My Dearest Naomi

by Jerry

  This world will rend and tear the soul,

  It leaves, it bleeds, it breaks the whole.

  Yet through it all, I have one hope,

  One anchor fast, which holds the rope.

  A comfort sweet which knows no storm,

  The voice that speaks with clearest form.

  My heart is full and overflows,

  Each time it thinks and fully knows.

  That you will true and faithful be,

  To God, to love, to me.

  There’s a school board meeting at the schoolhouse tonight, and I hope it goes as well as the others have.

  I’ve noticed lately the children don’t seem as enthused about school as they used to be. A lot of it might have to do with the fact that it’s cold outside, and we have to stay inside for recesses. This morning I asked them if they would be ready for school again after Thanksgiving vacation. The eighth graders both vigorously shook their heads no.

  In class nobody acted as if they had the blues too badly until I got to the eighth-grade arithmetic class. The two girls were as sour as lemons. I might as well have been talking to the fence posts outside. It would have done as much good.

  I counted your letters and cards tonight. There were thirty-six, so you are doing as well as I am. I have one more sheet to go in this tablet, which will mean that I have written 100 pages—most of them used in letters to you.

  The singing last night went well. Everyone sang for fifteen minutes, followed by a group of fifth and sixth graders. They weren’t all that great. Six young people—three boys and three girls—sang next, doing very well, I thought, making up for the schoolchildren.

  How wonderful it would be to have you around here. I miss you much.

  Tuesday evening…

  The sunset was beautiful tonight, with the moon on the other horizon full and rising. To see such things increases my loneliness, but I wouldn’t miss it. God’s creation has such deep and rich beauty.

  I’m having an awful time getting through my daily schedule at school, but I managed today. I’m getting good at cutting minutes here and there.

  By the way, everyone is asking if they are receiving wedding invitations. I said “Most certainly. Once it happens.”

  Love you,

  Eugene

  November 30

  Dearest Naomi,

  I received your letter today that was written on Sunday. In my selfishness, I’m glad you say you’re lonely. You’re sharing my pain. I go through my worst lonely spells over the weekend when there’s little to do and more time to think. I try to stay busy because I feel better when I’m working. I’m hoping after Christmas things will improve. At least everyone claims so around here. They say things go faster downhill, so hopefully time will fly after Christmas.

  I received a Thanksgiving card today from my relatives in Ohio. My unmarried aunt Martha is also teaching school this year. She wrote a full page of local news, so that now means I have more letters to write in return.

  The children have started coloring the decorations for Christmas. Today we made double bells; tomorrow will be single bells and wreaths. All this will end up hanging from the ceiling. The name sheets in the windows get changed soon, and perhaps manger scenes made and colored. That is if the children have the time. I don’t color, but it falls on me to hang everything from the ceiling.

  I don’t know why it bothers me, as this is winter after all, but it sure gets dark early around here.

  Thursday evening…

  I was surprised to find a letter from you when I arrived home. I’m not surprised to hear that Jonathon and Mary are dating again. That’s kind of how those things go.

  Sharon had her last day of school today until sometime in the spring. She’s leaving with her parents for sunny Florida. They make the trip every winter, which means all her schoolwork has to be sent back for checking. This, of course, will make extra work for me. But so it goes. I can’t say I wasn’t warned. The school board told me from the beginning that some of the students do this every year.

  I’m alone again tonight, and it’s hard telling when Lonnie and Luella will be home. Hopefully they’ll be back before I leave for the volleyball game, but I guess it doesn’t matter. The house will stay standing by itself.

  It had been raining lightly most of the day, changing to an awful downpour around the time school let out. As Lester went out the door, he hollered back, “See you tomorrow on the waves.” He’s funny sometimes.

  Lydia is having problems comprehending her arithmetic. I think if I had more time to spend with her I could improve the situation. We will see what chances can be squeezed into the busy schedule.

  The children finished the new name sheets today. It’s a picture of a snowman with gloves, holding a shovel and wearing a scarf. Underneath, in the snow, is each child’s name. We took the old ones down from the windows and Scotch-taped the new ones up. The manger scenes are done, and Crystal came up with the great idea of coloring angels to fly above Mary, Joseph, and the baby. I hope to get those up later in the week.

  So long! I’ve got to run.

  Love you,

  Eugene

  * * *

  DECEMBER

  * * *

  December 1

  Dear Eugene,

  I received your altogether wonderful letter. And this can only mean one thing. Such a wonderful letter must have a wonderful guy behind it.

  I can understand that you had to eat with a girl at the box social, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t a bit jealous. I was glad that you didn’t play the other game. Now that might have been trouble. I would have been more than a little jealous.

  I didn’t have to work yesterday or today. I thought I had to babysit for my new job this afternoon, but the lady wasn’t feeling well so she called it off. Mom’s at the sewing. Dad and Don are off helping Monroe with something. You are probably eating lunch at the school, as it’s 12:30.

  I picked your letter up again and reread the poem. The first time it didn’t really soak in, but this time it did. It catches my fancy exactly, and I like it very much.

  I’ll now feel much more like going to the youth gathering tonight, since you’ve cheered me up. Don said he’s not going, that he hates sewing, but he might change his mind since it’s just up the road at Bishop Enos’s place.

  I never coax him to go anywhere. I just tell him he can do exactly as he likes, but that I’m going if I feel like it. A girl can drive her own horse just fine. So there.

  I love you,

  Naomi

  December 2

  My dearest Eugene,

  Tonight on the way home from work I thought, “If only I could at least look forward to seeing you once a week, that would be so great.” I arrived home to find a letter from you, and that will have to make do for now, I suppose. I plopped down on the couch and read it through, right then and there.

  I really liked how you handled the eighth graders in their sour mood. You must be good with them.

  Dad and Mom went to the school meeting tonight, and some of the local young folks came by on the spur of the moment. We played games, laughed a lot, and I served cinnamon rolls I made yesterday. Mom shouldn’t complain as we can bake fresh ones tomorrow. At 9:30, Mom and Dad walked in, so the school meeting had let out early for a change. Everyone must have jumped up and scurried for home.

  Tomorrow afternoon I have to stay with grumpy John and their nasty dog. I think the dog has learned to tolerate me as a necessary evil in his life.

  Oh, Mom said the Christmas school program is scheduled for Thursday evening on December 23. Will you be here? I sure hope so.

  Well, it’s around 11:00, and I need some sleep. I don’t think I’m getting near enough rest, which is my own fault.

  I love you very much.

  Naomi

  December 3

  My dearest Naomi,

  It’s still raining buckets around here. Lonnie said this morning people are having trouble with their basements flooding
. No schoolchildren arrived on the waves, though.

  The volleyball game last night was a flop. So many people showed up to play, we had to take turns rotating in. To top things off, everyone seemed worn out. It must be the rainy weather, as I didn’t feel much like playing either, which is strange. I usually enjoy volleyball immensely regardless of the circumstances.

  It looks as if we’ll have the Christmas program on Friday evening instead of the following Wednesday. The reason is that Dawn, Lester, and Dakota are leaving for Florida on December 20, and I can’t afford to lose more participants. There’s already too few pupils for a good program without losing three more. I don’t know what the great attraction in Florida is—the weather I guess. It sure has gobs of people around here heading south.

  The schoolchildren are complaining because they will only have a week–and-a-half vacation over Christmas. I figure they will have to complain, as I need as many schooldays in as possible so I can dismiss earlier in the spring. We’re short days already, and there’s still the possible snow days ahead.

  Lonnie claims Iowa’s likely to be swept with snowstorms this year. I can imagine myself sitting snowbound at the schoolhouse with no pupils, losing days like flies dropping from an Amish summer barn spraying.

  Either way, I’m planning on leaving here the morning of December 23, at five o’clock and being there in Indiana that evening. My ride has already been scheduled.

  Tonight I’m going with Lonnie and Luella for foot treatments—only the treatments aren’t for me. Lonnie and Luella’s feet are receiving the doctor’s attention, while I’m along for the ride. Both think the treatments help their stress levels, but I think it’s mostly in their heads. Likely a way for some quack doctor to separate them from their hard-earned money. How can a foot massage have anything to do with stress levels?

  Laverne was back in school today after being absent for two days. He’s under medication twenty-four hours a day, and I’m sure this has to affect his mind. I mean, it would me. The poor boy. He doesn’t seem as sharp as he was at the beginning of the school year.

  The school schedule moved along smoothly today, after I anticipated a rough day yesterday. I’m not sure because of what anymore. I forget and I’m not even under medication. I guess you never can tell what’s going to happen from one day to the next.

  I was looking for a letter from you today, but there was none. Well, tomorrow should bring one, I hope.

  We had a nice snowfall this morning, which gave me a chirpy sort of feeling—boyish enthusiasm no doubt. The temperature was moderate, around the mid-twenties, rising during the day, which made for good snowball weather. At noon we went outside and had a grand fight—at least the boys did. The girls weren’t too interested. If you would have seen me, you’d think you’ll be marrying a youngster. So prepare yourself.

  Luella broke her clock today—the one she really likes. It’s down in the kitchen being fixed by Lonnie. She said at the supper table that she didn’t want Lonnie to try because he would break it even more. Whereupon Lonnie said, “Well, I’ve fixed a chain on a manure spreader before.”

  “Like that has anything to do with my clock,” Luella retorted.

  Now Lonnie is hollering down in the kitchen that he has fixed the clock, but from the noises Luella is making, I don’t think she believes him.

  Well, so it goes around here.

  I love you,

  Eugene

  December 5

  Beloved Eugene,

  Greetings of Christian love. This finds me wondering what you’re doing.

  Dad, Mom, Rosanna, and I just finished playing Monopoly. Dad, the usual tyrant, wiped us all out. We are done with the chores, and I am getting ready to head out for the youth supper and hymn singing. Don is staying home. We only have one horse that’s on the go, which isn’t the young folks’, so I’m driving Mom and Dad’s horse tonight—Radar. Vick kicked around in his stall this week, landing on the partition and still isn’t well enough to use.

  We had lots of visitors at church today, and a nice discussion with some of the girls afterward. Your sister Heidi wondered what happens when someone hurts you and you forgive him. Does the hurt disappear? We decided that it does, but the problem is to really forgive someone from your heart.

  I don’t have any news at all, so this is a short letter. I can hardly wait for Christmas to see you. I miss you so much.

  I love you,

  Naomi

  December 6

  Dearest Eugene,

  It was awful last night, seeing all the steadies leaving early, but I comforted myself with the thought that you would soon be home for at least one weekend.

  I don’t have to work at my Tuesday job after New Year’s Day, which is great, as my schedule is jammed with all the work at home. I don’t think Dad’s going to milk much after next year, but then he could surprise us all. He keeps talking one way and then the other.

  Mom made an eye appointment in Worthington for me, so I’ll probably have new glasses when you come home. I’m so afraid I can’t find anything decent that I like. Oh well, stop worrying, Naomi!

  Tuesday evening…

  This finds me tired and worn out. The chores ran late, the cows were out of silage, which I had to throw down by climbing nearly to the top of the silo. We really do need someone else helping around here. But Don can’t be everywhere at once, and Rosanna isn’t old enough for such things.

  Dad and Don have been building forms all day for the sidewalk and steps running from the new shed to the barn. They were also talking about putting in a new hitching post, which will make me happy. Dad came up with the idea today. That way you’d have a nice place to tie up when you visit. And with the new sidewalks around the barn, we won’t be wading in mud next spring. From how the weather is acting, we might use them this winter yet.

  Dad had a little accident tonight while giving one of the young calves its milk. The calf bucked him hard, and down Dad went. Mom was in the barn at the time. She said he got this rueful grin on his face, but he got right back up anyway. When he told the story at the supper table, he sounded more disgusted than anything and claimed he wasn’t hurt.

  After Christmas there is another family moving into the community. I’ve never heard of them, as they are from Ohio. They won’t be in our district, so we will see. I’m not sure where their place is. I think up north of here somewhere, near Roy Miller’s home.

  With a longing heart,

  Naomi

  December 8

  Dearest Naomi,

  Greetings of love.

  I have reread your last two letters this evening since nothing new came in the mail. I think they are very good, and there must also be a wonderful girl behind them. The letter from yesterday was out of order, having gone through Gary, Indiana. The postman must not have been paying attention.

  We’re working hard decorating the schoolhouse for Christmas. Today the children colored more angels. Tomorrow we’ll work on camels and a picture of Mary leaning over Jesus in the manager. We decided that Mary and the angels will go up on strings from the ceiling, with two angels standing on each side. We’ll probably put stars on each side, with other stars spread out over the schoolhouse. I started hanging the angels tonight but didn’t finish. They look nice though.

  We’re having a stage from which to perform the Christmas program. The school board was here setting it up last Saturday, and a local tradition was brought to my attention. The school usually has a Christmas tree over the holidays. So I’m going to keep the tradition. No one from home will see it, and I can always say it wasn’t my idea. Hopefully that will be okay. Aren’t we supposed to honor traditions?

  There will be a curtain hanging across the stage that we can pull back and forth for the different scenes. Everything’s a bit new for me, but I think I’ll like it. One thing I’ve worked on but haven’t been able to improve is the children’s singing. That is what it is.

  I’ve been feeling a little sick the last few days,
but I haven’t stopped working at school. I just can’t spare the days. Luella sent along aspirins for when the headaches get too bad. I try not to get too close to the children, which is a bit hard, but will be worth it to keep them from catching whatever I’ve got.

  I’ll also be going to Bible study tonight.

  Thursday evening…

  Whatever bug I had is gone, I think. Last night I told Luella I was sick, but she wouldn’t believe me. She told me it was just my imagination. So I said, “Okay, bring me the thermometer and I’ll show you.”

  The temperature was close to 100, but I still went to Bible study. I don’t know where the bug went, but I woke up feeling much better this morning.

  Getting exercise is a problem for me when I teach school, so I have been trying to jog when I have the chance.

  And how is this for a little incident? The other day Brandon took all his books home from school to show his mom, he said. Then he forgot to bring them back the next morning. I told him he still has to do his work, but at home that evening. He came up to class with the others and listened to the lesson. That way he would know what to do when he got home. By afternoon though, this all must have gotten to him because he put his head in his hands and started crying. There wasn’t much I could do but wait until he stopped.

  We’ve practiced the Christmas program four times now. There are still places where there could be improvements. Mark and Anthony haven’t been to school all week, which will make things hard for them, but I guess everyone will have to make the best of things.

  Luella asked me if I wanted to go for a chiropractor treatment for a leg ache that I have. I told her no, at least not for now. I don’t like chiropractors—or any doctors for that matter.

  Talking about doctors, Mom wrote that they want me to visit a doctor one of their friends has recommended. Someone in Missouri. It’s because of my occasional depression problems. I don’t know about all that. A doctor’s not going to do any good. I think my depression is a result of a thing called life.