i went with a classic that perfectly captures my life philosophy.

  zoegirl:

  which is?

  mad maddie:

  “there’s something strange about that giant pink rabbit …”

  zoegirl:

  HA!

  SnowAngel:

  huh?

  zoegirl:

  i can’t believe you … but then again, i totally can.

  SnowAngel:

  i don’t get it. will someone plz explain?

  mad maddie:

  they’re words of wisdom from my role model, the great and wonderful susie.

  zoegirl:

  who dared to enter the forest, and who triumphed despite all odds.

  SnowAngel:

  what forest? what odds?

  mad maddie:

  go to big-bunny.com and all will be revealed.

  mad maddie:

  what’s yours, zo?

  zoegirl:

  originally i was gonna use that quote from shakespeare. “this above all, to thine own self be true.”

  SnowAngel:

  aw, that’s nice

  mad maddie:

  gross, barf, vomit. and the character who said it, that polonius dude? total windbag! y
ou can’t use something from him!

  zoegirl:

  well, i didn’t. i ended up going with something from dr. seuss: “don’t cry because it’s over. smile because it happened.”

  SnowAngel:

  oh, zoe!!! *blinks back tears unsuccessfully*

  mad maddie:

  it’s absolutely perfect … even tho thanks a lot, now you’ve got ME all weepy!

  zoegirl:

  me 3. i can’t help it!

  mad maddie:

  NO! STOP! the point is to REJOICE, not fall to pieces.

  SnowAngel:

  omg, yr so right *lifts chin and sniffs in snot bubble*

  zoegirl:

  i’ll try if y’all will

  mad maddie:

  damn straight we will

  mad maddie:

  so what r we waiting for? it’s time to party!!!!!

  SnowAngel:

  *flings mortar board jubilantly into sky*

  SnowAngel:

  come pick me up, ya big softie!

  zoegirl:

  and then me! i’ll be waiting at the door!

  mad maddie:

  u sure as heck better be

  mad maddie:

  l8r, g8rs!!!

  Fri, Sept 4, 4:30 PM P.S.T.

  mad maddie:

  omg, i’m finally here! I’VE FINALLY JOINED THE COLLEGE GIRL RANKS!

  mad maddie:

  do i get my special beret now?

  SnowAngel:

  maddie! wh-hoo! and wh-hoo, UC santa cruz! sooo smexy, babe!

  mad maddie:

  not smexy, and wld u plz delete that word from yr vocab?

  mad maddie:

  but it *is* SO FRICKIN GORGEOUS HERE, i can’t even tell u.

  mad maddie:

  i’m outside the dorm we’re staying in for orientation, and the sky is so blue and the forest is everywhere and there are no cars and tons of sunshine and I LOVE IT.

  SnowAngel:

  we have the sky and the sun in athens, too, dumb-dumb. and! omg! we also have

  mad maddie:

  is different. is stunning. and so are the students, as apparently it is the law that all california kids must have good genes. i might have to dye my hair blond.

  SnowAngel:

  yr hair is already blond

  mad maddie:

  eh, fair enough

  SnowAngel:

  it’s still weird to me that yr just now starting the semester. u *do* realize that i’ve been at UGA for over a month, and that zoe’s been at kenyon for almost as long?

  mad maddie:

  yes, angela. yes, i do. do *u* think i’ve lived in a time bubble for the last four weeks? do u think i wanted to stay in atlanta—IN MY PARENTS’ HOUSE, WITH MY PARENTS WHO STILL USE TV TRAYS SO THEY CAN EAT TOTINO’S FROZEN PIZZA WHILE WATCHING “THE FAMILY GUY”—after everyone else in our class sailed away into their new lives?

  SnowAngel:

  first of all, i’m sure yr parents heat up the pizza before eating it, silly.

  mad maddie:

  u’d be surprised

  SnowAngel:

  and second of all, it’s just that …

  SnowAngel:

  it’s like zoe and i have graduated, practically, while you’re still a wee freshman. *pats wee maddie on her blondie head* *uses teensy voice* look at you, all grown up wearing yr big girl college beret!

  mad maddie:

  yeah, that’s lovely, angela. thx, babe.

  mad maddie:

  but i did a lot of thinking on the five-hour flight from atlanta to san jose.

  SnowAngel:

  but UCSC is in santa cruz. uh-oh, i think u went to the wrong college, mads.

  mad maddie:

  haha. and btw, can we rewind to make sure u heard what i just said? my FIVE-HOUR flight??

  mad maddie:

  FIVE HOURS, girlie! and for the whole five hours, i was in airplane bondage next to a man who watched episode after episode of “House Hunters” on his iPad WITHOUT WEARING HEADPHONES. what was wrong with that dude?

  SnowAngel:

  “House Hunters” normal or “House Hunters International”?

  mad maddie:

  he was on a plane full of other ppl. how cld he not know to wear headphones? i kept wanting to say something to him, but i didn’t. and then i kept hoping that one of the flight attendants wld say something to him, but none of them did! ever!!!

  SnowAngel:

  i like “House Hunters,” even tho it’s fake. the couple already knows which house they’re going to buy before the show is filmed—did u know that?

  SnowAngel:

  at first i felt a little disillusioned. *single tear*

  SnowAngel:

  then i said, “ah, wtf.”

  mad maddie:

  ok, great, thx for sharing.

  mad maddie:

  now back to what i was saying, which is that i did some thinking on my long-ass flight, as i believe i mentioned.

  SnowAngel:

  *nods* you did

  mad maddie:

  then i did even MORE thinking on the shuttle from san jose to santa cruz.

  SnowAngel:

  ah, a shuttle! clever girl, u!

  mad maddie:

  and all that thinking led to a brilliant idea.

  SnowAngel:

  awesome. let’s hear it.

  mad maddie:

  you know the expression “you only live once,” right?

  SnowAngel:

  as in yolo? *lifts eyebrows*

  SnowAngel:

  um, yes, maddie, i know the term yolo. the ten-year-old my sister babysits knows the term yolo. my *grandmother* knows the term yolo. a bit overused, but still fun to say.

  SnowAngel:

  *pretends to be girl from ricola commercial* *throws back head atop a snow-capped mountain*

  SnowAngel:

  RI-CO-LA!

  SnowAngel:

  oops. i mean … YO-OH-LO!

  mad maddie:

  uh huh. well, “yolo” has to do with you and me and zoe and how we’ve all—corniness alert—gone our own ways. we’re growing up and shit.

  SnowAngel:

  mmm. corn. num num num.

  mad maddie:

  but … (more corn is about to come, deal with it) … just cuz we’re growing up doesn’t mean we have to grow apart.

  SnowAngel:

  aw, little sweetie. that IS corny.

  SnowAngel:

  i’m all about making the best of life since we only get one chance at it, absolutely. but before we go any further, can we agree that if we keep using “yolo,” we’ll have an implied understanding that we know it’s on the -y side?

  mad maddie:

  omg. being in a sorority has made u way too concerned about what other ppl think, hasn’t it?

  SnowAngel:

  no! *huffs indignantly*

  mad maddie:

  yr right. my bad. you’ve always cared too much about what other ppl think.

  SnowAngel:

  maddie!

  mad maddie:

  kidding!

  SnowAngel:

  SnowAngel:

  so what’s yr brilliant idea?

  mad maddie:

  oh! yes!

  mad maddie:

  it’s more of a plan than an idea.

  SnowAngel:

  mmm-kay, a plan. and the plan is …?

  mad maddie:

  well, it’s pretty simple. simple but important.

  SnowAngel:

  okay, and …?

  mad maddie:

  it’s just that i think we shld all—

  mad maddie:

  shit, my orientation leader is calling everyone over for a group activity. i better go.

  SnowAngel:

  *deadpan stare of disbelief*

  mad maddie:

  SWEAR TO GOD i’m not messing with u. i’ll call or text as soon as i can, i promise.

  SnowAngel:

  don’t us
e drugs! drugs make you stoopid! that’s what the orientation person’s going to tell you!

  mad maddie:

  kk, i won’t—and don’t u, either!

  A CONVERSATION WITH

  LAUREN MYRACLE

  Why were your books banned and do you personally believe that they should have been?

  Lots of my books have teen girls in them. Teen girls sometimes talk about sex. Teen girls sometimes have sex. Lots of grownups would like to believe that this is not true. I am not one of those grown-ups, and I think it’s important and meaningful to give readers stories that reflect reality—in a respectful way. Like, not salaciously, but with the intent of saying, “Let’s look at how this story played out. How’d it seem to work out for so-and-so?” And then the readers—who are SMART, damn it—can grapple with those issues themselves. And no, I do not believe my books should have been banned. I do not believe that any author should be banned, ever. Freedom of speech, dude. :)