Deepest Scars: A Being Me Stand-Alone Companion Novel

by Tricia Copeland

  “Oh, yeah. Jeff mentioned it. Sounds nice.”

  “I volunteered us for potatoes.” She covers her mouth as she giggles.

  “Potatoes are funny?”

  “You know the whole Irish potato famine thing.” She bumps her bicep to mine.

  “I’m pretty sure Germans have a thing with potatoes too.”

  “Perfect then.” She smiles up at me and strides ahead.

  We make our way to our cars and join the group at a brunch place. Afterwards, I follow her to her apartment, and then she rides with me to the first costume store on our list.

  “Okay, what are we going for? Matching? Coordinating? Couples?”

  “I don’t think beggars can be choosers on the Saturday before Halloween.”

  “Right, someone with red hair?”

  “Oh, Cleopatra?” She holds up a white beaded dress.

  “I could be Mark Antony.” I hold up a silk fabric toga, thinking I could wear a sheet. We find a crown to match her dress and a sash and sword for me.

  “That was easier than I thought.” I hold the door for Liz to exit.

  “Me, too.”

  “Who knew Cleopatra was a redhead?”

  “A redhead, that’s who.” She rolls her eyes.

  “Okay, what now? We need food for Jeff’s?” I hesitate at the truck.

  “Yeah. I told Isabelle I’d bring a salad.”

  “Well, I’m bringing a steak to grill. Food market?” I open Liz’s door for her.

  “Sounds like a plan.” She smiles and slides in the seat.

  “Hey.”

  “Yeah.” She turns her head to face me.

  I lean in and kiss her.

  “What was that for?”

  “For, because I haven’t kissed you yet today.” I close her door and loop around to the driver’s side.

  At the grocery store, we both admit we need to shop for the next week and fill our cart. Aside from her yogurt obsession and my protein requirements, we have similar tastes. After checking out, we head to her place. In her apartment, we store her groceries and put mine in the fridge. I turn the TV on and she settles in beside me. It feels nice to be watching sports with someone, and I realize she’s also well versed in football. Who could ask for more?

  “Are we hanging out here or going back to your place?” she asks after an hour. “I need a nap.”

  “I need a sheet, a pair of shorts, and a white t-shirt to complete my costume. I could go grab them and head back.”

  “I could come with and change at your apartment. You’re the one with the decent bed.” She taps her knee to mine.

  “Are you using me for my king bed?”

  “Oh, definitely.” She laughs, jumps up, and runs to her room.

  I jog after her, hooking her with one arm. “I’m not some man whore. I have feelings too.”

  “Well, go have your feelings in the living room. I need to shower and pack my bag.”

  “Fine.” I release her and trudge away.

  She catches my arm as I’m almost out the door. “But I’d like a kiss.”

  I wrap my hand around the back of her neck, and lower my lips to hers, grazing them lightly with mine, then pressing mine to hers.

  She smiles up at me as I pull away. “Didn’t realize you were such a drama queen.”

  “Didn’t want you to forget that kiss.”

  “I won’t.” She saunters away, and it takes every ounce of resolve I have to leave the room.

  Wandering to the kitchen, I pour a glass of water and go back to the futon to watch the game. It’s under an hour before she exits with her hair pulled out straight and eye makeup that leaves her eyes looking twice as large.

  “Well, hello, Cleo,” I exclaim, standing.

  “Is it too much?” She smooths her hair.

  “No, you look awesome. I’m the one who’s going to look like a schmuck in a sheet beside you. I should have gotten that shirt thing and gone topless to show off my nice pecks and abs.”

  She shrugs. “You still can, I won’t complain.”

  “You’re a regular ham today.”

  “What, I can’t be happy?”

  “Yeah, you’re not usually so chatty.”

  “You haven’t known me very long.”

  “I guess I haven’t.” I pull her to me. “I’m really enjoying getting to know you better.”

  “Same.” She smiles. “Okay, we should head out because I really want a nap.”

  “Ditto.”

  I grab the bags of groceries from the kitchen, and we drive to my place. Finding a show for her, I excuse myself to shower and dress. It doesn’t take me long. I find a white sheet in the linen closet, and we get the costume figured out. Back in college, I probably would have gone shirtless. But now I feel like I don’t need to show off my chest, especially in front of my guy friends.

  “Okay, now a nap?” Liz asks as I fold the toga on my sofa.

  “Yes, now a nap.” I take her hand and pull her towards my room.

  She wags her finger at me. “Only napping.”

  “Believe me, after five tens in a row, I only want sleep. Well, mostly.” I raise my eyebrows. I recline on the bed and lie down. She snuggles in beside me, and I wrap an arm over her middle. “If any of my friends ask, this never happened.” Grabbing a pillow from under my head, I cover my face with it.

  “You sleep with a pillow on top of your face? You know you’re going to die of a heart attack.”

  I lift the cushion from my forehead. “I’m not dying of a heart attack. I’ve slept like this since I was a kid.”

  “Well, I’m not marrying you because you’re going to have a heart attack by the time you’re fifty.”

  Rolling to my side, I lock my eyes on hers. “You were entertaining marrying me?”

  She bites her lip. “In a theoretical world. Not sure why those words popped out of my mouth.”

  “Well, glad to know I’m not marrying material.” A smile forms before I can stop it. Grabbing the pillow, I let it fall to my face.

  The sheets rustle, and a pillow lands on my stomach. I sit up. “Did you hit me with the pillow?”

  “I did.”

  “Oh, this is war.” I swipe her with the pillow from my head.

  She lands another hit on my back, and we end up in a full-out pillow war. When she raises her hands to land another hit, I abandon my weapon and snag her waist. Kissing her, I back her onto the mattress. “Is this what you were after?”

  “Maybe.” She kisses me and her hips sway under mine. I trace kisses down her neck to her shoulder and then back to her lips. When I lift my chin to look at her face she’s smiling. “We should probably get some rest.”

  “I am exhausted.” I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

  I love her smell and the way her body molds into mine. I’m beat, but with all the kissing my body is too wound up and it takes a while to fall asleep.

  A beeping sound wakes me, and I suck in a deep breath. Disoriented, I scan the room for the source of the noise. Liz’s phone vibrates on the side table, but she doesn’t move. I can’t reach the device and slowly move away from her and around to the other side of the bed. As I stop the alarm, her eyes flutter.

  “Was that my alarm? Did we sleep for two hours?”

  “Two hours?” I hold up her phone. “I must’ve been really tired.”

  “Well, from the description of Carlos’s party, I thought we’d need the sleep.”

  “Yeah, I think I was there till two last time. I’m going to freshen up.” I motion to my restroom.

  When I return, Liz has occupied the guest bath. I make my way to the kitchen and find the meat for Jeff’s party. Liz joins me and puts her salad together.

  “We ready?”

  “What, to be cross-examined by Josie?”

  “Maybe she’ll bring someone.” I cross into the living room and start to slide on my toga.

  “One can dream. I’m going to put on my costume in your room. She moves into the room and cl
oses the door behind her.

  It isn’t long before she’s done and we’re ready to head out. At Jeff’s, we find a parking space a block down and walk to his place.

  “So, what’s the plan?” she asks. “What time are we going to the other party?”

  “It’s half an hour’s drive, so maybe we can leave at nine?”

  “Sounds good.” She slips her hand in mine.

  I’m not sure whether she’s nervous about this event, the next, or both. Josie and Celeste feel like the only wild cards in my night.

  On the porch, Liz spins to face me. “So, how many of these girls have you gone out with?”

  “What? None.” My mind reels as I realize we haven’t had the complete exes talk.

  “Seriously? You’re not lying to me?” One of her eyebrows cocks up.

  “Why would I?”

  “Josie thought she had some claim on you.”

  “It was all in her head. Maybe because I talked to her. We were sort of friends.”

  Her eyes hold my gaze. “Okay, anybody else I should be wary of?”

  “I’ve talked to one of Isabelle’s friend’s, Celeste, before. Nothing more. And this girl, Mia and I danced at Carlos’s party once.”

  “And that’s the full disclosure of your dating life since you’ve lived here?”

  “Yes.” I stuff my hands into my pockets and keep my eyes aimed on her face.

  “Okay, are you mad at me?”

  My eyes cut to the sky and back to her. “No, I sound really lame.”

  “Two girls in two months. That’s not bad.” She takes a deep breath and rings the bell.

  “What are you doing?” Sam greets us after a minute. “No one ever rings the bell here.”

  “Oh, sorry.” Liz’s face flushes red. “I think I did that last time too.”

  “No worries. Glad you guys are here.” Sam smiles at Liz and then pulls me into a hug. “Everyone’s enjoying the cool air out back.”

  We weave through the living room to the kitchen. Josie and Isabelle are working on organizing dishes.

  “Hi.” Isabelle hugs Liz and then me. “Glad you guys could make it. You look great, and oh, so cute, Cleopatra and Mark Antony, right?”

  “Thanks for inviting us. I love the pirate look.”

  Josie greets us, and we exit out onto the patio. “See, not bad.” I squeeze Liz’s hand.

  Although it gets dark much earlier, I like that it’s not sweltering. Most everyone is huddled around the drink table, save Jeff and John. Making my way over to them, I take Liz’s hand.

  “Look, its Cleopatra and…” Jeff starts.

  “Mark Antony.” I point between me and Liz. “She organized us.”

  “Nice sheet.” John laughs.

  “I thought so.”

  “Rabbi humor?” I motion to my neck, pointing out his priest collar.

  “Out of character, you might say.” He rolls his eyes.

  I glance at Liz, and she’s shaking her head, giggling. At least she’s not offended. We make our way to the drinks and find Beth Anne and Cody. Beth Anne is wearing a cowboy hat and boots, as is Cody.

  “I don’t think you get the point.” I nudge Beth Anne.

  “You think this one is going to wear a costume?” She points at Cody. “I gave up years ago.”

  We grab beers and chat until Jeff announces the meat is done. Inside, Liz and I get our plates and return outside with our food. We sit and eat on the porch steps. I’m halfway through a bite when a cheer goes up.

  “Celeste,” Beth Anne calls, skipping to Celeste and wrapping an arm around her back. “I’m so glad you made it.”

  My eyes meet hers for a second. Celeste’s gaze darts to Liz and then refocuses on Beth Anne. I introduce them, and Celeste walks to the food table. After Liz and I finish eating, we mingle through the crowd. My alarm dings at nine, and I search the crowd for Liz.

  I weave through the group to her. As I reach her, she winds her arm around my waist. “Time for part two?”

  “Yep.” I kiss her head. We find Jeff and Isabelle and say our goodbyes.

  As we walk to the car, I take Liz’s hand.

  “Celeste is tall and beautiful,” she starts.

  “What?” I stop.

  “I’m just saying she’s tall and beautiful.” Liz shrugs.

  “So?” I proceed to the car. “You’re tall and beautiful.”

  Liz stops in front of her door. “I’m not that tall.”

  “Really?” I stand in front of her. “I thought you were.”

  “Yeah, no. People think that because I have long legs. I’m only five-six.”

  I place my hands on her hips. “I don’t care.”

  “That’s the first thing my step-dad said about you, that you were really tall.”

  “It’s a blessing and a curse. Why are we talking about this?”

  “I’m surprised you didn’t go for Celeste.”

  “I don’t know. I wasn’t interested in her.” Pushing the button to unlock the doors, I reach around Liz for the door handle.

  “She’s really smart.” Liz slides into her seat when I open the door.

  “But you like all the stuff I do. Plus, you’re smart and funny.” Rounding the car, I jump into my seat. “You ready?”

  “I can’t believe I’m going to a major league baseball player’s house.”

  “It’s really more of an estate.”

  “Oh, now I don’t feel nervous at all.” Liz rolls her eyes.

  Watching for traffic, I pull into the street. “Think of it more as a venue. It’s going to look like a huge club.”

  “Yep, not helping.”

  “It’ll be fun.” I squeeze her hand. “You like dancing. We can stay on the dance floor the whole time.”

  She fills the drive with commentary on all our friends at Jeff’s place, ending with her avoidance of Josie.

  “We should do stuff with your people, Brad, or your friends from work.”

  “Oh no.” She shakes her head. “My work friends are lunch buddies, and Brad, he’s the guy next door. I like Isabelle and Beth Anne, even Sam. Jeff and Cody are nice, and so is John. Really, everyone from the Canyon trip group is good, save Josie.”

  At Carlos’s place, I stop at the gates and show my identification. We wind through the palms lining the drive to the front of the house.

  “Oh, my goodness, you weren’t kidding. I can’t believe this,” Liz exclaims.

  “Kind of intimidated me my first time, too.” I open my door for the valet attendant.

  Handing him the keys, I wind around and get Liz’s door. I take her hand, and we walk up the wide stair case. Guards check my invitation at the top, and we proceed through the entrance. Carlos and Eva are dressed in medieval attire, and I feel pretty good about Liz’s and my costumes. I’m wearing a high-end sheet, so it isn’t obvious I stole it from the linen closet.

  “Zack, so glad you made it.” Eva plants a kiss on each of my cheeks. “And this must be Liz.” She grips Liz’s hands. “I love your costume. So perfect. And you even got him in something. I’m impressed. I expected to see Zack in his polo shirt again.”

  I defend myself. “Hey, I’m capable of adapting to my surroundings.”

  “I’ll give you that for tonight.” Eva smiles and winks at me.

  Carlos steps towards me, wrapping an arm around my back. “Zack.” He steps back. “And Liz.” He takes her hand and kisses her cheek. “So glad you made it. Let me give you a tour. Hey,” he yells over his shoulder as we walk away, “I’m giving Liz a tour.”

  “Okay.” Eva waves as she greets the next guest.

  “Wow, glad to get away from that line for a minute. This way.” He motions to the bar. “What do you drink?” he asks when we reach the counter.

  I get a beer, and Liz orders a glass of red wine. Carlos leads us through the public rooms set up for the party—one with food, a second holding couches and lounging areas—and then out to the pool and hot tub. There is a second bar set up outsi
de along with another food table. Waitstaff dressed in black swirl through the crowd carrying trays. Next, he leads us into the kitchen where the catering staff is busy cooking various finger foods.

  “This way,” he prompts, and we end up in a study off the kitchen. The room is smaller than the rest but still bigger than my apartment. “Sit.” He gestures to the leather sofa in front of the fireplace.

  “What a place. Thanks so much for having us,” Liz tells Carlos as we sit opposite him.

  “I’m so glad you came. Was starting to think you guys bailed on me. I got some info for you. The other guys told me they don’t start calling PT staff for the next season till mid-November. So, I wouldn’t start sweating till Thanksgiving.”

  “Sweet. Thanks for the info,” I tell him.

  “Well.” He stands.” Eva is going to be mad enough at me as it is, so I should get back.”

  Liz stands. “Thanks for the tour.”

  “No problem. Enjoy,” Carlos motions for her to proceed ahead of him.

  We walk through the kitchen to the living room, where people are milling about. Carlos waves and heads to the main entrance.

  “So, what now? You hungry? Want to dance?” I ask Liz.

  “Do you know anyone else here?”

  I scan the room. “I don’t see anyone in the direct vicinity.”

  “Let’s walk.” She swirls her wine in the air.

  We move into the main study.

  “This house is unbelievable,” Liz shouts over the music spilling from the next room.

  Sets of fingers cup over my eyes. “Hola, Zack. Buenos noches.” Mia appears in front of me, followed by Katie and Michelle.

  “Hi, guys. Wow, it’s been forever.” I hug Michelle and then Katie and smile at Mia, remembering when I left her in the driveway at Carlos’s last party.

  “Yeah, now that the season is over, they’ll be hosting more parties,” Michelle tells us.

  “This is Liz.” I wrap my arm around her.

  “Hi.” Michelle jumps on her toes and hugs and kisses Liz, as does Katie.

  “So, you’re the girl Carlos was telling us about? It’s nice to meet you.” Katie steps out of the embrace with Liz. “Where have you been hiding?”

  Liz’s eyes cut to me. I wrap an arm around her waist. “We were in Milwaukee visiting my family last weekend.”