by Teri Wilson
But that wasn’t quite true. The camp wasn’t just a paycheck. It meant something to him, more now than ever before. Seeing how much the summer camp meant to Jenna’s kids, especially Nick, had given him a whole new perspective the past few weeks. It wasn’t just a way for Lucas to pay for a home at the beach so he could surf all the time. The camp was an important part of the community on Tybee, and if this deal went through, it could change other beach communities all over the state. Maybe even the country.
The two investors exchanged a glance and Lucas held his breath.
Finally, one of them smiled and put him out of his misery. “We’ll leave the promotional piece as is and just run with it from there.”
So this was happening?
There would obviously be contracts to sign and details to hammer out, but it sounded like they’d struck a tentative deal.
Lucas nodded. “Hey, I’m open to anything as long as the integrity of the camp stays the same.”
Bob, the investor Lucas had known since his Berkeley days, tossed his napkin on the table. “Well, I think we need to go out and celebrate, start talking expansion plans.”
Yes!
He’d done it.
Lucas grinned, but just as he was about to agree to an impromptu celebration, his phone lit up and began vibrating on the crisp white tablecloth.
Jenna’s name flashed on the tiny screen, right beneath the time display. It read 2:13. He’d been sitting at this table for more than two hours, and now Nick was probably only minutes away from his swim trial.
He had no idea the meeting had run so long, but it wasn’t as if he could have gotten up and walked out. And now there was no way he’d make it back to the camp in time for Nick’s race.
Still, his jaw tensed as the call rolled to voice mail.
“I’d love to,” Lucas said. I made the kid a promise. “But I can’t.”
Bob frowned. “Why? Do you have a wife and kids waiting for you?”
Lucas shook his head. “You know that’s not the case.”
Bob was familiar with Lucas’s trajectory since business school. He’d mentioned time and again how much he envied Lucas’s carefree life on Tybee.
No strings. That’s what Lucas was famous for, wasn’t it?
“Then what?” Bob shrugged. “You’ve worked hard.”
How could Lucas possibly explain his desire to leave? The deal still wasn’t official, and as far as Bob knew, the summer camp was the most important thing in Lucas’s life.
Is it, though?
“You’re right. I have.” Lucas nodded. Of course the summer camp was his priority. As much as he liked Jenna and her kids, they were leaving Tybee in just a few days. Nick and Ally would have school to keep them busy, Jenna would have her book and he’d have his camp. Only now it would be camps, plural. Life would go back to the way it had been before.
Whether he wanted it to or not.
Lucas cleared his throat. “Ten years in the making. I can’t believe this is a go.”
“Let’s start planning,” Bob’s associate said.
The two men stood, and Lucas sat for a moment, staring at Jenna’s missed call notification on his phone.
He told himself it was already too late. Even if he left right that second, he’d never make it to Nick’s race. It didn’t really matter whether he was there or not. Nick had 1:18 in the bag. There wasn’t a doubt in Lucas’s mind the kid would make the team.
It would all work out fine. He was doing the right thing.
Then why did it feel so wrong?
Jenna could barely sit still.
All around her, people were clapping and cheering, but she didn’t hear any of it. She was hyper-focused on every move Nick made. He’d had a rocky dive into the pool, but as soon as his wiry little body started moving through the water, he caught up with the other boys.
“Go Nick, go Nick, go!” she chanted.
He was almost neck and neck with Grayson in the lane beside him, which was a good sign. Grayson had been swimming on the school swim team for a year already. Nick couldn’t wait until they could compete together. Swimming with his best friend was one of the biggest reasons he was so desperate to make the team.
He had to make 1:18. He just had to.
He’d be crushed if he didn’t.
“Come on, come on, come on,” Jenna whispered.
It was more of a prayer than a cheer as the swimmers reached the halfway mark. As soon as he reached the middle of the pool, Nick fell behind Grayson. A few strokes later, the other swimmers around him pulled ahead as well.
By the time the race was over and Nick’s hand touched the pool wall, he was dead last.
Jenna was on the verge of tears as he pulled off his goggles and tossed them into the water.
Don’t cry.
She couldn’t let Nick think she was disappointed in his performance. She wasn’t, obviously. She loved her kids unconditionally, and Nick had worked so hard on his swimming all summer long. He could never disappoint her.
But she was definitely disappointed in a certain adult.
Lucas should have been here. She swallowed around the lump in her throat and pasted on a smile as she clapped for Nick. He gave Nick his word.
Maybe she was being too hard on him…again. Lucas had been so great with Nick and Ally all summer. He’d probably gotten stuck at the investment meeting for the summer camp, which was a reasonable explanation.
Or it would have been, if he hadn’t promised Nick he’d be there. Kids didn’t understand excuses and explanations where promises were concerned. A promise was a promise.
One by one, the boys climbed out of the pool to dry off and accept the congratulations of their friends and family. Nick was last again, dragging himself from the water to go sit alone at one of the camp picnic tables with is towel slung around his neck.
Jenna couldn’t take it.
She left Ally waiting on the bleachers so she could go give him a little pep talk. He’d tried his best, and that was all that mattered.
Grayson beat her to it, though. He walked over to the picnic table, still in his swimsuit with his goggles propped on his head, and attempted to cheer Nick up.
“Hey, Nick. There was a lot of drag in the pool.” Grayson shrugged. “I felt it.”
Nick offered him a weak smile. “You don’t need to say that.”
Grayson paused, and then gave it another go. “You want a soda?”
Nick shook his head. “I don’t want anything.”
Jenna took a deep breath and smiled at Grayson as she reached them. “Nice job, Grayson.”
“Thanks, Mrs. T,” he said.
He was such a good kid, and a great friend to Nick. Jenna made a mental note to tell Maureen how sweet he’d been after the race.
She waved at Grayson as he headed toward the snack area. Then she joined Nick beside him on the bench. “You did good, bud. Really close. You should feel proud.”
Nick’s face fell. “Can you stop saying that?”
The lump in Jenna’s throat grew threefold. Her next words came out as barely more than a whisper. “I just don’t want you to beat yourself up.”
“Then stop talking about it, okay?” Nick stood and stomped away.
She stared after him at a loss. This was going so much worse than she’d feared. There had to be something she could say or do to fix things. But what?
Her stomach churned like it always did when she felt like she’d lost control of a situation. Seeing her kids hurt was the very worst part of parenting. She’d never get used to it. It brought out the mother bear in her like nothing else
I just need a plan. That’s all.
For once, she couldn’t come up with a course of action. The highest fence in the world wouldn’t take away the pain in Nick’s eyes.
His disap
pointment didn’t escape Kayla’s notice either. She watched him stalk toward the snack area as she took a seat beside Jenna.
“I’m sorry.” She bit her lip. “I don’t know what happened out there.”
Jenna shook her head. “It’s not your fault,” she said quietly.
This was Lucas’s fault, one hundred percent. Nick had been brimming with confidence until he realized Lucas had broken his promise.
She didn’t want to blame him, but she couldn’t help it.
“I’m surprised Lucas missed it,” Kayla said, as if she could read Jenna’s mind.
Jenna turned to study her expression. “Are you really?”
After all, Kayla had warned her about this very thing.
He’s a sweet guy, for sure. But a family man he is not. He likes his freedom way too much.
Those had been her exact words at the summer concert. And like a fool, Jenna had forgotten all about them.
Not completely, though. Despite the flowers, despite the cozy sunset dinner at Sam’s on the shore, and despite the kindness he’d shown to her kids, she’d been half expecting Lucas to be as casual about his promises as he was about leaving his porch a mess. She just couldn’t help it.
On some level, she’d known this would happen. She simply hadn’t wanted to believe it. When would she learn that she couldn’t rely on anyone else? Had the divorce taught her nothing?
“This time, yes,” Kayla said.
Her lips were pressed together, her expression solemn. Despite her words of warning, she seemed genuinely surprised Lucas hadn’t materialized.
Jenna wished she could say the same.
Chapter Fifteen
It was after dark by the time Lucas finally got home, and Tank was nowhere to be found.
The doggy door on his side of the duplex allowed Tank to dart back and forth between the inside of the house and the deck. Normally when Lucas had been gone for longer than a mere five minutes, his pup greeted him on the patio with excited barks and a wagging tail.
Luckily, before worry could fully set in, he spotted Tank through the big bay window on Jenna’s half of the beach house. The dog was sprawled across the sofa, spooning with Ally, his devoted best friend. Both pup and child were sound asleep.
As if the cozy display wasn’t already sweet enough, Jenna sat beside them, reading a book with Ally’s head nestled her lap.
Lucas paused on the threshold, taking in the homey scene. From the moment Jenna had moved in with her ancient typewriter and her organized storage bins, she’d made his house a home. And now Tank looked so much like part of the family that a dull ache formed in his chest.
He swallowed it down and knocked on the door.
Through the window he saw Jenna glance in his direction and then swivel her attention back to the hardback book in her hands. She didn’t budge from the couch, and somewhere in the back of Lucas’s mind, alarm bells began to sound.
“I’ve got it,” someone said.
Nick’s voice. Lucas would recognize it anywhere.
A second later, the boy came into view, striding toward the screen door in a hoodie and jeans. He swung the door open and greeted Lucas with a deflated expression.
“Hey, buddy.” Lucas grinned. Nick didn’t crack a smile, and that’s when he knew.
He knew with absolute certainty.
Nick hadn’t swum the time he needed to make the team in the fall. Lucas didn’t even have to ask. It was written all over the poor kid’s face. It was also written all over Jenna’s, who’d yet to utter a peep. She stayed right where she was, glaring down at her reading material.
Lucas stumbled over his next words, knowing they were wholly inadequate in the face of such profound disappointment. “Sorry I missed you earlier.”
“That’s fine.” Nick’s voice was uncharacteristically flat.
It wasn’t fine. That much was obvious. Lucas had messed up in the worst possible way.
How could this have happened? Nick had 1:18 in the bag. He’d made the time days ago in practice and had been consistent every day since.
Only one thing about today had been different—Lucas hadn’t been there, cheering him on.
He had the sudden urge to turn back time and tell Bob he couldn’t go out and celebrate, but of course that wasn’t possible.
He shifted from one foot to the other. “Is your mom home?”
Of course she was. She was sitting less than twenty feet away on the sofa, studiously avoiding his gaze.
Lucas didn’t even know what he was saying. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Nick hadn’t made 1:18.
And it might have been my fault.
“Yeah.” Nick gave him a weak smile. It was only the barest twitch of his lips, but Lucas would take what he could get. “I’ll go get her.”
Lucas nodded. He didn’t dare cross the threshold and enter Jenna’s half of the house. Those days were apparently over. Tank might be welcome but he most definitely wasn’t.
Instead, he moved to the railing overlooking the ocean and took a deep breath of salty sea air while he waited for Jenna. The beach always had a way of calming him, and this time was no different.
Maybe things weren’t as bad as he feared. It had been a long day. For everyone. Maybe he’d only been imagining her cold-shoulder treatment, and she was simply sad for Nick.
Besides, Lucas wanted Nick to make his swim team just as much as everyone else did. He hadn’t intentionally done anything wrong. He’d simply attended a business meeting.
Which is exactly something my father would have said back when I was a kid.
Lucas’s jaw clenched as memories flooded his consciousness—baseball games, school open houses, spelling bees. So many times when he’d searched the crowd for his dad’s face. So many crushing disappointments.
Lucas had never wanted to be that kind of father, which was precisely why he’d never married, never had kids. And yet history was repeating itself all the same.
The screen door slammed, pulling Lucas back to the present as Jenna joined him on the deck.
She walked toward him, arms crossed. She was wearing another one of those cardigans he loved so much. This one was blue, the exact color of Tybee’s north shore at low tide.
“I’m glad your meeting went well,” she said.
He smiled. “Thank you.”
“But you can’t do that.”
His smile dimmed somewhat. “Yes. You’re right. Absolutely. I should have gotten a dog sitter. I didn’t know how long it was going to take.”
It was a cowardly apology. He was avoiding the real issue, and they both knew it.
“This isn’t about Tank.” Jenna’s voice broke, splitting Tank’s name into two syllables. Lucas hadn’t thought he could feel worse about Nick not making the team, but he’d been wrong. “You can’t make promises to kids that you can’t keep.”
Lucas took a ragged exhale and weighed his next words very carefully. “I thought Nick had it.”
It was the truth…
And it still wasn’t good enough.
Jenna shook her head. “But he didn’t.”
“And that’s my fault?” No, it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. Lucas refused to believe it because if he did, it was tantamount to admitting he’d become the one thing he’d never wanted to be. He’d become his father.
Jenna stared at him, incredulous. “It threw him.”
Lucas let out a long sigh. “See, this is why I stay unattached.”
“Responsibility?” She arched a brow, and he had the distinct impression she was considering adding another foot or two to the fence that still stretched from one end of the patio to the other.
“Hey, it keeps things simple.”
Or it had, until he’d fallen for Jenna. Because he hadn’t just fallen for her—he’d fallen for a
ll three of them. Jenna, Nick and Ally. They were the three sweetest complications he could have ever imagined.
“So you just want to live the bachelor lifestyle forever? Never get close to anyone?” Her eyes were soft as a doe’s. It made it hard for Lucas to look at her.
I can still fix this.
I have to fix this.
But he couldn’t, because no matter how much he wanted to, Jenna wouldn’t let him. She’d made up her mind. One mistake, and he was back on the opposite side of her fence.
“You’re one to talk.” He glanced at the fence and then back at her. “You literally built a barrier in your backyard because you’re too afraid to let people in. Well, you cannot write people off like that.”
Tears shimmered in her eyes. “This is not about me.”
Lucas countered as gently as he could, “It kind of is.”
He should know. It had taken him nearly all summer to scale that fence.
“It’s about Nick,” she said sharply. “He needed your support.”
Lucas was treading on dangerous territory. He knew how much Jenna loved her kids. But he also knew how much trouble she had letting go. She’d admitted as much during their dinner at Sam’s. She wished she could stop “trying to control things from all sides.” Those had been her exact words.
Lucas took a tentative stop closer. His hands itched to hold her, but he didn’t dare. “He’s not a little boy anymore. He’s eleven years old. He can’t rely on other people to push him. He needs to learn how to push himself.”
She shook her head, either unable or unwilling to hear him. Probably both. “You know what? I don’t want to argue with you about this.”
Of course not. She’d rather push him away.
Again.
“Fine,” he said quietly.
The last thing he wanted to do was argue. He just wanted things to go back to the way they’d been before. He wanted to bring Jenna flowers. He wanted to eat arugula and chocolate chips while her kids interrogated him again.
“You can go.” Jenna’s gaze flitted toward his half of the beach house. Then she added half-heartedly, “…if you want.”
He’d pushed her too far. He should have apologized, begged forgiveness and left it at that.
