The Reluctant Bride

by Leigh Greenwood

  “Because you’re too stubborn to know what’s good for you,” Stocker said, his voice less gruff, more like himself.

  “What makes you think Stocker knows what’s best for me?”

  “He’s a man.”

  Ah, the only reason men needed to justify their actions.

  That may be, but he has no reason to try to control what I do.”

  “He’s only thinking of your welfare.”

  “I’m capable of doing that.”

  “No woman can understand the dangers that surround her. It’s up to a man to protect her from her own folly.”

  If she’d ever had any intention of going with him, that comment would have ended it. Next time she was going to bring a rifle.

  “What’s keeping that boy?” Stocker asked.

  Tanzy turned around to see Tardy uncinch the saddle and throw it on the ground. Grabbing a handful of mane, he vaulted onto the horse’s back and kicked it into a gallop down the trail.

  “Where is he going?” Stocker asked, completely forgetting to disguise his voice.

  “I think he’s going after Russ,” Tanzy said, grinning, yet dreading what would happen when the two men met.

  “It won’t matter. You’ll be back in Boulder Gap long before Russ can get here.”

  He reached down, grasped her horse’s bridle, and turned it toward the trail. She considered jumping from the buggy but decided she preferred to let Stocker take her back to town. Once there, she intended to make his actions public, let it be known she would bring a rifle next time, and say that if he didn’t let her go, she’d have the sheriff arrest him for theft and kidnaping. The picture in her mind of what his face would look like then made her smile. He stopped where Tardy had dropped the saddle and dismounted.

  “He’d better not have ruined a perfectly good saddle. It cost—”

  Tanzy couldn’t believe Stocker thought she would sit calmly with her hands in her lap while he checked the saddle. She grabbed the reins, cracked the whip, and headed back down the trail as fact as she could. She knew it wouldn’t take Stocker long to catch her. She also knew he’d be tired, dusty, and out of temper. The knowledge made her smile.

  “Dammit, Tanzy,” he said when he’d brought the buggy to a stop a second time and turned it around. “You might as well get used to the fact that I’m not letting you go back to Tibbolt’s ranch.”

  “I had to try,” Tanzy said innocently.

  “It’s a waste of time. You know I’m smarter and stronger than you are.”

  She clamped her lips together to keep from telling him exactly what she thought of him.

  “I’ll have to send someone back for that saddle,” he said. “It’s too valuable to leave behind.”

  “No point in sending anyone back,” a voice called from the same juniper thicket Stocker had used to ambush Tanzy. “You can take it back with you now.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Tanzy nearly laughed aloud at the look of shock on Stocker’s face. She felt less amused when he reached for his gun.

  “I wouldn’t do that,” Russ said from concealment.

  “Come out, you coward, and face me.”

  “Not until you holster your gun. I don’t want to endanger Miss Gallant.”

  “If you really meant that, you wouldn’t have dragged her out to your ranch,” Stocker said as he shoved his gun back in its holster.

  Russ emerged from the thicket, his rifle cocked and ready. “Even if you succeeded in taking her back to Boulder Gap, my boys would come after you. With their being ex-cons, they surely wouldn’t balk at a little shooting and pillaging. I’m sure your friends would hate that. So you see, I’m doing the fine people of Boulder Gap a favor by not letting you kidnap Miss Gallant.”

  “By kidnaping her yourself?”

  “Miss Gallant was returning to the ranch of her own free will. Do you wish to go with Stocker?” Russ asked.

  “No,” Tanzy said.

  “Do you wish to return to the ranch?”

  “Yes.”

  “Dammit, Tanzy,” Stocker said, pulling off his mask, “you don’t know what you’re doing.”

  “I appreciate your concern for my welfare, I truly do,” Tanzy said to Stocker, “but I’m going to work for Russ until I’ve paid what I owe him.”

  “A gentleman wouldn’t hold you to that debt,” Stocker said.

  “You’ve always said I was a liar, a thief, and a rustler. How could I be all that and a gentleman, too?” Russ asked.

  Tanzy didn’t know whether Russ had a dry sense of humor or whether he was just trying to irritate Stocker. If it was the latter, he’d succeeded. Stocker was so angry his gun hand twitched.

  “Don’t try it,” Russ warned. “I can put a bullet through your trigger finger at this distance.”

  “You’ll pay for this,” Stocker fumed. “I’ll hunt you down.”

  “You’d better take Stocker’s gun,” Russ said to Tanzy. “He’s such an impulsive man, he might be foolish enough to try to use it even though I’ve got the drop on him.”

  Tanzy climbed down from the buggy and approached Stocker. She had to stand on her tiptoes to reach his gun, but she was able to remove it from his holster.

  “Put it in the buggy,” Russ said. “I hate to have to ride back into town to return it, but I don’t trust him not to use it on my back.”

  “I’m not a coward,” Stocker shouted. “When I kill you, I’ll be facing you.”

  “If you want to show Tanzy you’re really concerned for her, you can put that saddle in the buckboard,” Russ said, indicating the sidesaddle still lying where Tardy had dropped it. “I’ll pay you next time I’m in town.”

  Stocker had a lot to say, none of it good and much of it threats, before he disappeared down the road to town.

  “You want to know how Tardy found me so quickly, don’t you?” Russ asked. He’d tied his horse to the buggy and was driving.

  “Yes,” Tanzy said.

  “I wasn’t sure you’d be safe, so I decided to meet you.”

  “Where is Tardy?”

  “I sent him to the ranch to get another mount so he could return Stocker’s horse. I don’t want him charged with horse stealing.”

  They rode in silence. She couldn’t help wondering if Russ had changed his mind about wanting to marry her. He had kept his distance since the day they’d picked currants, but he’d been watching her with an intensity she found unnerving. She was always expecting something to happen that never did. She wasn’t sure how to describe it, but she knew something was going on between them.

  She had to face the fact that her resistance to the idea of marrying Russ was weakening, but was it weakening because she was falling in love with him? It was hard to say. She’d been attracted to Russ from the moment she first saw him. She’d categorized her feelings as physical attraction, something that was natural and understandable with such a handsome man, but not something on which to build a marriage. Then she realized she liked him as a man, too. He was gentle with her, thoughtful, and courteous. It was only after the fight with Stocker that she realized he didn’t respect women.

  Her feelings about that changed drastically when Welt told her about his mother and sister. He had ample reason to distrust women, to suspect their motives, to believe they couldn’t be faithful to their promises when something more interesting came along. The way the women in Boulder Gap acted only served to reinforce his opinion.

  When she decided against marrying him, he respected her enough not to pressure her. When she lost her job, he offered her one. He rarely commented on what she did at the ranch, but he never stopped her. But most important, she was the only one to whom he exposed any of his inner self. Surely a man would never do that if he didn’t believe she’d treat his revelations with consideration and respect.

  She wondered what he’d do if they ever disagreed on something important. He gave the men a lot of freedom to decide how to handle their share of the work, but he made the big decisions. As the
owner, it was his right. Marriage was different.

  As for the feud, she was beginning to question her understanding of the situation. He said he was defending his property, that if you weren’t strong enough to hold it, somebody would take it from you. She understood that. He had an abiding hatred for Stocker and responded without hesitation to each conflict, but he had never been the aggressor. Was Stocker the only one feuding? Was she trying to rationalize away her objections because she was falling in love with Russ?

  It would be easy to fall in love with him. He was misunderstood and mistreated by all but a few friends. That injustice stirred up her need to see fair play, stimulated her desire to see good find recognition and evil receive punishment. With the exception of Stocker, Russ had responded to his neighbors’ ostracism with a stoically calm acceptance of the situation.

  Then there was his relationship with Tardy. Russ devoted valuable hours to teaching the boy skills, to giving him the companionship of an older man who liked him and had respect for his abilities. He’d made a place for Tardy, made him feel appreciated, like he was wanted.

  She hadn’t seen it at first, but Russ had done that for her, too. He’d insisted that she have the protection of his ranch rather than confront a strange town with little money and no one to protect her. Even now he’d neglected his work to make sure she returned safely from town. Would a man do all of this for a woman he didn’t care about?

  “Why did you follow me?” she asked.

  “I told you, I wasn’t sure you’d be safe.”

  “That’s not what I’m asking. Why did you even stop to wonder if I’d be safe?”

  “That’s a strange question.”

  “Why?”

  “I’d wonder if any woman would be safe.”

  “You told me western men are very respectful of a good woman.”

  “Stocker would do anything he could to get back at me.”

  “Why bother about me? I’m just a cook and housekeeper. You can hire another one any time you want.”

  “I don’t want another one. The boys don’t, either,” he added after a pause. He kept his gaze forward, never turning to look at her.

  “What’s so special about me?”

  He didn’t answer.

  “Lots of women can cook and clean. Men, too.”

  “I don’t want another man at the ranch. Except for Welt, we’re all ex-cons. An outsider might think he was better just because he’d never been in prison.”

  “Nobody has a problem with Tardy.”

  He didn’t turn to her, but she could see a slow smile transform his face. It was at times like this that she found it hard not to want to see that smile for the rest of her life.

  “I think all of us see the best of ourselves in Tardy. We know where we went wrong and want to make sure it doesn’t happen to him.” Russ’s smile turned almost sentimental. “He’s like a big puppy, full of energy and willing to worship anybody who’ll give him five minutes of attention.”

  “Did anybody ever give you five minutes of attention?”

  The abrupt change in him made her regret asking that question. They rode for several minutes, Russ looking straight ahead again but his face working against some strong emotion.

  “My father abandoned my mother before I was born. The man everybody calls my father didn’t care what I did as long as I stayed away from him. My mother didn’t really love either of her children. I pretty much grew up on my own.”

  They’d wandered far from her question, the one to which she still wanted an answer. “Do you think I’m like Tardy, a puppy needing saving?” she asked.

  He turned then, and she could have sworn she saw a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

  “I expect you’ve excited a good many emotions in men, but I’m sure none of them ever thought of you as a puppy.”

  “But maybe I needed saving.”

  “Protection.”

  “I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”

  “You don’t know the West. Even most men can’t take care of themselves.”

  “Now just why do you care?”

  “Because I like you, dammit. I’ve told you before. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Did anybody ever tell you you were an unnatural, incomprehensible, frustrating woman?”

  “Several. I didn’t like it.”

  “Then stop being that way.”

  “Maybe I will if you’ll talk to me.”

  “What do you think I’ve been doing the last half hour?”

  “Trying to pick words that tell me as little as possible.”

  That stopped him in his tracks for several minutes.

  “What do you want to know?” he finally asked.

  “I’m not really sure.”

  “Woman, you’re stretching my patience.”

  “It’s about time. You’ve stretched mine often enough. I have a name. I prefer it to being addressed as woman.”

  “You made me angry.”

  “At least I got some emotion out of you.”

  “Did you feel any emotion when I kissed you?”

  He’d effectively put her in her place.

  “Yes, but I’m not sure what kind it was.”

  “You women beat all. Now you’ve got kinds of emotion. What will you have next?”

  “Of course there are kinds of emotion. The most common is naked attraction. As good-looking as you are, you ought to know about that. There’s the emotion of friendship. There’s also the emotion of momentary infatuation. Then there’s the emotion of something quite different, deeper, more long-lasting.”

  “What’s that?”

  “That’s what I’m not sure about. I think it’s made up of little bits of the first ones. But it’s got to have something stronger to make it last. Maybe need. Maybe finding something you want so much you never willingly go without it, something you need so much you’ll sacrifice for it.”

  “What could be that important?”

  “I’m still trying to figure that out, but maybe you already know. What was so important about Boulder Gap that you came back here even though nearly everybody wanted you to leave?”

  She wondered if she’d ever get used to his long pauses in conversation.

  “I found my soul when I found my valley. It’s where I came when I was so angry I wanted to hurt everybody. Where I came when the pain of knowing nobody wanted me grew too great to endure. It’s the only place where I could lie down and sleep soundly. It’s my home. It fills me up when I start to feel empty. It comforts me when I wonder if I shouldn’t give up and go away. Without it I wouldn’t be whole.”

  “I think you’ve just described it better than I ever could.”

  “Described what?”

  “The kind of emotion that lasts forever, the kind every man and woman wants to find. The kind that’s called love.”

  “I don’t ever want to feel that for a woman.”

  “Why?”

  “My stepfather worshiped my mother. He would do anything for her, even live with the shame of knowing his wife was another man’s mistress. He loved her so much he couldn’t live without her.”

  Tanzy was beginning to wonder if there was no limit to the pain and destruction Russ’s mother had managed to cause in her short life.

  “You’ve opened yourself to your men, and you’ve opened yourself to Tardy,” she said.

  That’s not the same.”

  “I know, but it’s for that very reason you must open yourself to women—well, at least one woman. You’ll never be complete, never be happy until you do.”

  Another pause. He was driving her crazy.

  “Why do you care?”

  “Because I like you.”

  “You don’t want to marry me.”

  “That doesn’t mean I can’t like you. You don’t want to marry me, but you like me.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “You just said—”

  “About
not wanting to marry you.”

  Now it was her turn to fall silent. This wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

  “I don’t think being married to you would be bad,” Russ said. “You’re pretty, you’re nice, the boys like you, and you didn’t lie to me.”

  As unsatisfactory as Russ’s reasons were, they represented a big step for him. Even if they involved less emotional content than a lecture on the role of gold in the settling of the West, he had changed his mind. It was progress.

  “I’m glad you approve of me, but that doesn’t mean I’d be a good wife for you.”

  “Why wouldn’t you?”

  “Because I want to mean more to my husband than your valley means to you.”

  “That’s impossible.”

  “Then you’d better start looking for someone who’ll settle for less.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “Why?”

  “Because the only one I’d settle for is you.”

  Tanzy didn’t think she could stand any more revelations. Or the wild, out-of-control shifting of her emotions. She hated it when her head was in conflict with her emotions. It was even worse when her body disagreed with both. She felt like a battlefield with no victor, only the casualties of an indecisive conflict.

  Why on earth should such an artless confession touch her in ways beautifully turned phrases never could? Russ was an emotional cripple caught in a fight for his life. She didn’t want anybody she had to prop up. She wanted a partner—equality and mutual respect.

  “Were you able to get all the supplies you wanted?” Russ asked.

  The change in subject startled her but was a relief. She needed time to organize her thoughts, control her emotions, understand why her body was drawn to Russ like iron to a magnet.

  “I want you to kill him,” Stocker said to Chick during their midnight meeting in his office at the saloon.

  “You told me not to kill him, that you wanted to see him hang.”

  “I’ve changed my mind. I don’t care how you do it as long as he’s dead.”

  Everything seemed to change after that ride from town. Tanzy became so aware of Russ that he seldom left her thoughts. She watched his every move, listened and remembered his every word, tried to fathom his moods.