Drew

by Lagomarsino, Giulia

  She didn’t say anything. She didn’t try to make me feel better or tell me I was a jerk. She just held me tightly to her. After what seemed like forever, she finally spoke.

  “I worry about that, too. I think that’s why it’s so hard for me to move on. I worry that I’ll forget him. He was a great man and he deserves to be talked about all the time and I can’t. I won’t even be able to tell his kids what a great man he was. They can never know.”

  I didn’t know what she was saying exactly, but I imagined it had something to do with not being able to tell me things. What could she have possibly gotten herself into that she couldn’t even talk about the father of her kids? I couldn’t ask her though. I promised her that I wouldn’t ask questions that she couldn’t answer.

  “How long has Iris been gone?”

  “Seven years.”

  It seemed like a lifetime now. She pulled back and looked up at me.

  “I think that’s why you’ve always felt her. She knew that you would need her, but now that you’re settling down, she knows that you’re ready to move on. She wouldn’t want you to mourn her all the time or even feel depressed on the anniversary of her death. She would want you to feel happy that you had the time you did with her. She would want you to celebrate her life.” She bowed her head and stood up. “At least, that’s what I would want. I’m sorry. It wasn’t my place to say anything.”

  “Thank you. I think that helps.” I stood and took her hand.

  “Really?”

  “I think you’re right. I should be celebrating my time with her instead of getting drunk every year on the day she died. She would be so ashamed of me if she saw me today. I used to be a different man. I was happy and I wasn’t such an asshole.”

  “You’re still a good man, but life has changed you and that’s okay. It would probably be more depressing if you went on as if she never existed.”

  “I don’t have anything left of her. I gave everything to her parents and the only thing I kept was her wedding ring. I don’t even have a picture.”

  She squeezed my hand and we went back inside where I excused myself for the rest of the night. I was going to have to put my ghosts to sleep and be the man that Iris knew me as.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Sarah

  DREW WAS A good man and there was so much that he had done for me that I wanted to do something special for him. It took a little work on my part, some begging for Sebastian’s help, but I finally got what I needed. Iris’ parents phone number. Now I just had to work up the courage to make the call. I needed to make sure that they knew I was only his friend. It wouldn’t help them any to think he had moved on from their daughter. Finally, I pressed send and waited for someone to answer.

  “Ward residence.”

  “Hello, my name is Sarah. I’m calling for Olivia Ward.”

  “This is she. How may I help you?”

  “I’m a friend of Drew’s.”

  There was a silence on the other end and when she didn’t say anything, I pushed forward.

  “I’m calling because I think Drew really needs you right now. He’s struggling with guilt over moving on from your daughter and I think he could use your help.”

  “Moving on with you?”

  “No.” Well, it was mostly true. We hadn’t moved on together even if he had suggested us doing so. “He forgot this year.”

  “What do you mean ‘he forgot’?”

  There was no judgement in her tone, just genuine curiosity.

  “He forgot the day she died and he’s really beating himself up over it.”

  “Oh dear. I expected that he would have moved on years ago. It’s been seven years.”

  “I know and I’m very sorry for your loss.”

  “Dear, there is no need to be sorry. Iris was a shining star and she would yell at anyone who mourned her seven years later. Is that what he’s been doing all this time? He left so quickly after she died, we just assumed that he would start a new life somewhere else.”

  “It’s my understanding that he moved around for about five years and only settled here about a year and a half ago. I’ve known him for just about six months. He told me that he doesn’t have any pictures of her. I thought…I thought that maybe you and your husband could call or even visit. I think it would help him.”

  “Of course. We never stopped thinking of Drew, but we assumed that he didn’t want to see us. He loved Iris so much and her illness was very hard on him.”

  “When do you think you could come? I could have a room made up for you. I’m his next door neighbor, but I’m living with him while I’m having work done on my house.”

  “Oh. I see.”

  “No. I mean that I’m pregnant with twins and I’m having work done so that I can have a nanny stay with the twins while I’m at work, but they’re due any day now and Drew offered to let me stay with him so that the twins weren’t exposed to all the construction. The nanny is currently living here too.”

  I was babbling and I wished I could get myself to shut up.

  “Dear, it’s fine. Even if you were with him, it would be fine. We didn’t expect Drew to stay a widower forever.”

  “Okay. Well, anyway. Let me know when you can come and I’ll make all the arrangements. Why don’t you give me your email address and I’ll send you his address and my contact information.”

  We finished up a few minutes later and I hung up feeling better about the whole thing. Hopefully, Drew would be happy as well.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  I was nervous. No. Nervous didn’t even describe what I was feeling right now. Gut churning, heart pounding, upset stomach, extreme sweating. I couldn’t hide what I was feeling if I tried. Drew had already noticed and the concern was written all over his face. Today was the day. His in-laws would be here in less than an hour and I still hadn’t told him they were coming. In my mind, it would go better if he didn’t have time to think about it.

  He was still beating himself up over forgetting about Iris, so I really hoped that this visit put everything into perspective for him. I continued to pace around the house, finding little things that I could do to make their stay more comfortable. I had set up my room for them to use and I planned to stay with Drew over the next couple of nights. If he was upset and didn’t want me to stay with him, Cara would let me sleep in her bed. She had a king bed, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Then I thought of something else, what if Drew didn’t want me staying with him because he didn’t want his in-laws to get the wrong picture? Good Lord, I was an idiot.

  I smacked myself in the head as I paced around the living room and grunted in frustration. Drew, who had been watching me pace from his perch on the couch, jumped up.

  “Wha-what’s wrong? Is it time?”

  “No. Everything’s fine. I promise. It’s not time.”

  “Then what the hell is wrong? You look like you’re on the verge of a panic attack.”

  Time to come clean. “Drew, I did something that you may not like. In hindsight, it may not have been the smartest thing and I know I should have talked to you about it first, but I just couldn’t stand to see you so upset last week and I wanted to do something to make it better. I’m so sorry..”

  “Just tell me what you did.”

  “I-”

  I didn’t get to finish my thought because the doorbell rang, cutting through the air like a sharp knife. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before heading to the front door. Drew beat me to it though and flung open the door. I was behind him and couldn’t tell what his reaction was to the couple standing before him. I could see Olivia standing there with tears in her eyes and Jonathan, her husband, holding her hand and looking kindly at Drew. I was so afraid that Drew was going to turn around and yell at me, but instead he stepped forward and took Olivia in his arms, giving her a big hug. When he stepped back, he held out his hand for Jonathan to take. Feeling like an intruder on this reunion, I backed out of the living room and headed for the kitchen, but was sto
pped by Drew.

  His arms came around me from behind and wrapped around my large belly. He kissed the side of my head, then whispered in my ear.

  “Thank you, Sarah.”

  Then he was gone. I didn’t stick around for introductions. I assumed that Drew needed some time alone with them. I made myself some tea and grabbed my jacket off the hook by the back door. I sat outside on the porch for a long time, thinking about how nice it would be if I could see Todd’s family again. They didn’t get along, but I wondered what it would be like to see the family of the person you lost. Would I feel closure? Would I be more upset?

  Nature called and I couldn’t sit out in the cold any longer if I didn’t want to pee my pants. I headed back inside to see Drew, Olivia, and Jonathan sitting at the kitchen table telling stories and laughing. I gave a quick wave before speeding off to the bathroom. I squeaked in surprise when Drew was waiting for me outside the bathroom door.

  “Come with me. I want you to meet Iris’ parents.”

  I took his hand and let him lead me to the kitchen. I was suddenly nervous again. Would they like me? Would I stack up against their daughter? Why did it even matter? I wasn’t with Drew. I wasn’t taking their daughter’s place. I put a big smile on my face, reminding myself that I called them here for Drew and that’s what I needed to focus on.

  “Olivia. Jonathan. This is Sarah. She’s the woman who called you and asked you to come here.”

  They both stood and gave me hugs.

  “It’s so nice to meet you, dear. I can’t tell you what this does for my heart to see Drew happy again.”

  I wanted to argue that Drew wasn’t really happy, but I wouldn’t ruin her moment.

  “It’s very nice to meet you, Sarah. Drew’s been telling us that you’re going to have twins. Congratulations.”

  “Thank you. I’m a little nervous, but excited too.”

  Drew wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to him. “You’ll do great.”

  We sat down at the table and the Ward’s filled me in on stories of Drew and Iris when they were dating. Apparently, Iris lived at home when they started dating and they snuck around quite a bit. Olivia told me how they knew from their first date that Drew and Iris were dating, but Jonathan and she decided to let them think they didn’t know anything. The veil of secrecy ended when Drew was climbing the lattice on the side of the house to see Iris and it pulled free from the wall, causing Drew to fall into a rose bush. He spent the next few hours having thorns pulled from his body, all while her parents laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation.

  Drew sat next to me laughing at his in-laws stories. For the first time in a long time, Drew looked truly happy. This must have been the man that they knew all those years ago. He no longer seemed to be carrying around the weight of the world.

  At the end of the night, I showed Olivia and Jonathan to the room I had been using and left them for the night. Drew grabbed my hand and took me to his room without me having to ask if I could stay with him. I had already taken clothes into his room earlier just so that I was prepared when the Wards wanted to go to sleep. There was no question in Drew’s eyes about where I would be staying tonight. After we both got ready for bed, I nestled into Drew’s body, relishing in the comfort that he provided.

  “Thank you for today. I don’t think I ever would have seen them again if it weren’t for you.”

  “I thought you would be upset with me.”

  “If you had suggested it first I probably wouldn’t have even considered it, but when I saw them, I just knew that I needed to talk to them again.”

  “I’m glad I called then.”

  “Do you still talk to anyone that you used to know? I mean, like family of the father?”

  “No. I don’t talk to anyone anymore.”

  It was more than I had ever really given him before, but since I wasn’t actually giving out information about my past life, I figured it was okay.

  “Goodnight, Sarah.”

  “Goodnight, Drew.”

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  When I woke up Sunday morning, I was alone in bed. My tummy was growling, so after quickly getting dressed, I headed for the stairs. I was just about to head down when I heard Drew talking with Olivia and Jonathan. It sounded like an important conversation and I didn’t want to interrupt, so I hung out for a minute to see if I should head down or go back to the bedroom.

  “You know we would have been there for you, Drew. We knew how badly you were hurting.” Olivia said.

  “I know. I just needed to get away. It was too difficult being there. I probably shouldn’t have stayed away so long and I’m not even sure what I was hoping I would find, but it didn’t really help either.”

  “Well, you found Sarah. She seems like a lovely woman. Maybe she’s what you needed to find?” she asked.

  “She’s not…She’s dealing with her own stuff right now. She’s not ready.”

  “Son, my Iris was the best woman I’ve ever known. There’s no replacing her.” My heart sank at hearing his father-in-law’s statement. “Sarah is different from Iris, though. Not in a bad way, just different. I can tell she’s a good woman because she called us. Calling the widow’s in-laws had to be a difficult thing for her to do.”

  “She did it to help me, but it’s not a big deal to her because we aren’t together.”

  “Sure. You keep telling yourself that, Drew. I see how you look at her. Any fool could see how much you love her,” Jonathan said sternly.

  “I don’t love her. I can’t. Iris is-”

  “Iris would want you to be happy and I’m guessing that she planned this whole thing.” Olivia’s voice was strong and full of conviction. “You know how Iris was when she wanted her way. She schemed to get you, you know.”

  “What?”

  “Dear, you really didn’t know, did you? Iris had her sights set on you since you were little kids. She had a crush on you all through high school. She planned for months how to get you. Of course, she didn’t know that I knew that, but I’m her mother and there wasn’t much she could hide from me.”

  “Drew, it’s time to stop running. Iris would have loved Sarah and she would be glad to see you’re happy again.”

  “But I forgot her.”

  “You didn’t forget her. Just because you don’t think about her and mourn her every single minute of the day doesn’t mean that you forgot. Even if you only ever thought about her once a year, she would still be with you. If you died, would you have wanted Iris moping around seven years later?”

  “It’s time to let go, Drew. You have a great woman upstairs that needs you and even if she’s not ready yet, she wants you, too. Just give her time. That’s how I got Olivia. I waited her out and when she was ready, I swooped in for the kill.”

  “Sure, Jonathan. You keep telling yourself that.”

  They chuckled and I felt like it was finally safe to come downstairs. I waited another minute, then made sure to make a little noise on the way down so they would know I was coming.

  “Good morning, Sarah. You look like you’re ready to have those babies any day now.”

  “Yeah, just another week and they’ll be here.”

  Drew guided me to a chair and headed over to the fridge. “I’ll make us all some breakfast.”

  I chatted with the Ward’s while Drew started making breakfast. They were only staying until tomorrow morning, so they decided they just wanted to visit at the house until they had to leave. After breakfast, Olivia brought a photo album from upstairs.

  “I thought you might like to have this. You left everything behind.”

  I sat next to Drew on the couch and looked at a photos of him and Iris. She was beautiful and you could see in their wedding photos how much they loved each other. I left Drew to look at the rest of the album and went to use the bathroom. That’s when I felt it. It was different than the Braxton Hicks. The tightening around my belly was like nasty cramps and I leaned against the wall until it passed.
I knew that I couldn’t go to the hospital right away, but I didn’t want to get Drew all wound up either.

  Not wanting Drew to see me, I called to him that I was going to lie down for a little while. If he saw me, he would know. Drew was perceptive like that. I had heard people say that it was best to nap before the labor got too intense. Whoever said that was possible was lying. Every time a contraction hit, it woke me up even more. After a while, lying down hurt and I decided that walking would be best. I got up and paced around the room, but all that seemed to do was make the contractions stronger and come faster.

  I had been timing myself for the past two hours and it was getting to be time to get to the hospital. The doctor had told me that since I was having twins, I shouldn’t wait as long to go to the hospital. The contractions were about five minutes apart consistently. I was just about to head downstairs when Drew walked into the room.

  “What’s going on? I can hear you wearing a hole in the floor.”

  “It’s time.”

  I swear his face went white. It was kind of comical and I couldn’t help but laugh. That is, until another contraction hit. I breathed through the pain and was relieved when it finally passed. Drew finally snapped out of it and came over to grab my elbow, steering me toward the stairs. I had to roll my eyes at how he treated me like I would fall down the stairs if he let go. Olivia and Jonathan stood when they saw us coming down the stairs.

  “Oh dear, you better get to the hospital. I know that look,” Olivia said with a smile on her face. She walked over to me and gave me a hug. “You call me when the babies are born. I want to see them before we head back home.”

  I smiled at her and Drew promised that he would call as soon as there was news.

  “Just make yourselves at home. There’s plenty of food-”

  “Drew, we’ve taken care of ourselves for the past how many years? I think we’ll be just fine. Go. Get Sarah to the hospital.”